"Bragging about being flat on the floor passed out drunk while I rifle through your wallet doesn't count hon."
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"Well Jolene, Dicky said you agreed to come over when he does later."
"You really want to discuss your proposed business opportunity in public? I realize that among my businesses I run an animal husbandry service, but I'm not sure why you want everybody to know that you wanted to...ahem...assist. Even after I explained to you that there are laws against what you were proposing, you excitedly claiming, "It's okay, I'm an animal too" still doesn't sit well with me. You and Dicky, constantly wanting to get it on with the cattle. I swear there's something wrong with the both of you."
Rikki gets shot "the look" from the corner.
I hear all the terrible things you say about me. You don't think they break my heart and make me cry inside? You wait until I get you to your mom's, bless her soul that she has to deal with you still. Now where did I put that bar of soap, I think it's time for a mouth rincin' lad.
A kindly old lady walks into the bar. She squints at Dicky and she hears what comes out of his mouth. Little Dicky Serpico. I remember you running around in that diaper crying out "look at me, I'm a Pathfinder" years and years ago; roughly the same time I was wiping that little bottom of yours. You think you're just a big boy now don't you? Does your mom know about that filthy mouth? I right aughta go drag you to her right now. She shakes her cane, walks over, and grabs Dicky by the ear. |
