"Medge, what is it being powered by? Evil energies or good energies?"
"Ronk, I need you to dismount. I have some magic but I can't channel it while being next to the creature."
Twitchy looks around for the source of the haunt, but doesn't see it. "My bombs aren't magic! Medge is right. The time is not to fight. It's to flee! If haunts are rooted to a place, we can come back tomorrow, with magic and stuff, and kill it then."
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"Gurp might been able to fight it, but you say 'Oh no, Gurp! We no need rest! You maybe have enough mojo left from lizard fight!' Now Gurp can't fight nasty spirit. We need go!"
"This area, bad stuff happen here so it turns into Haunt. Dumb thing can't move, so can always come back! It not going anywhere so we come back with full mojo and magic and stuff!"
Letting out a low whine, Mort are we staying to kill the Haunty Thing?
"Are you all running from this shadowy thing that's been trying to scare us? Are you scared of your own shadows?" he yells at his retreating team mates. Well, except for Ronk.
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"No, stupid cat! We not scared of own shadows. We just not want be killed by other people's shadows! Use you brain!" Gurp crosses his arms and walks away slowly, so that he doesn't accidentally leave Squishy behind.
[b]“Slash it through
Make em join you
To my crew
More us we accrue”[b]
The Shadow raises it’s dark hand over Ronk…
And strikes the small rager.
Ronk feels so cold and weak the moment the Shadow touches him. Life feels like it is leaving him.
Gasping at the horrific sensation of the Shadow touching him. Ice runs though his veins but still not potent enough to halt his fury. Spurned on to make certain this creepy shade is not able to touch any of his tribe Ronk lifts his now significantly heavier stick.
"Ronk, are you ok?"
Mortimer 5ft steps back, then summons a bolt of frost at the shadow.
"Darn you slippery thing!" he curses.
Twitchy is pissed. Hubby and the pompous talking cat are not fleeing. Noooo, they are charging straight into danger. She wants to just leave them behind. But then she hears Ronk's scream as the shadow attacks him.
"I can kick their stupid, stubborn asses LATER."
"Medge... you got a magic dogslicer. We need HELP!" She kicks Fluffer's sides, wheels around, and pulls a wand from her belt and flies straight at it.
"You NOT attack my RONK! Die, shadow, die!"
Medge pulls out her magical horse-stabbing dagger and jumps into the fray. "Still think this is dumb idea!"
The Shadow wails at Twitchy’s attack, and it bears down on Twitchy …
In it's pain it misses far.
Twitchy deftly dodges the shadow coming for her, but it throws her off her game and she misses this time. "This is very STUPID idea, Medge, but I no can let Ronk die just because he bonked on the head too many times as a baby!"
Mortimer darts in and tries to distract the shadow, hoping Ronk can land a solid blow.
Screaming in rage as the Shadow moves in on his Twitchy,
The stick slings far to low to connect with the shade. Ronk growls at his lack of strength.
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Gurp, who has been watching the fight from behind some ferns, covers his face with his hand. "Oh, for love of Swamp..." He walks up to the shadow, his face a portrait of annoyance, and starts calling upon his swamp mojo. He glares at the Shadow and spits at it. "Suck on mojo and die, nasty spirit!"
"Eh, we call him big dumbdumb later! Give stern but loving but also soul crushing talk later!"
Stabbing a shadow seems pretty silly, but Medge does it anyways
At Medge’s half hearted swing the Shadow dissipates out of sight. It leaves nothing behind.
Zeli peeks out from the darkness. "Oh my gosh, you've slain the oggledy-boogledy-boos! You're all great heroes!", she gushes.
"Don't mention it." He seems flustered, and from the shade of his fur, more then a little embarassed. Oh my gosh- to be rescued by Medge - what's she going to think of me now?
"Say, Medge - did you find out what's powering that shady thing?"
Wide eyed Ronk watches Medge causally slay the Shadow. The fire in his belly goes out, Its not fair.
Letting his bonking stick slide to the ground and flopping on his bum after it Ronk stares at where the shadow was. What did that thing do to Ronk? So weak. Not good.
Turning to look at Medge with a glare, Ronk and Mort Kitty had the Shadow thing!
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Twitchy lands. She stomps over to Ronk, and shouts,
Then she turns to Mort. "And YOU, the pompous talking cat! You supposed to be smart. Your bird was smart. Zeli, he ran away like he was supposed to. You... You were supposed to keep my Ronk safe in battle and instead you join him in brainless battle lust against an incorporeal foe!"
She turns back to Ronk. She's shaking and sobbing, she's so furious. "We're partners. We're married. We supposed to listen to each other. We tell you to wait. We tell you to fight again later. But instead you were so focused on your own glory that you not only put yourself in danger, but all of us. You got hurt, but that could have been me. That could have been Medge. That could have been Gurp or his swamp mojo-filled slugs!"
Then she turns her back on him.
"You're not worthy of your monster hat! You're not worthy of me. There'll be no more special private bitey time until you learn to listen!"
As if Ronk and the cat aren't there, she walks to Medge, wiping the tears away with her trailing sleeve. "How we gonna fix this haunt so it doesn't come back? Do you know, or do we gotta go back to the Queen and ask? And aren't there supposed to be creepy lizards around here somewhere?"
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Leaping to his feet and only wobbling a little bit. No, no, no! That is not how this goes! Ronk doesn't care about the stupid haunt. They are dumb stuck undead. Ronk and Mort did the noble thing and fought the scary shadow!
Getting in Twitchys face, Shadow things gone and haunt still here so shadow could have followed Dread Pirates. How do we see Shadow in the night?
Swinging around with his arms out and coming full circle to face Twitchy again. That's right we don't! And the shadow comes and kills Dread Pirates
Gulping in air and taking on a paler color, Ronk strongest and one touch from Shadow and Ronk is weak as a baby. Twitchy could have died while Dread Pirates sleep. Ronk try to be good mate and stop that. Mort is good pet and helped. Then you yell at us! Jabbing a finger at his sad wife to emphasize his point.
Leaning in so there is almost no space between their faces Ronk mumbles, Ronk is willing to read for you and you yell at us for trying to keep Tribe safe. That's no fair. Ronk doesn't want special private bitey time until you learn to nice. Ronks job is to protect Dread Pirates and Ronk did it.
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Medge yells back ”Medge TOLD YOU that haunt do not move! Is stuck in one place! But you no listen to Medge, and you charge in it steals some of your mojo! Stupid thing couldn’t have followed us, is stuck in one place! If you want to help and protect fellow Dread Pirates you need to listen to fellow Dread Pirates and trust Pirates who say they know what up!”
She walks up to Ronk and pokes him, hard. ”Medge not jump in to steal glory. Medge already has all the glory ever. Medge went to stab shadow to keep you and Mort Pet-Friend from being all shadow eaten. Don’t be mad that fellow pirate came to help, otherwise maybe next time nobody want to help Ronk.”
Medge stomps over to Mort and looks him up and down. ”Ok, so. Number the one, can claws become magic? We need to look this up. Number the two, to make haunt go away forever. So, something make this area have haunt. If people died, we bury bones. If something nasty happen here, burn down place where nasty-nesses happen. Need to find place that cause this. We go look while Twitchy and Ronk yell at each other. You come look too Gurp?” Oh, and number the three, will Zeli bird come back soon? We need to go search for Zeli bird?”
"You said it was tied to this area - do any of you know the boundaries of this area? Could be the whole swamp. And you would leave something behind that would come back and haunt you later? How wise."he says cuttingly."I've seen humans who didn't live long enough to regret that mistake. Their bones litter the Sanos forest."
He molifies his tone somewhat. "I appreciate your concern about us, but as Dread Pirate Goblins we'll be out there raiding, and people will fight back. A few ouches is to be expected." He cocks his head and looks at Twitchy curiously. He had never heard of goblins running away from things except for dogs, or horses, which thankfully he wasn't one...
"Medge, I once knew a place where they made amulets that would make claws magical, but that place is no more." Mortimer's voice sounds sad.
Zeli bird lands on Medge's hat. "Maybe the place you're looking for is where the oogledy-boogledy-boo came up." Zeli's beak points at the mound of earth from which the shadow rose,
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Gurp looks from Ronk to Mort and back again while rubbing his temples. "Please tell Gurp one thing, Ronk and cat. How things end up like this? Stupid genes supposed to die out after time. How you still alive after this long? It luck? It muscle? Gurp think it probably just muscle. You should thank Swamp for giving you good muscle genes."
"But!" Gurp says, pointing at Mort and Ronk with both hands. "Muscle not only important thing. Use brains Swamp give you! Alligator is strong, very strong. But also stupid! Alligator has tiny berry brain. But you know how alligator live so long with tiny stupid brain? It know what it can and can not do. Alligator see goblin, it try eat goblin. If goblin stronger than alligator think, it swim away. Alligator see dragon, it swim away or stay hidden. How is alligator, with stupid tiny brain, being smarter than Ronk and cat with big brains?"
"What Gurp saying is be careful. Know you limits! Know when to fight, know when to hide in ferns! If half of Dread Pirates go away from fight, do not think, 'Oh! This okay! Ronk and cat have this! Nothing go wrong!' That not how you live to pass on genes. That how you die and have body swallowed by Swamp."
Seemingly worn out by his speech, Gurp helps Medge poke around.
Growling, All of Dread Pirates were yelling at stupid haunt shadow thing. We challenged it! Of course Ronk and Mort went fight. You not want to fight then shouldn't have yelled at it.
Crossing his arms, Not Ronks fault.
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Glaring at Twitchy while moving so that they are inches apart Ronk starts to sing.
[Ronk:]
Every single day,
I rage and I start to bonk
I hear people say 'Better run, it’s Ronk!'
Ever since birth
Everybody runs from me
Gobs, pigs, clubbin’ in the dark
I take em to task in my monster mask
Just remember that I'm your lit spark
Take Ronk for who he is
Who Ronk has to be
And if Twitchy give a damn
Take me, flame me,
Or leave me
Take me or leave me
A Worg in a cage
Never plays in the muck
This hero needs his fights Twitchy
Lets have fun
You are the one Ronk wants
To the other Gobs you should flaunt
You love the crazy passion by now Twitchy
Say you are mine or are you wasting Ronks time?
Cryin’ Twichy Boom Boom are you still my, my, my ember’
Take Ronk for who he is
Who Ronk was meant to be
And if Twitchy gives a damn
Take me Twitchy or leave me
Impossible, for Ronk to not be the Hero
But hey, don't you want your hubby great?
Oh, don't fight, don’t get so stressed
'cause every night who's in your nest?
Who?
Who's in your nest?
[Spoken:] kiss Twitchy
Twitchy steps away, crossing her arms.
[Twitchy:]
It won't work
I look before I leap
I love explosives and discipline
I listen to my mate, Ronk Bonk
What's my sin?
Never quit
I follow through
I hate mess but I love you
What do with my barbarian beau?
So be wise 'cause this girl satisfies
You got a prize but don't compromise
You’re one lucky hero
Take me for what I am
[Ronk:] a bossy Goblin
[Twitchy:] who I was meant to be
[Ronk:] the Goblin who loves you
[Twitchy:] and if you give a damn
[Ronk:] but you’ve been so mean to me
[Twitchy:] take me, Ronk, or leave me
[Ronk:] are we really through?
[Both:] That's it
[Twitchy:] the bomb that blows me back
[Both:] I quit
[Twitchy:] unless you take it back
[Ronk:] Twitchy what is it about you?
[Both:] can't live with you or without you!
[Chorus:]
[Both:] take me for what I am
[Twitchy:] who I was meant to be
[Ronk:] who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
[Twitchy:] and if you give a damn then
Take me, Ronk, or leave me
[Ronk:] take me Twitchy, take me or la-la-la-la-la-leave me
[Both:] Oh, please don’t leave me!
[Spoken:] ‘Cause without you I can’t go on!
Taking a step back from Twitchy as the magical music fades away. Looking around for a moment then back at Twitchy, Still not sorry Ronk and Mort fought the shadow thing. But Ronk will try to listen better huffing and glaring around at his companions, but if Dread Pirates are not fighting something then Ronk needs to know before the yelling and threats.
Crossing his arms are staring at Twitchy, Well?
Twitchy throws her arms around Ronk. "Alright, if you try and listen, I'll try not to yell and make threats."
Then she looks up at him. "Shall we find lizards now?"
"Glad you two made up. Twitchy, you have a very shrill voice." Mortimer winces.
"We still need to figure how to make the shadowy thingie not come back."
Mortimer begins to dig the mound of earth that Zeli was pointing to.
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Gurp looks up from the pile of mud he's searching through and nods at Ronk an Twitchy. "This very touching, Gurp happy for you two, blah blah blah. Help root through mud now! It not root itself!" Gurp rubs his chin in thought for a bit. "Hmm. Maybe it do. Swamp! Lend me you strength! Let muck help us look through muck!" Gurp waves his hands, and channels the swamp's power through the mud.
The mud in front of Gurp bubbles up, and forms the crude form of a goblin with slug-like eye stalks. Gurp claps his hands in delight. "Excellent! Gurp name you Sir Squishton! Now help Gurp look through muck, Sir Squishton." Gurp goes back to work looking for the cause of the haunt, along with his new minion.
"I have shrill voice? You kidding me?"
Twitchy's voice rises higher still as she sings,
All gobs got a place in the mire,
Some sing low some sing higher
Some shriek out loud as they build their pyre
Out of oils or tails or anything they got now!
"Captain Medge, we need you! Tell us how to deal with this haunt!"
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"I know EVERYTHING there is to know 'bout haunts! Haunts are repelled by us walking away from here and hunting down lizards! Gurp, take your mud thing on the road. Twitchy, you can torture Ronk more on the way! Let's go!"
If you are going after the lizard-folk please give me survivals for going back to the boat. You all are not far let me know if the take a ten or twenty from this point on.
"Yes you do, Twitchy. Especially when you get angry."
Mortimer gives a growl at the mound of mud he was digging up.
"Its this way!" And moves in the appropriate direction.
Zeli tries her hand at this find-your-way-home business.
"Kingie, its THAT way!" and points her beak at the opposite direction.
She flies up to Twitchy and begins grumbling in her ear."Me-thinks-Kingie-got-lost-again."
Dipping his hands into the mud and scooping out two handfuls he rubs the muck into Mort. Be nice to Twitchy!
Mortimer shudders as the cold muck touches his skin. "Urghhh. Its like having a cold slug put on you," he whines in protest. "I'll be good. I promise."
Patting Mort face with his still mucky hands, Good Mort Kitty. Twitchy has a nice voice.
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"Bird right, cat. Gurp think you should maybe never try choose direction again, because you point at way we come just come from. This why you never ask invasive species for directions!"
The weary traveling tribe arrives on the out skirts of brush near the Dread Pirate Boat.
"When I catch up with those lizards, I'm going to make sure that they KNOW that running away from us was a bad idea."
As the night wears on, Mortimers gait slows from it's usual bouncy stride to a plod.
Zeli takes the simple expedient of taking a nap on Fluffer.
Twitchy falls asleep on Fluffer as well. Fluffer lands on the Crow's Nest of the Dread Pirate boat and conks out himself.
Crawling onto Morts and reaching up to sratch Morts ear Ronk settles in until the group is back to their ship. Once there Ronk tiredly goes to the mast.
Medge is half asleep on her feet. "Need boat. Boat. Get to boat."
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Gurp and Squishy don't seem tired at all. Gurp looks around at his companions looking confused and slightly smug. "What with you? You tired? Gurp knows that feeling. Gurp was tired after first lizard fight. But Gurp get by just fine when others say 'No rest, Gurp!', so Gurp sure you can handle it."