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3. Moms show up. Yep, all of 'em, nagging the PCs about why they've not gotten married and cranked out grandbabies by now, tsk-tsk'ing about just how gawds-awful dirty the dungeon is and criticizing their 'career choice'.
"Your father and I did not sacrifice, scrimp and scrape for you to go to Chirurgical School just to flunk out and become an anarchist!"
4. Monster moms show up, checking on their kids on their bi-annual holiday feast tour of the continent. Might be a welcome relief after 3. Some parental bonding might ensue ... or not.
"My Chester, how could you?!" flaming breath weapons ensue
5. Some group of murderhobos shows up and rolls initiative.
"Roll for initiative, monkey-boys!"
6. The Queen's seneschal and heavily armed retinue arrive. The good news is that Her Majesty has decreed that the PCs are knights of the realm with the privileges and rights therein. Said privilege includes the prompt payment of Her Majesty's taxes on the land about/above the dungeon plus however many obnoxious fees, royalties and so forth that the seneschal cares to levy. Ideally, the seneschal/designated representative is someone the PCs already have a strong dislike of. Bonus RP if the dislike is mutual. Extra gravy bonus RP if the representative is a fan of Red Tape, nearly despises the PCs and is portrayed in such a manner as to push as many of the players' buttons as you are comfortable with.
7. Santa Claus. Have they been naughty, or nice? 'cause Old Saint Nick might be a mythic Paladin with an itch to lay the smack down on some candy arsed murderhobos...
8. Postal carriers/pony express riders politely request a safe house for their use in their dungeon near a guarded entrance.
9. Plumbers union. Those middens don't install themselves you know. Only worthwhile if none of the PCs have the requisite skills.
10. Janitors union strike. Cleaning this place up is uncalled for! Vive le Broom!
11. The local organized criminals want a piece of their action. Or else.
12. All those lovers from their past show up during all of this mess, toddlers/children in tow. Depending on race, disgruntled children may show up instead, as part of any of the above.
13. Smaug.
14. Its actually a giant monsters mouth, much like the giant worm from Star Wars.
15. The secret back door exit from the dungeon just garnered a double-meaning...
17. Three words: location, location, location. Sure, it's a great dungeon, but having to go through Fleshfester Swamp to get there?
20. The Drow who live way downstairs are very bad neighbors.
21. Darklings and dark stalkers keep trying to put the lights out.
22. The Real Scryers of Meticulous County start dropping scrying sensors all over the place, all day long. Pop too many, they do a scry-n-fry on the place.
23. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate furniture that matches with walls that are "decaying lichen" colour?
24. Now you have to meticulously survey the dungeon. Prepare plenty of detect secret doors. The trapfinder is going to hate you all.
25. All of that green slime doesn't burn itself out y'know!
26. Triple-check that any wells are not wishing wells. The same goes for fountains and other sources of potable water involving finished stonework.
27. Otyugh taming.
28. Kobochicken farms. Gotta get your egg rations from somewhere.
29. Wandering monsters. They wander in from somewhere. Fleshfester Swamp, perhaps?
30. The Infernal Revenue Service.
31. Did you forget to establish Doppleganger Protocols? oops.
32. So, exactly what did you guys plan to do regarding food again?
29. Wandering monsters. They wander in from somewhere. Fleshfester Swamp, perhaps?
That's a good one right?
29. Wandering monsters. They wander in from somewhere. Fleshfester Swamp, perhaps?That's a good one right?
33. Fleshfester Swamp forms nearby...
Yes, I like. :)
34. Theres still an evil overlord trying to take over the world.
35. Evil heros keep trying to sneak in and open the scary door.
36. Someone keeps knocking on the other side of the scary door. Ok, it's me!
37. It turns out Fleshfester Fever is actually an anaphylactic reaction to a spore-borne fungal infestation. And that stuff we thought was soot on the ceilings? Um...
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38. It's built on top of an ancient burial ground of vengeful genocide victims - who'd ever have guessed?
39. Now that the gelatinous cubes have all been slain, the dungeon no longer has the natural janitorial patrol that was keeping the corridors clean.
40. Three words: Noisy ice machine.
41. Cleric gets fed up with other party members constantly bringing items with mildew to be examined.
42. That smell is the monster corpses you animated to clean the place.
43. You've got Osquip!
44. Lawyers. Lots of them. It turn out that these monsters paid their taxes and were working for the local Duke to help defend his weak border. The Duke looked the other way if an occasional traveler or merchant vanished because the people on the other side of the border were worse.
45. The ARMY from across the border. Now that the dungeon is vacant, this is a prime time to strike.
46. Tammy doesn't f+@# around.
47. The Lawyers from the Grey Outlands show up wanting to destroy the entire dungeon because the Osquip(which you don't even want) are not your intellectual property(whatever that is). How do you even roleplay it when this madness comes through the forth wall?
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48. We're not making much process in disabling the soul-destroying, automatically recharging, trap just outside the only toilet in the dungeon. Nor is the dig around the trap project going as planned.
49. Well, the entire thing was plastered with asbestos, in full accordance with previous building norms. Yes, I know a +2 to item saves vs fire is a good idea in an enclosed space, but you wanted a pool room...
50. The screamy phantom of dread is keeping everyone awake all night, everywhere in the dungeon. The last bunch of clerics gave up on trying to exorcise it earlier today.
51. Turns out "Dungeons of Horrible Dread, Fleshfester Swamp 1, 555-13, Fleshfester Swamp" has problems with mail delivery.
52. Kobold infestation. You never can find all of them (kobolds or the traps they set).
Oh, you'll find the traps. Right after you set them off. :P
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53. The dungeon bears a mighty chronomantic curse: You may purge the dungeon of its evils, move your furniture and followers in, and reengineer some of the architecture and ambient enchantments more to your liking, yes, but sooner or later you will want to leave, and when you come back, your furniture and followers are nowhere to be found, every slightest structural detail has returned to the way it was when you first ventured into it, and the monsters and even the BBEG you slew are all alive and well again - yes, they have brought back new treasures with them, but it seems a poor recompense for what seems your utter failure to have accomplished anything before...or even the second time...or the third....
Because good gods: It's an instance!
54.getting audited by an IRS* Auditor Devil
*Infernal Revenue Service
55. The Random Wandering Murderhobo chart is killer.
56. Local Monster's Union calls for a strike and all your minions join in.
57. Some Random Mad Wizard has already laid a claim to the dungeon.
58. The inlaws are coming to visit.
59. The Stench Cow migration route goes right through your dungeon. Yes wild Stench Cows smell even worse.
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60. OSHA inspectors fine you for not properly marking and putting yellow tape around the pit trap.
