Pathfinder jokes!

[customizing till the end]

So, the idea is simple. Post any pathfinder or rpg related jokes you have here. Try to avoid swearing. Off the top of my head:

Yo mamas so old, Chtulu calls her a great old one!

Wizards without spells- use their spell books as weapons.

"He who lives by the sword dies by the sword" so what do bards die of?

[Wolfsnap]

From Phil & Dixie waaaaay back when:

"I once had an encounter with an archer:
It was an arrowing experience.
But I'll spear you the details
unless you have any questions to axe.
One thing I always flailed to understand
was why he was such a sword loser."

[DM_Blake]

Stealth.

[Heretek]

Martials

[Vutava]

A joke I saw on another thread a while ago that made me laugh:

What do you call a PC that speaks three languages? Trilingual.

What do you call a PC that speaks two languages? Bilingual.

What do you call a PC that speaks one language? Taldan.

[AwesomenessDog]

People putting a jokes thread in an advice forum instead of a general discussion forum.

[customizing till the end]

Actually, I'm thinking of running a comedy campaign with my Players, where all the combat events are governed by a group of decadent individuals, who grant boons for entertaining them... but will not hesitate to drop you into a pit if they are bored.

[customizing till the end]

A paladin fights a city full of succubi with sorceress levels that specialise on charm spells. After a day of combat and moral tests, he walks to the local hospital, to tend to the wounded... Only to promptly fall from jaywalking.

[Rhedyn]

How many Fighters does it take to change a lightbulb?

One and wizard to cast fly on him because this a TEAM GAME. GO BACK TO MMOs!

bonus joke:

CRB rogues

[blackbloodtroll]

He thinks he is some kind of sniper, but he's just a Prone Shooter.

[Icyshadow]

Wizard + Cthulhu + Explosive Runes- *The rest of this joke has been mauled to death by angry Lovecraft fans*

[quibblemuch]

*cultist cracks knuckles*

"I'm here to put the 'us' in Groetus."

[Charon's Little Helper]

Yo' mama's so fat that folk think she's a bloatmage!

[Charon's Little Helper]

There's a party of a human, a half-orc, and a gnome. The first two walk into a bar; the gnome's glad he's small-sized.

[Torbyne]

Due to strict elven drinking laws most Half-Orcs cant order a drink until after they've already died of old age.

[Rub-Eta]

I had a comedian NPC a while ago and did some research, these are some of the better I found (to avoid anything tabu):

• A Dwarf walks out of a bar
• What do you call a Dwarf with a drinking problem? Sober.
• How many dwarfs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, one to hold the light bulb and one to drink till the rooms starts spinning.
• Why does Dwarfs have such big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

The rest where a bit unrelated to fantasy.

[Christopher Dudley]

quibblemuch wrote:

*cultist cracks knuckles*

"I'm here to put the 'us' in Groetus."

True story:

We met an evil wizard who animated his dead wife because he couldn't raise her himself. I said "Wow. He puts the romance in necromancer."

Eh. It's funnier in Common.