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The Very Sleepy Princess
Once upon a time, there was a king whose vast wealth made him the envy of all other realms. He protected his treasure by locking it away in a vault surrounded by magic flowers.
"Be warned," the king said to his daughter, the princess, "For those these flowers are beautiful to behold, their thorns are deadly. One little prick, and you shall fall into a deep sleep where the Lord of Nightmares will find you and gobble you up."
The princess refused to believe her father, and while playing near the vault one day, pricked her finger on a flower. Immediately, she fell into a deep sleep.
Then the Lord of Nightmare found her dreaming mind, gobbled it up, and used her dying body as a portal into the waking world. Once there, he killed everybody.
The End.
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*sniff* Beautiful, man. Beautiful.
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Here's one I'm reposting from my Ramblin' Man thread.....
The Winter Princess
Once upon a time, there was a young princess who found she had been gifted with wintery powers. She considered these powers a curse and, with the help of her parents, concealed their existence from everyone, including her own younger sister.
Then, tragically, her parents died in an horrific carraige accident, leaving her to face the world alone. She tried to keep her powers hidden, but ascending to the throne made this increasingly difficult. Her young sister tried to get her to opne up, to reinvigorate the bond they shared as children, but the now queent kept herself guarded.
Things finally came to a head at the coronation celebration, when the queen argued with her younger sister and accidently revealed her icy gifts.
Then came the real shock. The younger sister revealed her own, summer-based powers of heat and flame. She also revealed that it was she who caused their parent's accident, and that she was finally ready to make her move and seize the kingdom for herself.
The two sisters fought, unleashing the full might of their powers. Flames roared. Ice cracked. Everyone died.
The End.
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*sniffs, wipes a tear from an eye*
Beautiful.
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~shakes my head~ Aberombie, Aberzombie, Aberzombie. I am very dissapointed in you. Your stories are way too cheerful to be fairy tales. I expected better out of you, but this cheerfulness is depressing.
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The Kindly Dragon
Once upon a time, there was a very kindly dragon who loved all the world and tried to help people whenever he could.
He was killed by dragon hunters.
They made his scales into armor, bags, and furniture. They powdered his bones and sold it as a male potency enhancer. Then they bought a really cool castle with the gold from his horde, and spent the rest of their lives in glorious, drunken debauchery.
The end.
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The Kindly Dragon
Once upon a time, there was a very kindly dragon who loved all the world and tried to help people whenever he could.
He was killed by dragon hunters.
They made his scales into armor, bags, and furniture. They powdered his bones and sold it as a male potency enhancer. Then they bought a really cool castle with the gold from his horde, and spent the rest of their lives in glorious, drunken debauchery.
The end.
True story, my PC was in that adventuring party.
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These stories are pretty much like Disney's version compared to the Grimm's original.
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That last story wasn't Grimm. It was creepy. And the uncle George and his hand on my knee when I was five years old creepy.
Edit - Nothing like that really ever happened.
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Yes, damn that Disney and their kill everyone mentality. Don't they ever think of the children?!?
I did said it comparatively....IE the Real Grimm Fairy Tales were really sick and twisted. Much more so than yours.
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Yeah but they were longer than three paragraphs too.
Keep up the good work Aberzombie.
Ooo ooo, tell us the one about the sleeping princess who wasn't really sleeping.
Another awesome person who can appreciate my artistry. We pay no attention to the uncultured swine.
I shall give you a new story.....along those lines.
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The Sleeping Sorceress
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful gypsy princess who was also a powerful sorceress and champion of her people. Sadly, she was struck down by a powerful demon, afflicted with the Curse of the Ever Sleep. It was prophesied, however, that one day a daring and courageous gypsy warrior would battle his way through the demons minions and bestow upon her The Waking Kiss.
Sadly, before that could happen, the princess was discovered by a flock of hungry crows and eaten alive. When the gypsy warrior arrived and found her bones stripped of flesh, he was overwhelmed with sorrow and jumped off a cliff to his death.
The end.
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The Roguish Prince
Once upon a time, there was a handsome, yet roguish prince. He was a playful scoundrel and womanizer, but had a true heart of gold.
No, seriously, his heart was a magical gold construct. When a princess he had slept with once, then dumped, found out, she ambushed him and cut out the heart.
He died. She melted down the heart and had it re-forged into jewelry. Later on, she was robbed at knifepoint of her fancy jewelry. The thief stabbed her in the throat and she died.
The end.
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The Duck Princess
Once upon a time, there lived a young duck princess. Her father and mother, the King and Queen of all ducks, raised her to believe as long as she was kind and loving, then all the creatures of the world could be her friends, and that even the most fearsome looking were really kind at heart and just wanted someone to like them.
One day, while swimming in the river, the Duck Princess saw and animal she had never seen before, lying in the shore in the sun. It was long and green, with a wedge-like head and great, big tail. She swam over to the creature and asked, "What manner of beast are you? You look scary, but mother and father tell me you probably just need a friend."
"I'm an alligator," replied the creature, "and I love ducks." Then he ate her.
The end.
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The Unhappy Princess
Once upon a time, there was a very unhappy princess. She had been spoiled as a child, given everything she ever wanted. Her expectations of others became so high, she was never satisfied by anything they did for her, no matter how much effort and sacrifice it took.
The king and queen, at their wits' end, sought the advice of an old witch on how to help their daughter. The old witch gave them a glass vial full of a mysterious liquid, telling them to give it to their daughter at the next full moon, and all their troubles would be solved.
So, at the next full moon, the king and queen gave their princess the potion. It turned her into a rampaging beast. She killed everyone in the castle, then melted into a puddle of goo.
The end.
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The Runaway Prince
Once upon a time, there was a handsome and brave prince who grew unhappy with the rigors of life in the castle. So he plotted and planned, and when the prince was ready, he made a daring escape. Once out on the road, he set his mind on a life of adventure.
Sadly, he was discovered by some bandits. Realizing who he was, and blaming his father, the king, for the terrible conditions which forced them into banditry, they dismembered the prince and sent each piece back to his parents over the course of a month.
Later, the king's men captured all the bandits and had them disemboweled. Their rotting carcasses were hung along the castle walls as a warning to all others. This caused a revolt among the populace, and an enemy kingdom took advantage of the ensuing chaos to invade and kill everyone.
The End.
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Be Careful What You Wish For
A young street urchin discovered an old lamp. When he tried to clean it up, thinking it could be traded for some food, a genie popped out and offered him three wishes.
For his first wish, the boy wanted to be wealthy. And the genie made it so.
For his second wish, the boy wanted the love of a beautiful woman. And the genie made it so.
For his third wish, the boy wanted peace on Earth. So the genie killed all life in the universe, giving every living thing the peace of the grave.
The end.
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~claps~ Bravo! Encore! Encore!
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Yeah, I was too hung over this morning to put much effort into it. Story of my life the past few days.
That made it even grimmer.
P.S. - I hope your life improves.
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Yeah, I was too hung over this morning to put much effort into it. Story of my life the past few days.That made it even grimmer.
P.S. - I hope your life improves.
Naah, it's not that bad. Since I'm older, "too hung over" doesn't take much. So I have a beer or two while vegging in front of the TV, something I usually don't do during the week.
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The Very Capable Princess
Once upon a time, there was a very capable princess. She was smart, and funny, and kind. There was no problem she couldn't solve, even when all the grown-ups couldn't do it, if she just tried hard enough.
One day, an ancient and evil sorcerer was accidently freed from his prison and attacked the kingdom, determined to gain revenge for his imprisonment. The very capable princess knew that she was the only one who could stop him. It was up to her!
She failed. The sorcerer unleashed an army of evil demons from the depths of hell and had the entire kingdom killed.
The end.
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These are truly the modern epitome of storytelling. Please keep up the good work.
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The Sleeping Sorceress
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful gypsy princess who was also a powerful sorceress and champion of her people. Sadly, she was struck down by a powerful demon, afflicted with the Curse of the Ever Sleep. It was prophesied, however, that one day a daring and courageous gypsy warrior would battle his way through the demons minions and bestow upon her The Waking Kiss.
Sadly, before that could happen, the princess was discovered by a flock of hungry crows and eaten alive. When the gypsy warrior arrived and found her bones stripped of flesh, he was overwhelmed with sorrow and jumped off a cliff to his death.
The end.
Bowdlerization! You left out the part where the princess became reanimated as an Undead when the prince arrived!
That prince jumped off the cliff not just in sorrow, but in terror . . . .
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The Adventurous Princess
Once upon a time there was an adventurous princess. She loved going on adventures and solving everyone's problems. On one adventure, she was imprisoned in a magical amulet by an evil sorcerer. Eventually, she was set free, and then went on a great quest to defeat the sorcerer who had defeated her.
Sadly, she was actually no match for the evil sorcerer. Everything she tried to defeat him failed. Instead of imprisoning her again, the sorcerer just turned her and her friends to stone, then smashed the statues.
The end.
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The Princess and the Daring Dungeon Raid
Once upon a time, there was a princess who decided she wanted to be a daring adventurer. So she gathered a handful of friends and set out on a quest to explore the dreaded dungeon known as The Tomb of Ignominious Fate.
Unfortunately, she and her friends weren't nearly as capable as they considered themselves to be. They were completely unprepared for the horrors of the tomb. One by one, the princess and her friends were stalked and murdered in increasingly horrific (and ignominious) ways.
At last, only the princess remained. The lord of the tomb, a vampire, turned her into one of the undead, then sealed her away in a bricked-over alcove to slowly be driven mad by the thirst for blood. For all eternity....
The End.
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Boo!!! That was way too cheerful!
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The Dragon Prince
Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince who suddenly found himself cursed into the shape of a monstrous dragon. At first, he was dismayed, but then he thought if he could make everyone see how nice he was, they’d accept him for who he was.
Sadly, no one understood. His parents were horrified. The people of the kingdom were terrified. The knights of the kingdom were ecstatic they would finally prove their worth in glorious combat against a terrible monster. The dragon prince had no choice but to kill them all, gather their valuables into his horde, and settle down in the burnt-out shell of his now very crispy parent’s castle for a long sleep on his bed of gold and gems.
What the dragon did not know was that a single, young squire had survived his rampage. The lad escaped, vowing to return one day and exact justice.
The squire returned years later, now grown into a man and a hero of great renown. He had spent his exile fruitfully, making plans and gathering allies. First, his thief friend poisoned the Dragon Prince with a powerful, magical sleeping potion. Next, the hero and his warrior friends cut off the dragon’s legs, wings and tail, making sure to cauterize the wounds. Thirdly, they chained what was left of his body down, so the great lizard couldn’t move. The hero’s wizard friend then encased the dragon’s snout in a magical muzzle, so he could breathe, but not breathe fire, and not eat, but never die.
Finally, the hero woke the now crippled and imprisoned dragon. He then forced the dragon to watch as he either gave away parts of the horde, or used it to rebuild castle and kingdom, becoming king and living happily ever after.
The end.
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The Enchanted Castle
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young village girl who became lost in the woods during a terrible winter storm. Desperate to find shelter, she suddenly remembered tales of a mysterious castle deep in the woods. Supposedly, this castle labored under a magical curse, which preserved it and turned all it's inhabitants into animated objects like candlesticks and clocks.
Searching through the bitter cold forest, the young girl finally discovered the castle. And, what's more, there were lights within! She crossed the entry bridge, opened one of the great doors, and was great with warmth and light.
Unfortunately, the village girl was unaware of the actual history of the castle. It had, at one point been home to a just and noble lord. However, his family fell on hard times and he was forced to sell his ancestral home. It was purchased by the King, who then turned it into an asylum for the criminally insane.
As the enchanted furniture, plates, cups, and other items closed in around her, the smile fell away from the girl's face. As the animated knives began to cut her, she began to scream.
Those screams lasted for a long time....
The End.
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The Princess with the Magic Hair
Once upon a time, there was a princess born with magical hair. It was long and beautiful, and shown with a golden light when she was happy.
One day, however, the princess grew angry. Her hair turned black as pitch, went crazy, and killed everyone in the castle.
The end.
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The Princess Knight
Once upon a time, there was a princess who became a knight. She was given shining armor and a magical amulet that could form any weapon she could imagine. With these tools, she courageously defended her kingdom from the meanest ruffians and bandits for miles around.
Unfortunately, her magical tools did no good against a small horde of rampaging, fire-breathing dragons, accidently released from their long, mystical imprisonment by the Princess Knights wayward and foolish BFF. The dragons burned the entire kingdom and everyone in it to ash, then ate the ashes.
The end.
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Daat
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The Princess Who Helped Bring Happy Endings
Get your mind out of the gutter. It's not THAT kind of "happy ending".
Once upon a time, there was a young princess who was chosen to help other end their stories on a happy note. With her love, enthusiasm, and can-do attitude, she brought joy and a sense of fulfillment to many.
One day, the young princess learned of a dragon who was frightening people trying to cross through the mountains. She was certain this poor dragon was just misunderstood, and didn't really want to hurt anyone or take their stuff.
So, she went into the mountains, and into the cave of the dragon, where she found him - lying upon a vast bed of treasure, weeping and full of sorrow. Courageously, the young princess approached the dragon and asked him why he was so sad, when he had so much lovely treasure?
The dragon replied "Well, I'm sad because I haven't been able to get a good meal lately, and I was starving."
Then the dragon ate the princess. The end.
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Here's one I'm reposting from my Ramblin' Man thread.....
Then came the real shock. The younger sister revealed her own, summer-based powers of heat and flame. She also revealed that it was she who caused their parent's accident, and that she was finally ready to make her move and seize the kingdom for herself..The End.
This is basically what I envisioned Anna doing the whole movie
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"Still wanna build a snowman? TOO BAD!" *fwooooosh*
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Get your mind out of the gutter. It's not THAT kind of "happy ending".
You do realise that this just makes people think dirty things right?
As a side note: Is cans recognises alls theses storieses this's sads becauses it'ses proveses thatses that's ises doses nothingses withses myses lifeses
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"Still wanna build a snowman? TOO BAD!" *fwooooosh*
+1
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The Wishing Princess
Once upon a time, a young princess was given a gift by her kindly uncle. It was a beautiful jeweled lamp he had found in a far away land. One day, as the princess was admiring the lamp, she discoverd some very tiny writing engraved on the bottom. When she read the words, a genie emerged from the lamp and offered her three wishes.
Unfortunately, the princess forgot to word her wishes properly, and she brought doom on herself and her entire kingdom. The ones that didn't die, wished they had.
The end.