Norgorber’s Noose- grapple and choking rules fall into a very specific niche + memory based plot item is not a good recipe for votes.
Wizard's Staff mk2- better clearer, still too general for the competition, missing the cinematic element that gets people to fall in love with an item.
Healing Dagger- torture hits a button and a plot item, it doesn't quite ring with voters unless it's written particularly well baked
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Thank you Snorter for your feedback I really appreciate it!
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So taking the excellent advice I got I took a second pass at the wizard's staff and I think the presentation is a lot stronger.
** spoiler omitted **
I see some power level problems.
*You can add spells to a spell book before you can cast them. It isn't clear that you cannot cast them with the staff. Edit: I guess the cost and spell cap prevent it, but leaves it possible for the super rich.
*How do you recharge it? It looks like you either need a 0 level spell or a 9th level spell. Not sure.
*(unasked opinion)I would have it allow you to use your arcane bond ability again then deplete a number of charges equal to the level of the spell it casts with a spell lvl cap (or not). Making it an ability and not like a normal charge option would clear up some confusion.
*Also it is a total Swiss army knife.
I still like it though, defenetly a capstone item.
/I didn't have a runner up item this year but I did add then scrap initiative swapping. it didn't feel like I had the right words for it. Especially since I needed to clarify what happened if you moved up or down and if the other creature got to take their actions. I guess the ability for it to happen on or off your turn was the complicating problem.
GeneticDrift, here was my take on that idea. It didn't go anywhere, sadly (was mostly deemed to meta, though critique thread also made it clear that it wasn't visual enough): time's tide pendant
Looks like you actually commented on it at the time. :)
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GeneticDrift, here was my take on that idea. It didn't go anywhere, sadly (was mostly deemed to meta, though critique thread also made it clear that it wasn't visual enough): time's tide pendant
Looks like you actually commented on it at the time. :)
I think this year would be a better place for it. A sword or armor with this effect just seems more dynamic and less meta to me. Arg, I think I could have done it with a few more stress free days. Maybe a zen: one with your opponent theme, Locking blades in a cinematic fashion, or just flowing with the wind/water theme.
Never got it fully written up, but:
Staff of Temporal Disruption: cast slow and haste with 1 charge each, and once per day create a temporal disruption that let you select 1 creature per Int bonus to be hasted and 1 creature per Int bonus to be slowed; other creatures in range have a 50-50 shot each round to be hasted or slowed.
Then I went looking on d20pfsrd for any other spells to put in the staff and found a new spell from ACG that almost exactly duplicates the disruption ability.
Once again, those pesky Paizo authors stealing my ideas before I even have a chance to have them!
Feedback for GM_S
** spoiler omitted **
Lots of cool factor but figured it would get labeled a portal crossbow, it had some unclear text, and most damming I felt it too thematically similar to last year's submission from me Shadow Archer's Gage
** spoiler omitted **...
The arbelast is cool, but I can see where your concerns about it come from (although I am not sure being thematically similar to last years submission would be a problem in and of itself).
The chimera shield is cool as well, but as written is a bit over powered IMO although since you don't have a price listed that may have been taken into account in a way when it was finished.
While we're waiting for the voting to start, here is my "runner up" item...
Rod of Hounding Spells
Aura moderate evocation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 25,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
When held aloft, this stout metal rod imbues a caster's spells with a modicum of consciousness. Radiant tendrils spill from the rod, coalescing with the spell's magic and infusing it with awareness.
Spells cast by the wielder negotiate obstacles of their own accord, eagerly seeking out targets. Any spell cast with the burst area descriptor is instead treated as a spread effect and, when saving against a spell's effects, targets gain no benefit from any cover less than total cover.
In addition, the wielder may shape his spells to exclude areas within the spell's area of affect. In so doing, the caster designates a number of 5-foot squares up to the caster's Intelligence, Wisdom or Charisma modifier (whichever is greater). The magic twists away from these designated areas, leaving them unaffected by the spell.
When not used to augment spells, this rod strikes as a +2 defending club.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, Selective Spell, arcane concordance; Cost 12,500 gp
I like it. Not crazy about the name, but the item itself is compelling. Too inexpensive for the power it provides, I think.
I like the Rod of Hounding Spells, though like Jeff Lee I don't like the name, especially when it doesn't convey everything the rod does.
I also like GM_Solspiral's two items - the Arbalest and the Chimera Shield, and Garrick Williams/Cyrad's Ghost Javelin of Chains.
All three of them may not be the best mechanically, or if they are, too game able for their respective authors, but I like the visuals and creativity evinced. Nice work folks.
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** spoiler omitted **
The axe is more Celtic than Norse, which would make it Kellid .. huh .. I probably should have noticed that before. I didn't disguise the Slainé ripoff much. Also I should know very well that augurs watch birds and thunderstorms while haruspices kill things to look at their insides.
Name: Alchemist’s Needle
Aura faint transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 18,302 gp (+1), 24,302 gp (+2), 34,302 gp (+3), 48,302 (+4), 66,302 gp (+5); Weight –
Description
This masterwork kerambit performs as a normal magical weapon in accordance with its enhancement bonus. On the blade there is a small engraving of a skull that holds exactly one dose of poison. As a swift action the skull can be filled and the poison absorbed into the blade. The wielder is able to take a -1 penalty on all melee attack rolls, up to the enhancement bonus, to gain a +2 to the DC of the poison per penalty point taken. All poisons applied with the Alchemist’s Needle operate as if under the Accelerate Poison spell.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Poison Focus, accelerate poison, creator's caster level must be at least three times that of the enhancement bonus placed on the weapon; Cost 9,151 gp (+1), 12,151 gp (+2), 17,151 gp (+3), 24,151 gp (+4), 33,151 gp (+5)
Ultimately went with something else, but this was my first idea and my first year entering the ckntest
I was too late to enter this year, but from the campaign I am currently running
Staff of Forseeing (Lore)
Aura strong divination; CL 14th
Slot none; Price 29,600 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This polished wooden staff is adorned with stylised eyes and mystical symbols. When held and used by an Oracle it increases their effective level for the revelation of a divine mystery by 2, the final revelation however still requires the Oracle to be level 20. The staff allows the use of the following spells:
Legend lore (1 charge)
Contact other plane (1 charge)
Vision (2 charges)
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff; Legend lore, Contact other plane, Vision; Cost 14,800 gp
Naturally there is one for every Oracle Mystery, and the price is totally made up.
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Here was my alternate item:
Calistrian Wasp Staff
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot none; Price ZZ gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This staff is crafted from wasp paste, then laminated in alternating strips of yellow and black wood, and finally topped with a wasp trapped in amber. Spells cast from within the staff are altered to be more pleasing to worshippers of Calistria. It allows use of the following spells:
- Mudball (4 charges): The mudball created is made from wasp paste instead of mud.
- Barkskin (3 charges): The natural armor increase of this spell is a wasp colored chitinous exoskelton.
- Fly (2 charges): The target of this spell gains illusionary wasp wings.
- Giant vermin (1 charge): Allows any targeted vermin to be transmuted into a number of wasps using the scorpion entry under the spell description.
The bearer of the staff gains the vermin empathy ability of a mite to communicate with wasps only, treating the wasps as if they have an Intelligence of 1.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, fly, giant vermin, mudball; Cost ZZ gp
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Then I went looking on d20pfsrd for any other spells to put in the staff and found a new spell from ACG that almost exactly duplicates the disruption ability.
Once again, those pesky Paizo authors stealing my ideas before I even have a chance to have them!
That's why I'll be very reluctant to vote anyone down, on the grounds of 'That's a spellinacan wondrous item!', especially if the spell in question is from a later rulebook, or campaign-specific source.
There'll be a lot of earlier Superstar items with unique, off the wall abilities, which would retroactively be designated SIAK, because of a spell that didn't even exist when they were first submitted.
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Once voting starts I'm done with this thread as the focus should shift to the items we all actually submitted. Thank you to those that are also giving feedback. I came really close to doing the Chimera's Face shield because I think sword and board could use some love, ultimately I was concerned that it was getting to an OP level and in order to not make it SAK or OP I would have had to kill all the stuff that made it cool. It will be an artifact in my game world.
Rod of Hounding Spells- Cool that it lets you shape spells but the +2 defending club bit feels tacked on. Stick to the core mechanic.
Alchemist’s Needle- Really neat but it feels like a wondrous item convert. I especially like the -1 to attack for more DC on the poison save that was a really great design choice, though a limit might be a good idea as truestrike is a spell that exists.
Staff of Forseeing- I love that this effects oracles and that's where I'd have had you focus if I were in your pit crew. It's a pretty nifty staff but it doesn't have that superstar spark. It's not far from it because it has more flavor than most.
Calistrian Wasp Staff- I love this item so much I could cover myself in wasp paste and roll in it. I seriously hope your other item is this cool or cooler. I'd upvote te crap out of this thing and it's because you managed to make a staff that does something unexpected. kudos.
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Post coffee feedback:Calistrian Wasp Staff- I love this item so much I could cover myself in wasp paste and roll in it. I seriously hope your other item is this cool or cooler. I'd upvote te crap out of this thing and it's because you managed to make a staff that does something unexpected. kudos.
You sir, are now making me regret my submission...
The wasp staff is pretty cool. It's so specific though...without knowing your other item, I think it was a good decision.
It's either a great item for an NPC or a player character that is built around some wasp concept. If it's something that would come along in a pile of treasure then it would probably be sold off by the PCs.
Solspiral, thank you for the feedback! I actually love receiving feedback and criticism, I think it's a masochistic side effect of art school...anyway I didn't get to fine time the text as I worked in the item I ended up submitting but the -1 for poison DC would only be allowable up to the enhancement bonus you purchased the weapon at. So +3 bonus could go no higher than +6 DC for a -3 to hit. Sacking the magic bonus for DC essentially.
Originally I was going to do -1 To hit and Dmg for +2 DC but I wasn't sure if poison worked with 0 weapon damage and a kerambit isn't exactly a heavy hitter.
Thanks again and happy voting in 7 hours!
Description
This staff is crafted from wasp paste,
What is wasp paste?
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What is wasp paste?Description
This staff is crafted from wasp paste,
Wasps strip untreated dead wood from fence panels or garden furniture and sheds which is converted into a paste that the wasps use to construct their nest. I didn't know what it was until I started creating the item either.
feedback for my item, Relic Rod of the Martyr
Thank you again for the critique. The relic rod wasn't in final form or polished, that was just first full draft with formatting, etc.
That said, yeah -- too much backstory I know and I too knew the last ability felt shoehorned, it was a holdover from original design that hadn't been dealt with.
Displacing Arbalest
I'm guessing some other people have pointed out minor topical/formatting errors, like not italicizing spell names and what kind of magic item it is. Guessing it wasn't a final copy.
The basic description leaves it unclear where the large circular piece is, but from its use I'm assuming on the top along the sight line? Would it interfere with normal use without the scry effect?
Any reason its darkwood? Doesn't seem to specifically add to the design, and in practical sense, you want a heavy crossbow to have some weight to reduce recoil I believe from the steel bow.
I might also have dropped phase locking, at +2, it pushes your item up in cost for an interesting but non-essential to the design effect.
How often can I use the scrying effect? And you could have probably gotten away with just the clairvoyance spell considering extreme limit to your range (why 40 feet even? it means this isn't useful for say a sniper or assassin whom might really like some of its abilities).
While I would have stuck with the dimension door spell in the Requirements, I wouldn't have used the term in the description, instead just explaining how it works mechanically to circumvent all those things you describe it doing.
You didn't include scrying or a similar spell in the Requirements.
Overall: I like the idea, and I'm guessing this isn't its final form, but I agree that people would see it as Portal: Crossbow edition, though that's not terrible (may even get an extra upvote). With a little work I could see it easily in an equipment book
Chimera's Face
The basic idea, a shield embossed with the image of a chimera and able to alter form between Lion/Dragon/Ram is a really neat idea, which I could see as Superstar-potential if it were well done.
Your current design for it is lacking. Lion = preexisting shield but better! Also, that effect and the bonus effect (gaining pounce) don't seem to go together, or does the lion-projection thing get the pounce ability??? not superstar; Dragon = Obvious choice, and not bad but also not superstar; The Paizo chimera uses a Goat, not a Ram (name for a male sheep), and is the most interesting one, even though its also not superstar.
The core concept though, the embossed shield, is still solid, but the start of your design (clearly unfinished) leaves a lot to be desired.
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Those were first drafts like I'm sure many of these are. Chimera's Face could have been cool... a week just wasn't long enough to make that just right. I'm much happier with my actual item.
The Displacing Arbalest is an excellent example of over-thinking something. Back in 2nd Ed I had a psionic character that used a crossbow and dimension door to deliver sneak attacks by opening the door behind foes. I was trying to capture the essence of that in an item but was worried people would associate it with Portal (which I have actually never played.) So I tried to shoehorn in a silent image effect that would "displace" the archer... Ultimately that strangled the idea in it's crib.
The last idea I abandoned was a "Monkey's Kusarigama", which would have used the chain weapon as an acrobatic and climbing aid. I thought it could be very cinematic, but in the end I realized it was more of a Wondrous Item and no one would use it for its weapon properties.
Other runner-up ideas were a hammer that could turn an opponent to glass, and something like a Styx boatsman's oar / staff based around memory loss spells.
Wizard’s Staff
First, I have to agree with you on the name, Wizard's Staff is about as generic as you can get. :) This is where you make your first impression on the reader, don't waste the opportunity to hook them.
After that, your opening starts a bit weak. Instead of saying "If a wizard", say "When a wizard" and continue with an active voice from there on. Later on, you repeat yourself regarding the bonding of this staff - combine these lines. Honestly, it doesn't really grow in interest from there either; so, everyone gets to cast more spells... Who wouldn't want that? But does it show off your creativity? I don't think so.
Lastly, you put the limitation of needing to have the spell normally available already, but since this only applies to 3 zero level spells, why bother with this pseudo-restriction?
Frankly, you were wise to leave this one on the drawing board. Fingers crossed your submission is head and shoulders above this one.
Mindswept Arrow
I kind of like where this was heading, but there are a couple of places that give me pause...
The name is past tense, as if the sweeping happened to the arrow, not that the arrow will do the sweeping. I can see why you would want to avoid calling it a Mindsweeping Arrow though!
I found the opening line to be clever, you almost didn't need the second half though.
Why a command word? Just fire the thing. Then you can also avoid the awkward phrase of wielding an arrow.
The main power of this item is neat and a real headache at the same time. As written there is too much open to interpretation. See if you can instead tie a spell (confusion) or a condition (dazed) to the effect. In a home game I might be willing to wrestle and argue with a player, but at an event, this item would frustrate one or more of us.
Don't let ammunition be recovered. It feels like a cheat. Price it right and then let the players make the hard choice of using it or not.
Bottom line, some good stuff with room for improvements. Looking forward to seeing your submission.
Axe of Auguries
The imagery of this item is nice, but the item itself is a bunch of existing abilities tacked on to one another. Then the addition is the inclusion of a divination spell, one that most people hate. The GM has to come up with something on the spot or make it so generic that the players are disappointed.
You should also watch out for run on sentences. +1 for using "runnels" though, an excellent word, used well.
The last idea I abandoned was a "Monkey's Kusarigama", which would have used the chain weapon as an acrobatic and climbing aid.
Is it wrong that the first thing I thought of when you said "Monkey's Kusarigama" was a monkey with a really long tail, and the user whirls the little terror around and whips it at foes? Maybe even add in some kind of sonic or fear effect (howler monkey version). :D
Other runner-up ideas were a hammer that could turn an opponent to glass, and something like a Styx boatsman's oar / staff based around memory loss spells.
An Oar of Lethe is actually a pretty cool idea. Works like a quarterstaff, looks like an oar, enhanced only on the paddle end, in addition to the enhancement bonus also does memory modification/erasure.
I also brainstormed a bow, Cayden's Grin. Maybe it's better than my actual submission.
Cayden’s Grin
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 6,200 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
The wielder of this +1 Composite (+3) Longbow is totally cool to shoot, no matter how wasted he is. Seriously, give him his arrows back.
The wielder treats penalties from the sickened condition as bonuses, and can take attack actions with Cayden's Grin as if he weren't nauseated.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Remove Sickness; Cost 3,450 gp
I've replaced the actual description with a joke one, but I'm still pretty fond of it.
** spoiler omitted **
Lots of cool factor but figured it would get labeled a portal crossbow, it had some unclear text, and most damming I felt it too thematically similar to last year's submission from me Shadow Archer's Gage
** spoiler omitted **...
The Chimera's Face has a doppelganger floating around in the voting pool. Different mechanics, but same basic idea.
The Chimera's Face has a doppelganger floating around in the voting pool. Different mechanics, but same basic idea.** spoiler omitted **
Lots of cool factor but figured it would get labeled a portal crossbow, it had some unclear text, and most damming I felt it too thematically similar to last year's submission from me Shadow Archer's Gage
** spoiler omitted **...
I saw it, similar to what the end product would have been but I would have been a little less restrained. Glad I didn't do it and I wish the doppelganger luck.
The crossbow would have fallen into one of this year's tropes. I'm glad for what I went with