243 words!
Tnenopmoc Lleps
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 750 gp; Weight 0.5 lb.
Description
A gnarled piece of wood, its growth stunted and twisted by being planted in soil where high concentrations of magic are present, subverts the eye when looking upon it. Light seems to stop and whirl around it and it is cool to the touch yet steams in the air.
When added to the spell components used in any spell with a descriptor or elemental type, that spell can be cast with the opposite element or descriptor. Adding the tnenopmoc lleps is a move action if it is kept separate from the normal spell component pouch. If it is kept with the rest of the spell components it is a swift action to use, but there is a 10% chance that the caster will pull it out and reverse the descriptor or element of the current spell being cast. This chance can be negated with a concentration check of DC 10 + spell level. If the concentration check is failed the spell is not cast and is lost as normal.
The tnenopmoc lleps cannot be destroyed by any magic less than its caster level. It has hardness 5 and 10 hp. If dispel magic is cast on it then it is a normal piece of wood for 1 minute, after which it regains its normal properties.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, make whole; Cost 375 gp
Leaving for vacation soon, so this may be a bit rushed:
Your lead description has some good and some bad. I like words like gnarled, but saying why its growth is stunted and twisted is sort of back story. What if I want to make this as an item crafter but I don't have some spot where high concentrations of magic are present? In the second sentence, you've got a good verb with light seeming to stop and whirl, but then you revert to saying "it is," which is not good verb choice.
It's an interesting basic power, so that's good.
I'm a little undecided on the method of using it -- it's interesting but it feels like that's where the real innovation of the item is, even though that feels almost more mechanical than magical.
It also seems odd that it apparently isn't consumed in the casting, since I generally think of components as being used up. I might make it a consumable.
The can't be destroyed by magic less than its caster level is also odd. Does that mean the caster level must be less or the spell level must be less? And, why? It's a piece of wood, so shouldn't a burning hands spell have some effect?
And, lastly ... the name. Um, what? I see where you're going but I wouldn't know how to pronounce that, and writing it on my sheet would be a pain -- I'd have to keep stopping and thinking about how to spell it.
I had a draft explicitly saying it was consumed,but I cut it because I battled with myself and eventually said that I shouldn't explicitly state it. I have a revision in mind already...one that cuts out that cursed "it is".
I was trying to tie the theme of a piece of wood infused with magic at creation so that it isn't easily destroyed by magic. Hmm, maybe I need to figure out a better way to describe it.
I was gambling on the name. Its odd but I kind of liked it...I am open to suggestions!
Lastly, thanks for the review and have a good vacation!!
I was gambling on the name. Its odd but I kind of liked it...I am open to suggestions!
Lastly, thanks for the review and have a good vacation!!
I have been wondering whether to feedback or not on this bit as it was the bit that hit me right in the eyes and cause me to go "oh no you didn't, oh yes you did", "Spell Component" spelled backwards - this naming is kind of urgh / meme in my mind and did turn me off.
Maybe for inspiration, use what it does, something like
Spellweave Invertor
Magic Antipathic Stick
Don't forget, that after six years, I still wear the "King of Bad Names" crown, but hopefully they convey what I am eluding to.
The rest of the item, my thoughts pretty much align with Jacobs, so I don't think I can add much more - but yeah, that name is very love/hate and in open voting, that might not be such a good idea.
Thanks Anthony! If you are the King...does that make me the court jester for this name? :)
And before anyone says it...yes, I took some inspiration from the Reverse Wood from Piers Anthony's Xanth novels. Although the name IS perfect for my uses, I didn't want to use that name for obvious reasons.
The name is actually called out in one of SKRs advice. While it is fine here, for RPGSS Paizo wants to be able to promote the winner(s) and doing so with a made up name is difficult. While it is not your favorite copyrighted character, such a name is still considered as the author 'being cute' which is hit or miss that a judge (customer) will agree.
*first sentence runs on.
**Why alter self and make whole? How does this translate into fire/water/acid/cold?
***Does the component change the descriptor if you add it or is it only 10% likely to change it? If you apply it to say a fireball it does cold damage if I roll a 09% did I just reverse my coldball back into a fireball?
love the wood that is infused with magic. :)
Like Curaigh, I've been working on a project, though I'm getting close to done. I was trying to come up with a Father's Day item, but didn't ever find something worth taking the time to put fingers to keyboard.
Cravat of Grandeur
Aura faint enchantment and transmutation; CL 4thSlot Neck; Price 7,500 gp; Weight --
Description
Silk threads of blue, green, and gold grant flair and authority to the wearer. Once worn the wearer’s crest forms at one end and a dramatic score plays in the head of any observers.
Once per day the cravat activates to grant the wearer powers of heroism. As a free action the wearer chooses damage reduction 2/-, flight 30”, or a +4 enhancement bonus to strength. The power lasts for 1d4 rounds. When donning the cravat the wearer makes a knowledge (nobility) check. For every 5 points the wearer beats a DC 20, the power lasts one additional round (maximum of +4 rounds).
All allies who witness the wearer using a heroic power gain a +2 moral bonus to saving throws versus charm and fear and a +2 competence bonus on attack and damage rolls. These bonuses remain for 6 rounds.
Until the power is activated the user gains a +4 enhancement bonus to all charisma based skills for the day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, eagle’s splendor, heroism, levitate age 9; Cost 3,750 gp
! Blasted run-ons.
alter self and make whole I was actually expecting this to be the next biggest point of contention next to the name. I needed something that transmutes, and alter self made sense when I thought of it being used as a component as it would be altering self on the spell descriptor or element. I included make whole because altering the spell at a fundamental level should destabilize it somewhat...and making it whole just made sense...to me...and probably not to the reader.
The 10% only comes into play if you don't keep it in a separate place from your spell components. It is supposed to represent you accidentally pulling it out while in battle (where the concentration check comes into play).
Thanks for the feedback!
Need to digest your post Curaigh, after my RL session tonight then will have feedback for yours.
Ok!
Cravat of Grandeur
Name - I like the words Cravat and Grandeur. I'm just firmly not a fan of "of".
I like the choice of "grant" as a verb, very active sounding. But, and I am unsure of this, is it "grant" or "grants"?
What if I don't have a crest? Ronin style!
I know it's fluff, but with a dramatic score playing in people's heads I would expect some sort of magic mouth or illusionary sound spell in the construction requirements.
" to the wearer. Once worn the wearer’s" It's tough to find words to impart what needs to be said...but that's three variations on wear in 5 words.
"Once per day the cravat activates to grant the wearer powers of heroism." I don't think you need the activates part. Just say "Once per day the cravat grants the wearer powers of heroism."
Hmm. I'm not feeling the DR 2/- or strength bonus...something just...feels disparate about them all together.
On 2nd (and 3rd and 4th) thought, I actually do like the nobility check to increase the length of duration. But in that case, shouldn't the cravat be a single crest, not variate? Because then it would make sense that a PC has to make that check to identify what it is.
Now the powers are really tacking on.
Construction Requirements age 9? Should there be a comma between levitate and age 9? Does that mean that the constructor HAS to be 9 years old? Or older?
Overall - I like the item...I do. But it starts to feel like a SAK by the time you get to the 3rd paragraph. I think the thing I dislike the most about this is that it negates some class skills of the Bard or Cavalier.
age nine (the whole item, truth be told :) is a tongue-in-cheek response to Jacob's Father's day special quote. (yes it should have comma...) Since I say Man of Steel for Father's day, the two came together.
Bit of a shocker this, but bear with me. My next few posts will likely be template less. O-O
I need to focus on that middle bit. I am struggling with passive, and need to streamline my excessive verbosity. Everyone knows I can do template, as do I, so I must focus where focus is best in the run up to December.
So for the next few items I practice, I am going really old school - my descriptions will be as close to 160 words as possible. That's right, I am self imposing the original 200 word limit on the whole item. I am not an English Major (or even Minor for that matter), I tend to either write technical or how we speak where I live - neither of which are the best style for a games designer.
This is so going to hurt, but I think it must be done.
OK
Dimensional Albumin
This semi translucent ovoid contains a viscus fluorescent green albumin and no yolk.
As a standard action that does not provoke, crushing the egg in your hand releases the albumin which spreads rapidly and thinly over your entire body. On the next round, your dimensionality is altered allowing you to pour yourself through grills and pipes, or flatten yourself to slip through cracks, or under doors. Your speed reduces to one quarter during this movement.
Moving in this manner removes the coating on completion of the negotiation of the crack, pipe, etc., being traversed. This dimensionality lasts for up to 1d3 rounds. At expiry, either by duration or through use, you immediately revert to normal dimensionality. If you are still inside a pipe or wall or under a door, etc., you immediately reform at your entry point unharmed (this is also what happens if you are affected by magic countering effects).
(154 words including title) - First draft.
Spells, I was thinking alter self (lvl 2) and grease (lvl 1) which would be a CL 3 item. And yes, I think a definite consumable.
I think this one would likely come in around the 200-300 gold per egg bracket is my gut instinct.
Things I consciously omitted to cut my verbosity...
Fragility of the item - it's an egg!
What lay's the egg - backstory - urgh.
Size of egg - well, its an egg and you can crush it in one hand, 'nuff said I thought.
A min/max distance - the duration and the player speed determines this already.
*Name is a problem, but not for the usual reasons :)
Dimension (and by extension dimensional) in the game already means something and it is not heightxwidthxlength. As this is a move enabling device dimension door as 'hopping from one place to another' is repeated in my mind. YMMV.
I had to look up albumin, which might be a intended to albumen. -in is biochemistry and I would argue not appropriate for RPGSS. -en is still obscure at least in my part of the world. I got the picture when 'no yolk' was explained, but dinnae think I knew the word already. This can work for and against one, so just tread carefully.
**I like the effect and grease seems appropriate. Swarmskin comes to mind, but it leaves your bones behind. Is there an ooze version? Hopefully. 1d3 rounds seems slow, but maybe that depends on what the speed of the egg-jelly-user is when covered in egg-jelly. Is it their normal move? faster? slower? can it climb. hmmm... face melt is a term in some MMOs, is there a spell equavilant in the worlds oldest RPG?
***I forget if SKR was trying to get rid of 'you' or switch everything to 'you'. Either way for the time being, items use 'weilder, user, wearer,' etc..
Nice job. Let's see some more folks! :)
Ramble Ramble Ramble. Do I ramble too much?
yeah, dimensional is my techie side still trying to creep in - argh!
Weirdly, my spell checker didnt pick up the spelling, hmm, and I so wanted to void "egg white" because it's green in this case >.<
I mostly remember swarmskin because I used it in the corset thread I got rightly called out for swarm, when it was supposed to be compression. I just reread that thread (much of it anyway). I think it is cool that the last two posters in that thread now have RPGSS Top X, in their name :).
Same complaints about name and dimensional things as Curaigh. Albumen was the first thing I thought.
The biggest complaint I have is the technicalness of the writing. While I appreciate it, it does make it sound like you sat with a thesaurus and intentionally looked for lesser known replacement words. It's a harsh line, not repeating yourself and looking like you tried too hard.
I also like the effect and grease and alter self seem apropos.
Hmm, is there another way to list the different openings you can fit through? I'm not really a fan of the etc. list in this context.
Other than that...I like it.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
,
Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
|
I mostly remember swarmskin because I used it in the corset thread I got rightly called out for swarm, when it was supposed to be compression. I just reread that thread (much of it anyway). I think it is cool that the last two posters in that thread now have RPGSS Top X, in their name :).
Egads! That was one of my earlier attempts at an item. 2011 was my first time entering RPGSS and that corset was only the 4th or 5th item I had ever fully wrote out. I like to think my skills at item creation have improved since then...
For your critique/consideration:
Manual of Advanced Animal Husbandry
Aura strong evocation, moderate alteration; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 55,000 gp; Weight 8 lbs.
Description
Written by a group of renowned druids and rangers and enchanted by elvish wizards, these tomes are difficult to come by. There are two ways to use the manual.
First the manual may be used to add the advanced template to one animal. The other choice is to use the manual to ensure a stronger line of animals by breeding two animals and following the nutritional guidelines each animal born of that mating will be endowed with a +2 bonus to strength and dexterity and a +4 bonus to constitution.
Once the book is read and the advice used the magic disappears and the book merely becomes an excellent source book on the handle animal skill.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, owl’s wisdom and wish or miracle, must consult at least 3 authors with 10 or more ranks in handle animal.
Its also in the comments on this week's Old Hat Monster series. I'm actually considering making a mini item compendium for animal centered items so aside from the usual critique let my know if the idea is interesting as I have the contacts to shop it.
@ Anthony,
It's my favorite item concept from you thus far. To avoid the what lays it it could be an alchemical item and the egg is the delivery system (ninja's use that trick all the time.) I like that the item is inexpensive and a consumable. Given the movement rate restriction and the very short duration I'd consider making a lesser, normal and greater version at different price points with break points on both movement speed and duration.
|
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
,
Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
|
Manual of Advanced Animal Husbandry
Its also in the comments on this week's Old Hat Monster series. I'm actually considering making a mini item compendium for animal centered items so aside from the usual critique let my know if the idea is interesting as I have the contacts to shop it.
I saw that Kobold thread. Magic items for companions are usually alot of fun.
My one question falls into the intelligent animal conundrum. If it gains the advanced template from a magic item, including the increased Int, is it now a magical beast? The big problem I see is action economy. Since the items does not list an amount of time to give the benefits, it would use a standard action to activate. While the three authors is a bit odd, I like it. Too bad the spent book does not give a skill bonus to animal training...
@Thomas
-For 55k its a permanent effect, basically gives a +2 bonus to all stats which is good but not game breaking. That should be clarified in the text, I will rework it. Yes that would make it a magical beast, but an animal companion already is if used on one.
As to it giving a skill bonus, it would count as a masterwork tool for just such a purpose. Needs soem edits.
Manual of Advanced Animal Husbandry
* What do I see when I move the pile of platinum from the dragon's hoard? on a related note, too much backstory.
**What is the time to use either effect? the one is probably a week like the various attribute tomes, but the other? 6 weeks (rabbits) 18 months (elephant) a week?***Monster in a can. Well, actually template in a can.
****agreed on the 3 authors, but the skill rank min is good. Also I think you mean transmutation?
I think this would work for a 3PP, & I think there is a demand for AC items. I seem to make quite a few (including the cerberus collar :). One that I have been hoarding since year three, should make it to the blazing 9 this time, because I always think there is something better, but it stays on my list. :)
@ Curaigh
Yeah I wouldn't submit something like this for the contest, I'm actually going to do a whole series of these and shop it.
Rough draft for comments section at Kobold press, still open to critique, is this a cool concept?
Bursting Spurs
Aura moderate Adjuration; CL 9th
Slot feet; Price 25,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
Bursting spurs provide localized 5 ft healing bursts when a command word s spoken and they both come into contact with flesh. The spurs also remove any fear or fatigue effect on the creature spurred. The healing works as detailed in the chart below the rider must select the number of times per day they wish to use the effects of the spurs at the start of the day.
Burst Healing
5D6 1 a day
3D6 3 a day
2D6 5 a day
1D6 10 a day
Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, The ability to channel a 5D6 burst, calm emotions, surmount affliction; Cost 12,500 gp
Manual of Advanced Animal Husbandry
...Written by a group of renowned druids and rangers and enchanted by elvish wizards, these tomes are difficult to come by...
If this was old style Round 1, Template Fu would hit you over the head with the backstory auto reject hammer - multiple times, probably until he thought he had killed every backstory thought in there.
You might get away with this kind of opening in the open part of round 1, BUT you STILL have to get passed the judges.
And that, as they say, is the rub, and why I thought it best to mention.
As a player/gm, I don't care how it was made or by whom, I want to know what it looks like...
This hefty tome, covered in the muck and mire of stables and animal pens, bears a cover of stitched animal hide containing pages made from stretched, cured and dried animal gut.
That was off the cuff and likely full of my awfulness, but hopefully illustrates the line you should have taken.
Everything else has been pointed out, so I wont belabor that - this too may have been pointed out ( I'm in thread catch up mode ;) ), but I felt strongly enough to show how important I feel this lead in is.
Hope it helps.
Bursting Spurs
...
The spurs also remove any fear or fatigue effect on the creature spurred. The healing works as detailed in the chart below the rider must select the number of times per day they wish to use the effects of the spurs at the start of the day.Burst Healing
5D6 1 a day
3D6 3 a day
2D6 5 a day
1D6 10 a day
Ok, activation is kind of interesting, but start of the day... midnight, sunrise, 8am? What happens if you are riding at the time that the choice moment arises?
You also need to think about the removal of fear/fatigue.
Is it just for that failed check that started fatigue or is the creature fully refreshed. If the latter, as a player who can sometimes work the numbers, I would choose 10 a day and ride my horse to oblivion knowing that after a few miles, when it becomes fatugued, I just stick the spurs and away we go for a few more miles... 10 times a day is like 20 miles with no horsey problems :)
Wow, you guys were active while I was off on vacation! There are going to be quick thoughts while I catch up:
The dimensional albumin -- I think I'd prefer just saying egg. I was a bit baffled by some of the terms, I have to admit, though I like the idea of a magic egg, I think. I think I'd look at 2012's flatman item (blanking on its name) for some of the game terminology. It seemed very similar.
As far as the manual, I think others have hit on some valid criticisms. Mostly it just seems a bit dull to me. Why wouldn't I want this if I had an animal companion? I suppose that means it could be a good item for a book/blog of magic items, but just didn't feel very Superstar (of course, if something feels too Superstar, you're not going to want to post it here, so perhaps you already know all that -- I'm a bit loopy after driving all day).
Bursting spurs
The bursting spurs is the one I'm actually most prompted to post by. My first thought was it was an odd item in terms of mechanics, but the idea really grew on me. I like the idea of having to decide do I want one big heal or more smaller ones that will take me longer to use. That's a cool concept, I think, that forces me to make some choices.
As for timing, maybe you have to decide the first time it's put on an animal each day, with any charges disappearing overnight? (Or at dawn for nocturnal animals?)
I'm torn on the price. On one hand, it feels right, on the other, we're probably talking about an item I wouldn't get until I was at least 10th level, in which case, it'd probably be easier to just get a wand of cure light or other way to heal. Not sure here, but I think I might halve that price (though I could also be talked out of it).
You do have a lot of template issues. I know it's just practice, but I'd practice getting it right now so it comes naturally when you want to do it for real. Your aura should be lowercase, and adjuration isn't a type of magic; If the weight is 1 lb. it doesn't need to be plural; "Ft" should be spelled out; I think doing 1 a day is odd -- game terms would probably be once per day; you mis-spelled Wondrous; I don't think you should capitalize "The ability to channel..." and I'd want to look through UE to see if that's the right way to present that type of information since it seems like a slightly odd phrasing (though it could be fine).
On template criticisms, its a weakness of mine... I need to shore up. Yeah none of this is intended for the contest. Its 1 part practice, 1 part working on making some new items for various projects.
Dang...everyone beat me to the punches!
I don't really have anything to add to the Spurs...other than this:
I thought it was odd using spurs as the object or bursting in the name. I get it now...but I still don't quite like it as burst is a weapon quality, so I actually was confused while reading it initially because I was thinking "wait...a healing burst?! That just doesn't make sense!!" I get the name now with the requirement of needing to channel a burst...but I still don't quite like the name as I think it would offput a LOT of people when they are used to seeing burst with a corrosive or flaming weapon.
But that could honestly be just me.
Rough draft for comments section at Kobold press, still open to critique, is this a cool concept?
Bursting Spurs
*abjuration? or conjuration as it is a healing spell.
**burst is a game term and this only affects a single creature.***what action is it to spur? part of a ride check? move action,
I like the choice option at the first of the day, & I like that it removes conditions as well as healing. There is a came term for this as well: mercy. Of course a paladin can already do this so you are removing one of their abilities, or-since a pali is likely to have a mount-supplementing an existing ability.
Still, this is some good work :)
Rough draft for comments section at Kobold press, still open to critique, is this a cool concept?
Bursting Spurs
*abjuration? or conjuration as it is a healing spell.
**burst is a game term and this only affects a single creature.
***what action is it to spur? part of a ride check? move action,I like the choice option at the first of the day, & I like that it removes conditions as well as healing. There is a came term for this as well: mercy. Of course a paladin can already do this so you are removing one of their abilities, or-since a pali is likely to have a mount-supplementing an existing ability.
Still, this is some good work :)
Curaigh, as always, makes a very good point - this may be getting close to that advice of Sean's to not give away or replicate class abilities. I don't think this is so close on this item, but is very much something to be aware of.
Good news is I got a bite on my pitch
Nice! can you say where?
Congrats!!!
Nice one - make it shine and your bite may become a series of meals :)
Whilst I'm here, I am in the process of typing up an encounter for the next Wayfinder and need a few reviewers/playtesters - PM me if you are interested (quoting a gmail account - they are free - so I can add you to the google docs review/playtest circle on it.
I think I will be ready in around a week to 10 days, so hopefully this is enough warning for those interested.
It's not something I have attempted before by ways of submission and is way beyond a single item, so any and all offers are very gratefully received.
Cleansing Spirits
Aura strong abjuration, faint transmutation;CL 13th
Slot none; Price 12,000gp; Weight —
Description
A small, crystal phial contains a slightly effervescent liquid. When the stopper is removed a smell like freshly cleaned and pressed clothing emanates from the container.
Soaking worn clothing in cleansing spirits is a full-round action that provokes. The next spell or spell-like ability used against the wearer reacts as if spell turning had been cast on the wearer. Any spells or spell-like abilities that are not encompassed in spell turning must make a check against spell resistance 20 or fail.
Pouring cleansing spirits on magical writing and wiping it away with a cloth causes the writing to disappear from the surface it was written on and appear on the cloth used to wipe it up. Pouring the shimmering liquid onto magical writing is a standard action that provokes. Liquid that is poured on magical writing will evaporate in 1d4 rounds if not wiped away immediately.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, erase, spell turning; Cost 6,000gp
Presumably of interest to folks in this thread, as it's right in our bailiwick.
http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2pw23?AdventureAWeekcom-Submit-an-entry-to-The
Url'd for ease - thanks for the link Jacob.
Very, very, very early draft - but we haven't had a post for a while, so here is the basic thoughts without too much spangle or sparkle yet. Have fun.
Splitter Pendant
This silver chain pendant supports a three inch long triangular crystal stone. A spellcaster uses this item to alter spells which either have an area of effect, or are ray spells. Only the areas of effect and how targets are hit are altered, damage remains the same.
Holding the stone vertically so that the flat edge is towards the caster, with the triangle peak facing away from the caster results in a non ray spell being changed to a ray effect, requiring ranged to hit rolls on targets being aimed at. The range and length of the ray can be no longer then the larger of the width, length or height of the original area of effect.
Reversing the hold, so the edge is towards the caster and the base away alters a ray spell into a cone spell. The attack roll for the ray is still made, but the result determines the DC of the Reflex save to avoid damage from the cone attack. If the original ray had a range in excess of 60 feet, the cone produced is a standard 60 foot cone, otherwise it is a 30 foot cone.
(195 words as it stands - adding the template would add a few more but it would still be well within the 300 limit - grin).
Cleansing Spirits
Aura strong abjuration, faint transmutation;CL 13th
Slot none; Price 12,000gp; Weight —
Description
A small, crystal phial contains a slightly effervescent liquid. When the stopper is removed a smell like freshly cleaned and pressed clothing emanates from the container.Soaking worn clothing in cleansing spirits is a full-round action that provokes. The next spell or spell-like ability used against the wearer reacts as if spell turning had been cast on the wearer. Any spells or spell-like abilities that are not encompassed in spell turning must make a check against spell resistance 20 or fail.
Pouring cleansing spirits on magical writing and wiping it away with a cloth causes the writing to disappear from the surface it was written on and appear on the cloth used to wipe it up. Pouring the shimmering liquid onto magical writing is a standard action that provokes. Liquid that is poured on magical writing will evaporate in 1d4 rounds if not wiped away immediately.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, erase, spell turning; Cost 6,000gp
Very, very, very early draft - but we haven't had a post for a while, so here is the basic thoughts without too much spangle or sparkle yet. Have fun.
*clears throat* I wouldn't say it's been THAT long since we had a post :P
Anyhow here's my thoughts on yours!
"Only the areas of effect and how targets are hit are altered, damage remains the same." I would just say that "Damage is not altered."
Your 2nd paragraph seems contradictory. Holding it vertically so the flat side towards the caster...how do you also put the triangle peak facing away? I think you meant holding it horizontally? If that's the case, do you mean ANY of the triangle peaks, or is this an isosceles triangle with 2 sides longer which would result in 1 more prominent peak?
Range and length of the ray...aren't these synonyms in this case?
On the reflex save...is to negate all damage or to take half? If this is priced high enough (and it should be with the continual use, non-action to use, and spell altering effects) it should be for half damage.
I LOVE the idea of rolling the attack to determine the DC.
This is a super interesting idea Anthony! Almost would counsel you to have held onto it for next RPGSS! Seriously...cool idea.
"Only the areas of effect and how targets are hit are altered, damage remains the same." I would just say that "Damage is not altered."
Agreed. I think I would have caught this on re-edits.
Your 2nd paragraph seems contradictory. Holding it vertically so the flat side towards the caster...how do you also put the triangle peak facing away? I think you meant holding it horizontally? If that's the case, do you mean ANY of the triangle peaks, or is this an isosceles triangle with 2 sides longer which would result in 1 more prominent peak?
Needs work on the description. Imagine it thus, take a square that is a three inch tall block. Cut across the diagonal down the block. You have two triangular three inch rods. So you are holding the three inch length verticle, using the edges to determine the use.
That said, I would probably remove this altogether - its a remnant of my over thinking again. I would probably change it to a description of spell particles flowing from the caster into the rod, and then becoming a focused ray or a dispersed cone per the casters wishes and leave the "how does it do that" to the imagination.
Range and length of the ray...aren't these synonyms in this case?
Agreed. I definietly would have caught this on re-edits, probably my game terms check that I usually do around edits 2, 3 and 4.
On the reflex save...is to negate all damage or to take half? If this is priced high enough (and it should be with the continual use, non-action to use, and spell altering effects) it should be for half damage.
I thought about this a lot.
It was an attempt at maintaining game balance - a ray converted to an area of effect needs to provide some chance of getting out of harms way like every other area of effect. Rather than a fixed DC, I thought a variable DC, set by the rays original attack roll would mean a spell so converted would sometimes be as good as a formal area of effect but also sometimes would be easy to avoid (through poor attack roll meaning a lower DC)
I am also considering that when an area of effect becomes a ray, it loses any save, but the targets Dex modifier is applied as a penalty to the attack roll for the converted ray. It's all about bending the rules in a new way without breaking them too much.
Hope that helps :)
OK, catchup day on my gaming stuff today...
Cleansing Spirits
Aura strong abjuration, faint transmutation;CL 13th
Slot none; Price 12,000gp; Weight —
Description
A small, crystal phial contains a slightly effervescent liquid. When the stopper is removed a smell like freshly cleaned and pressed clothing emanates from the container.Soaking worn clothing in cleansing spirits is a full-round action that provokes. The next spell or spell-like ability used against the wearer reacts as if spell turning had been cast on the wearer. Any spells or spell-like abilities that are not encompassed in spell turning must make a check against spell resistance 20 or fail.
Pouring cleansing spirits on magical writing and wiping it away with a cloth causes the writing to disappear from the surface it was written on and appear on the cloth used to wipe it up. Pouring the shimmering liquid onto magical writing is a standard action that provokes. Liquid that is poured on magical writing will evaporate in 1d4 rounds if not wiped away immediately.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, erase, spell turning; Cost 6,000gp
I have to admit the name threw me a bit. After reading the item, I think it does make sense and I can't think of anything better off the top of my head, but I did have a slightly negative initial reaction to it. I think maybe it felt more like something I'd expect to find in Victorian era gaming -- I can see a Jane Austen protagonist calling for "cleansing spirits" after seeing something unpleasant -- than typical fantasy. This could easily be just me, but I thought I'd mention it. (In general, though, I'm a big fan of that form of name, without an "of" construction, and I think it aptly describes what it does.)
Template use looks pretty good, though I do see a few missing spaces: Between the semicolon after the aura and "CL" and between the price and cost and "gp."
I like the description, which uses nice words like emanate. That said, I thought "freshly cleaned and pressed clothing" also felt a bit anachronistic to me. Was clothing pressed back in medieval times?
I like the idea of treating your clothing. That seemed fun to me. I'm not sure I understand the point of the second power, though. You could have a cloth scroll instead of parchment one? I suppose there are times that could be useful but I'm not sure. I suppose you could get rid of glyphs and symbols, but I'm just not quite sure what the point of it is.
Splitter Pendant
That said, I would probably remove this altogether - its a remnant of my over thinking again.
First of all, I was very pleased to read this. I thought this was a bit of a step back in your efforts to get away from overdescribing the mechanics of your item. I don't really care how I hold the crystal; it's just getting into too much minutiae.
I am also considering that when an area of effect becomes a ray, it loses any save, but the targets Dex modifier is applied as a penalty to the attack roll for the converted ray. It's all about bending the rules in a new way without breaking them too much.
Isn't the target's Dex modifier already applied, considering the ray would be a ranged touch attack? Would you have the target get double Dex, basically? I'm not sure I'd give a save at all if you converted an AoE spell to a ray. Isn't that almost the point of rays? If you do allow a save, why would anyone want to use this version (I suppose if their party members were in the AoE, but then I'd assume they'd already have some spells prepared for that situation instead of sort of nerfing the fireball).
Those comments aside, I agree with Headkase that this is a neat idea, one I might have saved. I don't think there's anything that would let you change AoE to rays and vice-versa, and I could see it being really useful, almost something I'd want any spellcaster to have just for those situations where I need it. Rogues would absolutely HATE this item if you eliminated the save aspect from the rays -- suddenly fireballs are dangerous to them.
Ok, as you all seemed to like this one, here is a much revised, hopefully more spangly wow factor version. (236 words, well within the limit even factoring the template in... a bit longer than I wanted, but I can always rework and shorten para 1).
This is probably the version that I would settle on and polish for submission.
Oh, slight name change - I watched that video posted from Paicocon 2013 - and naming was brought up ( >.< )
Splitter was quite "meh" on reflection so I reflected on refraction instead :P
Refraction Pendant
A silver chain supports a hollow crystal containing a perfect diamond, free floating and rotating slowly, catching beams of light, throwing them back out in a myriad of rainbow hues. These multicolored beams narrow and widen, as the diamond spins, cycling through the full color spectrum.
Wearing this pendant allows a caster to convert an area of effect spell into a ray and vice versa. Converting a ray spell causes the ray to widen into a cone effect. Rays with a range of 60 feet or more produce a 60 foot cone, otherwise a 30 foot cone is produced. A single ranged basic attack roll is made to set a Reflex save DC for the cone for half damage. This attack roll gains a +1 bonus to the attack roll for every two levels of the spell being converted, to a maximum + 5 bonus.
Converting an area of effect spell to a ray focuses the effect of the spell, negating any saving throws for avoidance of damage, the target simply hit or missed. The range of the ray produced can be no longer then the larger of the width, length or height of the original area of effect. A basic ranged touch attack is made for the target of the ray, no bonus applied to this roll for spell levels. Regardless of the duration of the area of effect, the ray is instantaneous.
Forgot to mention the name, which was indeed eh. I like refraction pendant. I think refraction crystal might be even better but either is something that would capture my imagination.
Not sure I like it being a crystal that contains a perfect diamond, but the idea's growing on my as I think about it. It's definitely visual, which I like. I think my editor side is twitching a little at the number of clauses in that first sentence, but I think it's OK. Not sure if you can have a myriad of rainbow hues? Seems a bit redundant, but again, that might be me being a bit nitpicky. You don't need the first comma in the second sentence, but in generally I think this is one of your best descriptions. It's clear, interesting and not overly concerned with mechanics. Nice job.
This attack roll gains a +1 bonus to the attack roll
From the Redundancy Department of Redundancies. I also don't think ranged basic attack roll is a game term. It's odd to have an attack roll for cones -- do I get a bonus for feats that boost rays' to hit chances?
For the ray, I might throw in radius too, since a lot of AoE spells have that as a limiter, though that may also limit you to a 20-ft. range. Maybe that's OK. I like the thought about it being instantaneous, though I'm not sure I like the results, if that makes sense. I'd need to think about it and look at some spells and see what effect that would have. I'm thinking of something like stinking cloud, but maybe that would just end up being a spell I wouldn't use with this. Why'd you make that decision?
Jacob's hit the points that I thought as I was reading it.
But I quite like the perfect diamond bit. VERY good image conjuration.
First sentence caused me to stumble a few times...I think a period and new sentence in there somewhere would do wonders, and you have the word count left to do it.
I want to see how you would price this now :) C'mon...give us a final submission in template form for this one!
Like the new name. This is completely personal to my tastes, but have you tried reversing the name order if you took Jacob's "refraction crystal"? Something like crystal refraction or crystalline refraction? For some reason that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.
Now one last question I just thought of...with the lights being generated like a disco ball by the diamond...would this give a negative to Stealth?
Great job in all. Seriously cool item!
Rays in the main don't have saves where as areas of effect do.
Areas of effect don't have attack rolls where rays do.
So basically changing an area of effect to a ray negates the save but needs now to have an attack roll. So I thought that converting the attack roll from the ray into a save dc for the area of effect was a simple fit.
Similarly going the other way, the area of effect is more potent for higher spell levels, so I thought that some bonus for the ray was applicable to give to the single target attack roll.
Spell level seemed a reasonable choice, giving +1 for levels 1-2 spells, +2 for 3-4, to +5 for 9th (so I may be able to eliminate "to a maximum of +5 bonus", which I added just in case the mythic introduces 10th level or higher spells. :)
Yeah, I think changing the limiter to radius or even diameter to avoid the 20 foot issue might be better than listing the 3 dimensions.
Stinking cloud - and Cloudkill were both issue spells for me, but I thought that if you are hit by the ray the damage is unchanged, so for these spells, a ray hit of cloudkill/stinking cloud cauases the target to have to save etc or take the consequences.
I didn't want someone kicking off a ray and waving it around like a lightsabre though for a number of rounds for the duration of the converted area of effect has, so it had to change to be instantaneous (which was offset by the bonus to attack provision)
Swings and roundabouts as they say.
Hope that gives insight into my thoughts for you.
Ah, that makes sense (re: duration; I'm too tired right now to figure out the attack rolls mechanics). I wasn't thinking about the light saber effect (though that's kind of AWESOME! I might make a magic weapon that can do something like that!) but rather the effects on the victim last for the same duration.
"It's not a lightsaber...it's a psionic spear blade...lightsaber is a trademarked term."
OK, Anthony inspired me.
Here's a quick version of a ... um, spell-powered psionic spear blade. I'm too tired/loopy to figure out all the mechanics in terms of how broken this thing is (cloudkill is definitely a problematic spell, though I think I dealt with that by saying it only works with damaging spells -- even if I think it'd also be cool to have a light blade that basically lights everything it touches, sort of a poor man's faerie fire). Maybe I'll try to come back to it when I can think more clearly. Obviously it's very quickly done, since the time stamp says I got excited about the idea just 26 minutes ago.
Spellsword Hilt
Aura faint (no school); CL 2nd
Slot none; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
Rune-etched leather wraps cover this sword hilt, which ends in a carved dragon's mouth gaping where a blade would normally be attached.
When an area of effect spell that deals damage is cast into the hilt, it manifests a magical energy blade for the duration of the spell; instantaneous spells last for one round per level of the spell. Any creature hit with a touch attack by the blade suffers the effects of the spell for one round, with no save.
The wielder may determine what sort of blade the hilt manifest, gaining any feats he may have with a specific type of blade but suffering any non-proficiency penalties if he chooses an unfamiliar weapon.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, spellstrike ability; Cost 4,000 gp