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Dr Mr Aberzombie,
If pigeons became zombies, would they still poop on my car? If the answer is no, could you please start turning them?
Technically, no, they would not poop on your car. However, as they decay, bits and pieces would fall off them and onto your car. Once their digestive system became compromised, anything they swallow would then fall out right onto your car.
...However, I know of no zombie who willing eats trolls as we consider them junk food, same as kobolds.
The difference being, it is possible to teach trolls how to mine. Kobolds? Not so much.
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Do all people taste the same, or does the flavor vary from region to region?
And as a related question, when one turns into a zombie, how does that affect one's ability to taste? As one who enjoys a good meal and good drink, if my sense of taste went, I think that would really suck. Of course, then again, seeing what zombies eat ...
I'll answer these questions in reverse.
Most zombies do lose their sense of taste. More powerful ones, such as myself can find their sense of taste only slightly degraded.
The taste of people is heavily affected by different factors: climate, diet, health, shoe size, etc. I have some cannibal friends among the living who are amazing in their ability to tell a lot about their food just from a single taste.
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Do all people taste the same, or does the flavor vary from region to region?
And as a related question, when one turns into a zombie, how does that affect one's ability to taste? As one who enjoys a good meal and good drink, if my sense of taste went, I think that would really suck. Of course, then again, seeing what zombies eat ...
I'll answer these questions in reverse.
Most zombies do lose their sense of taste. More powerful ones, such as myself can find their sense of taste only slightly degraded.
The taste of people is heavily affected by different factors: climate, diet, health, shoe size, etc. I have some cannibal friends among the living who are amazing in their ability to tell a lot about their food just from a single taste.
Case and point, this gentleman's brain has the savory base typical of Midwesterners. Probably of German descent, with a touch of Italian... no... Greek. There is an acidic bite that tells me he probably drank too much caffeine. He wasn't self-medicating, but there is a hint of prescription MAOI-Inhibitors. The consistency suggests he was under a lot of stress in the months leading up to this consumption...
Sir,
As an expert on the subject, what are your views on the strengths, weaknesses, and usefulness of your cousin undead? You've made your stances on zombies quite clear, but I am curious what you think of the rest of the, if I may say so, unliving "kingdom".
Thinking about calling it Zone as an homage to Rod Serling. You like? Any pointers?Just sit tight for a bit. As I type, several members of the horde are on their way to you to serve as....consultants...yeah, that's it....consultants on this abomin.....I mean book, that you're working on.
When the doorbell rings, just open right up.
AZ, are you sure you want your colleagues to eat brain of the one who made that?
Technically, no, they would not poop on your car. However, as they decay, bits and pieces would fall off them and onto your car. Once their digestive system became compromised, anything they swallow would then fall out right onto your car.Dr Mr Aberzombie,
If pigeons became zombies, would they still poop on my car? If the answer is no, could you please start turning them?
So you are then verifying that pigeons do indeed target automobiles with their poop at the behest of their zombie overlords. Oh the humanity ... pigeonity ... zombity ... oh the crap!!!
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Dear Mr. Aberzombie,
I had the opportunity to chat with Max Brooks last month in Calgary. I figured I'd give you fair warning. Keep your minions off my lawn.
Sincerely,
Gideon Black
Hello new person, and welcome to the boards. I've also had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Brooks. A nice fellow. Don't worry, he's already taken care of.
Respectful of your wishes, however, I've instructed the horde not to go marching across your lawn. I fully understand the pride many homeowners take in their landscaping. Under your lawn is another matter entirely.......
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Sir,
As an expert on the subject, what are your views on the strengths, weaknesses, and usefulness of your cousin undead? You've made your stances on zombies quite clear, but I am curious what you think of the rest of the, if I may say so, unliving "kingdom".
My opinions on other undead are varied.
Vampires - see my profile.
Ghosts - since they don't usually compete with us, I have a policy of unlike and let unlive. Besides, sometimes they drive you people out of the buildings you like to hold up in.
Mummies - I like mummies. The whole vengeful curse thing can be entertaining to watch.
Dear Mr. Aberzombie,
I had the opportunity to chat with Max Brooks last month in Calgary. I figured I'd give you fair warning. Keep your minions off my lawn.
Sincerely,
Gideon BlackHello new person, and welcome to the boards. I've also had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Brooks. A nice fellow. Don't worry, he's already taken care of.
Respectful of your wishes, however, I've instructed the horde not to go marching across your lawn. I fully understand the pride many homeowners take in their landscaping. Under your lawn is another matter entirely.......
Mr. Aberzombie,
I believe I have a defense against that. What are your thoughts?
Do zombies like take-out, especially if it's found in a dumpster?
Is it acceptable to stab a zombie in the head with sharp scissors and if so is it fashionable.
Do zombies eat at Popeyes, Church's, and KFC.
Is using a rivet gun an acceptable defense measure against a shambling zombie, or a horde of them.
I watched Dawn of the Dead last night and it was hilarious.
I saw zombies get sawed in half, then at the lower torso, and along the legs. Does this form of violence disturb you in any way and do you believe zombies have certain inalienable rights against this form of slaughter?
Dear Mr Aberzombie,
Having clicked the link supplied by some random dude, I must ask the follow questions of you:
1) Did you used to play football?
2) Do road cones protect your head?
3) Do you have a screen door shield?
4) Do you like tricycles?
5) Is there butter on your head?
6) Are you going to eat my brain?
Oh wait, I guess you've already answered that last one ... several times ...
Are you serious?
Are you serious?
Oh, you mean he isn't going to eat my brain? Whew, I was worried there for a bit.
Who would win in a battle?
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Dear Mr. Aberzombie,
I had the opportunity to chat with Max Brooks last month in Calgary. I figured I'd give you fair warning. Keep your minions off my lawn.
Sincerely,
Gideon BlackHello new person, and welcome to the boards. I've also had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Brooks. A nice fellow. Don't worry, he's already taken care of.
Respectful of your wishes, however, I've instructed the horde not to go marching across your lawn. I fully understand the pride many homeowners take in their landscaping. Under your lawn is another matter entirely.......
Mr. Aberzombie,
I believe I have a defense against that. What are your thoughts?
Thanks for the warning. I have my planners working on a contingency.
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I watched Dawn of the Dead last night and it was hilarious.
I saw zombies get sawed in half, then at the lower torso, and along the legs. Does this form of violence disturb you in any way and do you believe zombies have certain inalienable rights against this form of slaughter?
Violence against the heartbeat challenged always disturbs me. You humans are a very violent breed. Of course, we zombies were human too, once. So the potential for violence is still there, but mitigated by a zombie's much more disciplined mind. and focused sense of purpose.
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Dear Mr Aberzombie,
Having clicked the link supplied by some random dude, I must ask the follow questions of you:
1) Did you used to play football?
2) Do road cones protect your head?
3) Do you have a screen door shield?
4) Do you like tricycles?
5) Is there butter on your head?
6) Are you going to eat my brain?Oh wait, I guess you've already answered that last one ... several times ...
1) I've played football with friends, but never as part of an official team or as a profession.
2) I suppose road cones would protect my head, but I'm adverse to using them, as stealing them my put road crews in danger.3)No.
4)I like them, but they don't like me.
5)No, I don't like butter.
6) IF you stay still long enough, it's more than likely.
Dear Mr. Zombie, what is your thoughts on cybermen?
Dear Mr. Zombie, what is your thoughts on cybermen?
IN-FER-I-OR AND PA-THE-TIC AT-TEMPTS TO DU-PLI-CATE THEIR BET-TERS.
Is it acceptable to stab a zombie in the head with sharp scissors and if so is it fashionable.Violence against the heartbeat challenged is never acceptable in my book. Stabbing anyone with scissors is a movie cliche that's best avoided.
"BluePigeon pulls a pair of scissors, you pull a corncob. He sends one of yours to the morgue, you turn one of his to infect the rest! That's the AberZombie way!" [/Sean AberConnery]
Ghosts - since they don't usually compete with us, I have a policy of unlike and let unlive. Besides, sometimes they drive you people out of the buildings you like to hold up in.
*sniffles*
Do zombies eat at Popeyes, Church's, and KFC.I enjoy eating at Popeyes, as do many of the Horde. There are some who demean themselves by eating at KFC, and even Crap-fil-a, but I didn't think there were any Church's left.
There's one here in Las Vegas and not too far from home. Help yourself.
Oh, wait. Let me rephrase that..
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*sniffles*Ghosts - since they don't usually compete with us, I have a policy of unlike and let unlive. Besides, sometimes they drive you people out of the buildings you like to hold up in.
Cheer up Casper. That's why I threw the "usually don't compete with us" in there. I was thinking of you, dude! You're more like one of us than one of them.
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
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"BluePigeon pulls a pair of scissors, you pull a corncob. He sends one of yours to the morgue, you turn one of his to infect the rest! That's the AberZombie way!" [/Sean AberConnery]Is it acceptable to stab a zombie in the head with sharp scissors and if so is it fashionable.Violence against the heartbeat challenged is never acceptable in my book. Stabbing anyone with scissors is a movie cliche that's best avoided.
I looked up your profile and I saw something...disturbing. Why do you have a constitution score? Also, isn't your bonus hit points based off of charisma?
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I looked up your profile and I saw something...disturbing. Why do you have a constitution score? Also, isn't your bonus hit points based off of charisma?
Thank you for pointing out those errors. Those stats were from my days as one of the living. I usually have a staff to take care of things like this for me, but it looks like they were not doing their job. Rest assured, the profile has been corrected, and those responsible for the error have been killed and eaten (not necessarily in that order).
I looked up your profile and I saw something...disturbing. Why do you have a constitution score? Also, isn't your bonus hit points based off of charisma?Thank you for pointing out those errors. Those stats were from my days as one of the living. I usually have a staff to take care of things like this for me, but it looks like they were not doing their job. Rest assured, the profile has been corrected, and those responsible for the error have been killed and eaten (not necessarily in that order).
Were they sacked first?
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Dear Mr Amberzombie, I am already a feline vampire... do I have to worry about zombie attacks? Also, Zombies keep eating my food, can you please stop?
We won't eat you, but "your food"? HA! Good luck winning past the horde. We multiply alot faster. And, we're active 24/7.
In other words....EAT SUNLIGHT!!!!
Dear Mr. Aberzombie,
What/who will you eat when you've eaten everyone alive?
Actually, that's something I'm not prepared to comment on at the moment, as it delves too deeply into the horde's plans. Let's just say that the word "moo" comes to mind.Dear Mr. Aberzombie,
What/who will you eat when you've eaten everyone alive?
{relieved} Oink oink!
Let at least zombies can't claim trees or use a ladder.
Or can they?