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Hope that goes well for you!
Current mood: that guy who's literally on fire, walking back to his cubicle with a mug of coffee.
Work's been awful this week but that's hopefully just gonna make this weekend that much sweeter.
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I'm starting to have panic attacks already just thinking about going out on my birthday. I don't know if I'm ready to do this. I know that if I don't I'll just keep making up excuses.
are you medicated for your panic attacks? I know that it's better to be able to manage those without chemical help, but if you can't, you need help... and what exactly do you fear, you're abut to go out somewhere/with some people friendly aren't you, you're not coming out to a potentially hostile audience for your birthday are you?
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I have medication. I'm going to be with people who will support me. They are either trans women or very supportive cis women. I don't know what we're doing yet.
I'm probably worried about nothing. I'm in a liberal area where people either accept it or don't usually say anything.
The worst that will probably happen is misgendering and I don't even think that's going to happen unless they go strictly by my voice.
The fear is all in my head. I am able to defend myself. The people I will be with will defend me. I'm still worried.
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I have medication. I'm going to be with people who will support me. They are either trans women or very supportive cis women. I don't know what we're doing yet.
I'm probably worried about nothing. I'm in a liberal area where people either accept it or don't usually say anything.
The worst that will probably happen is misgendering and I don't even think that's going to happen unless they go strictly by my voice.
The fear is all in my head. I am able to defend myself. The people I will be with will defend me. I'm still worried.
be You, cindy.
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Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Obviously you've got amazing amounts of courage.
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We'll see if I have the courage. I'm not planning on canceling.
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Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Obviously you've got amazing amounts of courage.
I'm glad they changed that about the green lantern mythos. Only someone who has issues is completely fearless. The majority of us have to OVERCOME the fear, feeling every iota of it while we do..whatever it is we came to do.
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As of right now the plan is:
1. Buy a new outfit
2. Have someone do my makeup at a place like Nordstrom's
3. Get food
4. Go find an Escape Room
5. Wander around town a bit
6. Deal with panic attacks as they happen
7. Change back
8. Go home and reflect on how great my birthday was
I have an interesting entourage. There will be one trans woman. One amazing supporter. A professional female model. And myself. I will be the only one not comfortable with myself, but I will be with 3 strong women who are very comfortable with themselves or will be used to dealing with eyes trained on them. Besides, the best way for the eyes to be off of me is to bring a drop dead gorgeous woman along.
*sigh* I have accidentally closed the tab while being somewhere in the first half of more than 1400 unread posts here...
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*sigh* I have accidentally closed the tab while being somewhere in the first half of more than 1400 unread posts here...
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me explain.[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.
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Ooo, escape rooms are fun! My advice is to not overthink things and to turn over ALL THE THINGS. (you probably shouldn't don't turn over the furniture though.)
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Ninja'ed by Rysky... I'll do the same.
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Yay, internet!
*Offers hugs*
*Gets hugs*
Sorry for the silence, a project that plastered the local news with 'fast internet for everybody' ads for weeks managed to cut my DSL connection while placing their cables :-/
At least I have my trusty slow motion webservice during nightshift hours.
Cindy: I hope you have a fun, unforgettable evening/night out!
*feeds the glowing embers of the campfire*
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*sigh*
*Cozying up the place for hugs, smiles, companionship, talking, gaming and general merryment*
*Hot and cold beverages at your leisure*
*Hands out towels - in case the ground is as soaking wet as it looks around here*
*also: always have a clean towel at hand*
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a hoopy frood always nows where his towel is ;)
It's been such a weekend here in VA, in fact, that I forgot to switch to VixieMoondew from Lady for OOC interactions! :P
Regardless, thank you for the hug, Rysky <3
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It's been a heck of a weekend here in VA x.xIt is has. It's very very hard for me to talk about.
** spoiler omitted **
You shouldn't blame yourself. It's called survivor's guilt for a reason... you narrowly dodged a event that could have killed you by a perfectly sane and reasonable happenstance. You have nothing to feel bad about.
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You shouldn't blame yourself. It's called survivor's guilt for a reason... you narrowly dodged a event that could have killed you by a perfectly sane and reasonable happenstance. You have nothing to feel bad about.It's been a heck of a weekend here in VA x.xIt is has. It's very very hard for me to talk about.
** spoiler omitted **
Also! Gen Con is this week! I'm very stressed out about not being ready!
I didn't enjoy the one we did...
I'm going to a fundraiser tomorrow night for my friends Nikki and Chris.
I may have mentioned early last spring speaking to a city council to help get a non-discrimination ordinance passed. Nikki has been spearheading that ordinance for several years, and we celebrated when council voted to pass it that night.
Since then, the opposition has tried to recall council members who voted yes, overturn the ordinance, and in general, continue fighting to return the city to a place where it is legal to discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation.
Last Thursday night, Nikki and Chris' house was torched (accelerants were used). The house was completely burned to the ground and all five of their cats and dogs were killed in the fire.
Fortunately, they didn't trap Nikki and Chris in the flames.
It's looking like it was a copy-cat fire from the gay couple with the African American child who had the whole fire department standing around watching their home burn last week in Oklahoma
This is the mood I woke up in on Saturday morning. And then Heather Heyer was killed.
I'm feeling kinda bleak.
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That is just so wrong! Sorry to hear that things like that are going on, but I'm glad you are pushing for positive change. Without people like you, positive change would never come. I can't get into it, but I think that things may have reached a point where they will be turning slowly back in a better direction.
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I'm going to a fundraiser tomorrow night for my friends Nikki and Chris.
I may have mentioned early last spring speaking to a city council to help get a non-discrimination ordinance passed. Nikki has been spearheading that ordinance for several years, and we celebrated when council voted to pass it that night.
Since then, the opposition has tried to recall council members who voted yes, overturn the ordinance, and in general, continue fighting to return the city to a place where it is legal to discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation.
Last Thursday night, Nikki and Chris' house was torched (accelerants were used). The house was completely burned to the ground and all five of their cats and dogs were killed in the fire.
Fortunately, they didn't trap Nikki and Chris in the flames.
It's looking like it was a copy-cat fire from the gay couple with the African American child who had the whole fire department standing around watching their home burn last week in Oklahoma
This is the mood I woke up in on Saturday morning. And then Heather Heyer was killed.
I'm feeling kinda bleak.
That is awful. The world today is indeed bleak. Do your friends have a GoFundMe page (or similar) to help them rebuild?
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I'm glad you are pushing for positive change. Without people like you, positive change would never come.
I met Nikki and Chris when I was facilitating a training session on non-violent bystander interventions. [Really, you can teach these things! People can learn these things!]
Saturday morning, Nikki tweeted:
Good Morning family! Please do not threaten violence. Yes, be angry, be very angry. Use that anger to force good! Use this anger to make change. Don't let this anger turn to hate. I'm trying very hard to remind myself every day. If we react in hate, ultimately they win. Love will win! I love you all. #Jacksonproud. #Jacksonstrong.
I.. just... I got nothing, Crystal.
You've got hugs and kind words. Kindness is never "nothing".
Do your friends have a GoFundMe page (or similar) to help them rebuild?
Yes, the church that help them create a LGBTQ community center in this small midwestern town is hosting a fundraiser and there's also a crowdfunding page
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Just decided to check in on this thread after about 8 billion years, and saw CrystalSeas' post. Damn. That is just infuriatingly awful. Many hugs and prayers/good thoughts.