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Dear Ask A Sho-, er, James Jacob:
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Dear James Jacobs, why can't Swedish soccer teams seem to qualify for the Champions League any longer?
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If you had a million dollars what would you buy?
White, wheat, or raisin, hon?
snaps gum
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How many licks does it take to get the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
3 is not the right answer.
What happens if a manticore and a human female get that special feeling for each other?
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Handy for a Tenner?
Creative Director
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Dear James Jacobs, why can't Swedish soccer teams seem to qualify for the Champions League any longer?
It's all part of their 19 year plan of making other teams overconfident so that when the time is right they'll be able to strike with unwavering power and vim.
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Creative Director
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Can you identify the source of >>THIS<< Smell? Your screen is scratch and sniff right?
It's tough, but I suspect it's probably lotus pollen harvested from the southernmost slopes of Mount Voormithadreth just before the fourth uprising of the weeping dead.
Is there anything that cannot be blamed on Cosmo?
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Billie Piper?
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Creative Director
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What do you call a halfling that mates with a human?
Stretch.
What about a gnome?
Reverse jailbait.
Are there Dwelfs in Golarion?
Nope. Elves are too awesome and dwarves too drunk to ever get together.
Muls?
There were once upon a time, but then Litigiouthrax, demon lord of Intellectual Property, brought them all back home to Athas.
If a human can mate with an Orc and an Elf can a player play a half human 1/4 Elf or 1/4 Orc??
If you're talking about a huorlf, then yes.
If you're talking about an ormulf, then no.If you're talking about an elorman, then yes... but only if you send me the pictures.
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Cats or dogs?Cats.
Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.
Cats all the way.
I am impressed with the wisdom handed down at such a late hour, I am disappointed that you are a cat person
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Creative Director
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wHY HELIOCENTRIC?
wHY NOT the turtle of enormous girth upon which its shell it holds the earth??
Because the turtles below that guy asked us not to. They're kind of annoyed the top dude gets all the press, and we empathize with them. Just because it's turtles all the way down doesn't mean the dude on top should be the star.
What do the numbers 12, 24, 35, 85, 89, 92, 95, 98, 134, 139 and possibly 112 have in common?
Dear James Jacobs,
I like doing magic and stabbing people, but I am rubbish at performing and am not in any respect wise. What should I do with my life? Is there a full spell progression in my future?
Regards,
Gary
Who
Where
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Cats or dogs?Cats.
Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.
Cats all the way.
FAIL
You have conveniently forgotten several pertinent fcts:
Cats may not eat feces, but regurgitate many things, including wildlife, on floors. Especially in hallways used at O-dark-30.
Cats bury their feces, and tend to do it in incovenient areas, like a certain troll's vegetable garden.
Dogs are obviously a superior choice for an animal companion.
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Is the Simpsons still funny?
Do you miss me?
Not enough information. Human tongue or froghemoth tongue?How many licks does it take to get the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
3 is not the right answer.
I'll take either answer. And please hurry, the situation is growing dire.
Cats or dogs?Cats.
Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.
Cats all the way.
FAIL
You have conveniently forgotten several pertinent fcts:
Cats may not eat feces, but regurgitate many things, including wildlife, on floors. Especially in hallways used at O-dark-30.
Cats bury their feces, and tend to do it in incovenient areas, like a certain troll's vegetable garden.
Dogs are obviously a superior choice for animal consumption.
FTFY {harfs up hairball in Spank's best dress shoes}