Break out the impaling poles, the Christians are coming to the Godless North


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The Exchange

The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

:P "phuuut!"

Allah is the only god and Mohamed is his only Prophet!


So, were the people on the shopping trolleys performing the fornications Polish? I'd re-divert the Gibbs Family to Warsaw.


Or were the Poles trolling? There's a lot of trolling going on.


yellowdingo wrote:

The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

:P "phuuut!"

Allah is the only god and Mohamed is his only Prophet!

The Northern Territory - They have sex in shopping trolleys because they cant afford the rent for a "Trailer Park".

Liberty's Edge

late 1800s and always a favorite sing along at old time music gatherings.

(Chorus)
Tis the old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Tis the old time religion
And its good enough for me

It Makes me love everybody
It Makes me love everybody
It Makes me love everybody
And its good enough for me

It was good for Paul and Peter
It was good for Paul and Peter
It was good for Paul and Peter
And its good enough for me

It was good for the hebrew children
It was good for the hebrew children
It was good for the hebrew children
And its good enough for me

Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
And Its good enough for me

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

yellowdingo wrote:

The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

:P "phuuut!"

Just remember to ask yourself:

"What Would Gibbs Do?"

The Exchange

The 8th Dwarf wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:

The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

:P "phuuut!"

Allah is the only god and Mohamed is his only Prophet!

The Northern Territory - They have sex in shopping trolleys because they cant afford the rent for a "Trailer Park".

They have sex in shopping trolleys in Darwin because The...err...i got nuthin. They have sex in shopping trolleys and the drunken dispossessed mobs openly brawl with our corrupt police because it is all about who is the big dog.


Who da Big Dog?

yellowdingo da Big Dog!


yellowdingo wrote:
The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

So where are they going to go? The Northern Territory is a big place. Bigger than Texas, I think there is a farm up there about the size of Texas.

I bet they get to Darwin melt in the heat, decide that the Northern Territory is a realm of hell, and bugger off back home.

Liberty's Edge

Y'know, everybody says s$*# is bigger than Texas.
Nobody says nothing is bigger than the Northern Territory.

That's how big Texas is.

Liberty's Edge

Then there's Alaska...


As a North Carolina native all I can say is good riddance to bad rubbish.
I am very amused that Australia exports some absolutely incredible talent, Nichole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Helen Ready to name a few and what does my home state export...nut jobs with an axe to grind.

Ain't life amusing?
I wonder if they are associated with the little freak Duffy stoad, kid kept getting kicked outta school for being a serious disruption calling the girls fornicators and saying repent now or go to ever lasting fire and damnation.
That’s ok if your an adult but a little harsh for 4th graders

Have fun being saved.


Take them out to the middle of nowhere and leave them without equipment, if god really wanted them to convert the Christians to Christianity god will make sure they survive.


Heathansson wrote:

Y'know, everybody says s~%& is bigger than Texas.

Nobody says nothing is bigger than the Northern Territory.

That's how big Texas is.

No, not everyone, just Texans. They just keep saying it so loud it sounds like everyone is saying it.

Liberty's Edge

Steven Tindall wrote:

As a North Carolina native all I can say is good riddance to bad rubbish.

I am very amused that Australia exports some absolutely incredible talent, Nichole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, Helen Ready to name a few and what does my home state export...nut jobs with an axe to grind.

Ain't life amusing?
I wonder if they are associated with the little freak Duffy stoad, kid kept getting kicked outta school for being a serious disruption calling the girls fornicators and saying repent now or go to ever lasting fire and damnation.
That’s ok if your an adult but a little harsh for 4th graders

Have fun being saved.

+1 to Steve's comment.

Please don't judge North Carolina as a whole by these whack-jobs!

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

Heathansson wrote:

late 1800s and always a favorite sing along at old time music gatherings.

(Chorus)
Tis the old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Tis the old time religion
And its good enough for me

Now I've got '70's sf filk songs running through my head.

Let's hear it now for Isis
Who will help us through this crisis,
And who hasn't raised her prices,
So she's good enough for me.

We appeal to Aphrodite,
Who is, yeah, kinda flighty,
But she wears that see-through nightie,
So she's good enough for me.

I'm sure we could whip up some Golarion verses if given half a chance.

--+--+--

Back on topic:

I am not amazed at the arrogance of the evangelist mission. It's a pretty clear reading of the Gospels that preaching salvation and repentance is what Christ is asking His people to do.

I am indeed amazed that (1) they can't seem to find anybody closer to North Carolina to evangelize, and (2) they don't consider it a better use of God's resources to let Australian missionaries handle Australian missions.

But then, it's been a biter winter in North Carolina this year, and it's summer down there, so maybe the Lord just wants them to have nicer weather.

Dark Archive

Heathansson wrote:

late 1800s and always a favorite sing along at old time music gatherings.

(Chorus)
Tis the old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Tis the old time religion
And its good enough for me

It Makes me love everybody
It Makes me love everybody
It Makes me love everybody
And its good enough for me

It was good for Paul and Peter
It was good for Paul and Peter
It was good for Paul and Peter
And its good enough for me

It was good for the hebrew children
It was good for the hebrew children
It was good for the hebrew children
And its good enough for me

Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
And Its good enough for me

Ok you asked for it.

*Goes to find his old time religion kit*
*Sets up huge flat stone altar*
*Stokes up a huge bonfire*
*Runs down the street "borrows" a cow*
*Slaughters cow cuts into quarters*
*Lets blood thoroughly soak altar*
*Throws cow quarters onto bonfire*
*Takes picture and sends it to Heathansson*
There Haethy your sins are good for another year, now if you'll excuse me I got to go explain to the police about the theft and public mutilation of a cow.

The Exchange

Chris Mortika wrote:

But then, it's been a biter winter in North Carolina this year, and it's summer down there, so maybe the Lord just wants them to have nicer weather.

Thas funny that der is!

Dark Archive

Besides, maybe the cane toads were part of God's vengeance.

Sovereign Court

David Fryer wrote:
Besides, maybe the cane toads were part of God's vengeance.

No, that was drop bears.


Does Australia have room for some Phelpses? Kansas has more than it could ever want.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Lord Fyre wrote:


Just remember to ask yourself:
"What Would Gibbs Do?"

I've been watching too much Titan Maximum. I really expected a t-shirt with Gibbs flipping the bird.

Oh well...

Dark Archive

F33b wrote:
Does Australia have room for some Phelpses? Kansas has more than it could ever want.

Sorry Kansas can keep those, we don't want them spreading out. I'm so sorry about your affliction Kansas but your gonna have to be the martyr for the rest of the world on that one.

The Exchange

Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
F33b wrote:
Does Australia have room for some Phelpses? Kansas has more than it could ever want.
Sorry Kansas can keep those, we don't want them spreading out. I'm so sorry about your affliction Kansas but your gonna have to be the martyr for the rest of the world on that one.

As long as they stay out of Wichita I am fine with it. Topeka is a nutty town anyway.


yellowdingo wrote:
The NT, Australia is to be invaded by the Gibbs Family (Baptists from North Carolina) because they have heard of our godless ways (Drinking and Sex in shopping trolleys in the street) and have decided to convert us.

Either that or they're running away from the godless violence of the relatively unregulated American video game industry. ;)


Or maybe they are hoping to escape pony lawyers. They never learn.


F33b wrote:
Does Australia have room for some Phelpses? Kansas has more than it could ever want.

Yeah I reckon we could fit heaps of bodies.


Chris Mortika wrote:


I am not amazed at the arrogance of the evangelist mission. It's a pretty clear reading of the Gospels that preaching salvation and repentance is what Christ is asking His people to do.

I am indeed amazed that (1) they can't seem to find anybody closer to North Carolina to evangelize, and (2) they don't consider it a better use of God's resources to let Australian missionaries handle Australian missions.

American missionaries have been going to Europe for some years now too. I suspect it's easier to find volunteers to go to places where everyone speaks English and the sanitation and medical infrastructure is closer to what they're accustomed to. I mean people on Survivor don't think it's worth it after a week or two of fake camping and they had to be pretty motivated (and vain, of course) to make it through the selection process.

Mission work among the already converted is a pretty common element of American Evangelism, though. One of the stated reasons for going back on our promise to give the Philippines independence after the Spanish-American War was that they had to be Christianized first. By this point that had been pretty thoroughly accomplished for three centuries.

Liberty's Edge

As I went down in the river to pray
Studyin' about that good ole way and who
Shall wear the starry crown good lord show me the way

O, dingo, let’s go down, let’s go down
Come on down
O, dingo, let’s go down, down in the river to pray

Liberty's Edge

Copy/Pasted from Wikipedia:

[edit] 2000 to present
Main article: Christianity in the 21st century
See also: Timeline of Christianity#21st century
2000 - Asia College of Ministry (ACOM), a ministry of Asia Evangelistic Fellowship (AEF), was launched by Jonathan James, to train national missionaries in Asia.
2001 - New Tribes Missionaries Martin and Gracia Burnham are kidnapped in the Philippines by Muslim terrorist group; Baptist missionary Roni Bowers and her infant daughter are killed when a Peruvian Air Force jet fires on their small float-plane. Though severely wounded in both legs, missionary pilot Kevin Donaldson landed the burning plane on the Amazon River.
2003 - Publication of Back To Jerusalem Called to Complete the Great Commission - Three Chinese Church Leaders with Paul Hattaway brings Chinese and Korean mission movement to forefront; Coptic priest Fr. Zakaria Botros begins his television and internet mission to Muslims in North Africa, the Middle East, Central Asia, and western countries, resulting in thousands of conversions.
2004 - Four Southern Baptist missionaries are killed by gunman in Iraq
2006 - Abdul Rahman, an Afghan Christian convert, is forced out of Afghanistan by local Muslim leaders and exiled to Italy. Missionary Vijay Kumar is publicly stoned by Hindu extremists for Christian preaching.
2007 Kriol Bible completed, the first translation of the entire Bible into an Australian indigenous language[385]

The Exchange

yellowdingo, jr. wrote:

Who da Big Dog?

yellowdingo da Big Dog!

Sho Nuff!

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Holy troll thread. Let's jump on the bandwagon and bash the evil Christians with all their mercy and forgiveness. How unthinkable of them.


No, no. Not bash. Impale.

The Exchange

Just don't feed the dogs,,,, um trolls and life goes on.


Andrew Turner wrote:
Then there's Alaska...

Hehehe.

Shadow Lodge

Charlie Bell wrote:
Holy troll thread. Let's jump on the bandwagon and bash the evil Christians with all their mercy and forgiveness. How unthinkable of them.

Mercy and Forgiveness? 3 words: Salem Witch Trials.


Charlie Bell wrote:
Holy troll thread. Let's jump on the bandwagon and bash the evil Christians with all their mercy and forgiveness. How unthinkable of them.

Why the hell do people get so frickin mortified about everything?

Dude, some of the people posting humor in here are Christians.


Dragonborn3 wrote:
Charlie Bell wrote:
Holy troll thread. Let's jump on the bandwagon and bash the evil Christians with all their mercy and forgiveness. How unthinkable of them.
Mercy and Forgiveness? 3 words: Salem Witch Trials.

Ahhhhh.

It's always good time for a mob.


Dragonborn3 wrote:
Mercy and Forgiveness? 3 words: Salem Witch Trials.

4 words: Over three centuries ago. If we're going to bear grudges over something that happened so long ago, I guess America should still have ill feelings towards the Japanese and Germans. Hell, we should still hate the Brits. ;)


[ronnie james dio] if you listen to fools ... the mob rules! [/ronnie james dio]

Liberty's Edge

Kruelaid wrote:
Charlie Bell wrote:
Holy troll thread. Let's jump on the bandwagon and bash the evil Christians with all their mercy and forgiveness. How unthinkable of them.

Why the hell do people get so frickin mortified about everything?

Dude, some of the people posting humor in here are Christians.

Where? Where? I got a hungry tiger.

Liberty's Edge

I've got a home in Gloryland that (clap) outshines the sun, (Oh, Lordy)
I've got a home in Gloryland that (clap) outshines the sun,
I've got a home in Gloryland that (clap) outshines the sun,
Look away beond the blue.

Do Lord, oh, do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Do Lord, oh, do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Look away beond the blue.

I took Jesus as my Savior, (clap) you take him too, (Oh, Lordy)
I took Jesus as my Savior, (clap) you take him too,
I took Jesus as my Savior, (clap) you take him too,
While he's calling you.

Do Lord, oh, do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Do Lord, oh, do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Do Lord, oh, do Lord, oh, do remember me,
Look away beond the blue.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Well one upshot of this thread is that I discovered Heathy's knowledge of hymnody.

Liberty's Edge

I wandered so aimless life filed with sin
I wouldn't let my dear saviour in
Then jesus came like a stranger in the night
Praise the lord I saw the light.

Chorus
I saw the light I saw the light
no more darkness no more night
Now I'm so happy no sorrow in sight
Praise the lord I saw the light.

Just like a blind man I wandered along
Worries and fears I claimed for my own
Then like the blind man that God gave back his sight
Praise the lord I saw the light.

Chorus

I was a fool to wander and astray
Straight is the gate and narrow the way
Now I have traded the wrong for the right
Praise the lord I saw the light.


Heathansson wrote:

I wandered so aimless life filed with sin

I wouldn't let my dear saviour in
Then jesus came like a stranger in the night

Show of hands if your mind went to the wrong place?

*raises hand*

...

...

Ok so it's just me. I'll get my coat...

The Exchange

Here you go. Don't forget your claim ticket.

:P


<pushes out of zeppelin>

[indiana jones] No ticket. [/indiana jones]

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Heath, you win for all time. You have invented the /hymnjack.


Placing odds that Heathy will submit that to the urban dictionary.

Liberty's Edge

Charlie Bell wrote:
Heath, you win for all time. You have invented the /hymnjack.

Stop it. You'll give stained overcoat ideas.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Oscar Wilde

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