Man that Jackinape sure does a good job of bodyguarding. We should have him do some raids with us to get more likker!
Prepare the hot oil! I'll need a rubdown after the Viking Kittens are 'relocated' to Hungry Jack's stewpot.Viking Kittens stew? Yuck, I'll pass on that.
Oh, it's good. As always when used in a Hungry Jack recipe. (gotta learn how to use the trademark symbol.) We serve it in their little helmets instead of bread bowls.
Jikes... we are already past the 2,000 posts... whatta chatty Club house! Now I'll have to kick the cartoonist butt harder to get the comemrative comic strip sooner.
Cheers for 2,000 post and 2,000 more!
Ack! It was some peasant that made the 2000th post!
I demand a recount!
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Let's celebrate with some....
Chocolate 'Tato Cake
Ingredients:
CAKE
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
• 1 cup Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 1 cup boiling water
• 1 3/4 cups Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose Flour
• 1 1/4 cups sugar
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
OR 1/2 cup Crisco® Butter Shortening
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 3 large eggs
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional)
•
GLAZE
• 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
• 3 tablespoons water
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 350°F. Spray a 12-cup fluted tube pan or 10-inch tube pan with no-stick cooking spray.
2. BREAK 4 oz. chocolate into pieces. Place in large bowl. Add potato flakes. Pour boiling water over flakes and chocolate. Let stand 5 minutes or until potato flakes are softened and chocolate is melted. Stir to combine.
3. SPOON flour lightly into measuring cup. Level off. Add flour and all remaining cake ingredients, except pecans, to potato flake mixture. Blend at low speed until moistened. Beat 3 minutes at medium speed. Stir in pecans, if desired. Pour batter into prepared pan.
4. BAKE 45 to 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool upright in pan for 30 minutes. Invert onto serving plate. Cool 1 hour or until completely cooled.
5. MELT 4 oz. chocolate with 3 tablespoons water and 1 tablespoon butter in small saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat. Add powdered sugar and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until smooth. Stir in additional water, a few drops at a time if needed, for desired glaze consistency. Immediately spoon glaze over cooled cake, allowing some to run down sides.
TIP High Altitude: Decrease sugar to 1 cup. Bake as directed above.
Yield: 12 servings
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 1 hrs
Does anyone else notice how it says there's one more post than there actually is?
Does anyone else notice how it says there's one more post than there actually is?
How did that zombie get in here again?
If he doesn't fix it soon, I'll have to delete my posts and unleash the Ape.
Unleash the ape on the peasant. $#@%&% got the 2000th post
If he doesn't fix it soon, I'll have to delete my posts and unleash the Ape.Unleash the ape on the peasant. $#@%&% got the 2000th post
RECOUNT! RECOUNT! RECOUNT!
Peasants can't count that high so he may never know. And if Jackin'Ape makes him 'disappear' he can't be commemorated in the comic strip.
Unless he's the center of a 'drawn' and quartered segment. Hmmm...
If he doesn't fix it soon, I'll have to delete my posts and unleash the Ape.Unleash the ape on the peasant. $#@%&% got the 2000th postRECOUNT! RECOUNT! RECOUNT!
Peasants can't count that high so he may never know. And if Jackin'Ape makes him 'disappear' he can't be commemorated in the comic strip.
Unless he's the center of a 'drawn' and quartered segment. Hmmm...
I'm sure I can get a few ponies.. er, i mean horses.. to draw and quarter the peasants.. or anyone else for that matter..
In the giant primordial forest on the Jack estate, Jackin Ape pauses, midbranch. He sniffs the air. Something is wrong in the club house. He quickly does a one-handed turn and begins swinging his way back to the house. He grows in size and savageness as he approaches the house. By the time he arrives, the only portal large enough for him is the giant bay window of the morning room. The ape smashes through the window, howling with rage rather than pain: for he has scented zombie, and among his long list of bitter hatreds, the undead have a place. Smash he must. Smash he will.
I'm sure I can get a few ponies.. er, i mean horses.. to draw and quarter the peasants.. or anyone else for that matter..If he doesn't fix it soon, I'll have to delete my posts and unleash the Ape.Unleash the ape on the peasant. $#@%&% got the 2000th postRECOUNT! RECOUNT! RECOUNT!
Peasants can't count that high so he may never know. And if Jackin'Ape makes him 'disappear' he can't be commemorated in the comic strip.
Unless he's the center of a 'drawn' and quartered segment. Hmmm...
And any spies, thieves, or enemies we stumble across...
In the giant primordial forest on the Jack estate, Jackin Ape pauses, midbranch. He sniffs the air. Something is wrong in the club house. He quickly does a one-handed turn and begins swinging his way back to the house. He grows in size and savageness as he approaches the house. By the time he arrives, the only portal large enough for him is the giant bay window of the morning room. The ape smashes through the window, howling with rage rather than pain: for he has scented zombie, and among his long list of bitter hatreds, the undead have a place. Smash he must. Smash he will.
uh oh. somebody's gonna get a whoopin'
With a deftness that could hardly be believed with such a large hand, the ape fetches the precious cookbook from his unholy hands and carefully places it back on the top shelf of his kitchen. With the other hand, he then pulls the zombie out of the kitchen and into the morning room. He proceeds to fully jack him up, gorilla-style. Smears color the walls as he moves in a whirlwind of rage. Body parts and decaying gore splatter the room's fine furnishings.
With a bone-rattling roar, he springs to the shattered window ledge, where the bench seat has shattered under his massive bulk, and hurls the zombie's skull at the sun.
In the giant primordial forest on the Jack estate, Jackin Ape pauses, midbranch. He sniffs the air. Something is wrong in the club house. He quickly does a one-handed turn and begins swinging his way back to the house. He grows in size and savageness as he approaches the house. By the time he arrives, the only portal large enough for him is the giant bay window of the morning room. The ape smashes through the window, howling with rage rather than pain: for he has scented zombie, and among his long list of bitter hatreds, the undead have a place. Smash he must. Smash he will.
Oh dear. Ah bettar fix up thet peasant.
True Resurrection!
With a deftness that could hardly be believed with such a large hand, the ape fetches the precious cookbook from his unholy hands and carefully places it back on the top shelf of his kitchen. With the other hand, he then pulls the zombie out of the kitchen and into the morning room. He proceeds to fully jack him up, gorilla-style. Smears color the walls as he moves in a whirlwind of rage. Body parts and decaying gore splatter the room's fine furnishings.
With a bone-rattling roar, he springs to the shattered window ledge, where the bench seat has shattered under his massive bulk, and hurls the zombie's skull at the sun.
Looks like that will be the end of that zombie. That was a Texas sized @$$ whoopin' right there.
Looks like that will be the end of that zombie. That was a Texas sized @$$ whoopin' right there.With a deftness that could hardly be believed with such a large hand, the ape fetches the precious cookbook from his unholy hands and carefully places it back on the top shelf of his kitchen. With the other hand, he then pulls the zombie out of the kitchen and into the morning room. He proceeds to fully jack him up, gorilla-style. Smears color the walls as he moves in a whirlwind of rage. Body parts and decaying gore splatter the room's fine furnishings.
With a bone-rattling roar, he springs to the shattered window ledge, where the bench seat has shattered under his massive bulk, and hurls the zombie's skull at the sun.
Hmm. Well, mah oath don't extend to da undead.
Now ta go resurrect dem kittens dat was kill'd in da battle, an' da wasp...tahm ta put an end ta all dis foolishness.
In the giant primordial forest on the Jack estate, Jackin Ape pauses, midbranch. He sniffs the air. Something is wrong in the club house. He quickly does a one-handed turn and begins swinging his way back to the house. He grows in size and savageness as he approaches the house. By the time he arrives, the only portal large enough for him is the giant bay window of the morning room. The ape smashes through the window, howling with rage rather than pain: for he has scented zombie, and among his long list of bitter hatreds, the undead have a place. Smash he must. Smash he will.
Oh dear. Ah bettar fix up thet peasant.
True Resurrection!
Hopefully the peasant, recently brought back to life by insertion into the Frog Pond, will decide that he likes his new home better than sleeping under the floorboards of the Jacks' Den.
Looks like that will be the end of that zombie. That was a Texas sized @$$ whoopin' right there.With a deftness that could hardly be believed with such a large hand, the ape fetches the precious cookbook from his unholy hands and carefully places it back on the top shelf of his kitchen. With the other hand, he then pulls the zombie out of the kitchen and into the morning room. He proceeds to fully jack him up, gorilla-style. Smears color the walls as he moves in a whirlwind of rage. Body parts and decaying gore splatter the room's fine furnishings.
With a bone-rattling roar, he springs to the shattered window ledge, where the bench seat has shattered under his massive bulk, and hurls the zombie's skull at the sun.Hmm. Well, mah oath don't extend to da undead.
Now ta go resurrect dem kittens dat was kill'd in da battle, an' da wasp...tahm ta put an end ta all dis foolishness.
I don't know...true Vikings might not enjoy being brought back...
I don't know...true Vikings might not enjoy being brought back...Looks like that will be the end of that zombie. That was a Texas sized @$$ whoopin' right there.With a deftness that could hardly be believed with such a large hand, the ape fetches the precious cookbook from his unholy hands and carefully places it back on the top shelf of his kitchen. With the other hand, he then pulls the zombie out of the kitchen and into the morning room. He proceeds to fully jack him up, gorilla-style. Smears color the walls as he moves in a whirlwind of rage. Body parts and decaying gore splatter the room's fine furnishings.
With a bone-rattling roar, he springs to the shattered window ledge, where the bench seat has shattered under his massive bulk, and hurls the zombie's skull at the sun.Hmm. Well, mah oath don't extend to da undead.
Now ta go resurrect dem kittens dat was kill'd in da battle, an' da wasp...tahm ta put an end ta all dis foolishness.
Mahbe, but Ah could care leass. It's mah duty ta protect all livin' critters o' da Board, and Ah'm gonna do that.
Happy 2,000th post, Jacks. I know that we tend to be at odds, especially when it comes to the Kittens, but you seem to be more sane than most cults...not that that's saying much.
And don't bother attacking me, ape. I have a Anti-Ape Field at the moment. New spell.
Happy 2,000th post, Jacks. I know that we tend to be at odds, especially when it comes to the Kittens, but you seem to be more sane than most cults...not that that's saying much.
And don't bother attacking me, ape. I have a Anti-Ape Field at the moment. New spell.
Thanks! ....I think.
Happy 2,000th post, Jacks. I know that we tend to be at odds, especially when it comes to the Kittens, but you seem to be more sane than most cults...not that that's saying much.
And don't bother attacking me, ape. I have a Anti-Ape Field at the moment. New spell.
Be wary of the horned horses.
...No, they're not unicorns.. sure they're small.. but they're horses.. not ponies at all..
Thanks! ....I think.Happy 2,000th post, Jacks. I know that we tend to be at odds, especially when it comes to the Kittens, but you seem to be more sane than most cults...not that that's saying much.
And don't bother attacking me, ape. I have a Anti-Ape Field at the moment. New spell.
That's alright, I forgive you.
;)
The ape's heaving chest slows, and he surveys the damage he has wrought in the morning room. One of Panama Jack's expedition canoes, which used to hang from the ceiling, has been knocked down to he floor. The custom 500 gallon fish tank that used to grace the back wall is shattered, and its contents have poured unto the recessed marble floor where it has mixed with the zombie gore. Jackin's exceptional hearing picks up a shrill piping sound. He looks down and sees a reptile waving a shiny little stick at him and jabbering excitedly. He chuckles to himself, picks up the lizard gently between his pinkie and his thumb, and gently sets him down in the canoe. He purses his lips and begins pushing the canoe around the room with the back of his hand, while making low motoring sounds.
Wow. Impressive. Not even Sharoth can stand up to the Ape.
Actually, that's not saying much.
*Chuckles*
Motoring the boat around the room smoothly, the ape positions the canoe, aiming it at the window. Without warning, he shoves the canoe forward, shooting it out the window, across the lawn, and over the wrought iron fence to points unknown. The ape waves good-bye to the lizard sailor-turned-rocketeer, and begins looking for Hungry Jack to get his treat.
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Chocolate 'Tato Cake
Ingredients:
CAKE
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
• 1 cup Hungry Jack® Mashed Potatoes, flakes
• 1 cup boiling water
• 1 3/4 cups Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose Flour
• 1 1/4 cups sugar
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
OR 1/2 cup Crisco® Butter Shortening
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 3 large eggs
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional)
•
GLAZE
• 4 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
• 3 tablespoons water
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 350°F. Spray a 12-cup fluted tube pan or 10-inch tube pan with no-stick cooking spray.
2. BREAK 4 oz. chocolate into pieces. Place in large bowl. Add potato flakes. Pour boiling water over flakes and chocolate. Let stand 5 minutes or until potato flakes are softened and chocolate is melted. Stir to combine.
3. SPOON flour lightly into measuring cup. Level off. Add flour and all remaining cake ingredients, except pecans, to potato flake mixture. Blend at low speed until moistened. Beat 3 minutes at medium speed. Stir in pecans, if desired. Pour batter into prepared pan.
4. BAKE 45 to 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool upright in pan for 30 minutes. Invert onto serving plate. Cool 1 hour or until completely cooled.
5. MELT 4 oz. chocolate with 3 tablespoons water and 1 tablespoon butter in small saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat. Add powdered sugar and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until smooth. Stir in additional water, a few drops at a time if needed, for desired glaze consistency. Immediately spoon glaze over cooled cake, allowing some to run down sides.
TIP High Altitude: Decrease sugar to 1 cup. Bake as directed above.
Yield: 12 servings
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 1 hrs
Yay! Hungry Jack is back! Now we gets to eat!
Sorry about the mess HJ. Jackin'Ape had to 'remove' a certain zombie that was trying to impersonate you. That Ape sure does enjoy his work.
Reaches out for Chocolate 'Tato Cake, grinning like a giant, hairy, sweet, terrifying baby.
A faint voice calls from under the mess in the Jack's clubhouse
I'm not dead yet! I feel ....happy!
A faint voice calls from under the mess in the Jack's clubhouse
I'm not dead yet! I feel ....happy!
The problem with being resurrected is that Jackin' Ape is going to beat you to death again.
The problem with being resurrected is that Jackin' Ape is going to beat you to death again.A faint voice calls from under the mess in the Jack's clubhouse
I'm not dead yet! I feel ....happy!
That sounds like fun more than a problem :D
*Unleashes the ape on the peasant*
The problem with being resurrected is that Jackin' Ape is going to beat you to death again.A faint voice calls from under the mess in the Jack's clubhouse
I'm not dead yet! I feel ....happy!
That sounds like fun more than a problem :D
*Unleashes the ape on the peasant*
Hey, you're getting your sadistic nature back! You were beginning to worry me there for awhile.
Motoring the boat around the room smoothly, the ape positions the canoe, aiming it at the window. Without warning, he shoves the canoe forward, shooting it out the window, across the lawn, and over the wrought iron fence to points unknown. The ape waves good-bye to the lizard sailor-turned-rocketeer, and begins looking for Hungry Jack to get his treat.
Heh heh. Sharoth needs to be much more careful with his clones.
*Yawns and frowns at Crimson Jester*Why do you keep coming here and annoying people? That's my job!
*Blasts CJ with enough electricity to power five cities*
Jackin Ape hears the call of his "masters" (to the extent that anyone could claim to master such a beast), and finishes wiping his chocolate covered maw on a clump of leaves. He swings down to the ground, and comes running on all fours, until he gets to the former location of the bay window, where he hops into the house and goes on his back feet. Seeing the thief with the watermelons who has stolen some of PJ's Black Seal rum and wildly underestimated his preternatural sense of smell, he leaps over, grabs the melons and force-feeds them to the thief. He leaves the choking thief to be electrocuted by the returned lizard. He then begins sorting throw the wreckage, following the faint sound of the peasant. He plucks him out and begins to use him as a rag to clean up the mess in the morning room. He swabs floor, ceiling, and walls with the peasant. Whenever the peasant seems to be as dirty and wet as he can get, he takes the peasant outside and wrings him out, returning to continue his cleaning. When the cleaning is done, Jackin takes the peasant outside (where all refuse belongs) to the compost heap behind the garden. There he begins digging a hole with the help of the poodles. Once he has a respectable pit, he drops the limp and broken body of the peasant into it, pushes the pile of dirt over onto him, and directs the poodles to filler work and bathroom business. He then leisurely toddles into the garden and immerses himself in the great central fountain. When he's clean, he comes back, scoops up the importunate kobold, and takes him up into his treehouse to "play". The shrieks of the kobold and laughing hoots of the gorilla create eine kleine nachtmusik, Jack-style, for the entertainment of the residents.
Wow did you manage to kill Another Of my clones already? Bad form.
Sparkles and his hairs stand up
~Ow you mangy little flea bitten scaled rodent I was not trying to "bug" anyone, That is your job
Falls over in a heep showering sparks eveywhere
Hmm. I sense something amiss that has to do with this moron.
*Searches memories of CJ to find out what's the matter*Oh crap. Jacks, you're short a member.
The symphony continues until the kobold won't make anymore music. His body is then flopped over the fence into the alley. Hearing the thief talking to his dead clone in the house, he returns. He seizes up both the limp form and the erect form as if they are dolls. He makes them dance. He makes them "kiss". Once the noisy one quits yelling out and he goes as limp as the other doll, the ape tosses them both outside in the alley with the kobold. He then stands guard in front of the window, as it is apparently letting in unwanted guests.
The symphony continues until the kobold won't make anymore music. His body is then flopped over the fence into the alley. Hearing the thief talking to his dead clone in the house, he returns. He seizes up both the limp form and the erect form as if they are dolls. He makes them dance. He makes them "kiss". Once the noisy one quits yelling out and he goes as limp as the other doll, the ape tosses them both outside in the alley with the kobold. He then stands guard in front of the window, as it is apparently letting in unwanted guests.
Hmm. I hope that Cousin Joe is alright, if he dies then he'll get resurrected.
Jacks, you should probably tell your ape to stop attacking me at every turn. Eventually, another war will break out if you don't.Now, I think it might be wise to go and find Plantjack.
Walks in wearing overalls and safety goggles, a belt of tools, and begins nailing lumber over the hole.
That's a good ape, there Jacking. You stay put while I patch up this hole until the construction crew can arrive tomorrow morning. You just keep an eye on that ghost of a kobold who's talking to himself outside while I finish up here.
Continues hammering.
Puts on his ghost touch gauntlets and refuses to let the shade pass until he gets the OK from the Jack-in-charge.
Walks in wearing overalls and safety goggles, a belt of tools, and begins nailing lumber over the hole.
That's a good ape, there Jacking. You stay put while I patch up this hole until the construction crew can arrive tomorrow morning. You just keep an eye on that ghost of a kobold who's talking to himself outside while I finish up here.
Continues hammering.
*Groans*
Oh crap, Joe is dead? Now he's gonna be resurrected! You foolish ape!And, is ANYBODY going to go get Plantjack's body?
I say, Reggie, Ape, good show. Still, things seem rather balmier than usual around the clubhouse.
(Edit) What are you yammering about there, my little draconic friend?