Looks out from his office window
Man, I am going to have to get some security out front. This franchise is in a rough neighborhood!
Dials a number on the Holy Ghost Sidekick.
Sorry, but our jurisdiction does not cover the neighborhood you have chosen to construct your establishment in. We advise that you seek out your local elemental fiends to arrange a protection contract.
closes the connection
Looks at the phone. Shrugs. Dials another number
Yeah, General Chaos? Big Stevie here. Got a situation over at the new franchise. Uh huh. Yeah some undesirables hanging about scaring the customers. Uh huh. Yeah had some commandos, but they got taken on a tour of the Abyss, and now they're locked in the back still shell shocked. Uh huh. You think you could send a detachment of the Swiss Cheese Guards over? Un huh. No no, they can bivouac right over by the dumpsters for a while, call it 'Urban riot field training'. And make sure they are wearing those Dimensional anchor riot helmets. Uh huh. Ok, I'll be expecting them. Yep, Semper Parmigianus to you too. Buh bye.
Flips off cell phone and hums to himself as he does paperwork and demolishes his fourth Double Bacon Explosion™ of the day
Does your temple condone promiscuity?
Does your temple condone promiscuity?
I do, O h I sooooooooooooooooooooooooo do
Oh that no longer works, thank the kobold for me.
Oh that no longer works, thank the kobold for me.
He's exaggerating. He just stole my spellbook.
Think one of you could get it back please? It was my favorite.
Sure, I am done with it anyhow. I even colored the pictures for you.
Oh and i added a few more spell to it for ya
A ringing from a distance fills the area as a faint “It is done” follows
A ringing from a distance fills the area as a faint “It is done” follows
Dammit! I was afraid of this. The 444th layer is now on the Board.
*the skull says, while magically erasing the demon's added spells*
Gaaaaarrrrrrrr!
But i added useful spell...
*Summon tribble I-VII
*Summon stripper I-IV
*Mystic ho-down
*Tap dancing ninja's
*Summon clown I&II
*Circle of Instantaneous fiery death
*Summon booze elemental I
I even added the Power Ranger mystic force transformation spell
I tell ya you just can't do people favors
But i added useful spell...
*Summon tribble I-VII
*Summon stripper I-IV
*Mystic ho-down
*Tap dancing ninja's
*Summon clown I&II
*Circle of Instantaneous fiery death
*Summon booze elemental I
I even added the Power Ranger mystic force transformation spellI tell ya you just can't do people favors
Summon Clown? Even for me that's just, just Eeevil. Good work.
Thank you goddess I try
Sighs at all the confusion and rioting outside
Well, I tried, but I think this franchise is a losing proposition.
Dials his Holy Ghost Sidekick
Yeah, Harry? Yeah I'm bailing on this location. Yeah, I'm getting a lot of complaints, tribble terrorists, rogue god-modders. Yeah, I'm gonna head out towards Arcturus. Yeah. No biggy, plenty of franchise opportunities. Yeah, trigger the bailout clause, transfer title back to the Elder Eye Cult, call in the Combat Engineers and strip this dump out. Yeah I'm done.
Packs up papers, gets in PopeForce One and takes off towards the stratosphere.
Uweeheehee!
Runs by, having escaped from Hol yet again, and starts defacing the walls with bizarre chaotic symbols that'd give a Slaad a headache
|
I've got a moathouse I can sell you. It's a fixer-upper, and the basement's full of ghouls... but you should hear the frogs sing at night!
Doesn't Paul McCartney live there?
Bom bom bom (aeyah)
Bom bom bom (aeyah)
Bom bom bom (aeyah)
Bombombombombombom.....
Suddenly, a small army of zombies walks into the thread. They begin searching, for..something.
A skinny man dressed in fool's motley comes skipping into the weed-choked parking lot outside the ruined temple. He picks up something near the sewer grate and places it in a basket on his arm.
Tralaa tralee ...
Let's see what we can see!
Observing the many zombies wandering around the grounds, he capers and laughs
It's a dead man's party,
Who could ask for more,
Everybody's comin',
leave your body at the door!
The skinny man raises his arms and makes like a zombie, staggering into the ruin. He follows the trail of squished revenants until he reaches the dias with the water sphere. The many zombies don't seem to pay any attention to him. He sees the revolving sphere and giggles to himself
Water rolling back and forth
A clever joke I think.
Water water everywhere,
But not a drop to drink!
He leaps onto the dias and grabs the sphere. The water collapses, running down his arms until it flows into his laughing mouth. The entire sphere disappears within the laughing figure. He gurgles, his voice much more watery.
Blub blub blub
There was a fool in a tub
He drank his wine
Was feeling fine
'Till he slipped on his soapy scrub!
The figure hops and dances along the corridors, eventually emerging and skipping offscene.
A group of ragged carnies and freaks arrive trough a portal, led by a harlequin in motley.
"Aha! Hooray! The battle nears
And heroes will shed such sweet tears
I'll take my knife and carve new smiles
On all the corpses that I pile."
A small marble rolls in. It is not hindered by the wards.
"I would watch your step, Serefina. You won't survive this battle."
Innocent Blood laughs and throws a bolt of energy at the marble, blasting him from the thread.
Away orb, your nattering annoys me ...
Innocent Blood laughs and throws a bolt of energy at the marble, blasting him from the thread.
Away orb, your nattering annoys me ...
The orb goes darkest black, and the bolt is sucked into it.
"I am more powerful than ever before. Beware, Innocent Blood."It pauses for a moment.
"Hmm. May as well."
Suddenly, there is a flash. When it clears, a familiar lich is standing there, a red glint in its eye.
"That's better."
He vanishes.
The Pigeons also charge, flying on magical ferryboats and iron contraptions.
The hulking form of the Steel Tsar emerges in a burst of green light, carrying the crying form of Margarinefrog. The assmebled Army of the Damned and the Army of the Freaks watch as he chains the small amphibian to the ancient blood-stained altar of the Elder Elemental Eye.
Innocent Blood advances to the altar, a large ritual dagger clenched in her small fist. She addresses the assembled armies
MY FAITHFUL LEGIONS! TODAY WE BRING DEATH TO THE GREEN! TODAY WE BREAK THE CYCLE AND BRING FORTH THE NEW AGE OF THE KALIYOG! TODAY IS THE DAY ...
The assembled armies roar and bang weapons on their armor.
Innocent Blood advances to the crying frog
INNOCENT BLOOD SHED IN THE NAME OF INNOCENT BLOOD! FOR THE KALIYOG!
The assembled horde screams and hisses:
The dagger falls and a small frog cries his last. As he dies a huge green portal opens, revealing the Fields of Roleplay
The Steel Tsar unsheathes his Greatsword and roars
The two armies roar and advance through the portal
A raven flies in to view the wreckage. He regards the remains of the small frog.
"Hmm...there was no need for it to die."
Part of me weeps for the inability of our forces to turn their destruction on the forces of good and life, but at the same time any destruction is fun destruction.
Play on, fools!
Part of me weeps for the inability of our forces to turn their destruction on the forces of good and life, but at the same time any destruction is fun destruction.
Play on, fools!
"AT least they were beaten."