Anyone Want to Join?


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Greeting everyone,

I am starting up a new Face-to-Face peer networking group. We believe that the four elements that make up all things must be controlled in order for people to be happy.

Some of the things our group is planning include: weekly worship, involving ourselves in the community for the betterment of all, promoting the care and nurturing of animals, procuring support from beautiful people to promote our cause, and location and construction of a new Temple, preferably somewhere pastoral, quiet and quaint.

A potential member must be committed, recognize their prime driving element, be willing to spend long hours in service, be willing to work with extraordinary people, and be able to work with rare or unusual creatures.

If you are at all interest, please reply in this thread and we can begin the process.

Best wished,

I. ;)

This is a joke.


Elder Elemental Eye wrote:

Greeting everyone,

I am starting up a new Face-to-Face peer networking group. We believe that the four elements that make up all things must be controlled in order for people to be happy.

Some of the things our group is planning include: weekly worship, involving ourselves in the community for the betterment of all, promoting the care and nurturing of animals, procuring support from beautiful people to promote our cause, and location and construction of a new Temple, preferably somewhere pastoral, quiet and quaint.

A potential member must be committed, recognize their prime driving element, be willing to spend long hours in service, be willing to work with extraordinary people, and be able to work with rare or unusual creatures.

If you are at all interest, please reply in this thread and we can begin the process.

Best wished,

I. ;)

This is a joke.

Its a good thing that you told me its a joke. I know people who's beliefs and values are not far from this.

The Exchange

Ooh a cult...neato.

And they have a nifty little rural compound...now all they need is FBI and a dozen Television Cameras to report the Massacre.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

Soooooo tempted to move this thread to the Gamer Connection forum....

Scarab Sages

I know of some land in the back country of Southern California. The compound was abandoned several years ago by some other group. I think their leader went by the name of Manson, or something similar.

;)

Liberty's Edge

I would love to have a house in the middle of Denali where friends would snowmachine or hike in about twice a month, we play a little D&D over Cappuccinos, and feed the moose and ravens old loaves of bread.

Boy, do I miss Alaska... :-(


I would, but I refuse to join any group that would accept me as a member.

Liberty's Edge

You are a member, whether you admit it or not.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Applauds for the Woody Allan reference.

-W. E. Ray


You forgot to insult my avatar. How can I possibly take you seriously when you make such a grave oversight? You’re slipping.

Liberty's Edge

Molech wrote:

Applauds for the Woody Allan reference.

-W. E. Ray

Groucho beat him to the punch.

Liberty's Edge

CourtFool wrote:
You forgot to insult my avatar. How can I possibly take you seriously when you make such a grave oversight? You’re slipping.

You're right. I'm washed up.

Accordion gigs and fireeating for bar mitzvah's is all I'm good for anymore.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

You know, I thought about that, that Allan always said that it was a Groucho joke; he even begins it, There's an old Groucho joke... -- but I'm a Woody Allan nut.

It's a Woody Allan Joke to me.


Heathansson wrote:
You're right. I'm washed up.

Well, now…I did not say that. Hey, at least you are not whapping me with fresh fish. See? You still have some talent.


CourtFool wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
You're right. I'm washed up.
Well, now…I did not say that. Hey, at least you are not whapping me with fresh fish. See? You still have some talent.

Oh CourtFool! You are welcome to join this group! ~sharpens my knife and whispers~ Yes! Fresh Llama is back on the menu!


Our group welcomes dissention in the ranks. It encourages a survival of the fittest mentality. Just so long as nobody helps any outsiders pretending to join only to destroy us.

The Exchange

Heathansson wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
You forgot to insult my avatar. How can I possibly take you seriously when you make such a grave oversight? You’re slipping.

You're right. I'm washed up.

Accordion gigs and fireeating for bar mitzvah's is all I'm good for anymore.

You, um you play the Accordion? Zydeco right :)

The Exchange

Crimson Jester wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
You forgot to insult my avatar. How can I possibly take you seriously when you make such a grave oversight? You’re slipping.

You're right. I'm washed up.

Accordion gigs and fireeating for bar mitzvah's is all I'm good for anymore.
You, um you play the Accordion? Zydeco right :)

See that...I cant even start my own church. Curse you Gary Teter for foiling my insideous plan.

The Exchange

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Our group welcomes dissention in the ranks. It encourages a survival of the fittest mentality. Just so long as nobody helps any outsiders pretending to join only to destroy us.

Dissention in the ranks? Try a Rival Church.

Spoiler:

Welcome to the Church of The Commonwealth.

Religious Doctrine:

1. String Theory invalidates Religion and Evolution.
2. The Universe is Debris of Change in Possibility.
3. A black hole is an event of change in Possibility affecting outward from source (back and forward through time simultaneously) and a singularity a point of change in Possibility.
5. Time continuous change in possibility.
6. Only life is capable of manipulating possibility and creating change in Possibility and did so from outside the limits of possibility.

Obligations of Church Members:

Church members have a number of obligations.

Ecclesiastical

You must wear a black shirt with a white negative handprint spraypainted onto the cloth (this is achieved by placing hand on cloth with fingers spread and spraying over it with white paint.
To get any schisms out of the way, members are obliged to choose one of two factions. Left Hand or Right Hand. Do try to stick to it. Left Hand Faction cannot associate with right hand Faction inside Church of Commonwealth facilities or at Gaming Conventions.

Political

You have one political Policy - "Every act of Government, Law, Constitution must have the direct and regular approval of every citizen."
You must run for Mayor with this Political policy in your home town.

Membership Fees:

There are no fees.

Something from yellowdingo:

Enjoy life. You have the right to an equal share.

Liberty's Edge

Crimson Jester wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
You forgot to insult my avatar. How can I possibly take you seriously when you make such a grave oversight? You’re slipping.

You're right. I'm washed up.

Accordion gigs and fireeating for bar mitzvah's is all I'm good for anymore.
You, um you play the Accordion? Zydeco right :)

"You know what an optimist is?

An accordian player with a beeper."

Jerry Lewis

Liberty's Edge

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Our group welcomes dissention in the ranks. It encourages a survival of the fittest mentality. Just so long as nobody helps any outsiders pretending to join only to destroy us.

Well, what's the point then?


Heathansson wrote:
Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Our group welcomes dissention in the ranks. It encourages a survival of the fittest mentality. Just so long as nobody helps any outsiders pretending to join only to destroy us.
Well, what's the point then?

Well, truth be told, our ultimate goal is trying to get someone out of prison.


>>Elder Elemental Bump<<

Really, no-one's biting?


Elder Elemental Eye wrote:

>>Elder Elemental Bump<<

Really, no-one's biting?

Sharoth's last comment is.


CourtFool wrote:
Elder Elemental Eye wrote:

>>Elder Elemental Bump<<

Really, no-one's biting?

Sharoth's last comment is.

I am not saying our group supports cannibalism, but neither am I condoning it.

I know that might sound Chaotic Evil, but we prefer to think of it as open-minded.


Do members get spiffy uniforms?

Dark Archive

Do you support international agents?


Shadowborn wrote:
Do members get spiffy uniforms?

You may wear whatever pleases you, although we encourage color schemes that match your dominant element (red for fire, blue for water, brown for earth, white for air). In addition, if achieve prominent position, you get a black wrought-iron symbol to wear which identifies you as a member of our order. If your reach an even higher level, you get a nice colored jewel to hang from your symbol that identifies your element!

The Wandering Bard wrote:
Do you support international agents?

Well, currently we are expanding locally, but there is a large city to the east that is renowned for its independence, freedom, stunning architecture and attraction to prominent members of society. We might move there once we get established more.


I wanna join! Whats my Element?


secretturchinman wrote:
I wanna join! Whats my Element?

Assertive, demanding, emphatic. Sounds like Fire to me.

On behalf of the Temple, welcome. I hope you like heat.


The Temple is still recruiting. Please, we would rather have human servants. If no-one else joins, we might have to resort to non-humanoids.

The Exchange

Gary Teter wrote:
Soooooo tempted to move this thread to the Gamer Connection forum....

You should....

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
Gary Teter wrote:
Soooooo tempted to move this thread to the Gamer Connection forum....
You should....

Yes, much better there. It has almost broken though...


Yippee! Count me in, so long as we don't have to wear anything under our robes! I'm (free as the) air!


Nicholas Commando wrote:
Yippee! Count me in, so long as we don't have to wear anything under our robes! I'm (free as the) air!

Ah, good. Now we have a fire member and an air member.

Water and earth are still accepting members!

Liberty's Edge

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Nicholas Commando wrote:
Yippee! Count me in, so long as we don't have to wear anything under our robes! I'm (free as the) air!

Ah, good. Now we have a fire member and an air member.

Water and earth are still accepting members!

I call Earth. Of course, I'm a nonhuman, being draconic.

I look forward to the delivery of self-propelled field rations to my lair.

The Exchange

Um does that then leave Water? What would water get me?


Kassil wrote:
Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Nicholas Commando wrote:
Yippee! Count me in, so long as we don't have to wear anything under our robes! I'm (free as the) air!

Ah, good. Now we have a fire member and an air member.

Water and earth are still accepting members!

I call Earth. Of course, I'm a nonhuman, being draconic.

I look forward to the delivery of self-propelled field rations to my lair.

Dragons are especially welcome amongst our group. May I ask what colour of dragon you are? You are not bound to respond, given current equal opportunity legislation. However, I am allowed to ask you what your alignment is.

So, what's your alignment?


Crimson Jester wrote:
Um does that then leave Water? What would water get me?

Better hope you can work underwater. We have lost a fair number of members trying to construct certain portions of our Temple.

In addition, you get a nice piece of blue crystal to hang from the symbol you will wear as a member of our cult.

Liberty's Edge

Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Elder Elemental Eye wrote:
Nicholas Commando wrote:
Yippee! Count me in, so long as we don't have to wear anything under our robes! I'm (free as the) air!

Ah, good. Now we have a fire member and an air member.

Water and earth are still accepting members!

I call Earth. Of course, I'm a nonhuman, being draconic.

I look forward to the delivery of self-propelled field rations to my lair.

Dragons are especially welcome amongst our group. May I ask what colour of dragon you are? You are not bound to respond, given current equal opportunity legislation. However, I am allowed to ask you what your alignment is.

So, what's your alignment?

True neutral. I do not answer to any moral or ethical rules, be they aligned with Good, Evil, Law, or Chaos. I leave such worries and fidgeting to those who want to spend their existences worrying at frivolous ideals rather than concrete goals.

As to your other question... I am one of the mithril dragons, albiet a rarer-yet subrace of greater overall physical density and psionic, rather than magical, capability.

Further queries should be directed to my profile, first, which contains most pertinent data; if the information therein does not satisfy you, you are free to ask for more details, although I reserve the right to withhold anything I deem sufficiently personal.


Kassil wrote:
Further queries should be directed to my profile, first, which contains most pertinent data…

(laughing) Are you sure you are not 13?


CourtFool wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Further queries should be directed to my profile, first, which contains most pertinent data…
(laughing) Are you sure you are not 13?

It does not matter, such a powerful being in our service means we are INVINCIBLE!

Now that we have each of our servants, we can look for a place for you to live nearby. Our group calls these specially built domeciles "nodes", as they focus your elemental energy and allow us to do great things.


I've got a moathouse I can sell you. It's a fixer-upper, and the basement's full of ghouls... but you should hear the frogs sing at night! And it's just outside of town: perfect for any fledgeling cult.


Kirth Gersen wrote:
I've got a moathouse I can sell you. It's a fixer-upper, and the basement's full of ghouls... but you should hear the frogs sing at night! And it's just outside of town: perfect for any fledgeling cult.

This sounds appealing. As long as the townsfolk don't interfere with our group, we can foresee setting up in such a location.

Now, we still need people to live in the town nearby for us, to "engage" the locals in our goals.

I believe Kirth is holding onto the win for now.


secretturchinman wrote:
I wanna join! Whats my Element?

You can the be the Earl of Sammich! A delectible blend of the Four Elements of Bread, Meat, Lettuce, and Mustard!

The Exchange

um yeah here I was hoping that it would let me swim.....drowning doesn't sound to appealing.

Liberty's Edge

CourtFool wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Further queries should be directed to my profile, first, which contains most pertinent data…
(laughing) Are you sure you are not 13?

Quite sure, thanks. Are you sure you aren't a delicious roast llama?

Spoiler:
You'll notice there's nothing in said profile suggesting that I'm prone to sticking to my bargains, either. I'm in this for the amusement and free food, nothing more.

Besides, my strength pales beside that of the mighty dragon McArtor, and is matched by that /other/ dragon who roams these parts, Sharoth. Don't let their falsehoods of 'lesser' power fool you.


Kirth Gersen wrote:
secretturchinman wrote:
I wanna join! Whats my Element?
You can the be the Earl of Sammich! A delectible blend of the Four Elements of Bread, Meat, Lettuce, and Mustard!

Bread = Earth

Lettuce = Water
Meat = Fire
Mustard = Air

Thus was the sandwich claimed for our purposes. So shall it be consumed on the holy days of our calendar. Let the assembling of the sandwich components be a symbol of the unity of the elements in service to our patron, who is imprisoned.

The Exchange

I would love to apply for a position! I am quite wonderful looking and should help with recruitment possibilities. Something along the lines of 'Air' is what I am thinking, with the way the wind tickles my jibbly-bits with my kilt on.
I am hard working, a real people person, and very self-motivated. People tend to go the extra mile for me with just a flash of a smile, making me a natural leader. I can fake a gentle demeanor very well but I am unmistakable evil. Beautiful but evil.
So are there any openings?


Fake Healer wrote:

I would love to apply for a position! I am quite wonderful looking and should help with recruitment possibilities. Something along the lines of 'Air' is what I am thinking, with the way the wind tickles my jibbly-bits with my kilt on.

I am hard working, a real people person, and very self-motivated. People tend to go the extra mile for me with just a flash of a smile, making me a natural leader. I can fake a gentle demeanor very well but I am unmistakable evil. Beautiful but evil.
So are there any openings?

Hmm. You don't have any debilitating facial scarring, mayhaps?

Because that would certainly help awareness and give us the "look" we want.

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