My wife is 17 weeks pregnant. It is our first child together.. I have a 7 year old daughter that lives with us.
Thursday morning she woke up with body aches.
That night fever...
Friday she slept most of day.. dealing with fever on through night and body aches and vomiting.
Saturday morning... vomiting and finally told by Doc. who all the other tens of times we called - just have to wait it out... - to go to ER.
Multitude of possibilities...
Today.. she had her appendix taken out. Didn't need to.
Possible Heart Failure - Echo machine said that wasn't true...
Two Spinal Tap attempts that failed to get fluid...
So, spinal tap with use of x-ray to find the perfect spot... Which could give radiation to baby - which could cause cancer.. but hey! her spinal fluid looks good.
She's been dehydrated.. hasn't eaten in days.. had fluid on her lungs.. hurts all over and fevers up around 103.6ish almost constantly. She has small reprieves and they know nothing.
They can't figure out what's wrong with her.
She is in the Critical Care Unit and I'm beside her right now.. as I have been since 11amish Sat. morning... she has a catheter in, IVs in both arms.. a breathing tube down her throat (as an hour or so before surgery she started hyperventilation and had to be put on oxygen - after surgery she couldn't breathe on her own..) and they say she could breathe on her own now.. .but don't want to risk having to put it back in during an emergency should she need it.
That may come out in the morning.
She's on morphine and some sedatives and some antibiotics, although they don't know what's wrong with her.
We've had some really nice nurses and doctors which makes the bad ones stand out even more.
Thank God that the baby is still holding very strong. Last check was two hours ago.. ultrasound and heartbeat... very strong very healthy.
Now I just need her to come out of it....She's been a super strong trooper.. I couldn't be more proud of her.
Here's hoping tomorrow brings better news...
We all wish you the best dude. As a new father myself I imagine this has to be pretty damn nerve wracking. Our prayers are with you and we hope all of you come out of this well. Oh, and congrats!
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I'll keep you in my prayers, dude.
My wife had to have her gallbladder out on our first kid at about 5 months pregnant. She had a gallbag full of 20 marble-sized stones. They released her from the E.R. and said if it's a problem come back.
So two days later she couldn't eat an apple without doubling over in pain.
It was a quick surgery, but it was the most nervewracking hour of my life.
Thanks - I had to vent to someone... I don't really have a support network... well.. I do.. but she's laying on the bed.
Her parents have been here.. but I don't want to detract from their feelings... it's weird being deferred to decide to pull her appendix.. just in case.. while they're in the room.
I've just never been in this position... The "comfort" I've gotten from people that have been in similar situations don't seem to be of any help.
It's not like I'm on the verge of breaking down or am overly upset. It's hard.. and it's not a good situation. But, I've just got to vent... you know?
So.. a community that shares a common hobby with me seems like the best way to do it when it's been 23 hours since her last taste of water.
Her lips got so dried out earlier today from lack of fluid 'because they might do surgery' they cracked and bled a little bit. A person can only take so much of that before they grab a +9 scalpel of doctor slaying.. so venting is a good idea.
:D
It is. Thankfully, everything takes a fairly short amount of time. The majority of it is waiting for whatever they're going to do... to happen.
Our hopes, prayers, and wish spells are with you
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It is. Thankfully, everything takes a fairly short amount of time. The majority of it is waiting for whatever they're going to do... to happen.
Yeah; I did nuke med; I do PET scans now...it's like xray except we inject radioactive pharmaceuticals and take pictures.
It's definitely a juggling act to get everything done...
This is not the post you're looking for... carry on, carry on...
Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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If you aren't getting answers ... insist on them! My daughter would never have been born if I hadn't said "We aren't leaving until you tell us what is going on."
I agree 100% with Tarren. YOU are your wife's best advocate while she's out of it. Demand explanations...in detail. You have to be a pretty intelligent fellow to know D&D, so assure the doctors that you can understand big words and concepts, and they can tell you what's up.
Always ask "Why?" especially if your spidey-sense is tingling and telling you something does not make sense to you.
My son was born with a congenital heart defect. He had a heart transplant at 12 days old. My wife and I were right there at the doctors' sides in EVERY staff conversation, EVERY decision, asking questions, with me telling many a doctor, "You know, I have a Master's degree in science. I CAN understand you. Tell me the options."
That's YOUR wife there. Make that staff pass every decision, every option, by you first, and make them explain their decisions. It's all about respect.
Go get 'em Tiger.
(and adding more here): Get a notebook, paper, whatever. Write down your questions as they come to you. That way, when you get a good doctor or nurse that is worth their weight, you have everything down and won't forget something that was bothering you a few hours ago, but has since left your mind...
Multitude of possibilities...Today.. she had her appendix taken out. Didn't need to.
Possible Heart Failure - Echo machine said that wasn't true...
Two Spinal Tap attempts that failed to get fluid...So, spinal tap with use of x-ray to find the perfect spot... Which could give radiation to baby - which could cause cancer.. but hey! her spinal fluid looks good.
Hang in there, man. And on the bright side, it sounds like they've ruled out some pretty scary stuff, so you have that to be glad of, at least.
I really hope things turn around for her.
Best of luck, Paul. Hope they find out what's wrong.
Don't forget to relax, and breathe. Be calm. Give yourself a time budget for worrying. Worry for x minutes, thinking about the problem, then stop worrying, and relax, and think about something else for a while. Get backup. Call a friend, (The one who always gives good advice.) and get them to come and help you out. Men tend to want to find solutions to problems. Women tend to want to communicate the problem, to gain help and reinforce empathy. Your mind will scratch and gnaw at this problem, and that will get in the way.
Don't forget to relax, and breathe.
Love, Taliesin.
Thanks a lot guys. It helps.
Yeah, they've been really good about explaining in as much detail as I ask.. The second spinal tap with xray we deff. went back and forth until they finally informed me the benefit. I was under the impression that if it was bacteria in her spine.. she gets the antibodies.. which she was hooked up to. If it was viral in her spine.. she rides it out.
Why risk it? Finally got them to say the magic words.. "We would add this antibody and steroids"
That's all I wanted...
But, yeah... I like to try and fix it. I like the tests that are quick and decisive.
It's about 3am now... and the doc on call tonight decided that since he hasn't dealt with her.. he'd rather leave in her breathing tube until the doc we have dealt with comes in between 8 and 10.
That's been uncomfortable for her... but they've given her morphine and she seems fine.
She's always disliked needles.. never spent the night in a hospital.. sure she's had a broken arm, stitches... that sort of thing.. but nothing bad.. now she's had overnight stays and the some of the worst things thrown at her.
The worst part... she got put under thinking... they'll do surgery.. i'll feel better... she wakes up with ivs in both arms and a breathing tube suddenly sticking out of her.
I finally got them to understand they will not restrain her arms any longer which didn't take long... just now thinking to vent about it - apparently they restrain when they put in the breathing tube. Don't want them waking up and pulling it out out of reflex. Well... she's good enough to put up with it... she doesn't need to be tied down.
This last time of giving morphine.. I had to remind them to clear her breathing tube... she was having trouble breathing... it irritates me... this is the CRITICAL CARE UNIT you'd think they'd have some nurses in here that might.. oh I don't know... remember that sort of thing?
This is Bloomington Hospital... Indiana.. it's a decent town (Indiana University is here...) and they have some top rate stuff here. It's just... I can't believe how this unit is. Grr.
I know when the doc comes in... we might not be his first priority.. there might be someone else in worse condition than she... but I hope we're in his top stack of first things to do.. he seems pretty good. He's a.. hospitalist.. which I think is a label for 'main resident doctor' or something. as all the other doctors in their smaller areas were saying he can oversee all kinds of areas.
So... that's good. I don't know.. it's late and I'm cranky.
Thanks again... if I see you guys at gencon I'll introduce you to her and buy you a soda or a beer or whatever... I appreciate being able to vent and have some decent comments back.
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Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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One thing that I've noticed now in our MANY stays (well over 20 now) in the hospital with our little boy is that weekend staff are quite different than the weekday staff. Different in that they seem to be more cautious. They run lots of tests. They bring in more doctors to "consult". They seem to communicate less directly with you. They seem a bit less experienced, too.
Every time we've been admitted to the hospital on a Friday, that whole weekend results in little to no new treatment. He's never gotten worse, but they don't really take aggressive steps to get things fixed. It's sort of a holding pattern, until the main doctors get back in on Monday, and then stuff starts to happen. I've seen it time and time again, at pretty much the best hospital in my area.
No doubt, Paul. It's damned frustrating. I understand completely with the nurse and the breathing tube....ohhhhh, yes.
Hold tight there, Paul. Monday is a whole new day. A weekday!
My best wishes and most positive thoughts are with your wife and you right now.
Tim
Thanks - yeah.. the 'good' or experienced doctors we've dealt with were called in.
These weekend warriors need to get some tact. They really should have classes for that.
I know they have a stressful job. It sucks. My aunt is a ER Nurse in a nearby hospital.
But, you know what... they went to school.. they must like their job.. I can't imagine someone doing this if they didn't... so I don't want to overhear how you haven't had a day off in two weeks. You know what? Quit.. or suck it up. My wife is some serious muck right now and I don't care if you ever get a day off. Imagine if someone who was experiencing something worse heard that kind of crap?
If they want to complain.. and talk to each other about their day or whatever... they can go to their little nurse rooms and do it there. No need to do it in a public area.
I just expect them to show some professionalism and when they don't it irks me.
Hopefully, I'll get sleepy again soon... I want to be fully awake for the upcoming day.
Thanks again... it helps..
Well.. sleep didn't really come.. they did some tests so I was pretty active.
But... they've decided to not take out the breathing tube yet as she isn't keeping enough oxygen... and the idea of an oxygen mask seems to risky at the moment.
But, in her defense... when they were checking for this... they had some nurse checking the babys heartbeat. Now.. my wife is ofcourse awake.. and....nope... nope.... for about five to ten minutes... this lady checks and checks and no heartbeat from the chunky monkey (something my wife has named the baby from the most recent ultrasound where the baby looked chubby) so... my poor wife who has been so strong... freaks. but can't voice her worries as her vocal cords are blocked from the breathing tube.
Thankfully, the doctor took the reins and found the heartbeat (still very strong) about thirty seconds later. (Once she got in there...)
But, the panic had messed with her breathing.
So.. could be tomorrow when she gets it out.
So, they call in a respitory doc. and he thinks she has a form of pnemonia that forms a bit differently than it normally would. so he's ordered a different set of anitbiotics they have her sedated and pain meds in her.
Oh, I got them to add a nutrients IV since she obviously can't eat.
It's just going to be at least a couple more days it looks like.
Thanks again guys.. really... it does help to be able to write up my thoughts and have some positive feedback.
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Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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You're all in my thoughts and prayers, Paul. Let her know we're pulling for both of them too. Moral support is always felt.
As to the x-ray, try to think positive. Instead or fearing cancer, hope for superpowers.
And thank the powers that be that it was an X-ray, and NOT a gamma ray.
Don't want Chunky Monkey to Hulk out upon delivery...heh, heh. Apgar score? Green? What does THAT mean? GAHHH!
Of course, seeing the baby spank the doctor would be entertaining.....
There isn't anything I can say that hasn't already been said, just that I to am hoping for a safe and speedy recovery.
Take care.
First let me say that you, your wife, & your baby are in our prayers!
Second, I have to admit that what I've been through PALES compared to what you are experiencing now. Please forgive any cliches that I will now spout....
Mostly, I want to say that you are doing the right things. You are in a hospital you trust, but you aren't bowing to every whim of the doctors. Also you are keeping them reminded of things said/done previously. And you are venting to neutral parties instead of blasting those that you need to provide help!
It is indeed frustrating to have the medical staff messing up or in some way needing you to get them to think. Yes, it is their job. Sadly, that's exactly the problem - they have 50-100 patients all with serious issues. The human brain can't do constant crisis-mode for long, & these truly caring folks slip up & make mistakes.
Do your best to remain civil. Come here & call us the names you want to call the doc's.
Try to "cat nap" when you can; it may not feel like it, but those milliseconds of sleep do keep you sane & sort of functional.
Keep up your own strength. It's easy to try to ignore yourself when all this stress hits. But you need to have nutrition too...even more than normal due to all this stress! Try to limit caffine. Get plenty of water. (I was so stressed a month before my 1st was born, I brewed up a kidney stone. Don't do that!)
Tell your wife you love her often. Hold her hand. Studies show that touch helps healing.
Keep us posted as you can, but seek rest first.
Oh and as far as the X-ray goes: I got zapped by a 1971 vintage machine, that's how Mom found out I was cooking. I was a good bit less far along than 17 weeks. I'll be 37 in a few months, nothing yet! "X-rays == Cancer" is over hyped. Especially the vastly lower dose they use now.
Thanks - I had to vent to someone... I don't really have a support network... well.. I do.. but she's laying on the bed.
It is situations like this that I think are the best use of internet forums. If being able to post here helps one person feel better in the least, then all the other crap is worth it.
I wish only the best for your and your family.
Director of Sales
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Paul,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to Mom and "Chunky Monkey"! :)
-cos
EDIT:
PS- It appears that you have your computer with you at the hospital, so I've added some reading material to your My Downloads section to hopefully help pass the time. Enjoy and, once again, good luck!
Cosmo.. thanks... it'll help pass the time. I've not been sleeping well and that will help.
So.. the update... Well.. so last night she was doing well enough to not need the breathing tube out. But, the doc didn't know her so he didn't.
They said in the morning.. 8am - 10am
The time comes around and like I mentioned.. above.. there were complications... the baby issue...
A few hours later they add the PICC and leave it alone until the xray comes back.. (A Little rush please... it could be sticking her heart.. lungs... anything...) Thankfully the hour and a half passes and it wasn't.
So.. this whole time.. she's been so scared because she wakes up with this tube... I get ahold of a nurse or two and proceed to tell them that the tube is mucking with her mental state which is hurting her physically. I want it out put her on oxygen.. and if she NEEDS it (they kept it in mainly for "just in case") then they can put it back in.
So, they say they're going to get the doc on the phone.. and we can talk to him about it. I guess they relayed the message because within thirty minutes the doc. that had left for the day that said he'd take her off tomorrow had come in and was having the respiratory tech wean her off the machine.
Good. Her lung strength isn't that good... she's had to have some breathing treatments and they're watching her.. but her oxygen count (while only having the nose plug tube type.. - not even a full blown mask) is steady at 95%.. going as high as 97% - not perfect... but worlds better.. and without that invasive tube.
She's kept her sense of humor and ate and drank some items this evening.
I have a good feeling they'll move her to a normal recovery room tomorrow and keep and eye on her there. They have mentioned she might take an IV home with her.. if it's a regular one or the PICC one.. I'm not sure of.. the PICC sounds more like the winner but we'll see.
Guys the support you've given has been amazing. I really appreciate it... her parents have done what they can for me... but it's hard to expect much from them.
Just... thanks.
Yeah... she's pretty strong. Her voice is getting better.. as her lungs start to get strong again.
a lot of what they did hurt in a lot of different ways.... emotional, mental on top of the physical.
shes coughing up the bad and going strong.
maybe there is something to be said for even people that don't know you to keep you in their thoughts.
if i was going to get all sentimental.. i might point out that once this community got on board and started praying for her she started to show drastic improvement.
Maybe it's just a coincidence but either way... I really can't say thanks enough.
I am happy she is doing better. This is the first I have read about this. I will pray for her.
They have mentioned she might take an IV home with her.. if it's a regular one or the PICC one.. I'm not sure of.. the PICC sounds more like the winner but we'll see.
Guys the support you've given has been amazing. I really appreciate it...
It'll be her PICC line. (I'm an ER tech, so I've seen plenty!) The PICC line is a catheter that is about 10-12 inches long, so it can effectively "stay" for an extended period. A standard IV catheter can't (only about 1-1 1/2" long).
Sorry to get technical, but since other previous posts have conveyed my own wishes for you and your family well enough, I thought I'd relay some medical knowledge.
I am glad she is doing better. Her being 17 weeks pregnant creates a whole new set of issues that need dealt with and monitored. I know the two of you can get through this.
Best wishes.
I'm glad to hear she's getting better, Paul. I will of course pray for her.
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Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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maybe there is something to be said for even people that don't know you to keep you in their thoughts.
if i was going to get all sentimental.. i might point out that once this community got on board and started praying for her she started to show drastic improvement.
Maybe it's just a coincidence but either way... I really can't say thanks enough.
QFT. I will never doubt the power of positive thought/prayers/good vibes...whatever you want to call it. We had hundreds of people, many we will never know even by name, sending positive energy my son's way. He was put on the transplant list on a Friday. By Sunday, we had a donor heart. In less than a month, he was home.
So, for me, it's hard not to acknowledge the power of prayer/positive thoughts/good vibes/best wishes. So, I am happy to send some your way.
And I'm very glad to hear your wife is doing better.
Just found this thread Paul.
Good luck. My thoughts are with you, your wife and your child. Hang in there and think happy thoughts. It's the best medicine.
Like Chef's Slaad I just found this thread. Paul, I wish you and your family the best of luck and I hope that it all turns out all right!
PS- It appears that you have your computer with you at the hospital, so I've added some reading material to your My Downloads section to hopefully help pass the time.
You guys so rock.
Paul, have you guys picked out a name for the wee one yet?
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Paul,
This is love... It is not a gushy feeling and a rush from meeting someone exciting. It is the quiet constant care you give. That is love. The sleepless nights, that is love. Advocating for her when she cannot, that is love. Making sure she is comfortable, that is love. She is fortunate to have your love. You are being her hero right now, and such things are priceless.
My prayers are added to those already praying for you.
Please make sure you are taking care of you. When she her folks come, take a walk outside, or take a moment to shave and shower or something else, for a mental break. You taking care of you will help you take care of her. Get what sleep you can. Make sure you are eating. You are being the strength of 2 people and that is alot to do, so please make sure you do what you need to to sustain you.
I hope you all pass through this time quickly and unscathed, and that the joy of your new arrival will quickly eclipse the travail you endured on the way...
Best,
~Sigil
... and what a great community we have here!
Well…now…I would not go that far. Remember, Sebastian is ‘part’ of this community too.
Yeah... Cosmo hooking me up is above and beyond what I'd ever expect from a company. That.... that's just amazing.
You guys are awesome... my wife is doing awesome. Granted... she's still getting oxygen... she's still hooked up to some nutrients and has a morphine on tap...
BUT! She's out of the critical care unit... she's talking very very well... this morning her breathing exercise where she sucks in to see her lung pressure was 250 this morning. Not that good... not too long ago... 1750.. in matter of a day.
She's got a little ways to go... but she's doing amazing.
But... get this... man if it comes in threes I don't know what else could happen...
emphysema runs in my family my dads dad died from it.. my dad had a lung transplant two years ago. Last year he rejected it and has been off an on...
Today.. his lung (not the *new* one but his..) collapsed. He got taken by ambulance to methodist hospital in Indianapolis... it's crazy... my family is usually pretty healthy. very rarely is something wrong.
But, both in less than a week? Ugh... so if you're thinking about us... give pops a shout-out.. he might need it.
Again.. thanks for your thoughts and prayers thus far.. they've been a huge help.
You guys really are awesome.
Oh.. in case anyone was wondering.... our babies due date is Dec. 1st.
We get to find the sex out in a couple weeks! July 14th... I'm pretty excited.. so some good news is on the way.
~grimaces~ Damn Paul. Good luck to you and your family. I did give you a hand and directed a certain Ninja Squirrel to a COMPLETELY different area. That squirrel said that he had a grudge against you and wanted to even a score. Something about a human escaping his clutches or something like that. ~grins~ I will keep you, your wife, your child, and your father in my prayers. Best of wishes to you all!
~grimaces~ Damn Paul. Good luck to you and your family. I did give you a hand and directed a certain Ninja Squirrel to a COMPLETELY different area. That squirrel said that he had a grudge against you and wanted to even a score. Something about a human escaping his clutches or something like that. ~grins~ I will keep you, your wife, your child, and your father in my prayers. Best of wishes to you all!
Haha... yeah... I'm sure he's feeling the defeat to this day... well.. I didn't really defeat him.. but I did get away.
Yeah... Dad - it sounds like they put a tube in and got his lung working again... but they're going to check him out and find out why it collapsed in the first place. So it's just a waiting game on that front as well.
Wow dude. Haven't been on as much lately cuz I was slammed with life.
You're really going through it. My prayers are with your whole family!
Oh.. in case anyone was wondering.... our babies due date is Dec. 1st.
We get to find the sex out in a couple weeks! July 14th... I'm pretty excited.. so some good news is on the way.
All right! Sounds like another Saggitarius is on the way. You have to focus on the positives in times like these, and although your wife's recovery is obviously a bright spot, this is something you can both look forward to that is a little removed from what you're going through day to day.