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Sort of an 'Anti-Matter/Mirror Universe' response to the scariest movie thread! Here is my submission:
I just watched a movie called: 'Black Sheep' (AKA: The Violence of the Lambs) about genetically altered sheep in NZ killing and eating people - included in this movie were 'weresheep'-like critters which looked like big 'sheep-minotaurs'. This movie was a comedy-horror flick and was kinda funny if you want to have a bad movie night with friends.
PS: the tag line was: 'There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand and their all Pissed Off!'
Sort of an 'Anti-Matter/Mirror Universe' response to the scariest movie thread! Here is my submission:
I just watched a movie called: 'Black Sheep' (AKA: The Violence of the Lambs) about genetically altered sheep in NZ killing and eating people - included in this movie were 'weresheep'-like critters which looked like big 'sheep-minotaurs'. This movie was a comedy-horror flick and was kinda funny if you want to have a bad movie night with friends.
PS: the tag line was: 'There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand and their all Pissed Off!'
Funny movie, but as far as cheese goes, I'd have to give the wag of the finger to The Abominable Dr Phibes or The Fearless Vampire Killers- any more cheesy and they'd be in a fondue pot.
Creative Director
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Black Sheep! I saw that at the Seattle Film Festival. It was actually kinda a good movie. And it was all the more fun to see one of the artists we use for Pathfinder (Ben Wootten) did some of the effects work in the movie too! Yay!
As for cheesiest horror movie... I'd have to nominate Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. If only for its theme song.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer; the movie
Saturday the 14th
Blackula
these are good with pepperonis, crackers and cheez wiz and lots of cheap beer.
Dead Alive (1992), the unrated version. Released as Braindead in New Zealand. Early film by none other than Mr. Peter Jackson.
Full of such memorable lines as:
'I kick ass for the Lord'
'He's got...the bite!'
'Your mother ate my Dog.'
'Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys.'
Also, wins the award for most creative use of a lawn mower. Movie blood was pumped out at 5 gallons/second for this scene.
Sorority House Massacre 3. You can see the ketchup bottle squirting the blood in several shots, a psycho fat guy that will not die and the standard,"Oh, are you my new roomates? Let's take a shower together!" moment to sell you on the film from the beginning.
Contributor
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Dead Alive (1992), the unrated version. Released as Braindead in New Zealand. Early film by none other than Mr. Peter Jackson.
Full of such memorable lines as:
'I kick ass for the Lord'
'He's got...the bite!'
'Your mother ate my Dog.'
'Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys.'Also, wins the award for most creative use of a lawn mower. Movie blood was pumped out at 5 gallons/second for this scene.
I've heard that the star of this film ahd to spend some time in a quiet rest home afterwards to recover from the psychological damage of having gallons of blood sprayed on him for days on end during filming.
A highly recommended film.
Go New Zealand!
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I suspect your definition of Cheesiest will greatly influence your choices...
For instance I would never consider The Abominable Dr. Phibes as the cheesiest. It is just too much fun and at times is actually quite clever (unscrewing the unicorn horn from the corpse comes to mind.) i also wouldn't include Attack of the Killer Tomatoes as it belongs IMO properly in the class of "bad" movies that are so bad they are good.
Movies like Jason X are in my mind cheesy. Jason X is so cheesy that it unabashedly makes fun of itself with gratutious nudity and the line (I paraphrase) "want to engage in premarital sex and smoke some illegal drugs." Jason, already immortal (thanks to Cheesy prequels), now becomes a cyborg. How much cheesier can you get? Cheesy movies tend to be sequels I think and unoriginal.
A partial list of other very cheesy horror movies then, just off the top of my head...
Blood Rayne (Sluttily dressed heroines, nonsensical plot and vampires = cheesy)
The Ghoulies series (I mean come on, the ads feature muppets coming out of toilets... oh and the tag line from IV which had nothing to do with the rest of the series was "a little black magic, a little black leather" though I am pretty sure the villainess was actually dressed in Latex)
Friday the 13th: part 8 Jason takes Manhattan (Just when you thought the series could slide no further into the gutter...)
A Nightmare on Elmstreet parts 3-5 (The original premise had so much promise...)
Full Eclipse (Werewolf cops, an easily seduced hero and an over the top villain named Adam Garou = cheesy)
Warlock 3 (The original had a witch that made a flying potion out of baby fat... The third had an incoherent plot)
Poltergeist II (They're baaack... I mean come on, the catch line from the first movie was actually memorable but this was just so derivative and gimmicky)
i could go on but that's enough for now...
Gotta be "The Night of a Thousand Cats"
Plot summary - "A wacko millionaire trains his cute kitties to dine only on human flesh. Since the local grocery store doesn't carry human "delicacies," he is forced to murder people himself, after which he puts their dismembered parts in jars for easy feeding and clean-up."
Saw this years and years ago. My friends and I would have movie marathon nights, see who could find the worst horror movie and we'd watch 6-8 in a row. This one was a doozy. They must have wanted to have some 3d effects at one point but didn't actually do it, cause they'd have cats jumping at the camera, and the wacko shouting "crystal cage!" while lifting heads up directly at the camera... Ah fine teenage memories..
Oh, and Bubba Hotep rules.
Hail to the King, baby.
AAaargh! Bubba Hotep! That movie was darn near the most gawshawful thing I've seen in my life! I could not even make my way through a third of the cursed thing before I was forced...compelled to throw my TV set out the window onto the lawn. Next morning I realized to my horror I had lost a level!
I have to say though, the worst peice of crap I've ever been unable to sit all the way through in my whole life was a little nugget of infernal embarrassment called Undead. Wow. That movie broke the limits of bad movie-making. I could make money daring people to sit through that. I really honestly think it's impossible. That movie scarred me rather than scaring me. Uugh!
Most of the films mentioned are campy, not cheesy. It's the difference between deliberate intention or simple inferiority.
camp
n.
An affectation or appreciation of manners and tastes commonly thought to be artificial, vulgar, or banal.
Banality, vulgarity, or artificiality when deliberately affected or when appreciated for its humor: "Camp is popularity plus vulgarity plus innocence" (Indra Jahalani).
chees·y
2. Slang. inferior or cheap; chintzy: The movie's special effects are cheesy and unconvincing.
Agreeing with Wicht, Poltergeist II is the cheesiest. Watch it as an adult and you'll feel shame that you even got through it as a child.
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I stand corrected - campy is actually a more apt term then cheesy for alot of the flicks mentioned here; also I had forgotten about the majority of these movies that you folks have mentioned - other I am getting old, or the trauma of having to watch some of these stinkers damaged my psyche...
Another 2 nominies for campiness/cheesyness are:
1) Killer Klowns from Outerspace - need I comment?
2) The Green Slime - had a cool early 60's rock theme (the Greeen Sliiimmmeeee....Greeen Sliiimmmeeee), but the critter effects are terrible!
They Stole Hitler's Brain
Wow, what to say about that gem...
All these posts, and no mention of "It's Alive 3: Island of the Alive"? It's at least one of the cheesiest titles.
"Bubba Hotep" wins in the camp category. Loved it.
They Stole Hitler's Brain
Wow, what to say about that gem...
That actually gave me a spook as a kid. Baron Blood in style.
Anyone see Horror Hospital? It was like watching the guys from Sweet run into a thresher.
Hammer Films had such a specific feel. They were the ones who made vampires sexy. Some would argue Bela did this, but anyone who found that guy sexy is higher than he was.
What about that Stay Alive movie about the killer video game? I heard that was really really bad.
What about that Stay Alive movie about the killer video game? I heard that was really really bad.
It was terrible, but it was even good at being terrible. Just mediocre terrible.
Does Night of the lepus count as a horror flick? Giant rabbits smash Matchbox cars, then have their noses smeared with strawberry jam to represent the blood of the people they've eaten. Scary!
I remember that. The same style was used in the 70's film version of HG Wells' classic "Food of the Gods."
In a similar vein, squirm, starring Don Scardino, a client of mine. By the end of the film he's turned into a worm man. It was actually a bit creepy in places.
BTW, A common term used when describing cheap, often horror, films:
Schlock
1. Also, schlocky. cheap; trashy: a schlock store.
As in "schlock horror"
Is there a rule that cheap horror movies have to have wooden actors?
'There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand and they're all Pissed Off!'
Now that's a movie I have to see. There were a couple of others mentioned that I'm glad to be reminded of: Ghoulies, I'd forgotten about that; and Killer Klowns, I love those costumes. And I'm interested in the Killer Tomatoes song.
Now, some bad movies that might be fun if you're in the mood for bad movies: Bloodsucking Freaks is really horrid. If you love Dead Alive this might be your kind of thing. Gore Gore Girls by Herschel Gordon Lewis is also horrid and awful in fun way.
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At lunch for some reason I thought of Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf. Pointless werewolf orgies, werewolves that can only be killed with titanium , midgets, transylvania, Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning and constant scene jumps to a rock and roll concert that has nothing much to do with the rest of the movie. This film has to rank up there somewhere pretty high on the cheese-meter.
Howling III featuring marsupial werewolves who are actually misunderstood and quite harmless is also pretty cheesy.
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Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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I think ANYTHING from Troma Pictures is fair game for camp and/or cheese...Toxic Avenger, Class of Nukem High, etc. etc.
Just take a look at their latest, Poultrygeist.
However, MY personal favorite was "Street Trash"!
At lunch for some reason I thought of Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf. Pointless werewolf orgies, werewolves that can only be killed with titanium , midgets, transylvania, Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning and constant scene jumps to a rock and roll concert that has nothing much to do with the rest of the movie. This film has to rank up there somewhere pretty high on the cheese-meter.
Howling III featuring marsupial werewolves who are actually misunderstood and quite harmless is also pretty cheesy.
At the end of that film Sybil Danning's rip her shirt off to expose her boobs scene was repeatedly rhythmically with the song that ran behind the credits. A rock video with smash cut nudity. Way to end an utterly miserable film. I saw The (original) Howling in the theaters when I was a kid and quite liked it.
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, everyone loves deadly veggies.
The Stuff, are you eating it or is it eating you! Basically killer yogurt.
Healthy food is bad!
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For those who appreciate entertainingly bad movies (as opposed to simple cheese) I would recommend both Andrew Borntreger's Badmovies.org and Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension. Both sites are quite entertaining if you are into that sort of thing.
Dead Alive (1992), the unrated version. Released as Braindead in New Zealand. Early film by none other than Mr. Peter Jackson.
Full of such memorable lines as:
'I kick ass for the Lord'
'He's got...the bite!'
'Your mother ate my Dog.'
'Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys.'Also, wins the award for most creative use of a lawn mower. Movie blood was pumped out at 5 gallons/second for this scene.
Ah yes- who can forget the bowl of custard scene- yum.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, everyone loves deadly veggies.
The Stuff, are you eating it or is it eating you! Basically killer yogurt.
Healthy food is bad!
Killer Tomotaes was camp. The stuff was also camp. I can recall some of the word of Puberty Love (the only way to kill the killer tomatoes is to blast this song) and I found The Stuff really amusing when saw it on cable back in the 80's.
am not really clear on the difference between campy and cheesy; is it the smell?
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am not really clear on the difference between campy and cheesy; is it the smell?
Camp in my mind are movies that are intentionally funny/bad - like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Fearless Vampire Hunters Or one of my more recent favorites The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Everyone involved in these projects knew exactly what they were making.
Cheese is unoriginal, derivative and bad. Often low budget, but not always, cheesy movies can often be written by a badly programmed computer.
Admittedly I like some cheesy movies, especially classics like Them, and Plan 9, or fantasy like Beastmaster. Others just make me wonder why I wasted portions of my brain and life watching them.
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The goblins say you have so many words in your head and when you write them down you can't get them back....
All night I kept thinking of additional cheesy movies and I have to write some of them down so that perhaps I can stop remembering them and do something productive with my day.
Bats I actually find this movie entertainingly bad. Rubber Bats, a stupid governments weapon program, a mad scientist who thinks he can talk to bats and Louis Diamond Phillips as an opera loving sharp shooting (one shot/one dead bat) sherriff = cheese.
The Dungeonmaster I really wanted this movie to be good with a name like the Dungeonmaster. Its not. Richard Moll is satan and he has midgets. The hero has a super computer with a whole 64k worth of memory. Satan dies by falling in lava. Speaking of cheesy Richard Moll movies the same year this one came out Night Train to Terror was released which is almost painful to watch.
Cthulhu Mansion Anybody else see this turkey? I've seen it at least twice and sadly my will power save vs. bad movies is low and I'd probably watch it again. The evil wizard with evil in his basement is named Chandu. With a name like that he still managed to procreate. The leader of the gang in this movie is named Hawk. Speaking of names, the only place Cthulhu shows up is in the title.
The next two aren't horror (technically anyway) but I want them out of my head...
Superman IV A sun powered nuclear bad guy, really bad special effects and a stupid plot = cheese (Superman III was no prize either)
Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy I have never figured this movie out. On one hand it seems like it was written for ten year olds, with killer toys, angels and an inane storyline. On the other hand its softcore porn and really all about the sex. After the first three minutes of watching Jane Fonda naked (and its rated PG!) the movie is all downhill.
am not really clear on the difference between campy and cheesy; is it the smell?Camp in my mind are movies that are intentionally funny/bad - like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Fearless Vampire Hunters Or one of my more recent favorites The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Everyone involved in these projects knew exactly what they were making.
Cheese is unoriginal, derivative and bad. Often low budget, but not always, cheesy movies can often be written by a badly programmed computer.
Admittedly I like some cheesy movies, especially classics like Them, and Plan 9, or fantasy like Beastmaster. Others just make me wonder why I wasted portions of my brain and life watching them.
Spot on. Though, Them was actually a good film in my opinion, with real actors, a real storyline, good-for-the-time monsters, and good cinematography. Many elements in horror movies such as Frankenstein scared people witless and fainting in the theaters of old. However our culture evolved to the point where Frankenstein tuned into the hippie generation and began hawking strawberry cereal in Greg Brady pants. Thus, many of these once terrifying elements become rather silly.
So... Killer Klownz from Outer Space and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes were attempts to use schlock to be funny. Camp.
Dark Star, John Carpenter's first film, cost a mere sixty grand to make, and though their monster was a beach ball with fur and fangs glued onto it, it wasn't cheesy schlock, it was deliberate campy schlock.
Cheese? Well here's a terrible film to make Ed Wood envious. It's fun to watch because of how unintentionally poor it is:Zontar the Thing from Venus
Cheddary, no?
And really, the acting and effects in Poltergeist II (no link provided, for your pleasure) are so bankrupt that to gaze upon its inferiority (owing nothing to lack of budget, just bad decisions) makes it an absolutely agonizing study in how to make expensive cheese.
1)The Return of the Aliens: The Deadly Spawn
2)Parasite (cheap 3D flick with a very young Demi Moore)
Both of these are world-class cheese.
Night of the Creeps
How come no one has mentioned Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or its sequel, Return of the Killer Tomatoes? Talk about ECK!!
Plus, I don't think it counts as horror, but one of the worst things ever placed on celluloid: R.O.T.O.R.. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can search it on YouTube and actually see a condensed version, which will spare you losing 95 minutes of your life. So bad, it's actually funny.
DogBone
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Black Sheep is awesome. I am determined to write an adventure based on that movie, with a town overrun by killer sheep.
I also have to second (or third) the recommendation for Dead Alive, one of the best funny/campy horror films of all time, right up there with Evil Dead 2, Re-Animator and Gremlins.
If you're talking about just plain cheesy, boring horror films, then it's hard to say what the worst offender is -- I probably didn't finish watching it, and if I did I promptly forgot it..oh wait, no, I know what it is.
Doll Man vs Demonic Toys, a movie almost entirely composed of footage from Doll Man, Doll Man 2, and Demonic Toys. I don't know if Tim Tomerson (from the Trancers) even filmed a single scene of new footage for this one. It's a bland, confusing mish-mash of people talking and various fight scenes between chintzy evil toy puppets. This movie will cast feeblemind on you. Full Moon Entertainment has released a lot of garbage, much of which I haven't been able to bring myself to watch, but this is definitely the most inspid and boring movie I've seen from them, or just about anyone.
I saw a trailer for "Zombie Strippers" last night. It has Robert Englund and features... Zombie Strippers.
I think i'm going to have to find this film... because watching bad movies is what I do.
Aw come on...I LOVED Sleepwalkers, it's one of my favorite campy movies.
My absolute favorite remains Night of the Living Dead. The really really campy 80s version. For an even bigger laugh, check out the original trailer for it. "The dead are here. And they're not vegetarian". Had me laughing for weeks on end. That and the pudding/jelly-like consistency of the brains.
Does Night of the lepus count as a horror flick? Giant rabbits smash Matchbox cars, then have their noses smeared with strawberry jam to represent the blood of the people they've eaten. Scary!
Yes! I was hoping someone hadn't already mentioned it so I could be the first. An uncommon appearance outside of Star Trek for DeForest Kelley.
I suppose I'm stuck mentioning Strays. A pack of feral cats goes on a killing spree. Boredom ensues...
My absolute favorite remains Night of the Living Dead. The really really campy 80s version. For an even bigger laugh, check out the original trailer for it. "The dead are here. And they're not vegetarian". Had me laughing for weeks on end. That and the pudding/jelly-like consistency of the brains.
That's actually Return of the Living Dead. That wasn't Romero, but his former partner from the original Night of the Living Dead. After the split they settled on rights. Romero kept on just using "the Dead," while the other guy got rights to "the Living Dead." That's why the sequels are Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead.
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Just don't.
Tromeo and Juliet is a hysterical blast.
Put it on with volume muted at parties for great 'WTF?! No seriously! WTF?!' moments.
SM