gran_funny_joke_time's page

A group of physicists went to a restaurant. They ate, and then when the waitress brought over the check, they began explaining to her what the force required to accelerate a mass of one gram at a rate of one centimeter per second squared is. When she looked thoroughly confused, they all took off, leaving behind a bunch of hyphens. The manager called the cops, and the officer who took the report shook his head and said "Yeah, those a*~&+~*s have been pulling this 'Dyne and Dash' routine all over town."

-gran

Physics Teacher: Which weighs more? A pound of down or a pound of pyrite?

Little Timmy: Yes!

Physics Teacher: You can't answer, "Yes!" It's an eider ore question!

Love it!

You still got it old chap.

Vanykrye wrote:

Large corporations *usually* write their policies/procedures based on the strictest state laws of the states they operate in just so they don't have to have multiple sets of policies/procedures to publish.

And everyone always follows the written policies and procedures exactly as written.

And everyone always follows the written policies and procedures exactly as written.

The art of inyourendo?

That sounds like our specialty.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

A teenager is selling fish on the corner of his street, he is yelling “DAM FISH GET YOUR DAM FISH FOR SALE ONLY $3 A FISH” for advertisement. One man, a pastor, walks by and stops to ask why he has to use the word “damn”. The boy then explains that he caught the fish at the local dam and the pastor understands and says “I’ll take 2”.

Later that night when the pastor gets home, he goes to his wife with the fish and says, “Honey can you cook the dam fish for me” the pastors wife is shocked and asked why he used such a word. The husband then explains to his wife what the boy told him and she understands.

When they sit down at the dinner table, his son, wife and daughter are sitting at the table. The pastor asks his daughter “Honey pass me the dam fish please”. The son, surprised, says “Oh yeah, that’s the spirit Dad! Now, Mom pass me the f**king potatoes.”

Was that little boy you? this sounds like a gran coming of age story to me .

I was never little.

Was born completely grown bad jokes and everything.

Ok now that was funny.

Oh ho ho ho so funny.

"Can I roll a knowledge check to know what this thing is that just attacked me?"

"Sure. Knowledge (Arcana)."
"Don't have it. How about Profession (Fisherman)?"
"I'll allow it."
*rolls* "17."
"Definitely not a fish."

I may have to use a variation of that sometime.

You're on fire tonight.

Vanykrye wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

So I made a little dinner for me my friends and my SO's sister. I used about 1/4 a teaspoon of cloves and now that is all I can smell.

Oh...I misread that at first...cloves. Definitely cloves. That's incredibly different from clowns.

But it would explain why it tasted funny.

Ok no that was funny. This is not even the usual sarcastic use of this alias.

*Duh Duh Chi*

Oh look at me! I sew my cloths together instead of just draping myself with them. Aren't I special?

I have a group of friends that I go out to est with. We call ourselves the Taste Buds.

Friends HA! good one.

We HATESes the Hobbitses!

Vidmaster7 wrote:

I still appreciate the effort.

Hah!

Sharoth wrote:

Go get some sleep, Tact. Hopefully you will feel better later. We will still be here.

Thanks! I'm actually fine. Just... bad at jokes right now. XD

We can't all be the funny gran time! All the funny jokes! look at my name with the non-capitalized g. oh ho ho.

(I have too much fun with this alias. )

So funny with the jokes.

...Sure why not?

-_-

Yuugasa wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

She has a hard time with jokes sometimes.

It's all good, my jokes are usually only funny to me anyway.

My jokes are funny to everyone.

like that one ha ha so funny!

I really like my kids playing pathfinder.