Deep 6 FaWtL

[NobodysHome]

The training is about that bad. I'm a "super safety" worker traveling from office to office identifying safety hazards and solving them before anyone gets hurt.

Unfortunately, "I shouldn't be traveling nor entering remote offices due to COVID" isn't a valid solution here.

EDIT: Oops... I seem to have forgotten my superhero costume under my street clothes...

[NobodysHome]

Oh, gods. Question #1: Is it OK to ride a scooter around inside the office to promote a more fun, more efficient work environment?

It's going to be a LOOOOOONG 45 minutes.

[captain yesterday]

My friends and I rode mopeds through school the last day of school senior year.

[NobodysHome]

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

[Freehold DM]

NobodysHome wrote:

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

Hey, what makes you say it was me? How do you know it wasn't captain yesterday?

[captain yesterday]

It's true, I'm a capricious son of a b!@$$.

[NobodysHome]

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

Because Americans people always say that they already know all that crap and they are not dumb and feel insulted when they are told things they think they already know, and then proceed to do exactly the dumb shit.

And that also involves people who are very intelligent when they have a bad time or are in hurry or are handling things they are not exactly in their field of expertise.

[gran rey de los mono]

NobodysHome wrote:

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

Just wait, soon you could be fired for using the microwave without "microwave training" and "microwave popcorn training".

[Nordom Whistleklik]

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

Hey, what makes you say it was me? How do you know it wasn't captain yesterday?

.

IF POPCORN_STATE="FIRE" THEN
IF EQUIP_USAGE="SKID-LOADER" THEN PRINT "CAPTAIN YESTERDAY BURNED THE POPCORN."
ELSE
IF EQUIP_USAGE="BLK_MNLNSS" THEN PRINT "FREEHOLD BURNED THE POPCORN."
END IF

[NobodysHome]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

Just wait, soon you could be fired for using the microwave without "microwave training" and "microwave popcorn training".

Oooh... hitting too close to home.

Global Megacorporation had to ban microwave popcorn because too many people started fires that caused too many building evacuations. We "at home" workers found this hilarious.

Then I was teaching a 60-person class at headquarters on the 11th floor and the fire alarm went off. We had to walk down 11 flights, gather in the appropriate area, and once the alarm was cleared go back up. (And I have to agree with Drejk: Apparently even, "Proceed down the stairs without bringing all your stuff with you or stopping to chat with your friends" is indeed too hard for most people).

And yep. Burnt popcorn. After the ban. And someone who worked in the building told me it was a weekly occurrence, even after the ban.

Microwave popcorn is the evil that will bring down our corporation.

[NobodysHome]

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

Because Americans people always say that they already know all that crap and they are not dumb and feel insulted when they are told things they think they already know, and then proceed to do exactly the dumb s@#+.

And that also involves people who are very intelligent when they have a bad time or are in hurry or are handling things they are not exactly in their field of expertise.

I never understood this until my younger brother's girlfriend tore up her knee in the middle of the woods on a ski trip. My entire family, all college-educated, stood around staring at her lying in the snow in pain and likely soon to go into shock saying such things as, "Maybe we should give her a few minutes and see whether she gets better."

It was beyond appalling.

I've saved 3 lives that I know of. That was one of them.

EDIT: On the other hand, the test was on the order of, "You manage old IT equipment. You notice that you're accumulating quite a pile in the hall. You should:
(a) Put it in a dumpster to get it out of the way.
(b) Call the proper disposal service to have it properly sorted and recycled."
Seriously. That was indeed the level of the questions.

[Treppa]

NobodysHome wrote:

I'm convinced Freehold must have worked here once.

Apparently if my popcorn catches fire in the kitchen, using the fire extinguisher is a fireable offense if you haven't attended "fire extinguisher training".

What did you do, Freehold?

Me, I quickly transferred flaming popcorn to sink, ran water into the bag until the fire was out (generating clouds of noxious smoke), dumped the soggy mess into the trash, and immediately left for a meeting in a building across town.

I was very sympathetic to the irritated emails from my team. "Sorry I wasn't there to see who did it."

:|

[captain yesterday]

Fortunately in my line of work microwaves aren't an issue and half the company are firefighters anyway.

[captain yesterday]

One of the things I like about work is every year the boss comes up with a new name to call me so new people on snow runs know who to look for in the yard.

Last year I was known as "SpongeBob Jesus" because I wore a Krusty Krab hat the kids got me before winter.

This year I got one of those form fitting ski masks and then I have a hat with tassels ala John Frusciante at the beginning of the video for Under the Bridge by the Chili Peppers that I got for Christmas when the General and I dated in high school.

So this year the boss said I look like a "ninja for the Red Hot Chili Peppers"

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

Because Americans people always say that they already know all that crap and they are not dumb and feel insulted when they are told things they think they already know, and then proceed to do exactly the dumb s@#+.

And that also involves people who are very intelligent when they have a bad time or are in hurry or are handling things they are not exactly in their field of expertise.

I never understood this until my younger brother's girlfriend tore up her knee in the middle of the woods on a ski trip. My entire family, all college-educated, stood around staring at her lying in the snow in pain and likely soon to go into shock saying such things as, "Maybe we should give her a few minutes and see whether she gets better."

It was beyond appalling.

I've saved 3 lives that I know of. That was one of them.

EDIT: On the other hand, the test was on the order of, "You manage old IT equipment. You notice that you're accumulating quite a pile in the hall. You should:
(a) Put it in a dumpster to get it out of the way.
(b) Call the proper disposal service to have it properly sorted and recycled."
Seriously. That was indeed the level of the questions.

Note that this specific question answer might depend on the state and local recycling laws. I suspect there are still places in USA where you can just drop old electronics to dumpster.

[gran rey de los mono]

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

Because Americans people always say that they already know all that crap and they are not dumb and feel insulted when they are told things they think they already know, and then proceed to do exactly the dumb s@#+.

And that also involves people who are very intelligent when they have a bad time or are in hurry or are handling things they are not exactly in their field of expertise.

I never understood this until my younger brother's girlfriend tore up her knee in the middle of the woods on a ski trip. My entire family, all college-educated, stood around staring at her lying in the snow in pain and likely soon to go into shock saying such things as, "Maybe we should give her a few minutes and see whether she gets better."

It was beyond appalling.

I've saved 3 lives that I know of. That was one of them.

EDIT: On the other hand, the test was on the order of, "You manage old IT equipment. You notice that you're accumulating quite a pile in the hall. You should:
(a) Put it in a dumpster to get it out of the way.
(b) Call the proper disposal service to have it properly sorted and recycled."
Seriously. That was indeed the level of the questions.

Note that this specific question answer might depend on the state and local recycling laws. I suspect there are still places in USA where you can just drop old electronics to dumpster.

I mean, technically you can always throw your electronics in a dumpster, you're just not supposed to.

[Vanykrye]

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Aaaand... Global Megacorporation's perfect record persists.

(1) NobodysHome sits through mandatory training.
(2) NobodysHome invites Impus Major, who has attended none of the training, to try the final exam.
(3) Impus Major gets 100% on the exam.

Why do I have to sit through this training, again?

Because Americans people always say that they already know all that crap and they are not dumb and feel insulted when they are told things they think they already know, and then proceed to do exactly the dumb s@#+.

And that also involves people who are very intelligent when they have a bad time or are in hurry or are handling things they are not exactly in their field of expertise.

I never understood this until my younger brother's girlfriend tore up her knee in the middle of the woods on a ski trip. My entire family, all college-educated, stood around staring at her lying in the snow in pain and likely soon to go into shock saying such things as, "Maybe we should give her a few minutes and see whether she gets better."

It was beyond appalling.

I've saved 3 lives that I know of. That was one of them.

EDIT: On the other hand, the test was on the order of, "You manage old IT equipment. You notice that you're accumulating quite a pile in the hall. You should:
(a) Put it in a dumpster to get it out of the way.
(b) Call the proper disposal service to have it properly sorted and recycled."
Seriously. That was indeed the level of the questions.

Note that this specific question answer might depend on the state and local recycling laws. I suspect there are still places in USA where you can just drop old electronics to dumpster.

Large corporations *usually* write their policies/procedures based on the strictest state laws of the states they operate in just so they don't have to have multiple sets of policies/procedures to publish.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vanykrye wrote:

Large corporations *usually* write their policies/procedures based on the strictest state laws of the states they operate in just so they don't have to have multiple sets of policies/procedures to publish.

And everyone always follows the written policies and procedures exactly as written.

[gran_funny_joke_time]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vanykrye wrote:

Large corporations *usually* write their policies/procedures based on the strictest state laws of the states they operate in just so they don't have to have multiple sets of policies/procedures to publish.

And everyone always follows the written policies and procedures exactly as written.

And everyone always follows the written policies and procedures exactly as written.

[gran rey de los mono]

Gotta love managers. Ever since COVID hit hard and our staff was cut to the bone, he's been all "We all have to do our part. Help out your coworkers, after all, they're your work family. I know you desk clerks hate doing laundry, but you need to do it in order to help out your work family." Blah, blah, f~##ity blah. Today, he worked 2nd shift, and as far as I can tell, he thought "Laundry? F++* that! I'm the manager, I don't do laundry!"

[Vidmaster7]

That is exactly how my managers are as well. the fact that other employees do a half arsed job and always come in half an hour late at least is basically them being lead by example.

[gran rey de los mono]

More fun stuff. Company switched to a new online learning platform (only 2 years after the last switch to what was supposed to be the "system that will take us into the future!"). So the manger said everyone was to log in, make sure all required training was done, and do any that aren't. It shows that my new hire training isn't done. I know for a goddamned fact that I've done it twice: once when I was hired, and again 2 years ago when they switched systems and it showed that I hadn't done it. I mentioned it to him tonight, and he said "Just do it again." So here I am, doing that shit again, on a super buggy system. Fun fun fun.

[gran rey de los mono]

This site sucks so bad. For instance, this course has 28 parts. Each part has to launched separately, completing one part doesn't let you go straight into the next part. Each part requires you to "choose an offering", which just means what language do you want it in. The only option for every one of them is "American English". So, if that's the only option, why the f!!# is it even an option?

[Vidmaster7]

We had something like that where I was suppose to do them again. I forgot about it and apparently my manager forgot about it so I assume its moot now. It has been about a year. so I guess their is some plus side to having a irresponsible manager.

[Limeylongears]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

This site sucks so bad. For instance, this course has 28 parts. Each part has to launched separately, completing one part doesn't let you go straight into the next part. Each part requires you to "choose an offering"

Are you sure this isn't your Angry God training?

[gran rey de los mono]

God I love this new learning site. It shows 5 courses as "Need to Complete ASAP!", and when I click on them, it says that they are 100% completed. But they don't show up as complete. But they are. But they don't show it.

[gran rey de los mono]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

This site sucks so bad. For instance, this course has 28 parts. Each part has to launched separately, completing one part doesn't let you go straight into the next part. Each part requires you to "choose an offering", which just means what language do you want it in. The only option for every one of them is "American English". So, if that's the only option, why the f+#% is it even an option?

Ohh, I found one that does have more than one option. It has 5. That all say "American English". Unless you click on the little details button, where you can find that, yes, one is English, but the others are Spanish, French, Italian, and Chinese. BUT THEY ALL SAY THEY ARE ENGLISH UNLESS YOU CLICK THE DETAILS!!!!

[Woran]

NobodysHome wrote:

Working for a global megacorporation has its disadvantages, one of which is that every year I have to take global compliance training in areas that don't apply to me.

Today's example? Workplace safety.

I usually diligently listen through anyway, just to pass the exam, get the cert, and be "certified safe" at my non-existent workplace for another year, but this year:
(1) COVID has shut down all our buildings worldwide so no one needs this training, and
(2) They "gamified" it to try to make it more "fun":

Global Megacorporation wrote:

You are about to go on an adventure to help keep your colleagues safe and compliant.

You will spend the next 45 minutes on Cloud Island helping to promote a safe workplace, prepare for emergencies, protect the environment and locate safety resources.

When you reach the end of your quest, you will receive credit for completing this course.

Ready to begin?

I think I threw up in my mouth a little just quoting that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Woran]

Damn gran. All the best for your parents.

[Freehold DM]

Woran wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Working for a global megacorporation has its disadvantages, one of which is that every year I have to take global compliance training in areas that don't apply to me.

Today's example? Workplace safety.

I usually diligently listen through anyway, just to pass the exam, get the cert, and be "certified safe" at my non-existent workplace for another year, but this year:
(1) COVID has shut down all our buildings worldwide so no one needs this training, and
(2) They "gamified" it to try to make it more "fun":

Global Megacorporation wrote:

You are about to go on an adventure to help keep your colleagues safe and compliant.

You will spend the next 45 minutes on Cloud Island helping to promote a safe workplace, prepare for emergencies, protect the environment and locate safety resources.

When you reach the end of your quest, you will receive credit for completing this course.

Ready to begin?

I think I threw up in my mouth a little just quoting that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I need your help on Cloud Island, Woran! Don't you want to help me survive?

[NobodysHome]

Shiro describes the issue with employee training quite well:

(1) The company doesn't care about the actual training, it just wants everyone to check the checkbox that they've taken it so that in the upcoming discrimination/unsafe work practice/whatever lawsuit, they can point out that the guilty employee completed the training so they're not culpable. It leads to stupid questions with ridiculously-easy answers. One such question: "During an evacuation, you find that your co-worker has sprained her ankle and cannot make it down the stairs. Do you:
- Carry her down yourself, or
- Call the security hotline, notify them that she's there, then continue to evacuate?"
If there had been a third answer of, "Stay with her until help arrives" I might have gotten it wrong. Instead, there was an obvious 'wrong' answer and an obvious 'right' answer. And that's true for every question.

(2) Since the questions are *SO* stupid, employees hate having to take such mindless training, and provide brutal feedback.

(3) Hearing the feedback, the people who produce the training try anything they can think of to make the training more "fun", not understanding that it's the stupidity of the questions that's offensive, not the format of the training. And they're not allowed to make the questions harder because the company wants everyone to pass.
And "more fun" = "takes longer" = employees hate it even MORE.

It's a vicious, stupid cycle.

[Tacticslion]

Tacticslion wrote:

Anyway, later!

Look, today, January 2021 is, technically, "later" than October of 2020.

... it's legitimate i swear-! so aside from a very broken computer, we're all doing well, here!

How's anyone else?

Love and miss you guys.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and a nice soon-coming Martin Luther King Jr. day! :D

[Freehold DM]

ITS TACTICSLION

DONT LET HIM GET AWAY

BREAK HIS LEGS

[Tacticslion]

Freehold DM wrote:

ITS TACTICSLION

YAY~! Freehold, it's good to see yo-

Freehold DM wrote:

DONT LET HIM GET AWAY

Um, I mean, I'm right here, I'm no-

Freehold DM wrote:

BREAK HIS LEGS

O.O

eep

[Tacticslion]

but my legs are how i walk all my stuff places

[Tacticslion]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Found out today that my Mom got the COVID. She hasn't needed to be hospitalized, yet at least, but she's not feeling good. Of course, this means my Dad will almost certainly get it as well. Not great news.

Oof. Praying for your family, man.

[Tacticslion]

NobodysHome wrote:

Woran wrote:

To cushion all that is gong on, we're mixing animated shows in with the viewing.

I can really recommend Hilda on Netflix. It is fantasy and def aimed for younger kids but still very good.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts. All kinds of optimistic animated fun.

Can confirm! Hilda and Kipo are both delightful, though different from each other.

Hilda is very low-key in many ways. There is excitement and action and adventure or what-not, but it's all very calm over-all. Very dry in some ways, but in a kind happy way.

Kipo is much more dramatic and splashy.

Either way, both are good (though I need to watch Hilda season 2).

[Tacticslion]

Mark Hoover 330 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Now make a half-fiend unicorn antipaladin and have them fight it out.

But... but... Friendship is Magic?!

Half-fiend... unicorn... antipaladin.

Hrm...

*scribbles notes*

EDIT:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Your probably right. I will say though I think the most scary force of good I ever created was a half celestial unicorn Paladin. Evil had no chance.

*scribbles more notes*

Woran wrote:

a certain starfinder society scenario has a unicorn with a grenade launcher strapped to its back.

O.O

*scribbles notes furiously*

[Tacticslion]

Vanykrye wrote:

Netflix series recommendation: I'm Not Okay With This

A dash of {i]Stranger Things[/i] and Umbrella Academy. A big, heaping pile of '80s John Hughes movies (specifically Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club). A young female lead doing her best to channel Elliot Page in Juno. Another big reference that I can't mention without spoiling the entire first season, but you'll guess it fairly easily.

It is on the predictable side of things, but I think it was still done well and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Having watched it, just to give a counter, I was not okay with I'm Not Okay with This when I saw it back... whenever it came out.

See, I'll enjoy Umbrella Academy (unwillingly, but I do), Stranger Things, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club and others, but I found INOWT to be extremely mean-spirited and cruel. Not, like, "lacking plot-armor" cruel (though there is some dash of that), but in "this is just needless" cruel.

This is not to bash Vany's taste - far from it! - but to let people know going into it that there is a (in my opinion) much darker element to it than even the very opening of the show actually helps prepare you for. At least it didn't prepare me for it - possibly because I've never seen the last reference on Vany's list (though I know what it is).

In a vaguely related genre I actually did enjoy Raising Dillon even if neither the PlotTwist(!tm!) nor the cliffhanger were my favorite.

I saw both of those some time back, though, and don't know if I spoke about them then or not.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Tacticslion]

Limeylongears wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

How do you know you're an obsessive-compulsive?

I just found my full tax forms dating back to 1980...

Oh my stars and garters.

There! I fixed it!

(I have, though long association with X-Men, been conditioned to finish the phrase as Beast does.)

[Tacticslion]

Anyway, three pages - low endurance count for me, but I got months to read, and likely won't 'cause phone screens aren't things I love staring at too long. Wheeeeeee~!

[Captain Yesterday Smurf]

Tacticswho now?

[captain yesterday]

Kipo is alright it's a bit hard for me to get into.

I love the art style of Hilda but it's a bit too young for my tastes.

If I still had kids that age though I'd definitely have them watching it.

[Vanykrye]

Hey Tac! Good to see you back, and hope you can stay!

[John Napier 698]

Hello, everyone.

Welcome back, TL!

[Existential Crisis C. Yesterday]

Are we sure it's not a mirage.

[Tacticslion]

No. And neither am I.

[Woran]

Tacticslion wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Woran wrote:

To cushion all that is gong on, we're mixing animated shows in with the viewing.

I can really recommend Hilda on Netflix. It is fantasy and def aimed for younger kids but still very good.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts. All kinds of optimistic animated fun.

Can confirm! Hilda and Kipo are both delightful, though different from each other.

Hilda is very low-key in many ways. There is excitement and action and adventure or what-not, but it's all very calm over-all. Very dry in some ways, but in a kind happy way.

Kipo is much more dramatic and splashy.

Either way, both are good (though I need to watch Hilda season 2).

Ooooooooh, it ramps up in season 2!

Be ready to have tissues ready when you watch the Twig episode.

[Mark Hoover 330]

Will I cry as much as I did in Stephen Universe? Or in Adventure Time? Or in Regular Show?

…

Do I just cry a lot?