Vralk, master of all's page

Heh, come to think of it, my Murders Mark (of Crows) was a bit egregious, too. But I 100% stand by the quality of that game!

Hmm

It was a great game, no doubt about that

This order is fine. I will make sure that the elf doesn't misbehave

Having picked up on his friends hidden disdain for the pompous elf, Vralk decides to get a little revenge of his own.

He flies overhead and just happens to accidentally drop a nut that he was eating so that it bounces off Luna's head.

"Caw. Caw" he says in a faux apologetic tone

This is for a familiar from another game. I'll try not to post too much for him but I couldn't resist this time. Ignore the stats and the "Master of All" :-) :-)

The raven greedily gobbles down the pretzel and asks for more. Even those who don't speak raven are pretty sure that he is asking for more :-)

"Vralk, save her!!! She will make better sausage that way!! Sausage IMPORTANT. Have to show the Dragon how to make Stirge Sausage Pie!!"

"I wonder what kind of sausage that BIG stirge will make? Please, take her alive. The sausage will probably taste a lot better that way!!

"Stirges!!! Great. Now we can make Stirge Sausage!!! Everybody - Be careful to just kill them, NOT destroy them. Need their blood!!! I'll distract them!!"

With that, Vralk starts flying in a way calculated to attract the attention of even a stirge, using the scarf that he is wearing to enhance his abilities

yes, as far as I can tell this is completely legal. If totally silly :-)

2 Stirges (Stirge Team Orange) have to make a Will save, DC 16, or be fascinated by the Crow !!

You right. Gallako STOOPID. Of course he could memorize create water

"pwew. Andry, you STINK. Gally, hose her down!! NOW!"

Sorry for the delay. I've been preparing for a quite important trip (I leave tomorrow). For the next 10 days or so my posting will likely be sporadic. Feel free to Bot me as required

"Now that we have given you food we should give you PIE!!!!. Bestest pie is the Bacon pie with Stirge Sausage and those REALLY hot peppers. And mushrooms. Lots of mushrooms. With HONEY!!! Somebody should cook that!!"

Vralk not do acrobatics. Vralk fly.

Silly GM :-)

"No. I stay with Gally. I need to make sure that he is safe"

And he believes every word of that :-). Fooling yourself is a wonderful thing :-)

"You never had pie? NEVER? Pie bestest food in WHOLE world. You put whatever REALLY good inside. Stirge sausage. Bacon. Rhubarb and strawberry. Bacon and cherry. All good.

We not have any now. But if you come back with us, we make you some. Other Orccs like you a lot if you show how to make PIE!!"

Decades from now, history will mark this as the moment that the greatest Orc kingdom ever known was born. An kingdom built partly on violence (it is orcish, after all) but mostly on the unifying power of good food, on the power that comes with being the first to make PIE!!

Totally ignoring the fact that there hasn't been pie for several days, despite his asking this question, Vralk optimistically asks:

"You have pie too? Tea goes best with Pie!"

"Tengu? TENGU? YOU may be a Tengu but I, Vralk the MIGHTY, am a CROW. And it is ME who leads this Murder. Although I sometimes listen to the advice of Gallako be sure it is I who make the decisions"

A little earlier

"Fuse grenade? I want one. Or two. REALLY REALLY REALLY want.

By the way, how do they work?"

"I think I like this Karkadon. Me go talk to him. Discuss food. See if he has ever eaten Stirge Pie. We make Stirge Pie, give to Karkadon, make friends"

"Orc liver? Can we put in pie? EVERTHING tastes better in a pie"

Not sure what bonus a raven who is quite sincere gets in this position, but attempting to roll intimidate to aid

intimidate: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (16) - 2 = 14

"Mine. This is MINE!" Vralk calls out as he flies down and grabs a Tanglefoot Bag

If anybody else wants it please just take it. Vralk is greedy, not me! :-)

"Bake them into a Pie? Do orcs taste good? Never tried orc pie before!"

Are you lot done in there yet? I'm bored out here. Coming in"

Vralk flies in

"Don't worry, I'll make sure that nobody attacks us from the rear"

Vralk then flies up to the surface to look out there

"Yes Orcsies. There is no need to face Vralk the Mighty!!!. Negotiation is best!"

diplomacy aid: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

:-) :-)

"Oooooowwwww"

I actually intended mage armor to be up but I forgot to tell you :-). My mistake and this is far too amusing to retrofit :-)

Vralk returns to Gallako
"Why you no put magic armor up on me? BAD Crow. BAD. Now fix me up!! Now"

"Of course I can see into the chaasm. And I can carry a rope for you poor land bound people if necessary"

Vralk first flies overhead and tries to see in. If nothing immediately dangerous appears, he goes in to see how far down things are

Using message
"There were two bands of orcs but I drove them off and they are now fleeing away from me!"

Fortunately, Vralk was distracted by the stew and didn't notice the Tengu claiming that HE was a kid who had to be LOOKED AFTER

"I will scout ahead from the air and lead my group safely across these wastes"

When we leave, Vralk would fly fairly high up to try and spot orc warbands but be mostly out of arrow shot.

"EXCUSE ME. That is one MIGHTY CROW, the GREAT and MIGHTY VRALK."

He then adds quite quietly
"Together with 6 Tengu"

"We need LOTS and LOTS of pie! Stirge Pie, Mussle Pie, Meat Pie, Fruit Pie. PIE!!!!! Enough to last there AND back."

"And clearly all the potions should go to ME, VRALK the Mighty, so that I can better smite our enemies"

I suppose at some point I should realize that Vralks IQ is actually getting higher (its 8 now) :-). But this is more fun

If this wasn't PFS I'd be pestering the GM to allow me to research a "preserve pie" spell. And I somehow get the impression that if this wasn't PFS Hilary would let me :-) :-)

Vralk comes down and perches on Sarano

"Don't worry pretty one. VRALK the MIGHTY will make sure that no orcs hurt you. No need to be scared"

Darn it. Every now and then Paizo refuses to tell me that this page has been updated. It happens sufficiently infrequently that I don't manually check as much as I should. Just saw all these posts now. Sorry for the delay in posting

"Book boring. I'm Hungry. Do you have Pie? Clam Chowder Pie is fine if that is all you have. But Stirge Chowder Pie would be better"

I am also updated. And now I am even MORE special. I GLOW when I fly and a map of the stars above appear on my feathers. And I can fly FASTER than before. Bow down before me for Vralk the Mighty is even MIGHTIER than before.

Well, you don't have to bow down because you're my friends. Who give me PIE!

"There MUST be Pie. I DEMAND Pie!!!"

Vralk will come in and attempt to drop an Alchemist's fire on the monster

attack: 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 4 + 2 = 16 touch attack for damage: 1d6 ⇒ 2

Flying about 50 feet up (hopefully above the mosquitos) Vralk whispers directions via message. And generally tries to keep an eye out for surprises.

perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (15) + 9 = 24
stealth: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (13) + 14 = 27

Vralk would, for once, allow discretion to overrule his arrogance and return to the group without going any closer

"I'm back. There is a maze. LOTS of people. LOTS and LOTS of bugs. Blood sucking bugs. Mosquitos. LOTS and LOTS. Oh, and somebody tied up and sleeping.

But I can lead you to center!!!!"

"I will check up on our enemies. For none can spot Vralk the Stealthy!!"

Vralk will fly up to about 100 feet (well out of the range of Darkvision) and fly over both the outbuildings and the crops to the north (from which we heard chanting earlier).

He has low light vision but NOT darkvision (not that the latter would help :-)).

perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (9) + 9 = 18
stealth: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (20) + 14 = 34

Wow. When I said Vralk the stealthy apparently I meant it :-)

Gallako has message and will cast it on Vralk. Unfortunately, won't be of any use until Vralk comes very close again (Gallako has to be able to see Vralk to point at him :-(

"Is it safe to come in there yet? Is it dead? RREALLY REAAAALLLY DDEEEEADD?"

I seem to have decided that Vralk also has Arachnophobia :-)

know Arcana: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

Sorry, I'm a little confused. Which slide/map are we on right now? I think slide 5 but aren't quite sure

Vralk heads into the room and sees the spider thing

"Arrrggggghhhh. Spider. You've all got this, right? Sppppiiiiidddddeeer"

And flies back out

"Hey. Gally ok. Others are too. I think they won a fight or something"

"I'll stay with Stali. When something happens GAlly will let me know and I'll order you to attack. With my leadership we can NOT fail"

Vralk preens his feathers, convinced that it was HE who managed to save his good friend Hikaru.

"Yes, must save village. Anywhere that creates Sausage Pie MUST be saved!!"

He then visibly does a double take and looks alarmed

"Sausage Pie not evil? Not blood of children? Just stirges?"

Vralk, of course, flies in EXACTLY the right direction. He is, after all, Vralk the MIGHTY.

Seeing his friend Hikaru under attack he'll do two things
1) To the extent possible (its really unclear) he'll use his empathic link with Gallako to send a "URGENT, OVER HERE" message

2) He'll then bravely come diving in at one of the stirges.

Ah, now for the joys of tiny vs tiny combat in D&D :-). He is far mar a distraction than anything else.

attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23 for 1 point of non lethal if it hits

"Vralk CLEARLY know which way to look."

random direction: 1d8 ⇒ 8

Vralk goes into Hikarus room and notices that he is missing and the window open

"Hikaru is missing. Window open. Somebody must have taken him. Tell Gallako, I go look for Hikaru"

With that, he flies out the window and gets some altitude to look around and see if he can find Hikaru

He has low light vision and NOT darkvision. Obviously, TOTALLY up to you what he sees, depending on what is convenient for the story :-)

"I'll wake her up!"

With that Vralk hops onto Sarano's head and proceeds to nibble on her ear, proceeding to biting it if nibbling doesn't work

I am surprised, astonished, and amazed that Vralk hasn't announced himself as Feast Queen already.

Vralk mutters something in his sleep that can't be made out, then turns over and resumes snoring loudly

"SAUSAGE PIE!!! I love you guys. This is the best place EVER!"

After eating more sausage pie than should be able to fit into a crow, he proceeds to lie down and have a nap.

Its AMAZING how loudly a stuffed Crow can snore :-) :-)

Vralk tries all the meat portions of the food

"These tick legs aren't bad. Silkworms ok. Roast pig not bad but prefer Bacon.

Stirge Sausage! This IS BEST FOOD EVER. Better than PIE!!. Want MORE!!!. Do you have Sausage Pie???"

He then proceeds to stuff his little self with as much sausage as he can manage to get down,

"You bring bad pig, pig that is plant demon, and DARE to insult friends of VRALK THE MIGHTY because they kill bad pig thing? You stoopid. Pig thing YOUR fault, not ours. GOOD thing Hikaru brought sword. You say sorry. NOW!

diplomacy: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10