Vod Canockers's page

A slight deviation, instead of a website that might be a Poe, this time it's a website detailing something that might have been a Poe.

Saga of the Mall Ninja

I think I use to work with this guy. I had a coworker that participated in every combat action in the world between Viet Nam and Desert Storm. Every one, and it didn't matter who was fighting, he was there. Usually getting shot.

Maybe roll randomly to see if your alignment changes like the Nameless One. And while we're at it, why not a whole new name, too? Your human paladin can't keep calling himself Steve when he reincarnates as a chaotic evil female kobold.

Steve is a very popular name amongst female Chaotic Evil Kobolds.

Grease Spell.

14) Materials testing. Animate a bunch of skeletons and have them walk back and forth on various materials to see which wears out first.

When my nephew was small, he couldn't say Chicago, it would come out as Codger. So we would watch the Codger Cubs, the Codger Bears, the Codger White Sox, etc on TV.

Once again, not technically my *kid*, but...

I was at our corner store for one of my 3-4 times a week trips, but this time I actually used a cart and filled 3 shopping bags with various foodstuffs. The wonderful checker (the owner's wife, I believe) started asking me about my family, and was appalled to learn there were only 4 of us, since we're in the store so often.

I pointed out that Impus Major is 14, weighs 85 pounds, and eats 3000-4000 calories a day. I pointed to the bag of stuff for him (two frozen dinners, two pints of tomatoes, an avocado, and half a gallon of milk) and said, "For example, he'll eat everything in that bag as soon as he gets home this afternoon."

She cocked her eyebrow at me, so I re-looked at the bag...
...and saw the six-pack of beer at the bottom...

This is funny S#$& my kid says, not funny S#$& I say.

70a Rounds. I want to go back to where combat was each round is a minute. None of this, we killed a dragon in 6 or 12 seconds.

67. Sex based stat differences.

Drejk wrote:

Queen Moragan wrote:

As an Archeologist, I would say long enough for any relatives of the occupant of the tomb, that were alive whilst the occupant of the tomb was also alive, to be all dead.

That can be arranged.

True, but committing mass murder/genocide in order to fulfill that requirement would most definitely put one in the grave robbing category.

No, that puts one in the grave-filling category.

If you have a degree in archeology it is always archeology.
If you don't have a degree it is always grave robbing.

71 A giant turtle on the backs of four elephants.

A good one makes the game better.
A bad one makes the game worse.

My bard does 5 points of damage every time a party member hits.

My son, around 3, was walking around the house talking softly to himself. My friend asked what he was doing and he replied, "Don't bother me. I'm doing rapid calculations.".

If he starts building something, be afraid, be very afraid.

LazarX wrote:

Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert wrote:

Zhayne wrote:

As I understand it, Brace means you're bracing the butt end of the weapon against the ground, not simply planting your feet and getting ready for it. if we're talking rifle bayonets, rifles simply aren't that long.

If you are talking about a musket with a bayonet, however, that is exactly how it is used when facing cavalry.

Badly. The bayoneted rifle was generally used against other infantry because you had one shot and a horrendous reload time. When it came to bracing against cavalry, that was centuries earlier with pikemen.

17th to 18th century tech had bayonets and rifles destroying cavalry. it's the main reason we saw cavalry fall off as a battlefield front line unit.

first you fire your volley at the horses, who then promptly freak if they survived, and then you brace for the rest.

The last horse cavalry charge by the United States was in 1941. Horse cavalry was common through the 19th century. What truly ended horse cavalry was repeating rifles and machine guns.

I want to wish the French Police a safe mission in the capture of the two terrorists that they have holed up, and the safe return of the hostage(s).

Uhm, guys... there has been so much talk about how brilliant socialized health care is, and everyone's been looking at Sweden as the bright shining example. As a Swede, I think the idea that everyone should have the opportunity to get an education is far, far more important. There is a reason why Sweden has done as well as it has in research and technology. Let's face it: No country that wants to flourish can afford to let bright young people flip burgers. Believe me when I say 34 billion dollars is a VERY small price to pay.

Easily said when you are not having to come up with the $34 billion. Sorry, the US Government needs to cut spending, not come up with ways to keep spending it.

Catch the PCs in epic battle between the Gazebo and its natural arch-enemy the Zephyr.

52. In a six month time period go from an untried doofus to one of the most powerful mortal beings on the planet.

Reportedly when Martina Navratilova defected to the US, she asked the Government if they would cache a Czech.

Maybe there should be a kickstarter to fund general education about what REPRESENTATIVE democracy means...

Or maybe to teach the US Constitution

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

A Kickstarter to force scientists to acknowledge that DNA is NOT a double helix. To fight evil and prevent rampant genetic engineering, apparently.

I'm shocked it hasn't had more contributors. :P

I should start a Kickstarter to make people stop calling the U.S. a Democracy, because it's a Republic.

Vod Canockers wrote:

Shadowborn wrote:

Speaking of classics...

The Flat Earth Society long predates the Internet, and is a real organization of people that believe that the earth is flat.

Yes, I know. I've been to the site. Hence my reference to it being a classic. They have a marvelous way of blinding themselves to the wealth of data we have from modern physics and space exploration.

But it isn't a spoof site, they are serious, no satire involved.

Check out the Eastborough Baptist Church for a satire site.

It's a little known fact that a Mimic's favorite shape is that of 'Pants' so there is a great fear of wearing 'Pants.'

Alternately:

In Soviet Golarion; Pants wear you.

Or:

Pants were invented by Ettercaps and they have been defending their patent rights religiously, the ability of any race other than Ettercaps to produce pants has been tied up in the courts for millennia. There is rumor that Aroden was going to give a decision that would allow other races to produce pants, and was assassinated before his decision was known.

The United States for about 30 seconds after the Constitution was ratified. Then the political fighting started...

Bloat started with the APG.

One reminds said daughter that Han shot First. *Sidelong look at Spanky*

Han did NOT shoot first. Han shot, Greedo died. There was no second shot!

472) Horton Hears a GOO

The adventures of an awakened Mammoth on the Plateau of Leng.

He's just lucky it wasn't dragging a rock along.

If you allow a spellcaster to cast a quickened spell as a standard action, do you let them ignore (or change) any other metamagic spell?

Cast a Quickened Spell

You can cast a quickened spell (see the Quicken Spell feat), or any spell whose casting time is designated as a free or swift action, as a swift action. Only one such spell can be cast in any round, and such spells don't count toward your normal limit of one spell per round. Casting a spell as a swift action doesn't incur an attack of opportunity.

Note that it says you CAN, not you MUST. So at least in the case of a Quickened Spell, or spells that are Free, Swift or Immediate actions to cast, they can be cast as Standard Actions.

The Subpoena so people can read it themselves, and HERO

In my opinion the subpoena is way, and a very big way, too broad. If I were the Pastor and inclined not to fight the subpoena, I would send every piece of paper, book, document, etc. that I or the Church owned and demand a receipt documenting everything. Why exactly do they need his resume?

I do not condone the use of a church for political purposes, but neither do I condone the use of Political power to go after an opponent.

PS: I should add that I support the idea behind the ordinance, but not the tactics of either side.

Just watching Ghostbusters.

That's not accurate, there have been plenty of times when I was a God that had no idea what he was doing.

Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

How would being able to spend your standard action to use an ability that takes a swift action to do result in casting three spells per round?

1 Swift

1 Move downgraded to Swift
1 Standard

2x Quickened Spell, 1x regular casting of spell = 3x Spells cast in one round

All the GMs I play with, including myself, go RAW, which is ONE swift action per round period.

How are you downgrading a Move to a Swift?

Windows 1.X
Windows 2.X
Windows 3.X
Windows 95
Windows NT 4.0
Windows 98
Windows 2000
Windows Me
Windows XP
Windows Vista
Windows 7
Windows 8.X
Windows 10

They must be using a Pentium Processor to count Windows Editions.

Freehold DM wrote:

Now we can watch cartoons whenever we want.

Whenever we want.

It's what we dreamed of as kids.

I still have the frosted flakes.

Shame the footie pajamas don't fit anymore.

Pajama City

The sign up sheet is with Professor H.O. Tindalos over in the corner.

Avoid the Chaos Theory course, it's taught by Dr. C.T. Hulhu.

Is starting an argument to get someone to eat a keyboard an evil act?

Automan

Automan opening

Why does everyone keep talking about sin?

** spoiler omitted **

Two wrongs may not make a right, but three lefts do.

PIXIE DUST wrote:

I find it funny that the Book of Elder Evils had the leviathan and in it's description it literally said that it was so large that general game descriptions could not be applied to it xD

Indeed... beyond a certain point, you need to start calling it geography rather than anatomy.

Kilimanjaran

Somewhere Mel Gibson is yelling, "SLAVERY!"

It's a false question. There is no "who shot first." There was only one shot.

Every race is racist, of course pointing this out only gets you called a racist.

Don't talk about Pilot Club?

As an American, I do understand the units they use pretty well. (They're really only the most basic units that would be used by most americans) I also do feel like it does have a dash of imperial/medieval/ancient feel to it.

However, I wish all of us here in the states would just use the metric system. It's really easy since everything is divisible by 10, and you only have to add prefixes to base units to get a different scale of measurement.

Honestly, if it wasn't a thing you had to use in everyday things with normal people (I say this very loosely), I would be using metric all the time.

I'm sorry, the US and maybe one or two other countries are using the imperial system (and not consistent ones either), but we need to get on board. :P

I have two big problems with the Metric system. First the actual measurements are poor. They should have just said 1g (gravity) = 12 meters/second/second. And they should have used base 12!

Base 12 is much better for dividing things up than base 10. With base 12, you can divide things easily into halves, thirds, quarters, sixths, and fairly easily into eighths and ninths. With base ten, it's halves and fifths. We even have special words for 12 and 144.

Because all the money is in the rules books and not the adventures.

To be honest there is too much I don't like about Pathfinder to ever run with it as written.

So if I build a modest three story house, with four 10x10 ft. rooms per floor, divided by regular old masonry walls...

twelve 10x10 sections per floor, times three floors. Four more for a floor times four to make three floors and a roof, equals 16 plus the 36 before. 52.

Plus a front door and a back door, and doors to the four bedrooms on the second floor, and a door to the attic/third floor. Seven doors.

4,750 hit points. Hardness 8 for most of it.

We need to nerf houses.

In order to nerf houses, they must be made of Nerf(tm).