Smiley Stonegirdle's page

Thanks for jumping in!

Player: Caro Cogitatus
Character: Smiley Stonegirdle
PFS#: 106336-12
Faction: The Exchange
Day Job (rolled previously in this thread): Profession Odd Jobs: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16
XP: 7

System is not letting me post a dice roll, but I rolled a 10 for my boon.

Go, go, runnershirt, GO!

Smiley moves faster than seems possible (Quick Runner's Shirt) up and tries to wrap up Pava in his arms, recalling how his brother Drego used to pin his arms back while Drego's twin Durgo yanked down Smiley breeches.

Martial Flexibility for Improved Grapple

Improved Grapple: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 7 + 2 = 18

Quick Runner's Shirt 0/1, MF 3/4

Yar, quit yappin' yer flap and come and take them if ye want them so much.

Intimidate, Aid Another: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Smiley's intimidating glare is somewhat less effective due to his belt suddenly coming untied and his pants falling to the floor.

Hang on, I got this.

He reties the belt, but the moment has passed.

Har! Lemme in there!

Smiley moves into position and strikes out with a vicious kick to the shins.

Unarmed Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

Here's the explanation: INT 8 (-1)

LOL, Tholand. I don't need good dice rolls. I'm the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son! Just ask my seven older brothers!

Smiley lends his muscles to the effort.

Strength assist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

Perception DC15: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11

Smiley does not notice whatever slavering beast is waiting to devour them, but he moves to enter the cave if not prevented.

Oh, it's on.

Har! Ye'll never win! I have the luck of a Seventh Son of a Seventh Son! Hoo there, watch yer step!

Smiley starts showing off...

Climb: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8

...and promptly starts rolling downhill.

Smiley recalls his many hours scaling the peaks of Five Kings Mountain with his brothers.

Har! Finally, somet'in Ole Smiley's good at!

Having taunted Dicebot by expecting a good result, let's see...

Climb: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15

Thanks, Dicebot. No hard feelings.

Ole Smiley don't know much about book-learnin', but he likes a good map. Lemme see here...

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

Hey, I found my home! Lookee here!

Smiley engages Bearjaw in discussion of Smiley's many victories in battle, and tries to draw out stories from the butcher.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Har! What they said.

Smiley crosses his arms, satisfied with being helpful in this endeavor.

Smiley glances surreptitiously at the small, strange, warped piece of metal, halfway between a ring and an outstretched serpent.

Ummm...about that...

He does not seem to know how to proceed.

Smiley tries once more to shut up the annoying little outsider. Twice, actually.

Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

Oh, no, ya doesn't!

Smiley moves close to Mikhail and tries to clap the snake between his mighty hands.

Unarmed Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Kids, never based your entire backstory on a character thinking that they're especially lucky. Dicebot does not like it.

Arvok. I'm assuming 44 points damage will turn him into a puddle.

Anybody got a potion of CLW for this reddish puddle over here?

Am I hearing that Arvok has Damage Resistance 10+? Did making it Nonlethal make a difference?

Smiley moves into position and throws a mighty punch at the merchant.

Unarmed Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15 Damage, Nonlethal: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

Yerp. I think we just need to talk to you, friend.

Diplomacy, Aid Another: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

It appears that Smiley's subtle sarcasm on the word "friend" was not as subtle as he intended.

Glad to have you back, GM Pendrak.

Smiley does not flinch when the woman in the locket responds to him. It's exactly what he expected.

Ho! Well, then, we'll find that ring for ya, little lady!

He turns to Delara.

Who'd ya sell it to, and fer how much?

Smiley jumps in surprise as the locket speaks to him, then smiles broadly.

Well, howdy there, little lady! And I do mean little. How do you even fit in there anyway?

He turns the locket over, looking for a door or something, then turns it back.

Well, I can say for sure that you're in luck. Smiley Stonegirdle, Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, is here to help. What can Ole Smiley do for you?

Har! Right you are, Tholand Warmane. About the punchin' anyway.

Smiley produces a mug of beer from...somewhere...and takes a deep swig.

But you can have my beer when I'm cold and buried. Har!

Travel there and meet with her to either obtain or look at the locket. Please refrain from more questionable means of doing so, because the last thing the Pathfinders need is to annoy one so well-connected.

Ole Smiley's not afraid of a curse. Can I hold it?

Smiley's not so good with fancy-talk. He bows respectfully and allows one of the fancy-talkers to fancy-talk. Because he's not so good with fancy-talk.

Ole Smiley's got Smellcraft and Detect Beer. Does that count?

Har! Come closer so I can squeeze yer neck!

Smiley attempts twice to squeeze her neck.

Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6 Minimum damage. Of course.

Yar! Mikhail, scootch over, willya? I can barely get an elbow in!

If you take a 5 ft step to the right, you'll still be flanking, and I can step over and flank also.

Smiley channels all of his frustration at hitting a lot of air and nothing else into two mighty swings.

Unarmed, Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Unarmed, Power Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

And his frustration intensifies.

Goblin Rule #1 is "It's not illegal if you don't get caught".

As far as I know, there is no Rule #2.

Smiley moves into position and tries kicking the goblin in the teeth.

Unarmed, Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

Gar! Stuipid goblins!! Stand still so Ole Smiley can squeeze yer neck!

Smiley moves up and strikes at Red with a mighty fist.

Unarmed, Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

The air around his target becomes bruised, presumably.

Did the goblins move? I was pretty sure Smiley was adjacent to Red after Surprise round. Should he get an AoO from firing a missile weapon and/or moving away from a threatened square?

Smiley takes the initiative and rushes into position in front of the nearest goblin.

Har! It's neck-squeezin' time, and you got a head just ripe for squishin'!

Knowledge Geog DC10, Untrained: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Smiley knows literally nothing about Geography.

Stealth DC9: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11

But he does manage to sneak up on the goblins.

Ole Smiley doesn't know about that plan, Hskoro. If we turn the bandits into authorities, what will happen to the current authorities? Will they become bandits? Ole Smiley's just spitballin' here, but I think we should let the authorities arrest them.

Smiley is genuinely confused by the plan and thinks he's got a better one. He doesn't hold it against Hskoro that Hskoro has such a poor understanding of law enforcement techniques. Everyone has their limitations.

Knowledge Local: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18

Smiley shares what he remembers about the Chitterwood (DC10 and DC15 spoilers).

Smiley doesn't need to purchase anything that doesn't come in a mug.

Survival: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

Smiley finds the painting somewhat distasteful, but knows nothing of the painting process.

Smiley takes the opportunity of Blue standing up to provide a punch to the nose.

AoO, Power Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
Crit Confirm: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

He then adjusts his position (5 ft step) and tries his mighty fists against the boss.

Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

Har, yer new pointy things are gonna be just as useless as yer old pointy things. And here's a couple of fists to make my point!

Smiley finds himself quite witty and laughs uproariously as he throws two more mighty punches at Red.

Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

After missing mightily, he stares at his hands as if wondering whether they were haunted.

Well, at least the air near ya has been pounded into submission! Har!

Yup, welcome back. We'll continue when you are ready.

Real Life comes first. I can wait.

Real Life comes first. Hope things are better.

Ah, Will saves. My specialty.

Will DC14: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14

Woot!

Smiley steps up and strikes at Red with a series of powerful blows.

Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
Unarmed, Power Attack + Brawler's Fury: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5 Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Har! Yeah, what he said!

Har! That's not sportin'! Go, go, runnershirt, Go!

Smiley's legs move faster than you think they should, just for a moment, but it's enough to get him in the faces of the archers.

Swift action to activate Quick Runner's shirt, then Double Move at 20ft.

It's Neck-Squeezin' Time. Who's first?

Map?

Smiley similarly has Darkvision and feels no need for external light.

Well, now everyone but Mikhail has posted. Is it time to Bot him this round?