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I blame Cosmo that Ambrosia is now the real account, and now I'm just an alias... oh whoa is me!
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...With the changes in the Advanced Players Guide, I have decided that we are goign to redo the Race Creation Cookbook for Pathfinder from the ground up. I was never completely happy with the Pathfinder update over the 3.5 version. Don't worry if you already have brought the current Pathfinder version of the Race Creation Cookbook, we will be updating you with this new one for free (PDF only of course). Any news on when this updated version might be tentatively scheduled for release? 
Welcome to the neverending thread! *Please don't let Falkor or Bastian show up.* smurf!
2 (deceased, self-cannibalized, now undead)
Rise. RISE!
*Too bad Lilith doesn't deliver.* {casts Unseen Servant} Please distibute these cookies to the President's Cabinent and Royal Guests. {to Ms. Duncan} Ah, hello, I see you are here for you sauna appointment. {dons toque blanche and apron} Abra-ca-pocus!...
Cracking idea! {casts Summon Food Delivery II}
I'm bored. Can I have some cookies? {looks up from stirring Cluebie bisque} No! No soup for you! {shakes ladle angrily}
Burma-Shave
Fanboy;
How could you let this thread fall below the fold! Are you turning into a bunch of slackers? Don't
Who are you talking to? Oh well. Stop attacking me, or I will blow up the cooking pot over there. {whispers} I think Chef's gotten into the cooking sherry again. Ha ha ha... You are very cute! You think I'm cute?! {looks down at his own whithered undead form filled with melon-baller holes} Yep, definitely been into the sherry, by at least half a bottle.
Huh, that's not how Bugs makes it. Oh well... {adds cumin}
Don't need your ladle, I can use a regular one now that my Ghost Touch 'Ove-Gloves' arrived (free with my Flumpf-Wow order). Oooo, pecan sandies. {pounces upon them like starved Cookie Monster}
I'm so confused! Welcome, welcome! *Boy security is getting lax* Chef has an opening for you in the kitch-, er, spa. {ushers Cluebie along} Lord Moorluck has strict cleanliness requirements before granting a temporary visa... ah yes, this bath is open now. Hurry up, hurry up, you don't want to be caught breaking the law do you? {helps him into stew pot} There you go, just relax your worries away. The water is nice and warm. What did you say your species was? That's ok, I'll just put down "Wild Turkey Surprise."
Don't be silly. No one died in the Queen's dungeon. Well, not for very long. And the nanites really do improve their longterm physical well-being. Just ask them. And they're so much more agreeable now. Although that last one is taking an awful long time to locate our missing Hugh Jackman who is running quite late for his scheduled debriefing. I'm starting to get seriously annoyed. {drifts off looking for Hugh} Look, Hugh, you need to man up. Go back in there and face the peril. {looks behind couch} Look, it's your duty as a man to sample as much peril as you can. {looks in kitchen pantry} Oh, won't you have just a little bit of peril? And don't freak out 'cause I'm full of melon-ball-sized holes.
{watches Jackskunk implode into nothingness} "That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it. They want more."
He'll be here all week! Try the Pecan Sandies! I can stay forever, being a ghost and all. Does this castle fortress have an official haunting yet? I mean other than the poor souls who died of exhaustion in the Queen's dungeon? {hand passes through container of cookies} Damn!
Silly snake! Why do you slash at your own nose? To spite his face? *rimshot* Take my orc, PLEASE!
{see's lynora-Jill is now safe} Oh, Rusty, I'm tired! You win; you caught me. {un-possesses armor and let's it fall to the floor}
Oh, I hope that rust monsters can't climb! <Hops up and down> I can't reach! Can you get down off the table? Please? *I may be dead, but maybe I can still help here* {possesses old forgotten suit of armor} Hey, Rusty, over here! Let's play tag- you're it! {runs off at top speed away from lynora-Jill and Rusty}
<Looks at Moorluck's Rustmonster, dreamily> Can I play with you? <Bats eyelashes> Sorry to kill the mood, Rusty: "But they're cousins, identical cousins all the way;
* Crap, I think I've been possessed by Karaokeheart!!! * "Still they're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find
I'm looking for a volunteer webmaster... Sent you an email. If I can be of help, let me know.
Sure, whatever. Melon-ball to your heart's content. {sigh} Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they want to make me into a ghostly dessert.
Help yerself, just quit leaking on the rug, it used to be a Silver dragon, try to show some respect will ya'. Sorry, new to this whole undead template. I think protoplasm evaporates in a few moments anyway. And the Slaadi need to set up a meeting with my Lord Secretary of Foreign Affairs, if he decides to show up from his latest affair. The slaves are under my protection, but you can join us in plugging some hobgobs, if'n ya want. The Slaadi set up a meeting?! He he he he, don't hold your breath on that one. I don't think I'd be much help with your tortore fun. Apparently SOMEONE {shakes fist at unseen diety/GM} switched out my Fear with Whine and Annoy at will. {sigh} And I'm incorporeal, so I can't even lightly poke a living hobgoblin. I should probably just go haunt those two tarts that left me like this...
{shimmers into view} Ooooooooooo! OOOOOOOOOOO! President Moorluck... {rattles chains} Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits! The ghosts of Ch- {looks slightly confused} Er, ahem, sorry... wrong script. President Moorluck... in your wisdom, you have magnanimously offered gifts to both the Pood-dulls and Jacks. However, by making not even a token offering to the Slaadi, they may preceive it as a slight and be stirred into action. Granted, they are not always the brightest bulbs and are often preoccupied with egg tournaments and pic-a-nics, but eventually Mistress Chaos will unleash a Mighty Clouting from a Vorpal ClueByFour upon one of them. Mayhaps, you might consider dumping some of your least productive and least healthy slaves upon their Thread and call it a Gift? Are those poodles-in-a-blanket and baazetu-ed eggs?! Oh I love those... so hungry! {hors d'oeuvres slip through fingers} Darn it!!!
I'll bet we could take over that other thread. We breed like rabbits. {appears as ghost} OooooooooooCOUGHoooCOUGHCOUGHHACKoooo- ah forget it. If any of you are green slaad, just polymorph into someone inconspicous and infiltrate their thread. Chaos (and eggs) from within. * I'm really hoping I'm not really dead, and I just wake up in 1980s Victoria Principal's shower. Stupid other me's! *
But- but- you can't be... this is completely insane!!!
Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first... I hope the well is along the way. You can use an ice-cold dunking... {follows Ambrosia} {stunned, looks around disoriented} Wha-? How-? You two are only supposed to be alternate identities of ME! Hey, wait up! And how did you both get your own bodies?
Sounds kinda tame to me... you should ask her if she'd like to go to a slaad bar. It's not exactly helping your "tough guy" image if you ask her to a picnic. Nah, I tried, but she's not interested in me. Something about how I spend to much time as Ambrosia Slaad. Sigh, so much for ladies wanting a modern slaad not afraid to get to get in touch with his "sensitive side." You know life'd be a lot easier if I hadn't been hosted as a laarva in that d*mn waitress in Waterdeep (LINK SPOILER: Ctrl+F for Edwin's fate.) Anyway, I'm sure he'll pick out a nice spot on a hill under a blood-red sky, sweet brimstone breezes, and a great view of the Blood War.
I just found out that some anarco-sydicalist commune named Wonka's Of The Candystore owns us all! We're not OGL! {falls into a funk}
OK, but can we hit them with cricket bats or polo mallets first, then smush them into pool balls?
That runt Vinnie was right though... Puddles? Yeha, wee our berry taterfull. {gives Puddle a hearty punt} Begone, foul Pood-dull! Hey, these Pood-dulls make pretty good punting. Maybe we slaads should play cricket or soccer with pood-dulls as the balls?
{shifts back from Ambrosia form} Get lost runt! {punts Vinnie over the horizon}
I was at a picnic the other day, and I think someone accidently stepped in something you'd roll over. Accidentally?! Are you sure? I think they were just surreptitiously collecting saltpetre. Add a little sulfur and charcoal, pack it in a bamboo tube with some diamonds, point it at the Gorn... And yes, I am so chaotic that I can be here and over in the Pood-dull thread at the same time!
Maybe at Slaad Con we should encourage everyone (especially the pood-dulls) to sign up for the Cool Hand Luke egg-eating contest (points off for chewing, eggs should be swallowed whole). Hey, I've never egged a pood-dull before... does any slaad know if the slaad hatchling will still end up a proper bipedal slaad, or if they'll come out quadruped, like that poor xenomorph in Aliens III?
Sorry I've been gone... been busy converting Pood-dull and Wafu Dretching into a defensive perimeter of "landmines" to fence out the poodles. Poodles respect "landmines." Bikers never seem to like me... I empathize. This happens to me a lot too. Augh, at least you're not Jello Slaad -- he's got weird bits of stuff floating suspended in his flesh. Looks like a damned gelatinous cube squashed into a Slaad mold. <Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>I've still got you, right Waffles? No kid, she's over there as that landmine... and that one... and that one...
-- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools {bites head off Pood-dull} Not as good as free-range dretching, but not bad for fast food. *runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.* Hey! Give me 15 minutes to digest this high-fiber Pood-DULL and I'll show you a landmine.
U rang? Wow, Dumm-inoes does deliver! {shakes blood-spurting Wafu over Pood-dull...}
Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching} Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.
Using four spider or crab-like legs, that end in sharp spines, would be neat. Well, it is the Darklands after all; I would imagine the magic "background count" could lead to all sorts of mutations. Maybe they'd even seek out high "radiation" areas to promote mutation in their offspring? Specialist 'riders' would use psionics to tap into the creatures mind, gaining at least a little bit of access to it's skills, feats and / or class abilities,... Maybe they take feats or a PRC to gain use of supernatural abilities of still fresh mounts? With mind flayers gone, I always figured they'd be the top psionic predator and would have developed techniques to eat a doppleganger's brain and retain the Change Shape ability (at least until the body starts to rot). And personally, I've never had any problems finding ids creepy/scary after I saw the headcrabs in Half Life.
Eieiooooooooo!!!<Dies> Uncle Potatoe? Oh well, figured it would happen sooner than later. {checks betting pool} Hmmm, says that some b*t*h named Ambrosia Slaad had him down for June 2nd. Good thing I'm not a blue slaad, but a green slaad in disguise... POOF!
Huzzah! Even the Jacks fear us! Way to put the fear of Slaad in them!
Aggh! The spelling... the spelling... Actually, I think this is one of his good days. Just keep your fingers crossed he doesn't start in with the puns. Hey Uncle Potatoe! You're, ummm, looking a little... Zerth-y today?!
At least I don't get wilted. <-- {spots Fruit Slaad} ARRRRRRRGH! (promptly fails save vs. Tasha's Earworm of Doom, begins whimpering & drooling in corner)
I think we should remind people of the importance of washing their store-bought produce. <- puts Tossed Slaad into the Slaad-Spinner and spins him till he's dry.
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