Excuse me, but there's a group of women of questionable virtue in the lobby who say they have an appointment with the VP. But there's already another group in his office. Where should I send these ones?
Excuse me, but there's a group of women of questionable virtue in the lobby who say they have an appointment with the VP. But there's already another group in his office. Where should I send these ones?
To the slaad thread. We need hosts.
Excuse me, but there's a group of women of questionable virtue in the lobby who say they have an appointment with the VP. But there's already another group in his office. Where should I send these ones?
Oui! I need some servers for the beeg deenner tonight!
Excuse me, but there's a group of women of questionable virtue in the lobby who say they have an appointment with the VP. But there's already another group in his office. Where should I send these ones?Oui! I need some servers for the beeg deenner tonight!
Okay! I'll send them your way.
Excuse me, but there's a group of women of questionable virtue in the lobby who say they have an appointment with the VP. But there's already another group in his office. Where should I send these ones?Oui! I need some servers for the beeg deenner tonight!Okay! I'll send them your way.
Bonjour, mademoiselles! It weel be your duty to make sure everyone is served at the banquet tonight.
First the uniforms. Oui, they have been 'accidentally' shrunk in the laundry, but they should steel fit!
Make sure that when you serve ze honorable guests, you get as close as you can to zem so you are not in ze way of the other servers. If this means you brush up against zem, simply smile (or giggle) and say excuse me as you reach over their shoulders!
Finally, you will each be given a belt with two bottles of liquor holstered in case any of ze guest require refreshment. If they have forgotten zeyr glass, use your imagination on how to serve them the alcohol.
Now, go get changed mes petites fleurs! I will be back in a few moments to check on you and see if you need any help with the uniforms!
'Allo? Mademoiselles? Are we ready for the beeg deener?
No thats not ok, your interview is now with me! As first Lady Supreme I declare you first put on some clothes!{awakens from conking on the head} Oh, poot! {reluctantly puts on some clothes}
Next you may be the librarian.
Yay!
But if I catch you near to my husband, i'll feed you to Dargentum!!!
{sighs} Rats! {casts Detect Kinkiness} Double rats! She's either strongly mentally shielded or pure as a storybook princess. How disappointing.
Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first...
{casts Detect Kinkiness} Double rats! She's either strongly mentally shielded or pure as a storybook princess. How disappointing.{sighs wistfully} Yeah, she is very cute. But you're acting like a trollop again.
Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first...
I hope the well is along the way. You can use an ice-cold dunking... {follows Ambrosia} At least in the kitchen I won't have to listen to that Ashe Karoakeheart fellow.
Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first...
I hope the well is along the way. You can use an ice-cold dunking... {follows Ambrosia}
{stunned, looks around disoriented} Wha-? How-? You two are only supposed to be alternate identities of ME! Hey, wait up! And how did you both get your own bodies?
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first...I hope the well is along the way. You can use an ice-cold dunking... {follows Ambrosia}{stunned, looks around disoriented} Wha-? How-? You two are only supposed to be alternate identities of ME! Hey, wait up! And how did you both get your own bodies?
I suppose the move to OTD sundered your local space-time continuum, causing your alternate identities to manifest. Very interesting...
Okay MGSTP, you are so neutered(or spayed, could never tell what gender your are). Hey! Dwarf Cook? You got any rusty steak knives I can use? *knocks out MGSTP, and begins surgery*
This will teach you to talk about my mom like that...
{wakes up} OUCH! My tummy and head hurt... was I out drinking with Puddle and DQ/Potatoe last night? {notices recent wounds and stitches down below} AHHHHHHHH! I've been neutered!!! {looks closer} and spayed too?!?! But I'm a boy dog, why would someone spay me too?!?! {crawls under chair and whimpers} Not exactly an illustrious happenstance to the Hero Discoverer of West Poodlandia.
There are easier ways to prove your gender than to sing a song about it.
I think he's got PTSD from the orbital nuking the Besotted Rums took and then getting 'ported here into the OTD.
{casts Detect Kinkiness} Double rats! She's either strongly mentally shielded or pure as a storybook princess. How disappointing.{sighs wistfully} Yeah, she is very cute. But you're acting like a trollop again.Hmmm, I'm feeling peckish. Perhaps a visit to the kitchen first...I hope the well is along the way. You can use an ice-cold dunking... {follows Ambrosia} At least in the kitchen I won't have to listen to that Ashe Karoakeheart fellow.
Ahhh, welcome ladies! Welcome!
How may I help you zis evening?
Ahhh, welcome ladies! Welcome!
How may I help you zis evening?
Be with you in just a moment, Chef. {takes Slaad-Barr and Eekster into walk-in pantry} Hello SB, glad you could join us. Guess you had to wake up eventually. Eekster and I have been talking...
...yes, and we've decided we don't want to crawl back into your head. You're only a little bit silly and not very chaotic. We really like it out here.
But- but- you can't be... this is completely insane!!!
Not insane, big brother, deliciously chaotic. Eekster? {smiles devilishly} White or dark meat?
{grins} I don't know, maybe white meat?
{Eekster and Ambrosia pounce upon Slaad-Barr ripping him to pieces. They stuff the best bits into their skulls via their ears and then eat the rest.}
{licking fingers} Hmmm, I'm not hungry any more. {burps delicately}
{picking bit of Slaad-Barr from teeth} Let's wash up and talk to the Chef anyway. I hear he's giving out tight, skimpy waitress uniforms... ooo, and there will be plenty of booze!
{both girls skip back into kitchen, humming "I Enjoy Being a Girl"}
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{picking bit of Slaad-Barr from teeth} Let's wash up and talk to the Chef anyway. I hear he's giving out tight, skimpy waitress uniforms... ooo, and there will be plenty of booze!
{both girls skip back into kitchen, humming "I Enjoy Being a Girl"}
I HOPE YOU GIRLS WERE PLANNING ON CLEANING THAT UP BEFORE THE LORD PRESIDENT COMES INTO THE KITCHEN FOR HIS SNACK.
I HOPE YOU GIRLS WERE PLANNING ON CLEANING THAT UP BEFORE THE LORD PRESIDENT COMES INTO THE KITCHEN FOR HIS SNACK.{picking bit of Slaad-Barr from teeth} Let's wash up and talk to the Chef anyway. I hear he's giving out tight, skimpy waitress uniforms... ooo, and there will be plenty of booze!
{both girls skip back into kitchen, humming "I Enjoy Being a Girl"}
Is 'K ah got dis.
Ahhh, welcome ladies! Welcome!
How may I help you zis evening?
{finishes helping sister into waitress outfit} Sorry for making you wait, Chef. {picks up hors d'oeuvres tray} Are these ready to go out?
Ahhh, welcome ladies! Welcome!
How may I help you zis evening?
Ooo Chief Chef {hands him Slaad-Barr's liver and stomach} does anyone like slaad haggis? {hands over slaad belly} I think you could make bacon with this.
{finishes helping sister into waitress outfit} Sorry for making you wait, Chef. {picks up hors d'oeuvres tray} Are these ready to go out?
{whispers to sister} Tighter with the corset. No, tighter, I can still breathe.
Ooo, I volunteer to help with the drinks!
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
<Pops in, hears lynora's comment, leaves immediately>
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
<Pops in, hears lynora's comment, stabs a waiter>
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
Bon soir, belle dame. Entretiendriez-vous une boisson? {offers Lynora an extra-large margarita}
~Looks at the slaad stuff.~
Zis is perfect! Just what I needed for my pièce de résistance!
Here are your waitress uniforms! They may be a bit tight in the bust, I doubt you'll be able to get all three buttons closed...
~Gives a bottle of vodka and tequila to each girl~
Have fun!
Now, all ze girls, get going. Remember, keep ze guests happy! If you can't do that, keep zem drunk!
~Sends out the girls laden with trays of poodle noodle soup and caesar slaads~
Bon soir, belle dame. Entretiendriez-vous une boisson? {offers Lynora an extra-large margarita}Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
Ooh, don't mind if I do. Merci beaucoup.
*chugs down the margarita*
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
<Pops in, hears lynora's comment, stabs a waiter>
Bad Dretchling! Get back on ze slaad where you belong!
~knocks out ranch with a wooden spoon and drizzles him over the caesar slaad plates~
Hey, Chef, the guests are getting restless and we're running out of appetizers.
Ummm, why is it such a mess... Never mind. I don't want to know. Plausible deniability. That's the lesson of the day.
<Pops in, hears lynora's comment, stabs a waiter>
Bad Dretchling! Get back on ze slaad where you belong!
~knocks out ranch with a wooden spoon and drizzles him over the caesar slaad plates~
Oh gosh, that's a lot of blood. Somebody should probably call a doctor or something. Oh, I guess it's too late. That waiter is definitely not getting up. I think I need another drink.
~steps over the waiter, totally ignoring the dead body on the floor~
Oui, call ze maids to clean it up... Now, please keep ze President and Madame President entertained while I create from ze remains of Slaad-Bar. It shall be my greatest dish yet!!
~steps over the waiter, totally ignoring the dead body on the floor~
Oui, call ze maids to clean it up... Now, please keep ze President and Madame President entertained while I create from ze remains of Slaad-Bar. It shall be my greatest dish yet!!
Er, right!
*grabs another drink and hurries out, stilletos leaving little bloody spots on the tile as she walks away.*
This job just gets weirder and weirder.
~whips up Taco Slaad for all the guests, sending it out as the main course along with Sahuagin Stew and Shambling Mound a l'Orange~
Sous-chef! Take care of ze dessert! And no ice-cream sandweeches this time! I'm off to bask in the glory of my genius!
~steps out into the banquet hall~
This thread is still not long enough. 100pp to the first person to get the thread page count to 100.
Ohh miss, I don't have my glass but I would love a couple shots of vodka if you don't mind.
Grading papers sucks, especially when you have been putting it off for a few weeks.
Doing papers that you have put off sucks! I am sure that it sucks for my instructors too though....just when they thought they were done grading....BLAM...here's mine...late!