Thedan

Reginald Gerbin III's page

181 posts. Organized Play character for Hawthwile.


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Dark Archive

This sounds like a job for the greatest witch WIZARD! Master of magics no other wizard can fathom! Owner of a wit so sharp and witty that mortal minds crumble before it! A professional investigator of mysteries and strange disturbances! Reginald Gerbin the Third, at your service!

Lvl 5 witch who is convinced he's a wizard. Hexes opponents through terrible puns. He's played Gallows of Madness, which seems in a similar vein of investigations and dungeon crawling.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

” This sounds like a job for one of the most powerful and talented wizards of the Society! Besides, you know how they say laughter is the best medicine...”

3d6 ⇒ (6, 5, 6) = 17

Please excuse me while I pick my jaw off the floor. Also, now I have three insufferably smug characters because what should have been a humbling lesson has instead only reinforced his delusions of grandeur.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”This sounds like the perfect job for the MOST POWERFUL WIZAR-“ Kije, Rudzik, and Arnaut all quickly clap their hands over the witch’s mouth before he can get himself in over his head.

Level 5 and almost as little wisdom.

Dark Archive

This would be a replay for me, but it’s well worth it for one of my favorite GMs on the boards!

Player name: Hawthwile
Character name: Reginald Gerbin III
PFS number: 264524-9
Faction: Dark Archives
Progression speed: Regular
Day job roll: None

I could also offer Luli (hi again!) if we need a divine support caster who’s good at talking with people (both characters are lvl 5). Reginald, however, is an excellent witch WIZARD! of the highest caliber, able to cast spells using only his little finger that no other wizard can perform, try as hard as they might! But why stoop to magic when most mortal minds cannot even handle the vastness of his wit! They groan and moan at his jokes - not because they are terrible puns, oh no - but because their tiny minds cannot fathom the pure brilliancy of them!

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

When you have time, GM, could you mark this campaign as inactive?

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Until people start throwing money at Reginald to stop telling terrible puns, he’s unlikely to ever have a Day Job. :-D

No faction mission either - we did encounter a knowledgeable spellcaster, but he’s unlikely to join the Dark Archives after being bitten and poisoned by spiders. But I can check a box for adventuring in a semi plane!

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Oh, perhaps he’s not such a vermin after all.” Disappointed, Reginald sends the spiders scuttling over the edge of the cliff and into the darkness. ”I don’t suppose there’s more of you lot here?”

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Now look at yourself - you're practically crawling with vermin just like yourself!" Reginald's jolly purple form reappears as he bursts out laughing at his own wit, tears streaking down his face as the spiders swarm over the archer.

Using Misfortune hex (Will 18 negates) to force Blue to roll all d20's twice and take the lower result, then Cackle to extend duration. I'm pretty sure the hex would break invisibility. Spider swarm stays put and nibbles.

Swarm damage: 1d6 ⇒ 1

And again, Blue will need to make two Fortitude DC 11 saving throws against the spider swarm's poison and distraction. Hopefully with Misfortune.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Huzzah!” Reginald’s voice echoes through the stone cavern with no apparent source. ”Now crawl, my pretties - crawl, crawl, ahahaha!” As if of one mind, the swarm of spiders marches towards the remaining archer. Behind them, every inch of the spellcaster’s exposed skin is covered in tiny red bites.

Swarm damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5

Two Fortitude saves again (DC 11 for both). Reginald moves the swarm as a move action, and moves himself as a move action.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

GM, Reginald should still be invisible at this point. Is Red ignoring the miss chance for attacking an invisible opponent?

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Long line marks last round's movement - faded token marks that location.

Reginald's giggling is muffled now, as if his mouth is full of marbles. Suddenly his laughter erupts forth again - as does a swarm of tiny spiders!

Swarm damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5 (Both Red and Blue take this damage automatically)

Move 20 ft and cast vomit swarm (yellow box). Spider swarm statistics can be found here - important things are that both Red and Blue need to make two Fortitude saves (DC 11) against poison and distraction. The swarm will not move unless Reginald directs it with a standard action.

Also, Reginald should still be invisible as per the spell description regarding summoning creatures.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

GM, Reginald is still invisible. Is the archer ignoring that?

Also, realized my post last round didn’t make it through. Just a double move, so no worries on my end. I’ll draw some lovely arrows when I’m back on my laptop.

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (19) + 13 = 32 What Spell did Red just cast on himself?

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Whoops, forgot to move my token last round! Short blue line is last round's movement, long blue line is this round.

Reginald's familiar wheezing laugh echoes through the cavern as he continues invisibly over the bridges. Whoever built this place must have been a genius - there's no other reason to not have a direct route in and out other than to avoid some unspeakable horror along that path. Perhaps a pit fiend lurking in the pit? That sounds about right. I'm sure this is a top-quality pit for the discerning fiend. Thank goodness the architect realized it and left us a nice safe alternative!

Double move.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (18) + 13 = 31

Reginald's actions will depend on whether or not Red is still casting his spell after the two attacks.

If the spellcaster stops casting his spell:
Reginald chortles as he watches the spell dissipate. "Better luck next time!" he calls cheekily before drawing the forces of the dead that permeate the air to fortify his damaged body and striding down the bridge, invisible nose held high in the air.

Temporary hitpoints: 1d10 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Casting false life and moving.

If the spellcaster continues casting his spell:
Reginald wrinkles his invisible nose in distaste. "Oh, stop that," he says crossly. Pulling out a pinch of what is probably sparkling dust, he throws it in frustration at the people standing on the far platform before stomping away across the bridge.

Casting glitterdust (Will 18 to negate blindness) and moving. Spell should be able to hit both opponents easily.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Reflex vs DC 17: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

"Ouch! Oh, is my hair on fire?" The smell of smoke follows Reginald's invisible form as he flicks out his trusty wand and taps himself. Feeling slightly better, he continues after Perrine. Why won't she look at me? he wonders cluelessly. Did she not like my jokes? But they're hilarious!

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Swift action to release wand from spring-loaded wrist sheath, standard to cast, move 30 ft. Still invisible.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Whoops! Oh excuse m- pardon me, coming through!" Reginald almost runs into Perrine as he squeezes invisibly between Ivan and Kolris.

Double move, still invisible.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”...I’m telling you, think of the possibilities!” Reginald is in the midst of a passionate argument with Perrine and doesn’t seem willing to let it cease just because the gnome has moved on.

Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (9) + 13 = 22

”Oh look, an imp!” he calls out happily. ”And that one he’s sitting on must be his servant! Though what a devil’s doing down here in the midst of a demon shrine is anyone’s guess.” Waving his arms dramatically, the man vanishes from sight with a chuckle and a slight smell of cooked cabbage.

Casting invisibility.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Aww, who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" Reginald coos at the wolf as if it were a lap puppy. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't them, but maybe it's you?" He waves a hand at the fallen foes on the floor.

5 ft step, Misfortune Hex (Reroll all d20's and take lower result for 1 round, Will 18 negates) on Green, Cackle to extend duration by 1 round.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"My goodness, these are Aspis agents? You're not pulling my leg, are you? Because that would be hiss-terical!" Reginald's words can barely be heard between bouts of wheezing laughter as he steps behind Ivan.

Evil Eye (-2 AC for 9 rounds, Will 18 to reduce to 1 round) on Yellow, Cackle to extend duration of both Evil Eye hexes by 1 round.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”...which only further goes to show that such an observational extradimensional space would be, at best, an extremely difficult endeavor to maintain - oh, wait, maybe these fine gentlemen could explain the process in more detail!” Now distracted, Reginald squints suspiciously at the swordsmen. ”You don’t think these sneaky folks could be Aspis agents, do you? They’re always slithering into places they aren’t wanted.” He guffaws at his own wit, pointing at the man in red as an example.

Evil Eye (-2 AC for 9 rounds, Will 18 to reduce to 1 round) on Red, Cackle to extend duration by 1 round.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”I knew it!” Reginald crows. ”An interdimensional observational space! And what a lovely exit mechanism - no need for people to keep crowding inside trying to end the effect. What a brilliant solution!” He joys down more notes on the purpose and structure of the “observational rift”, as well as a quick sketch of Teenoch’s face.

Knowledge (planes) (?) to identify Teenoch: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (15) + 13 = 28

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”As the tapestry said, ‘Above me the Mother, below me...’ something something something.” Reginald frantically tries to find the page with the transcription before throwing up his hands. ”So Lamashtu on top - that’s that one there - and Areahkagal in the middle, and that other one on the bottom.”

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"What an absolutely fascinating discovery!" Reginald's cheerful grin is back as he starts jotting down notes on the strange device. "It's obviously magical - I would assume some type of planar transportation, but what if it were actually a divination chamber where the user just exists, deprived of all their senses while still observing everything? Though the question comes of how one would exit such a chamber. Would another person be able to reach in and pull them out, or would the helper themselves become stuck in the chamber too, and thus require another helper who would also get stuck... He clearly has a favorite theory, and it's not the sensible one.

Spellcraft or Knowledge (arcana), Take 10: 10 + 13 = 23

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Knowledge (arcana): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (4) + 13 = 17

”Oh fine - brainless block of stone can’t appreciate a good joke.” Reginald huffs indignantly as he conjures wizardly armor to protect himself, personally offended at this construct’s mindlessness.

Casting mage armor.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Do you think it didn’t hear me? That was brilliant!” Reginald clears his throat and repeats, ”I SAID, OH THE EYE-RONY!”

Using Accursed Hex to use Misfortune again (Will 18), then cackle.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Why so it is! Do you think it’s upset because it doesn’t have eyes to see us? And it can’t show us how mad it is because it doesn’t have a face? Oh the eye-rony!” He can’t contain his mirth any longer, the laughter rolling like waves in a swimming pool after a particularly vigorous bellyflop.

Using Misfortune hex (Will 18 or roll twice for all d20’s and take worse result), then Cackle to extend duration by 1 round.

Dark Archive

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Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (2) + 9 = 11
Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (12) + 13 = 25

"Oh look, this tapestry must be depicting the relationship between Areshkagal, her rival, and Lamashtu who bore them both!" Reginald quickly starts writing over his previous notes with a (terrible) sketch of the figures. "Got to get those runes right..." he mutters under his breath before turning back to the party. "Here, I've translated the writing around the edges. Terribly boring stuff - no artistic creativity here, just the same thing over and over. But we'd best not say it aloud - who knows what terrible things it could trigger?"

Reginald's notes wrote:

Cramped in a corner of the page:

...The matriarch with stolen seeds,
Monsterous sisters blasphemy breeds,
Born of the same womb, yet diff'rent stud,
Above me is the Mother, below me impure blood...

There is also a series of sketches depicting a by-now familiar faceless woman wearing a pharaonic headdress, to which Reginald has apparently been experimenting with adding different facial features and expressions.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Reginald has not picked one up nor is wearing one.

”Suffering from delusions... yes, yes, clear symptoms indeed...” Reginald mutters as he scribbles notes furiously.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Reginald has a sheet of parchment on a writing tablet, Casovir perched precariously on his shoulder with a small pot of ink held in his beak. "Fascinating, absolutely fascinating behavior! Now watch carefully Casovir - if we're lucky, we'll notice some physical symptoms to coincide with their stated mental effects. Do you think it could be Abyssal Fever? It's said to make those who suffer from it both incredibly cold and hot at the same time while sapping their strength. Dreadful stuff. Do you remember when I had it as a child? I was incredibly lucky to not have progressed to the third stage of the disease and thus avoided growing any horns in uncomfortable places." He peers eagerly at his companions, squinting and jotting down a note occasionally.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Knowledge (arcana): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (17) + 13 = 30

”You’re quite right, Bartolomey - and from what remains, they were explosive runes. Do you think any are still active?” Reginald scans the area for traces of magic before anyone can reply.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Well, how often do you get to wear something like this?" Reginald chortles. "Or perhaps it's a riddle? Areshkagal is a demon lord of riddles after all. Do you think she would consider a good pun as a riddle?"

GM, for simplicity's sake we can assume Casovir is riding on Reginald's hat until combat breaks out, at which point he'll fly to a safe location (such as outside the room). I've left his token outside the map since it shouldn't see much use.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Heads up - I will be at a convention Friday through Sunday. As the sun doesn’t set up here in the summer, neither do the games stop. I will post when possible, but at a slower rate than usual. Please don’t hesitate to bot me after 24 hours if I haven’t posted.

Dark Archive

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Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Well, maybe next time Reginald will pick an opponent to debilitate that folks can leave for last.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

GM, if that was vs Flat Footed AC I think it might have hit...

"Oh look, there they are!" Reginald exclaims cheerfully as an arrow lodges itself in Bartolomey's armor. "And look at that, Bartolomey - they've even given you an arrow! How nice of them!"

He glances up at the man in green. "You there - is this all yours? Why, it's just deserts if I'm not mistaken!" He bursts up laughing at his own joke, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks.

Using Misfortune hex (Will 18 to negate) on Green, then Cackle to extend duration.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

I forgot I have a boon for identifying demons!

Knowledge (planes), Boon: 1d20 + 13 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 13 + 2 = 23
Knowledge (planes), Boon: 1d20 + 13 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 13 + 2 = 28

”Oh yes, it’s Arushkagal again. Do you think it’s difficult to make a head without a face? Anyway, as Ivan says, each statue is standing on a scorpion. While this might simply reflect the builder’s dislike of arachnids and insects, it’s quite possible that this is a representation of a struggle on a more cosmic scale!” Reginald beams with delight at the chance to lecture.

An AP I played featured this deity prominently, so I have my suspicions about the scorpions...

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Oh, you're just in time!" Reginald replies happily. "We're removing some Aspis agents from a stronghold containing a shrine to Areshkagal. You know, I always though that her holy symbols suffered from the most peculiarly specific erosion because none of them have faces - just the bloody pharaonic headdress. Apparently they're made that way though because Areshkagal herself is faceless. Or do you think she lost her own face due to some peculiarly specific erosion? In any case, she likes portals and riddles. Some say she's even greedy for them." He guffaws at his own wit.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Now just a minute Casovir - there’s no reason to start complaining this early in the morning,” the man chortles. ”Why, if you keep that up, it’ll put you in a fowl mood for the rest of the day!” He bursts out laughing at his own joke, handing a heap of pages clearly not in order to the scribe and joining the Master of Swords.

If we are trained in both Knowledges, can we roll both?
Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (1) + 13 = 14
Knowledge (religion): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (11) + 12 = 23

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”Whoops!”

A sudden yelp is followed by a fluttering of pages as a man in patchwork purple velvet robes stands back up and offers his hand to one of the scribes. ”Oh, my goodness! I didn’t see you there! Here, let me help you gather these pages...”

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Hello there everyone! From the characters listed on the spreadsheet, it looks like this party could use an arcane caster. Might I offer my services as the finest witch WIZARD!!! in the land?

(This is Hawthwile BTW)

Dark Archive

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Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Wonderful news, GM!

Reginald has no day job, but he'll take both chronicles for full credit and xp.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Reflex vs DC 10: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Acrobatics vs DC 10: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18
Constitution vs DC 12: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
Perception vs DC 14: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
Knowledge (nature) vs DC 10, Aid Penalty: 1d20 + 10 - 2 ⇒ (2) + 10 - 2 = 10

Reginald helps shoo the rats away from the kitchen with a toss of some stinky cheese. As the rats swerve to avoid it, he pulls his nearest companion through the gap with him.

Aid goes to the first person who claims it!

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30

Ninja'd - keeping the below just in case we're still in initiative. What kinds of special abilities does this thing have?

Just in case:
Reginald steps behind Marrowtusk. "Wormgnash?" he jokes. "More like Worm-hash, am I right?" He chuckles, his worry momentarily set aside for a good joke.

5 ft step, Evil Eye against Wormgnash (-2 saving throws), Cackle to extend.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

GM, the Red dretch should still be taking a -2 penalty to attack rolls - which would make that bite attack miss Marrowtusk. Wormgnash should also still be taking a -2 to his AC (can't find a Will save to know if it was successful or only good for 1 round).

Speaking of Marrowtusk, I unfortunately don't think he could make his attack against Wormgnash from his current position. But that should be enough damage to remove the red dretch! Also, rage should give you 6 extra hp (+2 for each HD).

And Aaftaab, you weren't affected by the spell (thank goodness it's only CL 3). Woo!

Spellcraft vs DC 23: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (1) + 10 = 11
Will vs DC 16: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11

"Oooof!" Reginald exclaims as Wormgnash's magic steals the breath from his lungs. His chuckles coming slower now, he flicks out his wand from its wrist sheath and taps himself lightly with it. "Marrowtusk! Come get this one!" he calls.

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Cackle to extend duration on all active hexes (Green, Red (if still alive), and Wormgnash), swift action to get wand from spring-loaded wrist sheath, standard action to use wand.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

And Cackle extends the Evil Eye on Red for another round, so it's still active this round. Woo!

Also, can we identify this guy? Is he human, or is he dancer?

Reginald turns his attention to Wormgnash. "You know, this is a rather incomplete decoration job you've done here," he quips. "It looks like you were going for diabolic, but it's really just kinda parabolic, eh?" He erupts again with laughter at his own joke.

Evil Eye Wormgnash (-2 AC), Cackle to extend all Evil Eye hexes.

Aaftaab, the Blue dretch has lower AC if you want to concentrate your attacks.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Aaftaab! Maybe you want to step out of such a dretch-ed place!" Reginald calls, tears leaking down his cheeks as he laughs.

Evil Eye Red (-2 to attack rolls), Cackle to extend duration.

Dark Archive

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Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

”You wouldn’t happen to have any cold-iron bolts, would you Popole?” Reginald asks. ”I hear it does absolutely dretch-ful things to their skin.” Again, his own wit is too much for him to bear in silence and he laughs uproariously.

”But if not, you could always try disrupting whatever nonsense that man in the back is up to,” he suggests through wheezes.

Evil Eye to Green (-2 to attack rolls), then Cackle to extend all Evil Eyes (should be -2 AC on Blue already since fey-creature was just a figment of Reginald’s imagination).

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Whoops, looks like Popole’s crit didn’t get resolved!

Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (14) + 10 = 24

Reginald moves in behind Popole. ”Oh look - another one of those multi-footed fey,” he comments cheerfully. ”And just look at all these demons! Why, it’s positively dretch-ful!”

Evil Eye (-2 AC) to fey-creature, and what special abilities or resistances might Reginald remember about dretch?

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

"Whoops! There mite be something behind you, Aaftaab!" Reginald wheezes through gales of laughter.

Evil Eye on Blue (-2 to attack rolls), Cackle to extend duration of all active Evil Eyes.

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Goodness, I must be out of it today. I would have sworn that Marrowtusk opened the door and Aaftaab was between him and Reginald, or Reginald would have just taken the 5 ft step, hexed, and cackled. My bad!

Dark Archive

Male CG Human Witch 5 | HP 27/27 | AC 13 T 12 FF 11 | CMB +0, CMD 12 | F: +3, R: +4, W: +4 | Init: +8 | Perc: +10, SM: +1 | Speed 30ft | Spells: 1st 5/5 2nd 4/4 3rd 2/2 | Active conditions: None

Did Red make its Will save? And how did two mites attack Marrowtusk when only one was within 5 ft? Do the mites have spears? Lucerne hammers? Abnormally long arms? (Saw all three at a table tonight.)

Reginald chortles. "Better watch out, or the frog-man will s-mite you!" he says, then bursts up laughing at his own wit.

Evil Eye Yellow (-2 attack rolls, Will 15 to reduce to 1 round), Cackle to extend duration (including previous Evil Eye on Red if still active).

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