Mr. Grinch's page

What’s your take on paradoxes then?

Are those petrol, diesel, or electric sausages?

Who cares!? They are just a bunch of old bangers!

Yes, selling sausages and lemons at extortionate prices to gullible chumps!

No Cow-ntry for Old Milk.

And that ain’t no bull!

*Wakes up from the noise of the drumming.*

All this noise, noise, noise! It's just too much for me right now!

*Tries to block it out by covering ears with a pillow.*

I'm still not fully recovered yet, I need more rest!

*Is slowly, very slowly, regaining consciousness.*

Ugh... what.. hurts... need... rest...

I'm torn between Maxine and Schism 2, if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

*Comes out from under the bed.*

Well, I think that I should be safe now. How about we...

HEEYAH!!

*Gets karate chopped on the back of the head, falls to the floor unconscious.*

Santa Claus: I said that I would get you next year!

*Quickly comes out from under the bed, smothers a Christmas cake into the face of Grand Magus.*

*Has a brief look around, trying to catch sight of the fat man, retreats back under the bed.*

Where are you Mr. Grinch?

It is almost Christmas, the Ramshackle Sleigh is ready, but no Mr. Grinch.
No Max either, for that matter.

*Pokes head out from under the bed.*

Shhh! Quiet, you fool! I've been hiding from fat boy, he said he'd get me this year!

And Max is dead, has been for 10 years, he died of old age. That's when I hired you.

*Hides under the bed again.*

Rather than having my mouth washed out with Pulg, I was eating that very burrito. 'Burritos don't look like Pulg!', you might say, but this was a vintage, cellar-aged, pork 'n' prawn burrito.

I thought they stopped making those about 8000 years ago due to the fact that it causes diabetic hysteria.

*Notices the letter on the workbench.*

Schism, if you needed help, you should have just asked.

*Gives Schism the letter, and provides directions to Castle Heydrich.*

Don't worry about knowing who Vampire Schism is, she'll find you, now go.

Years spent raiding Schism's wardrobes: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 0 ⇒ (392, 862, 675, 58, 49, 925, 922, 61, 36, 610, 425, 881, 918, 547, 571, 634, 176, 751, 849, 590, 446, 911, 490, 280, 445, 168, 181, 641, 180, 112, 187, 477, 604, 642, 274, 89, 721, 912, 491, 935, 435, 868, 757, 59, 782, 971, 619, 870, 212, 38, 336, 860, 181, 790, 675, 84, 37, 4, 117, 67, 268, 115, 735, 502, 18, 443, 329, 546, 697, 618, 205, 697, 349, 336, 106, 380, 830, 839, 517, 303, 686, 741, 505, 998, 582, 968, 295, 522, 755, 5, 497, 855, 158, 445, 672, 277, 89, 413, 509, 465) + (228, 48, 804, 184, 176, 859, 813, 48, 3, 429, 69, 962, 834, 872, 785, 151, 525, 40, 442, 838, 19, 55, 852, 160, 950, 827, 296, 600, 546, 429, 114, 74, 487, 647, 29, 215, 823, 425, 825, 90, 801, 799, 455, 306, 874, 651, 587, 165, 885, 210, 448, 533, 450, 998, 154, 849, 394, 64, 965, 763, 355, 423, 115, 257, 414, 457, 282, 971, 774, 749, 307, 144, 483, 435, 783, 452, 244, 329, 404, 946, 788, 843, 637, 450, 403, 109, 256, 648, 397, 608, 225, 425, 903, 983, 412, 570, 469, 644, 40, 14) + (681, 508, 590, 644, 55, 556, 673, 787, 499, 367, 903, 227, 20, 429, 678, 610, 354, 625, 362, 543, 626, 879, 658, 734, 962, 32, 522, 321, 408, 115, 435, 975, 53, 962, 919, 971, 63, 670, 233, 4, 252, 264, 905, 188, 978, 950, 613, 312, 475, 190, 427, 523, 870, 273, 146, 775, 57, 855, 353, 961, 314, 211, 119, 56, 877, 634, 850, 873, 71, 838, 419, 170, 906, 97, 62, 841, 721, 776, 607, 392, 931, 711, 424, 96, 4, 91, 727, 671, 191, 367, 892, 672, 896, 494, 769, 909, 341, 793, 186, 547) + (133, 486, 899, 977, 649, 766, 177, 502, 191, 25, 424, 103, 309, 673, 476, 26, 482, 559, 924, 779, 280, 29, 856, 312, 686, 905, 515, 98, 842, 523, 347, 419, 268, 164, 429, 862, 429, 595, 710, 967, 846, 508, 861, 328, 181, 23, 788, 93, 682, 611, 380, 902, 352, 597, 376, 734, 728, 185, 258, 868, 383, 411, 274, 221, 663, 435, 901, 412, 539, 235, 682, 664, 635, 670, 560, 536, 336, 814, 571, 349, 641, 106, 669, 988, 508, 682, 409, 999, 241, 969, 779, 151, 968, 902, 819, 895, 643, 7, 552, 704) + (886, 923, 521, 29, 146, 233, 838, 826, 785, 954, 62, 470, 251, 272, 466, 218, 775, 578, 942, 781, 590, 549, 152, 877, 626, 656, 673, 836, 708, 412, 432, 109, 466, 502, 198, 689, 454, 187, 652, 139, 724, 767, 408, 12, 4, 425, 959, 979, 189, 406, 348, 21, 819, 785, 78, 532, 591, 588, 728, 680, 285, 158, 98, 791, 395, 745, 957, 634, 845, 774, 700, 781, 229, 184, 126, 818, 559, 721, 143, 108, 883, 541, 462, 243, 548, 921, 330, 120, 605, 623, 85, 430, 315, 898, 859, 379, 510, 680, 739, 482) + 0 = 252418

Seriously, you're only now taking a break? I gave you leave months ago!

Mr. Grinch wrote:

*Baleful glaring at Schism.*

You're not teasing me, are you?

No Sir!

Good girl!

*Pats Schism on the head.*

Don't forget the adventure journals of Sir Wallace, now will you?

Or the latest issue of "Fashion Aeon" magazine for Vampire Schism.

And keep the coffin as far away from the count's territory as possible.

The dark energy of the area will strengthen the horrors within!

*Baleful glaring at Schism.*

You're not teasing me, are you?

Why would you worry about something like that? They're not, by the way.

And, would you like to know something else? I think that you are

There is only one, Mr. Grinch.

Thanks, kiddo, much appreciated.

You were talking about me, right?

In any case, ignore Dedrick, he was responding to my previous comment.

So...

You're not the ruthless and daring hairy thing with the ambition to become the undisputed Emperor of the World?

Must have been someone else then, pity, I was sure that Pulg was an evil mastermind.

I didn't know that your first name was Michael, The when!

We know your middle name's Florence, because you told us your mum wanted to name you after her grandmother.

And what kind of candy are you wanting to buy, and how do you intend to eat it?

Only asking simply because you don't have a mouth.

She doesn't like things wrapped, excluding presents, it causes her to stress out.

Well, I did offer you 3 more bits and a few bobs.

But, you said that they didn't match your eyes and were very unsightly.

It's not a real duck, just a wooden carving of one!

*At this, the duck breaks free from Mr Grinch's grasp and flies away.*

Oh, guess it was real after all.

You're welcome, and I was right, nothing bad happened.

All that happened was Dr. Wily got himself killed and the infinite time ways are restored.

Which, again, doesn't effect us. As it has already happened in the past.

I wonder if you could see if your vampire self has responded to her father's letter.

*Goes up to Schism, holding a duck and a cover.*

Relax, it's taking place in the past, nothing bad is going to happen.

Pity we can't be there Pulg, but steam makes our hair all frizzy.

*Looks back at the postcard, somewhat confused, to verify Schism Hag.*

*Meanwhile, while Sir Limey De Longears ruthlessly slays Champion Bugler Longears.*

Ah yes, I see them now! Wenda is indeed behind a female troll (who has pink pigtails).

The "yellow tabby" that Woof is next to, is actually a spike-covered lizard.

While the "Man in the Yellow Hat", next to Wizard Whitebeard, is a large, sentient mushroom.

And the "Beagle Boys" next to Odlaw, are just a bunch of mushroom thieving trolls.

Still, very good eye. Blame Schism for the bad perception.

Ah, hello there, Schism has told me all about you (and none of it good, I'm afraid).

But, regardless of what she thinks, I could use your help.

*Presents the most recent postcard to Schism Hag.*

I've managed to find Wally and the three travellers from the previous scenes. However, I can't find Wenda, Woof, Wizard Whitebeard and Odlaw. Do you think that you might be able to find them? I did ask Schism for help, but she's useless!

Oh, and I've already found the mystery traveller, so don't worry about that.

Well, alright, just make sure to find it. Whoever sent it must really care about you.

*Goes back to looking at the postcard.*

KABOOM!!!

*Briefly looks up from hearing the noise, then just shrugs it off and continues looking at the postcard.*

Opens the parcel the wrong way.

Oh! A pipe bomb.

Looks everywhere
But there is no card.
I don't know who to send a thankyou note to.

Remember now?

*Studies the picture on the third postcard.*

Alright, Wenda is partially obscured by Mother Goose (who is chatting with Bo Peep).

Woof is among a group of leopards (only his head is visible).

Wizard Whitebeard is at the back of the library, in front of a small group of frightened people, defiantly staring down a large fire demon. With his staff raised in his left hand and is clearly telling the demon "YOU, SHALL NOT, PASS!".

And Odlaw is among a group of people running away from some sentient (and very snappy) books.

*Turns away from looking at the postcard for a minute.*

You find out who sent you that pipe bomb yet, Schism?

That explains the challenge of finding people "Cher-ing" at the "Heydrich House Party."

*Looks at postcards in more intense detail.*

OK, I've found everyone, and I'll write down where they are:

Wenda: in the first postcard "Heydrich House Party", she's hidden behind the trio of dragonmaids being bothered by a werewolf. And in the second postcard "Out in Town", she is among a crowd of people crossing the road (plus a zebra).

Woof: in the first postcard, he is hidden behind a bongo drum of Pulg's Fairy Bongo Band (his tail is poking out from behind the drum). And in the second postcard, he is in pet shop (amid other dogs, with all but his tail being shown).

Wizard Whitebeard: in the first postcard, he is drinking with some witches (being partially obscured by a couple of skeletons). And in the second postcard, he is behind the fountain (which is spraying water at some passers-by).

Odlaw: in the first postcard, he is among a group of zombie waiters. And in the second postcard, he is beside a flower stall (where he is being attacked by a plant, along with a nearby bystander, after picking a rose).

Also, I've found the mystery traveller that appears in every scene.

Right you are, Schism, twas a lot of good fun!

*Sees that the letterbox is full of letters and a couple of parcels.*

Looks like we've got some catching up to do!

*Empties the letterbox, most of it is anonymous death threats (so, nothing new).*

Here you go, Schism, this one is for you.

*Passes Schism one of the parcels, opens the other.*

Aha! The new Golden Serpent Snow Globe that I ordered, excellent!

*Notices a couple of postcards.*

What have we here?

*Takes a closer look at the postcards (one is labelled "Heydrich House Party" and the other is "Out in Town").*

They're from Wally (off on another fantastic journey I see!)

*Gives the postcards to Schism to look at.*

What do you think, Schism, think you can find everyone in these pictures?

Beatings I receive from Schism: 80d300 + 90d400 + 100d500 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d600 ⇒ (188, 77, 75, 92, 288, 261, 232, 263, 212, 25, 138, 200, 212, 220, 74, 177, 163, 202, 290, 260, 62, 187, 121, 217, 186, 299, 13, 236, 76, 222, 121, 119, 231, 226, 77, 83, 28, 211, 10, 92, 137, 91, 19, 27, 152, 295, 237, 142, 51, 242, 160, 20, 18, 129, 251, 50, 13, 95, 71, 198, 28, 84, 117, 258, 17, 158, 33, 93, 48, 159, 134, 291, 187, 234, 286, 106, 161, 152, 276, 234) + (303, 368, 367, 137, 269, 162, 210, 93, 267, 354, 298, 268, 120, 58, 142, 222, 145, 217, 212, 69, 96, 303, 361, 242, 178, 280, 173, 181, 71, 162, 202, 287, 50, 13, 22, 245, 127, 127, 270, 131, 244, 241, 354, 283, 32, 25, 320, 89, 273, 228, 296, 196, 162, 112, 174, 259, 337, 243, 302, 121, 94, 156, 10, 350, 223, 276, 15, 204, 400, 144, 134, 307, 8, 246, 214, 25, 327, 330, 54, 338, 188, 68, 160, 231, 259, 175, 225, 246, 43, 352) + (117, 59, 111, 282, 249, 215, 188, 475, 222, 184, 359, 187, 76, 96, 10, 367, 375, 183, 282, 330, 483, 71, 101, 120, 171, 212, 381, 378, 265, 154, 332, 3, 221, 48, 466, 207, 375, 242, 378, 423, 304, 342, 389, 390, 213, 355, 154, 36, 146, 314, 231, 372, 406, 446, 449, 67, 60, 391, 234, 44, 11, 476, 3, 90, 76, 146, 146, 315, 500, 177, 486, 175, 29, 259, 242, 344, 142, 7, 433, 142, 383, 324, 422, 90, 387, 487, 177, 277, 324, 215, 110, 183, 260, 32, 106, 285, 307, 294, 198, 452) + (298, 975, 706, 327, 434, 374, 978, 763, 396, 641, 685, 675, 329, 791, 44, 615, 23, 389, 963, 127, 427, 7, 898, 923, 821, 608, 167, 284, 349, 210, 215, 649, 243, 866, 763, 71, 852, 603, 111, 545, 89, 349, 686, 119, 913, 882, 201, 558, 558, 93, 558, 148, 45, 679, 949, 750, 183, 63, 70, 832, 957, 365, 918, 488, 56, 508, 81, 215, 542, 994, 185, 677, 353, 381, 220, 344, 489, 467, 276, 193, 922, 710, 175, 883, 560, 850, 663, 808, 742, 268, 716, 26, 423, 834, 125, 227, 283, 209, 686, 730) + (347, 30, 940, 563, 952, 781, 115, 745, 998, 671, 744, 362, 622, 932, 603, 375, 176, 589, 963, 958, 919, 148, 670, 455, 783, 970, 720, 495, 658, 709, 848, 372, 623, 68, 867, 534, 820, 673, 128, 398, 466, 842, 906, 286, 511, 723, 396, 21, 658, 411, 318, 565, 46, 153, 398, 242, 489, 772, 450, 529, 191, 228, 26, 762, 7, 104, 442, 116, 951, 709, 205, 500, 611, 935, 205, 393, 641, 863, 231, 103, 928, 450, 524, 327, 639, 505, 65, 287, 458, 770, 56, 27, 374, 971, 599, 415, 654, 158, 975, 703) + (549, 534, 411, 421, 154, 138, 74, 288, 315, 492, 31, 158, 470, 64, 258, 463, 527, 366, 274, 363, 529, 590, 72, 3, 24, 84, 444, 363, 538, 290, 443, 126, 198, 324, 10, 22, 524, 388, 444, 94, 452, 218, 407, 270, 347, 320, 397, 75, 584, 200, 103, 528, 437, 538, 51, 349, 89, 5, 118, 154, 114, 201, 12, 232, 392, 15, 436, 252, 228, 334, 353, 513, 535, 115, 491, 385, 479, 164, 509, 415, 444, 161, 383, 436, 281, 79, 459, 93, 502, 250, 100, 317, 179, 167, 115, 52, 398, 547, 540, 156) = 183437. So worth it!

Plays bugle right next to Schism's ear: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (776, 757, 119, 180, 802, 66, 166, 68, 506, 149, 2, 1000, 268, 471, 819, 301, 611, 441, 154, 500, 411, 968, 347, 336, 674, 285, 340, 202, 165, 872, 612, 435, 592, 912, 15, 253, 845, 50, 70, 766, 406, 284, 387, 810, 709, 429, 722, 741, 496, 83, 427, 410, 306, 352, 987, 810, 364, 265, 258, 396, 395, 484, 120, 437, 875, 78, 545, 149, 842, 247, 760, 326, 831, 123, 383, 385, 176, 181, 908, 823, 43, 273, 687, 808, 900, 207, 191, 756, 350, 351, 213, 620, 573, 117, 217, 396, 415, 891, 376, 951) + (467, 589, 375, 279, 985, 549, 169, 527, 401, 75, 932, 431, 432, 849, 138, 492, 213, 185, 540, 25, 842, 195, 344, 102, 150, 750, 787, 619, 687, 842, 273, 65, 541, 128, 617, 509, 65, 719, 70, 610, 300, 164, 840, 722, 652, 237, 866, 72, 1, 314, 108, 413, 686, 512, 536, 510, 219, 675, 9, 270, 408, 328, 976, 117, 379, 164, 897, 437, 66, 269, 490, 852, 277, 979, 955, 555, 346, 993, 312, 418, 116, 470, 140, 429, 709, 763, 744, 999, 976, 897, 521, 858, 372, 768, 160, 401, 859, 806, 282, 482) + (377, 634, 512, 882, 119, 116, 921, 966, 454, 379, 403, 948, 377, 530, 256, 437, 732, 280, 69, 271, 377, 842, 974, 842, 521, 511, 341, 599, 255, 585, 890, 872, 176, 83, 772, 456, 759, 947, 590, 432, 269, 517, 517, 667, 485, 505, 133, 295, 446, 482, 786, 233, 233, 340, 228, 259, 626, 49, 860, 220, 388, 448, 436, 508, 621, 339, 107, 458, 217, 492, 158, 5, 42, 651, 698, 811, 908, 894, 253, 489, 839, 598, 52, 968, 742, 498, 959, 928, 332, 314, 753, 332, 950, 401, 516, 281, 299, 384, 489, 764) = 142954

Christmas presents delivered: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (538, 780, 69, 573, 941, 250, 940, 412, 269, 225, 873, 884, 88, 476, 855, 604, 861, 116, 566, 98, 35, 192, 333, 157, 785, 662, 607, 760, 189, 539, 945, 651, 360, 221, 467, 852, 310, 218, 365, 694, 315, 500, 969, 419, 313, 259, 414, 843, 359, 199, 829, 969, 995, 737, 628, 78, 631, 629, 319, 381, 361, 215, 639, 666, 717, 694, 571, 640, 614, 545, 466, 317, 953, 237, 579, 516, 666, 392, 68, 439, 104, 917, 734, 438, 299, 228, 618, 800, 766, 197, 205, 725, 119, 393, 862, 791, 564, 230, 16, 451) + (343, 757, 170, 319, 562, 745, 196, 241, 94, 814, 181, 25, 221, 643, 175, 492, 360, 301, 308, 359, 618, 450, 666, 412, 163, 503, 393, 740, 328, 214, 894, 385, 440, 456, 424, 414, 562, 699, 183, 294, 210, 672, 188, 974, 466, 19, 916, 232, 789, 568, 686, 541, 647, 735, 452, 22, 656, 899, 134, 62, 23, 556, 921, 848, 283, 399, 375, 984, 733, 127, 216, 153, 449, 891, 103, 707, 771, 324, 751, 270, 975, 128, 660, 831, 241, 728, 462, 214, 298, 810, 743, 98, 324, 244, 582, 977, 789, 614, 412, 352) + (791, 370, 508, 684, 160, 195, 112, 522, 853, 503, 94, 937, 985, 987, 321, 10, 75, 514, 196, 937, 758, 296, 953, 483, 755, 777, 832, 843, 393, 265, 443, 3, 44, 136, 398, 747, 722, 676, 748, 169, 354, 875, 604, 222, 88, 587, 626, 729, 171, 544, 298, 50, 8, 130, 288, 189, 543, 479, 539, 936, 971, 508, 928, 907, 600, 180, 842, 547, 428, 522, 391, 987, 999, 497, 949, 865, 583, 86, 827, 816, 876, 374, 685, 630, 427, 985, 328, 868, 46, 739, 779, 613, 464, 499, 78, 789, 527, 434, 452, 152) + (746, 993, 452, 621, 97, 391, 390, 125, 675, 502, 672, 371, 434, 113, 120, 689, 164, 36, 860, 916, 619, 480, 573, 710, 28, 338, 418, 390, 805, 54, 897, 470, 750, 741, 248, 825, 50, 8, 770, 823, 712, 664, 581, 590, 481, 52, 728, 390, 262, 782, 873, 489, 226, 507, 884, 638, 242, 812, 792, 369, 6, 621, 500, 392, 183, 138, 495, 380, 56, 729, 221, 586, 521, 808, 549, 733, 238, 12, 543, 106, 342, 523, 307, 464, 199, 190, 781, 770, 255, 487, 788, 970, 806, 203, 89, 395, 135, 763, 85, 803) + (621, 613, 572, 779, 298, 306, 309, 5, 219, 572, 467, 377, 751, 902, 590, 772, 454, 864, 138, 597, 518, 533, 274, 565, 1, 683, 453, 955, 195, 214, 302, 921, 271, 937, 465, 990, 224, 122, 809, 97, 885, 257, 87, 583, 918, 965, 6, 441, 195, 427, 857, 13, 516, 611, 37, 606, 707, 601, 507, 475, 334, 405, 965, 82, 664, 168, 890, 735, 943, 44, 653, 941, 624, 662, 368, 295, 766, 282, 182, 715, 906, 787, 341, 291, 492, 86, 666, 866, 472, 681, 495, 272, 604, 382, 200, 986, 902, 838, 123, 241) + (698, 924, 101, 605, 376, 943, 561, 989, 556, 74, 3, 470, 479, 980, 363, 382, 707, 992, 589, 787, 460, 912, 717, 181, 114, 915, 296, 205, 299, 560, 670, 41, 517, 709, 676, 325, 313, 377, 166, 607, 211, 330, 121, 822, 38, 771, 894, 600, 749, 454, 762, 959, 364, 90, 290, 112, 684, 721, 740, 512, 701, 825, 633, 882, 462, 653, 559, 569, 440, 503, 875, 359, 184, 340, 59, 864, 195, 580, 914, 982, 429, 684, 700, 105, 218, 210, 673, 978, 557, 60, 143, 357, 503, 654, 823, 561, 622, 14, 306, 830) + (599, 581, 677, 793, 455, 293, 623, 54, 707, 185, 75, 283, 679, 486, 569, 309, 115, 492, 342, 234, 258, 304, 932, 106, 620, 26, 893, 18, 612, 421, 873, 910, 771, 576, 311, 291, 67, 801, 79, 38, 96, 817, 862, 396, 680, 399, 667, 703, 300, 493, 526, 18, 558, 241, 432, 418, 818, 569, 814, 465, 545, 543, 559, 887, 353, 508, 221, 335, 800, 963, 352, 171, 551, 365, 901, 765, 340, 941, 566, 572, 31, 200, 380, 15, 14, 939, 87, 145, 572, 920, 886, 905, 180, 822, 201, 452, 75, 683, 691, 105) + (435, 17, 454, 9, 268, 931, 367, 810, 62, 539, 704, 382, 369, 753, 172, 876, 893, 105, 445, 155, 813, 42, 929, 854, 302, 599, 211, 505, 446, 4, 366, 199, 688, 278, 812, 565, 236, 846, 877, 54, 754, 860, 155, 995, 319, 429, 834, 815, 912, 657, 285, 540, 395, 275, 467, 102, 686, 870, 769, 314, 887, 976, 233, 667, 498, 373, 136, 985, 945, 971, 197, 205, 885, 542, 37, 278, 171, 23, 539, 777, 250, 429, 732, 753, 25, 936, 633, 851, 830, 22, 551, 812, 32, 973, 416, 889, 398, 308, 932, 483) = 398622

*Places Schism into her bed and then I climb into mine.*

Don't mind us, we're taking a much needed rest, continue with the flashback!

*Goes right to sleep.*

*Comes home, utterly exhausted, collapses onto a chair.*

What a night! I felt like the universe's most wanted criminal!

*As Schism comes in and falls to the ground, being just as exhausted as Mr. Grinch, a flashback to last night's adventure takes place.*

*Mr. Grinch travels down the chimney of the first house he comes to and briefly gets stuck (as expected), then he comes out into the front room. As he is finishing placing the presents around the tree, a large dog looking like Sergeant Baskerville approaches and growls menacingly.*

Nice teeth!

*The dog promptly starts barking and Mr. Grinch gets out of there!*

*The rest of the night follows a similar pattern, including trying to place a kayak under the tree only to fall under the weight and knock the tree over or being attacked by a cat with a very massive grudge, Schism doesn't get much like either.*

*After resting for bit, Mr. Grinch and Schism realise that they also have presents. Schism is given a chainsaw for destroying accordion. Mr. Grinch, meanwhile, gets a new snow globe and a note that fills him with fear...*

*Note from Santa Claus: "Thanks for doing my job, really helped me to heal up. Merry Christmas and remember..."

*Meanwhile, at the North Pole.*

Schism, the hour draws upon us! It's time to load the sleigh and head out!

Using ninja gift wrapping skills on Schism: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 200000 ⇒ (623, 334, 900, 878, 475, 19, 648, 275, 873, 295, 125, 839, 199, 358, 305, 373, 731, 949, 996, 798, 947, 861, 909, 708, 673, 15, 185, 708, 681, 697, 905, 266, 305, 678, 254, 382, 172, 156, 404, 213, 306, 383, 688, 419, 416, 747, 968, 491, 159, 31, 725, 329, 484, 660, 71, 558, 988, 548, 774, 147, 633, 1000, 648, 321, 829, 514, 868, 341, 785, 369, 361, 273, 451, 835, 355, 901, 235, 101, 372, 69, 528, 173, 691, 524, 203, 129, 372, 518, 23, 56, 484, 75, 588, 838, 870, 767, 519, 469, 983, 878) + (879, 894, 723, 253, 943, 119, 514, 852, 507, 703, 578, 823, 561, 525, 881, 788, 925, 471, 560, 206, 152, 470, 359, 592, 670, 685, 641, 782, 843, 459, 869, 933, 738, 686, 677, 635, 962, 400, 863, 641, 797, 254, 878, 229, 725, 410, 76, 803, 669, 946, 734, 524, 874, 849, 844, 407, 557, 332, 459, 587, 374, 319, 705, 431, 157, 526, 605, 296, 680, 672, 968, 98, 645, 685, 404, 346, 346, 40, 671, 335, 41, 391, 844, 697, 993, 911, 374, 898, 963, 349, 794, 930, 498, 279, 808, 886, 573, 113, 549, 352) + (629, 788, 1, 978, 278, 929, 800, 315, 380, 795, 103, 732, 618, 809, 356, 812, 402, 467, 738, 511, 324, 628, 648, 694, 21, 334, 349, 488, 126, 20, 315, 231, 461, 416, 165, 845, 877, 141, 741, 516, 933, 206, 862, 701, 87, 973, 283, 936, 743, 784, 67, 410, 350, 86, 834, 901, 162, 56, 301, 617, 3, 282, 753, 72, 165, 608, 776, 551, 229, 174, 465, 529, 914, 343, 875, 550, 426, 335, 734, 192, 222, 100, 766, 518, 171, 135, 684, 713, 261, 9, 467, 963, 241, 848, 860, 816, 728, 713, 79, 293) + (660, 23, 14, 221, 832, 177, 407, 643, 840, 946, 55, 489, 345, 810, 606, 414, 495, 322, 58, 431, 306, 5, 259, 372, 636, 425, 600, 563, 370, 653, 493, 210, 684, 301, 626, 693, 738, 368, 289, 80, 340, 155, 915, 207, 278, 462, 759, 321, 471, 684, 792, 10, 37, 560, 394, 167, 111, 666, 873, 29, 703, 737, 174, 803, 177, 443, 295, 774, 308, 200, 474, 666, 291, 733, 382, 525, 792, 76, 110, 992, 959, 728, 906, 752, 523, 134, 35, 737, 719, 919, 635, 921, 515, 242, 895, 410, 104, 942, 19, 705) + (602, 45, 344, 140, 273, 596, 124, 953, 868, 208, 742, 889, 347, 314, 28, 811, 495, 387, 267, 829, 168, 259, 810, 301, 946, 874, 531, 397, 389, 17, 328, 757, 608, 699, 630, 419, 130, 366, 312, 733, 964, 454, 3, 775, 886, 168, 153, 400, 324, 755, 13, 287, 501, 330, 874, 323, 769, 663, 927, 695, 68, 257, 203, 892, 930, 414, 553, 153, 689, 644, 56, 622, 406, 698, 506, 830, 277, 155, 103, 995, 648, 690, 765, 555, 603, 985, 6, 208, 874, 19, 774, 701, 344, 642, 112, 900, 37, 562, 292, 116) + (850, 717, 831, 672, 84, 336, 758, 731, 251, 978, 72, 935, 39, 444, 984, 973, 94, 268, 732, 55, 51, 988, 405, 106, 446, 407, 595, 639, 820, 420, 428, 31, 515, 34, 680, 550, 868, 652, 156, 521, 982, 382, 825, 34, 267, 589, 897, 674, 569, 902, 886, 70, 135, 500, 895, 506, 697, 421, 863, 801, 419, 102, 139, 639, 358, 994, 288, 518, 793, 226, 127, 988, 319, 438, 391, 574, 673, 489, 917, 957, 657, 771, 33, 335, 338, 689, 952, 889, 966, 47, 650, 272, 190, 973, 416, 967, 616, 151, 300, 530) + (496, 790, 396, 313, 565, 684, 692, 24, 70, 621, 215, 875, 641, 496, 954, 815, 600, 149, 301, 532, 33, 153, 71, 574, 697, 629, 685, 723, 660, 205, 214, 647, 131, 4, 766, 850, 122, 988, 277, 731, 749, 379, 803, 519, 438, 577, 763, 330, 582, 38, 849, 493, 166, 921, 497, 104, 200, 282, 918, 191, 175, 297, 587, 384, 943, 200, 305, 373, 571, 635, 150, 741, 434, 440, 534, 517, 492, 761, 937, 867, 566, 807, 57, 931, 376, 552, 926, 450, 168, 721, 863, 768, 589, 14, 807, 203, 969, 638, 882, 798) + (739, 412, 179, 536, 929, 312, 899, 417, 431, 333, 896, 983, 654, 843, 440, 879, 828, 716, 112, 552, 579, 740, 341, 185, 345, 361, 470, 50, 572, 618, 860, 367, 839, 636, 423, 905, 414, 384, 511, 799, 178, 272, 732, 723, 273, 512, 922, 463, 685, 201, 260, 245, 903, 728, 428, 22, 728, 734, 572, 394, 636, 625, 92, 622, 899, 231, 280, 788, 733, 922, 157, 812, 642, 799, 736, 624, 683, 561, 860, 558, 56, 58, 70, 350, 919, 666, 238, 315, 398, 264, 932, 439, 477, 213, 421, 934, 851, 872, 897, 949) + 200000 = 614241

I always thought that the colour they used for the DS-1 Distortion was yellow.

Ninja gift wrapping skills!: 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 + 100d1000 ⇒ (592, 259, 705, 958, 455, 107, 681, 64, 639, 632, 529, 230, 938, 322, 667, 261, 831, 819, 663, 163, 914, 923, 845, 894, 924, 629, 127, 250, 909, 290, 44, 901, 893, 160, 407, 993, 563, 46, 974, 117, 13, 63, 975, 312, 206, 760, 84, 275, 149, 992, 807, 154, 458, 467, 145, 639, 259, 835, 747, 706, 333, 795, 440, 17, 119, 73, 170, 528, 503, 144, 753, 814, 608, 863, 58, 236, 859, 98, 220, 689, 394, 618, 334, 31, 412, 404, 963, 708, 242, 691, 144, 350, 608, 522, 908, 399, 8, 34, 854, 184) + (216, 444, 173, 581, 547, 541, 384, 205, 725, 595, 62, 764, 344, 471, 631, 958, 20, 137, 34, 202, 707, 434, 192, 985, 475, 611, 37, 970, 356, 128, 127, 844, 801, 1000, 342, 423, 755, 635, 92, 231, 785, 944, 774, 110, 428, 746, 704, 820, 935, 927, 272, 662, 796, 69, 576, 824, 409, 505, 830, 352, 993, 45, 833, 217, 102, 741, 594, 120, 685, 295, 458, 175, 826, 69, 874, 108, 306, 1000, 316, 589, 352, 154, 273, 778, 255, 431, 940, 198, 630, 145, 532, 187, 73, 143, 424, 866, 92, 474, 770, 12) + (410, 684, 125, 184, 724, 453, 43, 242, 390, 899, 967, 75, 747, 389, 202, 307, 192, 812, 121, 656, 814, 839, 835, 361, 633, 297, 304, 851, 358, 657, 468, 615, 905, 582, 835, 303, 228, 189, 599, 67, 179, 448, 669, 373, 812, 285, 486, 301, 805, 392, 953, 841, 630, 694, 702, 52, 813, 239, 829, 657, 408, 679, 996, 285, 860, 337, 839, 255, 700, 16, 890, 285, 182, 28, 850, 84, 584, 213, 906, 611, 88, 656, 626, 741, 753, 139, 153, 401, 632, 581, 403, 544, 78, 903, 637, 362, 561, 490, 349, 269) + (147, 844, 399, 91, 3, 610, 394, 726, 106, 891, 434, 123, 230, 486, 566, 201, 987, 17, 793, 588, 496, 912, 214, 850, 37, 982, 636, 362, 138, 99, 433, 372, 786, 386, 675, 96, 366, 902, 473, 679, 358, 881, 817, 720, 635, 840, 859, 336, 992, 461, 945, 409, 487, 42, 730, 653, 872, 56, 132, 944, 523, 506, 295, 560, 134, 753, 17, 66, 547, 444, 276, 417, 17, 547, 323, 53, 275, 633, 139, 142, 821, 523, 759, 268, 802, 273, 411, 21, 163, 864, 762, 634, 714, 34, 651, 718, 468, 203, 750, 275) + (797, 96, 285, 723, 702, 534, 765, 272, 729, 484, 612, 896, 173, 471, 284, 777, 269, 752, 13, 101, 10, 395, 321, 18, 337, 535, 433, 537, 608, 333, 85, 392, 233, 239, 697, 94, 185, 230, 739, 547, 554, 456, 544, 690, 348, 420, 694, 900, 3, 259, 220, 385, 842, 93, 94, 533, 221, 765, 997, 837, 860, 194, 331, 165, 955, 787, 444, 272, 254, 687, 904, 987, 578, 286, 941, 110, 567, 111, 233, 576, 210, 142, 869, 990, 918, 657, 21, 7, 690, 120, 899, 111, 454, 656, 396, 206, 687, 442, 946, 725) + (370, 652, 17, 980, 285, 907, 693, 467, 41, 779, 432, 75, 60, 750, 738, 407, 522, 53, 216, 157, 972, 37, 991, 595, 537, 120, 523, 359, 648, 103, 880, 944, 384, 354, 705, 402, 479, 68, 502, 210, 822, 413, 120, 231, 14, 701, 344, 145, 443, 402, 54, 65, 38, 455, 270, 507, 441, 249, 84, 924, 892, 702, 672, 597, 108, 268, 700, 665, 219, 156, 387, 569, 235, 865, 156, 769, 979, 489, 891, 263, 252, 447, 353, 207, 93, 297, 98, 398, 979, 797, 252, 873, 277, 259, 607, 953, 243, 879, 760, 981) = 286259

Out of blue wrapping paper and this was the only colour that goes with pink ribbons.

*Gift wraps Schism's head (whilst providing her with eye holes and breathing holes).*

Try that... should help with getting you to focus on your task.

Is Schism swiping left or right?

Left, right, centre, forwards, backwards and every other way you can think of!

Schism, stop swiping the elves' hats and help load the sleigh!

Nice little poem, could've had more to it though.

*Mr. Grinch walks over to a cabinet and admires his freshly waxed snow globes.*

I'm really glad I decided to collect these novelties!

Picks up a snow globe, gives it a shake and places it back while it's "snowing".

Right... I don't believe you.

Anyway, the tinsel needs more sparkle and my snow globes need waxing, so get to it!

One latte is not enough.

And the ceaseless bouts of flatulence and intoxication is a fair trade off is it?

*Is at the North Pole, checking the naughty and nice list (twice!), and examining the presents while Schism teases the elves, feeds the reindeers (polishing Rudolph's nose in the process) and drinking way too much eggnog lattes.*

I'm not so sure about this costume.

I tried getting your old costume, but it was donated to charity (don't know by who).

Never mind that. Where's my mutton pie?!

Um... I... don't know....