Hobbs Picklesmith's page

Did you say power washer?

Not many characters carry one of those.

Not even Hobbs or his Papa. That's why Quiznup had to borrow one from his old friend from the academy. It's just fortunate for Hobbs that his Papa needed to borrow it at just the right time. What a crazy coincidence.

Hobbs leaves the celebration early, having eaten only half a roast goose, two loaves of bread, three bowls of cabbage soup, one lemon tart and three slices of pumpkin pie. The wizard is eager to tell Mama the story of his adventures.

Back at home while eating a small snack of three ham and anchovy sandwiches and a dozen pickles that Mama prepared for him the wizard recounts in great detail the events of the day. His mother is shocked to hear of Jorsal's punishment while his father simply smiles. That night after Hobbs heads to bed. Zari drags her husband into the kitchen. "Ahhh! What are these Pathfinders doing to my poor boy? He saves the city and they make him muck stables. How can they do such a thing? And you. Smiling at your son's misfortune. Shame on you, Papa. I want you to go there in the morning and tell those wretched captains that under no circumstances will my dear boy be mucking out any stables."

Quiznup Rolaldaeganizer shakes his head slowly. "No Zari. I can't do that. This sort of thing happens all the time. I remember getting scolded back in my academy days. Why, did I ever tell you about the time that Dioppabblosup and I got caught smuggling a clutch of griffin eggs into our dorm room. It was early in our second year..."

"Oh no you don't. Don't change the subject by telling me a story you know full well I've heard at least a dozen times. It gets more outrageous with every telling, too. What are you going to do about this grave injustice?"

Quiznup shakes his head. "Nothing. It won't hurt the boy to do a little work for an afternoon. Besides I've been meaning to borrow Dioppabblosup's decanter of endless water for a research project I have in mind. Hobbs can pick it up for me in the morning before he has to go to the stables and bring it to me when he comes home. He'll be just fine." He smiles mischievously.

Zari frowns at her husband. "Fine, but if that Ambrus keeps bullying my boy I'm going to have words with him."

----------------------

The next day at the stables Hobbs spends his time gleefully using the decanter's geyser function to power wash the stables while carefully avoiding the monsters (horses).

arcana: 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (13) + 22 = 35

"Hmm...yes, simple. It seems that we need to hypertextualize the aetheric waves with a judicious amount of mystical leverage to the polyfractal microglyphic stream. Oh and be careful of any spectral feedback."

The goblin's hands weave complex patterns as he distorts the laws of spacetime and compels the energies thus released to do his bidding.

breathe fire vs blue, fire, CA, Burn it, fort save DC29: 4d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (4, 3, 1, 3) + 1 + 1 = 13

Hobbs moves up, waves his staff and breathes a gout of flame upon the remaining swarm and barely missing Salliss.

◆ stride, ◆◆ cast breathe fire

Hobbs briefly considers firing a lightning bolt at the remaining swarm despite Makie being directly in the line of fire but with a heavy sigh decides to launch a fireball from his staff instead. "Fire is more fun anyway."

fireball vs yellow, Reflex save DC 29: 6d6 + 1 ⇒ (1, 2, 3, 5, 1, 2) + 1 = 15

He then withdraws a scroll.

◆◆ Cast fireball, ◆ interact-draw scroll of howling blizzard

Hobbs tips his hat to speak to Erinaceinae. "I think I could do with another blizzard please, Erinaceinae." The hedgehog concentrates and empowers the wizard. Deciding to focus on the eastern swarm, Hobbs calls forth another snowstorm.

howling blizzard, Reflex save DC29, cold damage vs green: 10d6 ⇒ (4, 4, 1, 6, 5, 6, 4, 3, 5, 5) = 43

◆◆◆ Cast howling blizzard

Center point is well to the east of green so that no difficult terrain gets in the way of my allies.

howling blizzard

Pip, shouldn't the DC for your noise blast be 30 instead of 29? I figure 11 (level) + 4 (Expert caster) + 5 (Cha) +10 = 30. Did I miss a condition?

There we go. I I thread the needle just right it looks like I can fireball yellow, blue, and red.

Hobbs grins a sinister grin and rolls up his sleeves. Unsure if these demonic insects have a resistance to fire, he decides to put a little more 'oomph' into his favorite spell.

"While Blow them to hell is the appropriate vernacular, in this case, theologically speaking at least, I believe it would be more appropriate to say blow them to the Outer Rifts" The wizard frowns. "That phrase is somehow not as satisfying however, now that I speak it aloud. I suppose I must bow to your creative judgement in the matter and indeed Blow them to Hell."

fireball r4 vs yellow, blue, red reflex save DC28: 8d6 + 2 ⇒ (1, 6, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 1) + 2 = 25

◆ overwhelming energy, ◆◆ cast fireball

burn it

"Pip. Get out of the blast radius! Go that way!" Hobbs points east.

I'm having trouble getting the template to fit precisely but you get the idea. 30 foot burst. That area is now difficult terrain for 1 round.

Hobbs smirks and cracks his knuckles. With a gesture he summons a swirling blizzard that catches two of the swarms.

damage, cold reflex save DC29: 10d6 ⇒ (6, 6, 6, 2, 5, 3, 1, 5, 4, 5) = 43

◆◆◆ Cast howling blizzard

Howling blizzard

arcana: 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (14) + 22 = 36

"Hey no fair! Leave some for everyone else." Hobbs cracks his knuckles and begins to unravel the mystical knot binding the iruxi to the demonic entity.

diplomacy: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (13) + 18 = 31

"Snort snooort snort grunt." Hobbs reaches into his satchel and pulls out a jar of pickled salmon.

diplomacy: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (3) + 18 = 21

Hobbs tries to get the badgers attention but they are too excited by freedom to listen.

reflex save DC28: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (2) + 19 = 21

"Stop this at once thieves! Hey gimme back my hat!"

Hobbs is not taken very seriously by the thieves and is forced to chase down an unruly hat thief.

Hobbs stops and stares at the fire for just a little bit too long. He eventually comes to his senses and calls for the fire brigade. "Fire! Fire! Someone help with the fire!"

diplomacy: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (15) + 18 = 33

stealth DC26: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (20) + 18 = 38

"Eeep!" Hobbs heeds Pip's advice and practically vanishes.

reflex save dc26: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (3) + 19 = 22
hp reroll
reflex save dc26: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (14) + 19 = 33

Hobbs stumbles but catches himself.

Hobbs approaches Pip and Makie and offers to whip up a moderate elixir of life for them.

Hobbs has 3 versatile vials left so he can use one each on Pip and Makie and still have one left over if needed.

Healing needed

Salliss - 38 damage, 28 after the 10 minutes.
Marta - 32 damage, don’t know if they have a pearly white spindle aeon stone
Brix - 14 damage, don’t see a pearly white spindle aeon stone in inventory
Pip - 62 damage, 52 after the 10 minutes
Makie 62 damage, 52 after the 10 minutes

Without a doubt Makie and Pip need it the most.

Makie is the best with Medicine (M), Sallis and Brix are expert. All three of us have Continual Recovery.

Without looking at Feats or Archetypes
Default 2d8, 4d8 on crit success
Expert can try DC 20 for +10 HP
Master can try DC 30 for +30 HP

Makie has Ward Medic so she can treat up to 4 people. We only have 5 people hurt that I see. That can take care of the worst of it.

Either Salliss or Brix can treat Brix and he will be mostly recovered.

We also received Three greater healing potions from Zarta so that is 6d8+20.

I would suggest we attempt the medicine checks first then quaff potions.

I also just noticed I never declared what I was taking for provisions. If the GM does not object, that is another greater healing potion.

Remember that Hobbs has given everyone a moderate elixir of healing earlier.

Hobbs moves up and growls at Hesla. "Okay, you want the hard way? Fine then. You asked for it." He then nods sagely at Salliss.

intimidation, demoralize: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (14) + 16 = 30

◆ Stride, ◆ demoralize, ◆ prepare to aid, ↺ aid

"It doesn't have to go like this, Hesla. Surrender."

Hobbs throws a bolt of magical energy, then follows up with a nonlethal alternative.

damage, force, CA: 3d4 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (2, 2, 3) + 3 + 1 = 11

Slow, Fort save DC29
force bolt

"Hesla, please stop this. You're surrounded. Your pet demon blade is defeated. You can't win. You don't need to let your need for revenge consume you. Let us help you."

We probably won't be able to talk her down but Hobbs feels sorry for her and is hesitant to press the attack. He'll delay for now.

Hobbs, what would you like to know about Hesla

Lowest save please

Hobbs has Heroic Recall-Desperate moments call for keen insight. You can Recall Knowledge as a free action, rolling the skill check twice and using the
better result. This is a fortune effect.
He will use it on Hesla.
Remember he has a moderate cognitive elixir currently active

Hobbs's Monster Knowledge

◇ Recall knowledge

Hobbs easily avoids the acid and turns his attention to Riftcarver.

occultism, DC 32: 1d20 + 17 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 17 + 2 = 25
HP reroll
occultism, DC 32: 1d20 + 17 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 17 + 2 = 25

Unable to quite figure out the mystical mechanics of the weapon he casually creates a bomb and hurls it at Hesla.

quick bomber, dread ampoule, moderate vs Hesla: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (16) + 17 = 33
damage, mental: 2d6 ⇒ (2, 3) = 5 +2 mental splash

Hesla is frightened 1 on a hit and frightened 2 on a critical hit.

◆◆ Disable device, ◆quick bomber

dread ampoule, moderate

reflex save DC 29: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (1) + 19 = 20
HP reroll
reflex save DC 29: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (20) + 19 = 39

Hobbs stares at Riftcarver. "Hmm..." He reaches into a belt pouch and pulls out a vial and some pickle juice and whips up a cognitive elixir which he immediately consumes. He then moves into a better position.

"Try not to hurt her. She lost her parents so young. I don't know what I'd do without Mama and Papa."

◆ Quick alchemy, ◆ interact-drink elixir, ◆ stride

Cognitive Mutagen-moderate

Hobbs spends his time digging through his provisions for something to complement the pickled parsnips he just ate. He ends up making himself a quick roast goose sandwich.

After he finishes his sandwich he pulls out a pipe and fills it with an iridescent liquid. He blows into the pipe and produces numerous soap bubbles which float around his oversized goblin head. While the more perceptive team members search for a shop he hands out some elixirs that turned up during his snack search.

Hobbs gives everyone a moderate elixir of life

crafting: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (18) + 19 = 37

Hobbs launches into a long and overly detailed description of some of the characteristics of the sort of relic that they're looking for. Feeling quite hungry after his long rant, he pulls out a jar of pickled parsnips and quickly devours one. He takes another to eat enjoy a bit slower and holds the jar out for Dhrami. "Would you care for a pickled parsnip? If you don't like parsnips I also have pickled cucumbers, onions, tomatoes and radishes. No peppers though, sorry."

"Alright, we've got the poster, so next on the list is..." Pip peers at her notes and frowns. "Oh. Dang. It's the Blakros Museum, the biggest chaos and catastrophe magnet in Absalom!"

She sighs. "Oh well, might as well get that one over with!"

Hobbs shrugs. "I dunno. I rather like the museum."

Earlier...

Fresh from his triumphant victory at the Battle of Jorsal of Lauterbury (Also known as The Pepper Skirmish) Hobbs strides confidently into the fairgrounds only to falter as he spots the man and the monster (Also known as the horse). Deciding he's had enough glory for the day, he magnanimously allows Pip to lead the negotiations. The goblin cunningly appears to hide behind her when in reality he is guarding her back should the treacherous equine launch a surprise attack.

Hobbs hands her a handful of grubs before carefully placing the jar back in his satchel and lowering his hat. Quiet munching sounds can be heard emanating from underneath his hat.

Hobbs makes a face. "That's really more Mama's thing. I just like pickling, then eating the vegetables and Erinaceinae likes rooting for grubs." The goblin's face lights up. "Oh I almost forgot! Mana included a jar of grubs for Erinaceinae."

He rummages through his bag, nearly disappearing inside and pulls out a jar full of squirming grubs. Glued on the lid are the words 'For Erinaceinae' written in a spidery script. He opens the jar and lifts his hat to reveal a tiny hedgehog that waves politely at the pathfinders.

Sorry about the back posting but I only just got home from work and it doesn't make much sense for Hobbs to collect tears once Jorsal has more or less forgiven us.

Just a little bit earlier...

Hobbs looks around, confused. "Imposters? Where? We'll chase them just as soon as we collect these tears." He pulls out a vial from a belt pouch and before Jorsal can recover, swiftly collects some of the Venture-Captain's tears. "Thanks Venture-Captain. We'll find those imposters for you. Explore, report, cooperate, right?" He quickly scurries away.

Hobbs is too intent on creating his pepper bomb to notice the other pathfinders efforts. Once he is satisfied that his brew will do the trick he nonchalantly moves to Jorsal, alchemical tincture hidden behind his back. He decides to add to the effect by whistling aimlessly as he approaches. Once he gets close enough he strikes! Launching the spicy pepper juice right at the face of the hapless venture-captain.

crafting: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (16) + 19 = 35

"Quickly! Get his tears!"

Then she takes a deep breath, and says to Hobbs, "It may take more than an onion to help Jorsal cry, but it's good to be prepared."

Hobbs ponders this information for a moment before examining the provisions that Mama prepared for him. He carefully checks the jars of various pickled vegetables until he finds the object of his search. He triumphantly holds up a small jar containing a red vegetable.

"Aha! This just might do the trick. Mama's extra hot pickled peppers. You definitely don't want to get this brine in your eyes. It would make a skeleton tear up."

He hands the jar to Pip. "I have some pickled pearl onions stashed away in my bag too if you need them. I made them myself. They're more sour than spicy though."

Dunno how the adventure suggests we get Jorsal to cry but Hobbs is currently planning on manufacturing some sort of tear gas/pepper spray and doing a drive-by.

"Gah, I told you that we'd face more locusts! They even gave us a bug trap to bring them back in!"

"Have you ever had fried locusts? Quite delicious. I wonder if they pickle well?"

"Don't flatter her too much, it will definitely go to her head. It would be nice to have someone else that could communicate with her so that I don't always have to play translator. But she tells me the language of Ancient Thassilon is the most dignified and refuses to learn any other. She has had enough time after all. She's likely more years in her life than all of ours combined."

Hobbs stops chewing on a goose leg and looks at the bird with some concern. "Wait. You mean she doesn't speak bird?"

"Caw, caw, caaaaaw caw. Caw caw?

Hobbs has Animal Elocutionist

The briefing is interrupted as an elderly male gnome enters the room, closely followed by a protesting junior pathfinder. "Sir. You're not allowed in there. Mr. Rolaldaeganizer sir. They're in a meeting..."

"This will only take a moment lad." The gnome closes the door on the lad and gives a nod to the Pathfinder leadership. "Eando, Ambrus. This will only take a moment then I'll be out of your hair. Zari insisted I bring the lad his lunch and you know how insistent she can be."

Hobbs approaches the intruder, his cheeks rapidly changing from their normal green to a reddish hue. "Papa, rwyt ti'n fy ngwneud i'n gywilyddus o flaen y Pathfinders."

"Nonsense lad. This will just take a moment. And speak taldane. It's rude to speak a language that others in the room can't understand. Well unless you think one of them is a spy or a doppleganger or something. Remember your manners. Anyway you left in such a hurry that your mother forgot about that huge lunch she was preparing and she insisted I teleport here immediately to deliver it. Waste of time and arcane energy if you ask me but two hundred and twelve years of marriage have taught me that I'd best just get it over with and keep the peace. Anyway here you go. There's plenty to share with your friends. The parsnips pickled up nicely. There's a couple of extra jars for you. You still have the bag I made for you?"

Hobbs replies meekly, still very embarrassed. "Yes Papa."

The gnome retrieves a bag and pulls out a veritable feast. Roast goose, stuffed mushrooms, shepherd's pie, potato soup in a sealed jar, four loaves of fresh bread, at least a dozen jars of various pickled vegetables and more. "There you go lad. Remember to share with your friends. I'll be going now." He gives the goblin an awkward hug then takes a jar of pickled parsnips and places it on Ambrus Valsin's desk. With a nod to the Venture-Captain he turns and leaves.

Hobbs pulls out his own magical bag and prepares to fill it with his newfound loot. "Sorry about that. everyone grab what you want before I pack it up."

"It's really Mama's garden. She grows a lot of herbs. Also a lot of great vegetables for pickling. The parsnips and carrots came in nicely this year." The goblins stomach rumbles loudly and he gives the charcuterie tray a longing look.

Hobbs hurries into the room and looks around. He is out of breath and his hat is askew. "I thought time was of the essence. Where are Zarta and Venture-Captain Ambrus?" His stomach rumbles as he spots the assorted snacks. He frowns at the lack of pickled fare on the table but nevertheless tucks in heartily. After piling a plate quite high he turns and looks at the others and with a sigh he returns a large amount of food so that everyone else can have some too. "Sorry. I don't mean to be greedy. I've been up for quite some time helping Mama in the garden and I only had six eggs, eight slices of bacon, two bowls of porridge, three apples and a dozen pickles for breakfast so you can see why I'm a bit peckish."

Hobbs is at home helping Mama in the garden when the messenger arrives. The goblin smiles as he opens the summons. "It seems that the Society has need of my expertise once again. I'd better go change. These clothes you made for me are nice and they fit well but they lack a certain...presence." The wizard is currently wearing some casual clothing that actually fits him for a change but that doesn't stop him from rushing inside to change into his adventuring clothes. He emerges wearing a battered and ill-fitting tuxedo, complete with tails and a top hat. The hat is too small for his oversized goblin head and is tied on with string. He wears a pair of cracked spectacles that are also too small and secured with string. He spends a few minutes conjuring a camel to take him the 10 miles into Absalom.

His mother shakes her head and smiles at him. "I wish you would let me make you some proper wizard robes. That old suit of Papa's just doesn't fit no matter what I do to it." She steps up to her son and rolls up his sleeves and pants legs for him and reties the string on his hat.

Hobbs fidgets and complains, sounding much younger than his full 8 years. "Mama. You're going to make me late. I gotta go. Thanks for washing my tuxedo by the way. I don't know why you don't just let me use magic to clean it though."

"Now now Hobbsy I just want to do something for you. You've grown up so fast. I feel like I barely had time to get to know you and now you're a fully grown wizard going off to adventure just like your Papa. Sometimes I wish you were more like your sister. She didn't leave home until she was nearly 70. Now give me a kiss. And don't forget Erinaceinae. She's over by the parsnips rooting for grubs."

Hobbs gives his mother a quick peck on the cheek and goes over the the parsnip patch. He picks up a tiny hedgehog and carefully places her underneath his hat. He waves to his mother before climbing atop the camel and heading towards the City at the Center of the World. He shouts back. I'll bring you some great and interesting stories Mama. Don't get bored and start bleaching. You won't want to miss out."

Hobbs Picklesmith wrote:

Hobbs is fine with friendly fire in moderation.

Do we get more "Grr-grrrrr-grr-grrr"? :)

We shall see.

Hobbs is fine with friendly fire in moderation.

Thanks for the game everyone!

Anyone mind me using the last kitty? I will have to roll a 13 or better and my die seems to have ten 10s and ten 11s on it.

Yup go right ahead. Hobbs will go ahead and do the next bit now.

"We're almost out! Push just a little harder."

diplomacy DC26: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (16) + 18 = 34

Society DC26: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (13) + 17 = 30

Hobbs deduces a path through the maze of options. "Quickly everyone. Thus way!"

perception DC26: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (18) + 13 = 31

"Hmm..." Hobbs examines a nearby wall for a moment before pressing on a suspiciously worn brick...

acrobatics DC24: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (9) + 16 = 25

Hobbs carefully traverses the narrow ledge and crosses the chasm.