"I wonder if they'll walk towards us or just turn in place. My word, this place is full of interesting things."
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"My word, those are nice statues, and I'm not at all suspicious that something bad is going to result from going near them, which is sarcasm by the way, that's sarcasm, Don, sorry I should remember to speak up." Guldarin pokes his head into the room and peers around happily.
"I said I think it's possible the statues is going to breathe fire on us, Don." Guldarin looks embarrassed."I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were slightly deaf, I'll try to speak up in the future unless we're in some sort of situation where being quiet is advantageous when I'll try being quiet and tiptoeing around ever so quietly like a little mouse."
"I think it's possible the statue is going to breathe fire on us, Don, though of course I can't be sure until we actual go in there and try it which is something I'm not entirely eager to do since I don't really like being on fire though of course if it turns out to be necessary I am willing to endure suffering or at least a reasonable amount of it to complete any tasks that are required of me by the divine beings that guide my life when I'm smart enough to understand what they're saying to me." Guldarin beams at Don. "I wish I could stay here and copy all of this. It looks fascinating."
"Fire, Ice, and Lightning? All at the same time. That sounds like someting I'd like to see, though I must admit it also sounds rather uncomfortable if you're subjected to all three at once, unless the fire and ice cancel out, though I'd expect that to lead to lots of steam, which would mean we wouldn't be able to see very far though I imagine that would also apply to any enemies and means that perhaps we could sneak around them a bit. Or not." Guldarin pauses a moment. "I suppose a ritual or two could protect us from the mundane effects, though magical ones would be another matter."
"Can't stand people who are messy shelving books, the lot of them should be set on fire and then put out with acid, that'll teach them a lesson, although come to think of it they probably wouldn't benefit from that lesson for very long but the principle is good even if the scheme needs a little more work to be fully effective." Guldarin pulls the book out and carries it over to a table.
Guldarin potters around, muttering at the books, before settling down to read the labels on the shattered cases. If he finds nothing interesting, he'll come over to look at and then copy the maps.
"Seleuca. Hmmm, you know, I thought that was a place, but now I'm wondering if it might be a girl's name. Sel-eu-ca, Seleu-ca, Se-leu-ca. Sounds like an interesting girl, I wonder if we'll meet her and she'll turn out to be the evil overlord's daughter who will fall for our charms, or at least one of our charms because falling for all of us at the same time would be a bit awkward, and help us infiltrate the overlord's palace through a secret entrance before we battle him or her to the death in their throne room where she'll be his hostage after he realises her betrayal and one of us has to rescue her from a pit full of crocodiles after she's pushed in by the chief bodyguard unless he's secretly in love with her in which case he'll turn against the overlord and help us." Guldarin pauses. "This is such an interesting place."
"Dear me. You fellows, back again. And poor Greeg really doesn't look in good shape, that's really not how I like things to go, sorry about this Don but I really think you'll agree it's a good idea in retrospect even if you're less pleased at the time, though I suppose if we win you'll be pleased enough by that to overlook any slight mishaps along the way so sorry about this but I'm about to do something rather unpleasant and it involves you." A glowing orb forms between Guldarin's hand, then shoots out and explodes in a burst of light, enveloping two of the sparks, Iji, and Don. "Greeg, if you could stand to accept a blessing I'm sure the gods don't want you to die here and now.
"Wait, you want to see somewhere?" Guldarin sounds slightly surprised. "You know, you could have jsut asked instead of making us fight you first. Although I actually don't know where Seleuca is, embarrassingly enough, but I'm sure we can find it when we've got time to spare and don't have to spend time fighting homicidal oni and depressed elfs." His hand glows as he sends divine light towards the enemies.
"Could you cease, desist, and end this harrassment, strange spark like creature that I don't recognise acutally, that's interesting I wonder what you are, do I have a large enough bottle to stuff you into so I can get some proper time in to study what you're like." Guldarin backs away slightly. "Apart from mildly dangerous, that is, and I don't mean that to be offensive but it is only mildly dangerous, though I suppose with greater numbers it could be a lot more than that, and I really shouldn't be giving people ideas about greater numbers of enemies should I now." Guldarin's hands glow, and holy light strikes at the enemies.
"Excuse me, I realise you're a large chap and it's a bit of an effort for you, but if you could see your way to standing up it would make me rather happy as that actually makes you an easier target, and though I suppose that doesn't really make sense from your perspective I understand from some of my friends who hit things that people who are lying on the ground are in fact easier targets so you have to ask yourself whether lying down near large chaps with big weapons like Greeg and Cronin is better than standing up and being easier for me to hit which does make rather a conundrum I know, perhaps you're actually lying down to think about it, I always find I do some of my best thinking while lying down." Guldarin backs away slightly from the spark. "Shoo."
"I hope they're being stored properly, either flat as they would be in a properly built map chest or rolled as a scroll case might have them. I can't stand people who fold maps, the creases always seem to come out across the place you want to go so that you can't find it precisely, or sometimes you'll be wandering along happily when you come across a crease and the next thing you know you've been captured by cannibal lizardmen which isn't as bad as it sounds because, well, cannibals, but then it turns out that they need to sacrifice you to one of their gods so in fact it is as bad as it sounds at least if you consider being eaten and being sacrificed as being equally bad and who wouldn't if they didn't want to end up dead." Guldarin blasts away happily at both the parties foes.
"Well, obviously there's some honour else Keveras here wouldn't exist, and while philosophers might like to argue about existence I think it's best to take it on trust that he does except for the fact that it would probably make it a lot easier for him to hit you if you ignored his existence, perhaps you'd care to experiment with paying no attention to him as he hits you and see what happens, I'm sure it would be nothing bad." Guldarin peers at the oni as he moves closer. "My word, you are a big fellow." The smell of ozone fills the room as he brings forth some of his favourite thunder and lightning.
"As long as we're consistent, I don't think it matters. That's the way to solve a maze, you know, except when there are magical effects involved in which case it sometimes isn't the way to solve a maze, though you can also use magic to solve it, and brute force possibly has some uses, or at least being sufficiently athletic to climb over the walls or hedges, though I tend to think that cheating like that spoils some of the fun depending on the type of maze involved." Guldarin pauses, thoughtfully. "Not that the one in Anshade with all the Poisonthorn was one where it would be a good idea to push through the plants, though I rather think the pit traps and carnivorous Devilchids did suggest they didn't want people to just drop in for a visit."
"Well that'll be an interesting trip for some day, never been there and I daresay I'll have to buy something more fire resistant to wear, maybe in scarlet and gold although I'm not sure that those colours particularly suit me but I'm told they're appreciated by some of the residents. Or maybe that was somewhere else."
"Avarosh, Avarosh? Don't think I know that one, but I'm sure someone will, and I can always ask Moradin next time I'm talking to him to send me a sign. Now, let's see." Guldarin drops his pack, pulls out his holy symbol, and starts praying in Dwarvish over the remains of the King.
"Excuse me, your majesty, but do you have any particular wishes concerning what we should do with your body after we disanimate it, it seesm rather improper to just loot it and leave it for scavengers, not that I have any particular dislike for scavengers who perform a useful function but it really doesn't seem proper to leave a dwarf king to them."
"Well, I really don't know what to say, having to fight a dwarven king just seems wrong if you know what I mean, and I'm sure my gods will have something to say about this, although hopefully I'll be able to persuade them that it isn't so much fighting as freeing, as I'm fairly sure you don't really want to be here, so that makes it all right even if it doesn't deel all right emotionally, so, your majesty, if you don't mind being freed that's what I'll try and help to do." Guldarin moves round slightly and stares rather aggressively at him.
"Ah, well, now, this isn't so good, smiting other dwarves but I suppose if it's what you want I can oblige, although I do remember one time when someone asked me to beat them and I'm not sure she..." Guldarin blushes red, and a blast of lightning arcs out of the sky and towards the king.
"Ah, well, now, this feels rather strange, dead dwarves not being all that hostile to me except for that unfortunate incident in the old mausoleum of course but that doesn't apply here, I don't suppose you could see your way to leaving without any sort of fuss, claim that you were guarding another entrance or something when we broke in, assuming of course that there are other entrances which actually I have some reason to think they're aren't, but you could always go and guard a bit of it which we aren't heading towards and avoid all this unpleasentness." Guldarin tries to heal some of Greeg's injuries.
"Please be careful which dwarf you're hitting, everyone. Some of us are alive and like it that way."
"Oh, is that what that's for. I was going to... wait, this is one of those 'tactful' moments people keep telling me about, isn't it. I had absolutely no intention of doing anything to it, especially since I didn't know what it was and wanted somewhere safer to test it, ideally where any possible explosion wouldn't ruin anything, although I have to admit that a place that's already fairly ruined probably would have been quite suitable in some ways, I just need a proper library and some magical equipment, plus a room with stout walls, though of course," he looks slightly disappointed, "we know now what it is and experimentation would be rather unnecessary." He starts digging through his pack. "Now did I remember to pick it up?"
"Well discovering new things is a reward in itself as far as I'm concerned, although other rewards are of course nice to have as well and anyway not all my companions are quite so interested in finding things for the sake of finding things, not that I mean to imply they're mercenary at all, but I must admit I'm quite fascinated by the possibility of finding an exarch, even one that passed away years ago and isn't inclined to talk, there are so many fascinating questions I'd love to ask not that I intend any disrespect to the body of course." Guldarin ponders for a moment. "Glad to help."
"An interesting problem, since it's forbidden but we obviously need to go there anyway, on the other hand places that are forbidden and mean it don't really need defences by their nature as people wouldn't go there, so perhaps it's only really forbidden because it's so dangerous and people as capable of dealing with dangerous things as we seem to be would be able to deal with the dangers without too many of us dying which would make it all right to go there, and incidentally I have some magic that might help a bit if we need to find things out, assuming I can get it to work which I usually do though some of the rituals are quite new and I haven't used them before."
"Oh?" Guldarin looks at Don. "Have their been some bandits, charming or otherwise, in the area before us, because I certainly don't see any signs of them, not that I'm sure what charming-bandit-sign looks like, is there are particular type of shoe pattern they favour or something?" Guldarin peers carefully at the street.
"Boudoirs are nice places to corner someone for a final encounter, are they? I'd have thought the pillows would have been a problem, since they'd probably burst and once that happens the whole air would be filled with feathers, which would make it harder to see people when they weren't very close by increasing the chance that they'd escape and incidentally causing all sorts of problems for people who are both ticklish and lightly clad." Guldarin is less talkative than usual as he follows along, carrying out an inventory on his ritual components as he goes.
"Ah, are the corpse commons known for being unpleasant in any way, cold or hot perhaps, that we would need protection against, or is it just a matter of dealing with a few cantankerous ghosts that are probably going to be rather unpleasant to us in ways."
The temptation for Guldarin to notice he's being surreptitiously checked out by Keveras, and leap to a conclusion about why, is one that must be resisted. Or not.
"The Cult of Rebirth are based in the Corpse Commons." Guldarin strokes his beard. "Well, that sounds not at all dangerous. Whereabouts are we supposed to be going, and can we get a drink of water there, preferably water that isn't poisonous in the water some of the other water in the area is as while we can certainly purify it we may not be aware of the problem until the berserker rage that seems to be a symptom starts and I certainly wouldn't like to go berserk myself, it would be very bad for my beard."
"Um, yes, of course, the rod too." Guldarin hands it over. "Though I have to point out that while it's powerful, I am capable of doing a fair variety of things without it, and there's not really any way to take those away short of chopping my head off which would work perfectly well not that I'm suggesting you do that of course."
"Yes, yes, of course." Guldarin hands over his warhammer.
"Ah, it looks like we have a welcoming party. Funny looking chap, and coming out on his own seems a bit risky unless they're very sure we're friendly of course in which case it's not risky at all, though I have heard of cases where the person sent out to say hello is always the most formidable warrior in which case he or of course she might be rather dangerous, at the same time there are also groups who send out people they think are expendable and wait to see whether they get, well, expended. Let's not hurt him unless we have to." Guldarin waits till the welcoming party gets nearer. "Hello there neighbour, have you seen any of our companions? One of them is rather large, like Greeg here." he points appropriately, "and the others, well, they aren't so large but they make up for it in other ways."
Guldarin strolls along after Greeg.
"Well. If I'd known how interesting bringing down monarchs was I'd have done it before. Deliberately, as opposed to accidentally, though it wasn't really my fault that time." Guldarin looks around. "Should we shout for the oklu, or just wander around until we find some. Or something else, which might tell us where they are or perhaps try and eat us, though I'd rather hope it isn't the second."
Trignotarbs
Guldarin is now nearly smart enough to know when it's time to shut up.
"They're good pickled, in my experience. Also roasted, though you have to be careful about the spices you use with them."
"Ah, Dram, would you like a little assistance? Amy, I think our druid friend needs to get to his bear, quickly."
Trignotarbs "You didn't say you are a messenger from nature, Greeg." Guldarin sounds surprised. "Could you ask her, next time you're picking up some of the messages you carry, if she could do something about the scorpions that crawl into my sandals all the time so that I have to blast them with holy radiance. It can't be good for them, and it doesn't do my sandals any good either, so leaving each other alone would seem like a wise and sensible course, although I suppose if vengeance is on Miss Nature's mind she could be after only the scorpion thing doesn't really work and she shoud perhaps try something involving carefully trained drop bears waiting in ambush, not that I really want to be attacked by drop bears as I don't really know what they look like but it would seem fairer than using unfortunate scorpions."
"Hi ho, up we go." Guldarin directs Amy to lift him up the wall. "Well, aren't you a big one. Impressively large thorax, I'm sure it's very attractive to males, not that you need to be that attractive physically being a queen and all, people in general seem to be attracted to powerful and/or wealthy people no matter how physically attractive they actually are which does lead to some jealousy on the part of the people whose handsomeness is constantly being overlooked in favour of people who have that wealth and power, though of course I don't consider myself particularly handsome of course and come to think of it I'm not really without a certain amount of power, granted of course by the gods which does tend to make relationships a rather one-sided thing when you never know if you're going to be heading half way round the world on a quest you don't really understand not that that happens to me a lot, not more than once or twice a year, hardly anything at all, now where's my rod I need to do some smiting."
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