"Doctor" Victor Moriarty, M.D.'s page

Thirty years ago Aiymi was told that she would eventually lose one of her kidneys due to a birth defect/deformity. Based on some blood work she's had the last couple weeks, that time has likely come. We're at the nephrologists' office now.

Ultimately, right now, we don't know anything, but it seems likely.

You want a kidney? I'll sell you a legitimate human kidney, super cheap! Wire me money today, kidney show up tomorrow!

You want observations?

Tell you what, give me your lungs now, and I'll mail you the observations next week! It's totally legit!!

So wait, all I need to make a quick grand for a botox treatment is an old can of beans and a syringe!

Proud poppa bragging moment:

So, Impus Major is a total slacker. He *almost* totally forgot that he was supposed to even be taking the SAT.

So we're talking NO studying at all. He never once even looked at a practice test. It was, quite literally, wake up one morning after a late night out, stagger in, and answer a few questions.

Under those circumstances, I consider a 1260 (690 English, so 93rd percentile, and 570 Math, so 73rd percentile) not just respectable but downright incredible.

Seems like if he'd actually prepared or studied or cared he probably would have been able to break 1400.

Little tyke's smarter than he lets on...

You want a 1,600? Mail me check and I get my cousin to take test next week!

Also, send photo, so I can Photoshop him fighting the bear from Legends of the Fall so he can get on the tennis team.

You want to be 20th level wizard?

Mail me check tomorrow and I send Gandalf next week!

You want immaculate conception! Mail me check tomorrow and I'll send the stork with baby next week!

You want mattress tags?

Mail me check tomorrow and I'll send you mattress tags in the mail next week.

You want ice cream? You give me check now, I mail you ice cream next week.

You want contact lenses?

Mail me check tomorrow and I'll send you new eyeballs next week!

Hey. You gots some pretty nice aliases, there. Be a shame if something happened to them, get me? Maybe I could help you, ah, keep those aliases nice and new, huh? Of course, if I do this favor for you, ah, let's call it a gratuity, would be greatly appreciated. So, what do yous say?

You want aliases! You send me check, I mail you aliases next week!

What do you get when you cross a caterpillar with a parrot?

A walkie-talkie.

You want dew?

Mail me check, I send dew next week!

You mail me bank account I send you koala next week.

You vant teeth, I give you teeth for liver, even trade.

You want life?

Mail me blank check Monday, you get life by next Tuesday.

Back off buddy!

These kidneys.. er, this patient is mine, I saw him first!

You want new brain?

Got one here, belonged to Baldwin Brother, the mystery is unlocking which one it was.

Here, I'll take brain now, give you Baldwin Brain next week.

Just checked. It would cost me an arm and a leg to get there. Would be fun though...

I can take the Arm and Leg today, and mail you the check Monday.

You uh, you gonna keep that brain? I got this one over here, super cheap, came from a Mensa member, but he used it to cook Meth.

Do you need a spare Kidney?

....... I've got plenty.... over here in this alleyway, just follow my associate Rocko...

captain yesterday wrote:

as far as I can tell its Don Carnage from Tailspin:-)

right now waiting to pick up the wife from work:)

"Fire at will!"

"..."
"No, no! Do not fire at Will! He is my first mate! I meant shoot THEM!"

Don't worry ole Chaps, we can stay in this Cabin in the Woods, surely nothing will happen, but if it should we should probably split up. The better for the patsy to hunt you down Er, i mean where is Jeffrey with that Tea?