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Briney consider his first prey: Big "Orange" Cat.
He mentally calculates that that should be "just enough" and stridently bounds into flanking position (with Nic Nic), letting his Strategic Strike rip!
Inspired Strategic Strike @ (9)+7+1 = 17 vs Flat-footed @ Slashing
◇) Devise
◆) Stride
◆) Strike
◆) Interact to Draw Alchemist Fire!
In his head, this "perfect strike" fells the kitty, and he draws a Fire Bomb preparing to deal with the final threat, to which he taunts: "This is why don't mess with Goblins - We Be Family!"
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Briney's plans continue to come together as he carves a large portion of cat's flank off with the catslicer. The poor tail barely hanging on.
Ogren joins in with a retaliation of his own, clobbering the cat and leaving it wheezing in pain.
---
The druid looks enraged at this point, throws his hands into the air. He chants and fire swirls into an orb above his head before bouncing into the Ogren.
He then raises his shield.
"Yes Mr. Hobbs."
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"Oggie, I got it this time, let me slicey, slicey." the chef her hat singed and blacked, raises this new knife, "OK, knifey, it's your last chance, you either dice and slice or your going in the pot of shame." The goblin stares at the knife, rather than her prey as she tries once more to hit the cat in front of her. Fortunately the cat seems somewhat distracted by her other companions, as their blades get bloody with each wound they make.
She misses completely and immediately gets into a rage, about the misbehaving knife, "OK, that does it you useless piece of steel." Nic Nic turns to cavern wall and starts to talk to someone there, "Granny, help me out here. Where is the sharp bit on this knife?"
He swings again in the general direction of the leopard.
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"Hmph, I's just tryings to be helpfuls but ifs you don'ts needs my helps then whatevers," Pooka sniffs indignantly before turning back towards the fray and hustling to help the others against the remaining leopard and the crazy halfling. As she closes the distance she continues to sing...
~Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds still we take to the street
For the kill, with the skill to survive
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger~
______________
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At the sight of the fireball, Galilea instinctually throws a hand up to shield her face from the heat. She keeps pressing her attack on the Druid. ”Hey &#%@-face! I’m not done with you! Keep your $)%!&@ eyes on me not them!”
She extends her free hand and another pressurized blast of water shoots out towards the Druid.
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Nic Nic prepares to send his ridiculously ineffective knife to the pot of shame as it fails to hurt the remaining leopard.
On the other hand, Galilea summons another burst of water that slams the druid into the wall again.
"STUPID STUPID STUPID. I can burn you too! Just you wait! Goblin-loving, nature-destroying, water-tossing harlot!" he yells at her, his hair in his face from being soaked in water.
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Having had little luck against the armor of Ogren, the leopard switches attention to the next nearest target, Nic Nic.
It latches onto the goblin's leg, biting down hard, but fails to sink the claws in as well.
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Torn between a Rock Druid and a Hairy Cat, Briney considers the latter:
Already flanking the Cat, he puts his theoretical plan into action!
◇) Devise
◆) Inspired Strategic Strike @ (12)+7+1 = 20 vs flatfooted @ slashing damage.
◆) Stride
◆)
@
"Now THAT should finally do it!" he thinks to himself, once again imagining the "case" to be "solved" (ergo: the "cat" to be "dead").
Though she's not much of a goblin - nor a "lady" - Briney then steps in front of the goblin-killer mastermind and defends his friend's honor!
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Ogren gives a small look of dismay as the leopard clamps down on Nic Nic and pushes a small glimpse of a different fate towards the wild animal. One where it has all it could eat, with goblins regularly petting it and giving it love and affection, and then hopefully in the future finding another leopard of the other persuasion and maybe even kittens.
His next actions then depend on what the cat does.
Ogren strides up to the curse flinging halfling and frowns at him. "You wouldn't stop if I asked you nicely would you? No? Then may I introduce you to my mace."
He then raises his shield.
He raises his shield, or strides over to the halfling.
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Even though Briney continues to slice away and Ogren offers an alternate fate, the cat just growls and continues to hold onto the leg of Nic Nic...that is until Ogren smashes it in the face one more time.
He steps away from the pair of goblins then flees to the edge of the platform before whistling loudly. As he does the flaming orb bounces up the steps then rolls towards Briney!
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Briney dodges!
Then formulates a Final Contingency predicting a Fiery Finale!!!
◆) Devise Stratagem
◆) Inspired Strategic Alchemical Strike w/ Alchemist Fire @ (18)+7+1 = 26 @ fire
◆) Stride
"Fire with Fire, we says. You dish? You take! Sillier than Longshank! Do you know who We Be?" Leaving the open air for the next-of-kin to taunt!
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Hobbs looks on smugly as he surveys the carnage only for his expression to quickly change to chagrin when he realizes that he is out of magic missiles for the day and the sole opponent is well out of reach of his remaining magics.
"Yeeeep!"
He moves forward so quickly that he loses his top hat, revealing a frightened hedgehog desperately clinging to Hobbs' oversized head.
"Hang on Erinaceinae!"
Breathing heavily, but satisfied that he is now within range, the wizard performs a simple (and quite rude) gesture and a single bolt of mystical energy springs forth and strikes the halfling.
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The druid manages to hang on as they are doused in the much more effective Alchemist's Fire but only barely. He starts to open his mouth to give Briney an earful as Hobbs sends a single bolt that smacks him in the forehead.
"You stinki-" he manages to get out as his eyes roll back, he goes stiff and falls back over the edge of the platform. The loud thud that follows sounds pretty painful.
The group has ample time to search the cave but only find a large amount of goblin bones, kobold bones, and more feline bones. Stashed in the druid's lair is around 36 gold pieces that can be scooped up.
It would seem all the kobolds and felines working with the druid are gone but even if a few remain, they have lost the one pointing them at the goblins.
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Briney delicately maneuvers his druidslicer into the gums of his foe, starting with the wisdom teeth, through the molars, canines, and incisors, then finally the front teeth, whistling happily as he does! He then pulls out another piece of string, and strings them together, and...
...presents another necklace to Galilea "You honorary goblin!" jumping up and down reaching as if to mean 'kneel down a moment' (Briney very short - short for even a goblin) while he presents his gift - if she be willing - atop her head like some craven tiara!
He elbows Pooka "So whatcha think?" admiring his own craftgobship greatly!
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Pooka starts to sing another verse but then stops and blinks when the halfling falls.
"Oh, is it overs alreadys?"
She almost sounds disappointed by this. But then she shrugs again. "Oh wells! Alls well thats ends well, rights?"
With the group no longer needing her singing she instead turns her attention to the injured Nic Nic. "Ooh, they gots you goods, didn't theys? Don't worrys though, I's gots a spells for thats!"
She looks like she's about to say something else but quickly falls silent in a sort of fascinated trance as Briney proceeds to liberate the fallen druid of his teeth. When he nudges her, she starts with surprise and quickly shakes her head.
"It sures is somethings! Kindas, uh, gross...buts guess it's okays since he won'ts be needings then anymores..."
Pooka stares at the druid and then looks around the cavern. "Sos...he just thoughts building a bridge here woulds wrecks nature or somethings? Weirds. He should've just talked tos Zig abouts it; maybes they could've worked somethings out."
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Nic Nic gets up off the floor and stands, chef's hat at the ready. "OK Granny, where theys gone?" Her eyes red and bulging, "Where's dinner, who's for in the pot with unslicey knife." She furiously looks around for someone to hit, but only sees goblins and the lady who wants to be a goblin. Nic Nic lets out a cry of frustration, "But I wanted to hit kitty!" she says, before falling to the ground and sitting in a cloud of dust. She takes a few deep breaths, before she notices the green blood all around and the deep wounds and hurts she feels. "Kitty wasn't nice!" she says despondently and slams the knife onto the ground, sending sparks flying and a shock wave that makes her whole body jump. She sits, hurt and wounded, not just by the bite marks on her torso, but emotionally.
As she sits, she feels a wave of happiness, of cooking fried fish and other exciting tasty meals. Her thoughts return to when her late granny Cis Cis would teach her how to cook eggs on a hot stone, burn crunchy hedgehog stakes on the open fire. Some how these thoughts calm her and even her wounds magically close. She sits there in her revelries for moments, smiling inanely into space, seeing granny smiling back at her. As granny's spirit fades again, Nic Nic regains her mental facilities again, only to see everyone else clearing up and searching the cavern.
Getting up she says, "Anyone for a cup of meaty broth?" or at least hot muddy water
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"OOh ooh yes Briney do!" getting "first" in line for broth. Briney eats much broth. A casual underlooker might even ponder exactly where on his tiny frame (tiny even for a goblin) he "puts" all the broth he ate. If asked "Straight to my head" he claims, pointing a finger at his noggin!
With a final Hammer swing at a precise (and perfect) angle, Briney drops the over-large two-handed implement twice the size of his own body, now staring at the sign on the "goblin" side of the bridge that plainly reads:
Set in prominent letters of un-matching size with runny paints. Thoughtful now, he stands beside Hobbs, staring at the arch bridge. "Pretty"...