Yohoho and a bottle of Rep! (subSPUF Skull and Shackles)

Game Master Rynjin

=/

I was really hoping you'd just roll for Scorching Ray, that was really good damage on Gortus (and would have dropped him, in fact). You missed both times in melee, since obviously his AC is higher than his Touch AC by, well, about 8 or 9.

Gortus blocks both blows with his shield and barely acknowledges Ace's presence as he sizes up hue Jrahk.

"Ready to die, boy?" he asks rhetorically, before attacking the big Barbarian.

1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30
1d20 + 12 ⇒ (18) + 12 = 30

YOU'RE S&%@TING ME

3d8 + 33 + 2d6 + 1d4 + 11 ⇒ (3, 3, 1) + 33 + (6, 3) + (2) + 11 = 62

IT WON'T STOP AAAAAA

Gortus unleashes another terrifyingly powerful blow, severing both of Jrahk's arms at the elbow, one of his legs at the knee on the backswing, and then thrusting straight through his heart.

F~&+ IT, MERCY RULES

Your crew watches in horror as you fall, one by one, to the savage and unstoppable Gortus Svard, Scourge of the Inner Sea.

They all rush in to your aid.

Arron leaps at the Captain, savage bite trying to find purchase.

1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

But to no avail.

Rosie whips out her sidearm and fires a bullet at the burly Hobgoblin.

1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

But barely misses.

Riza, almost all the way across the ship, extends her pike and swipes at Gortus.

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (11) + 9 = 20
1d8 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8

She nails him, right in the neck. He's bleeding profusely, and staggers under the crushing weight, but barely remains standing.

Currently at 0 HP.

Sandra moves in, desperate to save Jrahk. She whips out a scroll from her case she purchased in the last port for just such an occasion.

I'll remove 1250 from your Party Fund later...

Caster Level Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Success!

5d8 + 9 ⇒ (1, 3, 2, 4, 7) + 9 = 26

Sandra breathes a glowing white mist all over Jrahk, reviving him from his recent death and knitting some of his injuries closed.

Jrahk is back to 3 HP and conscious, but prone. I will be rolling on the "Peg Legs and Eye Patches" table in a moment for this Deus Ex Machina to see if he keeps one of his limbs or not.

Owlbear rushes in at Riza's shouted order, to try and knock Gortus around!

1d20 + 5 ⇒ (17) + 5 = 22
1d10 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8

Captain Gortus finally falls!

But he's not dead. If you wanted to try and recruit him or summat you could still pick him up.

Unfortunately, there may be some consequences.

The scythe wielding minion, seeing his Captain fall, fights furiously. He lashes out at Sandra, kneeling by Jrahk, with a mighty blow.

1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17
2d4 + 9 ⇒ (2, 1) + 9 = 12

He barely hits the lightly armored priestess, but the force of the scythe blade is still powerful. Sandra is rocked by the blow, and is bleeding heavily. She likely won't survive another hit of similar force.

Ace, you're up again, then Jrahk.

1d20 ⇒ 18

Well Helmsman Jrahk, you're going to have to get used to your footsteps going *CLUNK* when you walk.

Jrahk gasps as Sandra's magic does its work as best it can. His arms are restored and the wound in his chest healed (though both his arms around the severing point and his chest are bearing massive, calloused scars).

Unfortunately, there's a limit to what this spell can accomplish. Jrahk's leg is still lying on the deck next to him, though the bleeding is mostly stanched on the remaining stump, it failed to reattach.

Your speed is permanently (unless you get the leg Regenerated or get a magical prosthesis that will negate it) reduced to half (20 feet base, 15 in armor) and you are no longer able to Charge.

There is the ominous sound of treasure mysteriously disappearing from your funds...

Ace shouts "YOU BASTARD"

Ace lets go again with a double blow.

atk1: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18

dmg1: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

atk2: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26

dmg2: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

CRITS ALL OVER

crit1: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

crit2: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18

and proceeds do slice the man open.

CROCKETS OP VOLVO PLZ NERF but seriously rng plz stop destroying plans and player skill

Slickjaw moves up to one of Gortus' crew. "Leave Gortus alive! Kill the rest!"

1d20 + 12 ⇒ (14) + 12 = 26
1d3 + 9 ⇒ (1) + 9 = 10

Slick, you're like...deader than dead, what're you doing?. :P Also, what he said-leave Gortus alive, I have plans for him. Also when y'all get around to it, healz pl0x.

Stabilize Check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15

Que? The first one didn't crit, Ace. =p I think you're misreading the total as the die. But the "second" one confirms.

1d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Ace slashes the man once, then twice, with a strength borne of fury. The man doesn't drop, but he's on his last legs.

Slick, it's over. You're dead, you don't exist any more!

Jrahk, I just remembered something, you have Superstition. So you need to roll Will vs that Breath of Life.

1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11

Failed! You're still at 3 HP instead of -10 or so.

Which means you can act. You dropped your Falchion when you died, but you could use a Move action to pick it up, or simply bite your opponent. Either way, you take a -4 to-hit from being Prone. Alternatively, I could allow an Acrobatics check (DC 15) for you to leap to your foot and so forego said penalty.

bebe you forgot to roll for blur ;)

"huge for jrahk and dex + alter self (kobolt) + blur for slick"

1d100 ⇒ 5

he missed

Grinning and cackling, Slickjaw pops up from the ground with terrifying speed to slice open one of Gortus' men! He had been bluffing, and terrifyingly enough, he had done so with no discernible reason!

1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31
Threat: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (17) + 12 = 29
Crit: 2d3 + 18 ⇒ (2, 2) + 18 = 22

"NOTHING CAN KILL A REAL GOBLIN!"

Also Shield: 1d100 ⇒ 57

The shield hit as well, but didn't crit so he can't one-shot slick anyways. If it deals more than five damage, Slick will trigger his healing. Which, by the way, would have saved him as it auto-triggers when he is dropped to negatives and would have brought him back up to -14, which is just barely alive.

bebe you forgot to roll for blur ;)

"huge for jrahk and dex + alter self (kobolt) + blur for slick"

1d100

he missed

Grinning and cackling, Slickjaw pops up from the ground with terrifying speed to slice open one of Gortus' men! He had been bluffing, and terrifyingly enough, he had done so with no discernible reason!

1d20+12
[dice=Threat]1d20+12
[dice=Crit]2d3+18

"NOTHING CAN KILL A REAL GOBLIN!"

[dice=Also Shield]1d100

The shield hit as well, but didn't crit so he can't one-shot slick anyways. If it deals more than five damage, Slick will trigger his healing. Which, by the way, would have saved him as it auto-triggers when he is dropped to negatives and would have brought him back up to -14, which is just barely alive.

You had 2 rounds, which I specifically said. You drank a Dex muragen and Alter Self. No Blur. Ded.

Spontaneous Healing activates if you fall Unconscious. It does not save you from going from "awake" to "dead" in a single hit. Even if it did, it simply takes you from -24 to -19. Still dead.

Also, -14 is STILL DEAD. You only have 14 Con. You die when your HP = Negative Con (which is -14).

I dunno why you're fighting so hard since you wanted Slick to die anyway.

Run these things by me in PMs before you post them, because it just becomes a clutter.

Also, forgot, Jrahk got hit with that shield earlier for 15 damage. So you're at -12 (-24 out of Rage) currently, not 3.

So that means Initiative wraps back around.

3d20 ⇒ (19, 17, 15) = 51

3d6 + 9 ⇒ (4, 4, 6) + 9 = 23

Arron unleashes a flurry of hits on the remaining minion, striking him with both claws and ripping out his jugular.

"Well, that was easy enough, eh?"

Combat ends. Gratz! Welcome to level 5.

Is Jrahk stable? Because I'm not at the moment and I don't see myself making the check anytime soon.

Ugh. Gortus paused for conversation, and considering the average rate of speech, even if they were talking slowly (unlikely in a high-stress scenario), there was probably more than 30 seconds of conversation. Slickjaw wanted to buff, so he would've chugged it as Gortus started chatting. But whatever, since Cube's campaign won't be happening for a while I'll semi-port that char over.

Still, whatever. It's all good.

Stabilize: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16

Nope. But I've got 10 rounds to live thanks to Raging Vitality.

Drinking a potion during conversation would have been seen as a sign of hostility regardless (it implies you're getting ready for trouble, much like beginning to cast a spell would be). The only thing that would have really changed is that he would have stopped conversation and smacked you instead of Cyrdic first.

Jrahk is Stable anyway because he was subject to magical healing (which automatically stabilizes the subject).

Sandra begins praying to Besmara for help. She begins exuding a weak light, which washes over everyone present, barring the unconscious Gortus and his two still living (but out cold) minions.

1d6 ⇒ 6
1d6 ⇒ 3
1d6 ⇒ 1
1d6 ⇒ 5

Everyone heals for 15. You're back up to +3 (-9) Jrahk, so dropping out of Rage will no longer kill you. This part is not an asspull. I figured it'd be handy a while back if Sandra retrained and got Versatile Channeling and Selective Channeling.

Sandra then places her hands over Jrahk's chest and uses what little healing magic she has in the hopes of at least waking him up.

2d8 + 3 ⇒ (6, 3) + 3 = 12
1d8 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

Assuming you stopped Raging, you're back up to 12 HP now, Jrahk.

Thank you based Sandra. Ending rage.

Jrahk sits up, moaning groggily. He takes a moment to assess the situation.

"Gortus...unconscious. Minions dead. Good."

He looks to his left and groans.

"Slick...headless. Bad."

He looks down at himself, and groans louder.

"Leg...gone. Very bad."

Cyrdic wakes up, lying on his back. "Ow...I'm assuming by the fact that I'm still breathing we won?" Turning his head, he starts a bit. "Dammit Slickjaw, how many times have I told you to stop staring at me while I'm sleepiOH MY GOD WHERE'S THE REST OF YOU?!" Leaping to his feat, he winces momentarily and surveys the carnage. "Slick's...dead, and oh god, your leg...wha...what happened?"

His gaze falls on Gortus and his minions and his eyes narrow. "Disarm and restrain them. Someone get Sandara some aid, she looks like she's going to drop any second now. I want a party sent on the other ship, make sure it's clear."

Swaying a bit, he retrieves a potion of cure light wounds and drinks it.

CLW: 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11

"Rosie, that was some damn fine shooting, with the ship weapons and whatever that boomstick of yours is. How'd the rest of the crew fare?"

Sandra's Channels patched her up and then some, actually.

"We didn't lose anybody important." Rosie says.

"Me an' Riza were getting torn up there towards the end but Sandra patched us up with that thing she just did."

Total casualties: 5 unnamed crewmen, but enough of Gortus' former crewmates are willing to defect that this need not be an issue.

BTW, a Potion of CLW only heals for 1d8+1. Caster level 1st, not 3rd.

Someone save that ring of swimming for my next char, he'll need it.

Total loot after disarming and searching everyone:

Gortus:

Belt of Giant's Strength +2
+1 Strange Killstreak Keen Falcata
Masterwork Armored Coat
+1 Heavy Shield

Minions:

3 Masterwork Armored Coats
1 Masterwork Scythe
1 Masterwork Greatsword
1 Masterwork Longsword

Ship:

Devil's Pallor (Shackles Drekhar, warship)
2 Light Ballistae
1 Ship Catapult
4 points of Plunder (2 points in vegetables and trade goods, presumably from the ship they sacked earlier, 2 points in armor and weaponry).

Jrahk crawls toward the wreckage of the railing and grabs a stray piece of wood. With some pain and difficulty, he manages to bind it to his stump as a makeshift peg-leg.

"Keep Gortus alive. Want him to suffer for what he did to me and Slickjaw."

He hobbles over to Slick's beheaded corpse and loots it, making sure to grab his amulet of natural armor, mask of stony demeanor, and ring of swimming.

Also, you guys should remember your Impositions. A couple of which could have helped with this fight a bit (Captain's Orders! and Get Up, You Dogs! in particular).

Well Jrahk, you could probably use the Falcata pretty well if you wanted. Same with the belt, really.

"So. Gortus. What should we do with him?"

So far.

Well Jrahk, you could probably use the Falcata pretty well if you wanted. Same with the belt, really.

"So. Gortus. What should we do with him?"

Unless he wants to take a -4 for not being proficient in an Exotic weapon he's better off sticking with Mr. Falchion.

ONE-HANDED WEAPONS ARE FOR WEAK LITTLE NERDS

But yeah I'll definitely take that belt.

Whoops, my bad-I always get the two mixed up...

"Good fight, guys"

"I guess we should head ashore and sell this for gold, and get some armor plating like those guys did."

"Or do you just want to use their ship instead?"

So, a few orders of bidness.

1.) Dual's new character. We've been talking, and decided it'd be feasible if he were one of Gortus' prisoners on board the ship. So if nobody sees any reason why you wouldn't be recruiting prisoners and defectors, he can go ahead and introduce himself.

There are a small number of prisoners on the ship, enough to replenish your crew losses from volunteers, and one in particular stands out, who claims to be a powerful Wizard. You could make good use of him, if you were so inclined.

2.) You guys seem to be holding out for one big huge item you really want. It's starting to hurt you. You don't have, between you, many other necessaries (Belt/Headband of X stat +2, Cloaks of Resistance, Rings of Protection/Amulets of Natural Armor, etc.). While you don't HAVE to buy these things, I strongly suggest you start planning towards them.

3.) The Devil's Pallor is a LOT better than your current ship. It is a Warship, as opposed to your repurposed merchant vessel. It can hold a crew of triple the size (60), and 3 times the cargo (150 tons). With the armor plating its AC is 12 (versus your 2) and has 300 extra HP (1200). Looking at it, you shouldn't have been able to burn down its sails earlier...they have 800 HP. It has a ram which increases its ramming damage to 10d8 *versus your ship's 6d8 or a base warship's 8d8). It is bigger, by 20 squares (100 feet). And it's not dead in the water when its sails are down (it can be powered by rowing).

Unless you're super attached to the Fat Dragon, I suggest having the Pallor squibbed (or not, really, you killed its Captain) and using it isntead from a pure power perspective.

Yes. I'm 100% for going onto the Pallor. If you REALLY want to keep the Dragon you guys can go ahead, but I'm captaining the Pallor from now on.

Also, I didn't think we killed Gortus? Did we ever reach a consensus on what to do with him? As long as we ensure he doesn't slit our throats in the middle of the night, the guy could be of some use to us. With his crit luck, we can just throw him into the middle of combat somewhere and he'll come out fine.

Ah, yeah. My point is that he's not a problem.

"Hello. I understand that you are the captain of this ship... Cyrdic, was it?"

Hiding his grin behind his expressionless mask of stone, Ixrul bows low. "My name is Ixrul Morcrom. I am in possession of not inconsiderable arcane might."

With a slight exhaled hiss, Ixrul turns towards Slick's corpse. "Judging on the distinctly goblinoid craftsmanship of a fair portion of your magical gear, I would hazard a guess that he provided the services of a magical craftsman - those flasks say 'alchemist' to me."

"I would gladly provide my services to replace that of the poor, dead creature."

Bluff: 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (14) + 21 = 35

"Don't worry, you can trust me completely. All I want is knowledge, after all."

I know he's uncharismatic, but he's an insanely good liar as well.

"Nice to meet ya, Ixrul. We'd be glad to have you aboard. I gotta say though...we don't just straight up promote new people just because they say we should trust them completely. We lost a few gunners in the fight, so talk to Rosie, that halfling over there-you'll be reporting to her for ship-to-ship combat. Do well there and on our raids and you'll go far."

Patting Ixrul on the back, Cyrdic walks around the ship until he finds the person he was looking for. "Sandara, glad I found you. I'm promoting you to...whatever job Slickjaw had when he was with us. He always said he didn't want to be brought back when he died, something about a phobia of not coming back as a goblin or some racist s&&@ like that. You know how he was. Anyways, umm...well, I heard you saved our asses again. Especially Jrahk's. So...thanks. Dunno what we'd do without you here, honestly."

"Ho, fellow mage, nice to meet you, you can call me Ace"

"Um...sorry about your leg, Jrahk. Couldn't get it to go back on. What are you going to do about it? There's more powerful spellcasters than I who can grow stuff like that back, you know."

"Speaking of which, I'm feeling a mite peckish. If you're not using it any more...?"

By the way, I took Slickjaw's amulet of natural armor.

"Thanks Sandy, we owe you one."

@cyrdic: Jrahk already did.

"Ah, a fellow Mage...us. I see. Well, I shall do as you request, Captain Cyrdic, despite its violation of the norms for hiring highly-trained magic users."

"However, I expect a measure of respect from your men and from you. That is what I could expect hiring on to any ship, given my skill set."

He pauses to survey the ship. "And since I am not even remotely trained in the use of most weapons or armor, I can make up for it by providing... Extra assistance. If you could be so kind and provide 20 relatively whole corpses?"

"On second thought, I'll gather what I can now."

Ixrul proceeds to search through the holds, animating the first three corpses he can find via lesser animate dead after memorizing it three times via fast study.

He then uses the skeletons to help him carry another 17 corpses into the cargo hold of whatever ship will be used, to be reanimated over the next 6 days at the beginning of the day.

False focus saves me on material costs.

"What are you doing? making a skeleton crew? Hyuk hyuk hyuk" Ace laughs at his own stupid joke.

"No, but I should be able to soon."

Once he is done with reanimating the skeletons, he prepares and casts make whole four times to fix the Fat Dragon.

Repair: 20d6 ⇒ (2, 1, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 1, 3, 6, 2, 3, 1, 3, 3, 1) = 47

Assume he'll repeat this whenever possible. Statistically speaking, it will take 8 more castings - two days - to fix it, as it heals an average of 70 each time.

"Huh. Color me impressed. Ok Ixrul, guess maybe the guns aren't the best place for you. Consider yourself promoted. You'll get a bigger share of the loot, when we sell all of this stuff. Also..."

Cyrdic takes Ixrul aside. "You might've seen that Jrahk, that's the big Orc over there, he lost his leg in the battle. Slickjaw probably had something that could possibly preserve stuff like that in his lab. Would you mind poking around in there to see if you can do anything about that? Also, maybe retrieving Slickjaw's head and doing the same thing could be good too-we might be able to do something with that down the line. Cheers, mate. And nice job with the ship repairs, means a lot."

"Very well. Are you going to want it on this ship or the Pallor?"

"The Pallor. If you need, I can have some crewmembers assist you in moving the equipment."