Mogmurch burps and all the worms come back up, but he quickly gobbles them back down, clutching his prize.
"You lucky Mogmurch here! I find best weapon now!"
All four goblins are able to scrounge up clubs or staves, but Chuffy finds a small case that contains 7 darts and Reta discovers a pickle-barrel lid that is actually a light wooden shield. Choppy cutty weapons will have to wait!
You feast and rest and fight and awake the next morning to Loptop kicking each of you. "You maybe think you be tough because you got out of your
baby cage, whelps? Psht! You no be goblins. The only real goblins are Licktoads, and a Licktoad without a toad is just… lick. So. If you want be Licktoads, you need to catch a toad at Tadpole Bog and also not die. Then you take the toad to Cave of Darkfear and also not die. Then you show your toad to the Darkfear spirit, and maybe if you really are a goblin, then you also not die. Get toad. Show spirit. Kill anything that wants to stop you. Don’t die."
“That last part is very important.”
On the dirt floor she sketches a crude map, showing the way through the Tadpole Bog and to the Cave of DarkFear. With one last loving kick to the rear, she throws you out, to become goblins or die trying.
The occasional lazy bubble breaks the surface of this shallow, stinky pond, and a haze of insects clouds the air in every direction. Only the occasional gurp-chirp of toadsong breaks through the drone of bugs.
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Chuffy and his King are quite proud of all the darts they found hidden away during the feast Them big goblins not even see us! Not even one time! We so very sneaky King, we are. During their walk to the Tadpole Bog he spends much time bragging to Poog and Mogmurch about it. "If you like them so much then maybe I trade you one for something good. Got anyting worth our time? Hrmm?"
Seeing as Chuffy avoided the big goblins so well last night, he's going to try to be sneaky on the toads as well. He reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out his fat worm he's been saving for later then slowly wades into the bog with the worm hanging out of his mouth and his hands just under the water, waiting to lure over a toad to grab. "Here toady toad toad. Tasty wurm for you..."
Mogmurch surveys the bog with a big goblin grin. He has spent plenty of time in bogs! He knows how to pick his way through to a nice fat frog.
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Poog sees the others trying to be sneaky sneaky and decides to be more devious than just hiding behind stupid rocks like stoooopid Chuffy.
He takes out a square of burlap from his sack and sticks his piece of banana he had been saving for later on it and spears it with a stick in the mud.
While toads hop over to lick it, Poog can just nab it with his sack!
There is much splashing and muck-raking as the four intrepid goblins try to catch a toad. However Reta is the only one to catch her toad on the first go. However, Mogmurch manages to break through the hard bottom of the mucky swamp and discovers an un-looked-for treasure: the carcass of a goblin, still clutching his trusty dogslicer!
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Chuffy flips and flops in the mud with the others and becomes obviously a bit agitated seeing Reta catch a toad straight off and then Mogmurch nearly drown himself then come up with a stabby stabber! "Damn it King, we need to do better! Maybe if we catch a toad we can trade it to super smart Mogmurch for that dogslicer?"
Despite his grumblings and half-beggings, Chuffy continues his still and silent approach to try to catch a toad before he gets fed up and eats the worm himself.
"ARGGGH!" swears the positively pustular padawan. "Reta help us catch us some toads! We be great team, I give you some nice sharp darts to throw at Longshanks!"
Mogmurch steals the dogslicer from the dead goblin's clutches gleefully. Then he spots a juicy frog to creep up on.
Poog is able to catch a sturdy toad, who looks lovely and lickable. Mogmurch cradles his new-found dogslicer, but can't find any toads. Chuffy likewise can't find a toad, but appeals to Reta for help!
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Chuffy smiles his sharp pointy teeth when Reta agrees to help catch toads as he continues his relentless assault
"Argg one more time Reta ok? This frog look asleep, he should be easy!"
Chuffy continues his relentless toad assault
"We did it! Wooooo! Yes King we lick toad, just for you. Reta want lick too?" He gives it a large victory lick then lifts it up and offers it to Reta's tongue as well.
Chuffy manages to find a toad with Reta's help! He gives the fat toad a great big lick....
AND EVERYTHING GOES COLORY AND SPINNY AND HAPPY-GO-TURNY.
suddenlyretaisreallyreallytallthenreallyreallyshortandpoogismadeofpicklesbu tnotthekindyouwanttoeatright
Reta, whose fearsome visage helped scare that toad into capture, notices a strange pointy thing in the ground. When she pokes it, it turns out to be a rib from another goblin corpse! This one has a second dogslicer, a javelin, a grappling hook, an unholy symbol of Zarongel, two wooden spoons, two dead moles, and a jar of pickled fish heads. It's quite a find!
Mogmurch says, "You cheaters! You must all help Mogmurch catch frog now."
True to the their tribe, the Toadlickers spend the rest of the day licking their toads and rolling around the swamp having pleasant hallucinations. The morning sun awakens you and you remember you have to visit the Cave of DarkFear and deliver your toads before you'll be considered members of the tribe.
MAP! This link will now live in the header above the thread as well!
Heading toward the Cave, you come across a huge fallen tree blocking your path. Standing atop the tree is Kettlehead! He pulls himself up to his full height and pompously points at you. He cries, “Stupid baby wannabe goblins!” as a pair of other whelps from the cage— Culgick and Rempty — scramble up beside him. Kettlehead continues, waving a mean-looking dogslicer over his head. “You took toads from Kettlehead’s special pond, and now you have to pay my price. Give me all your toads! And say you be stupid!”
Mogmurch yells back, "Okay, I say it: you be stupid! Here's my toad! Catch!" Instead of the frog, he throws his explosive swamp gourd.
+1 splash damage to adjacent
Round 1:
Poog and Reta
Kettlehead and cronies
Chuffy and Mogmurch
Mogmurch gets the game started with an insult and a bomb! Kettlehead goes up in flames as his cronies get splashed! He screams in a high pitched voice like a tea kettle and waves his dogslicer as his cronies crackle out loud!
Kettlehead goes up like a candle dipped in gasoline. Between the bomb and the burning hands, he runs around screaming until he runs face first into a tree and falls!
Reta's mighty swing slashes just over the head of one of the cronies, but their obvious shock at their golden boy leader being so rapidly eradicated causes them to see their own deaths by slicing blade and they throw down their dogslicers and begin to loudly surrender, crying your praises and denouncing the dead Kettlehead!
Mogmurch pulls out his last gourd but refrains from throwing it. "Me be goblin! Me need fire for cave!"
The two hench-goblins scream in terror at the teeth and implied threat of bombing and race into the swamp. You give them even odds whether they survive to make it back to the Tribe...
Kettlehead's smoldering corpse reveals some treasures: Small shortbow in need of a bowstring, a quiver with seven arrows, a hard leather boot, a salt shaker, and five bottles whose labels feature the same smiling half-elf woman wearing a jester’s cap. For any goblin daring enough to be able to read, the label says “Magical Maggie’s Miracle Medicine; The Masterful Mixture for a Myriad of Maladies!”
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Chuffy is stumbling along when he thinks he saw some goblins on a log? And some fire and screaming? What a great dream that was! He heads over to check it out, tripping over something he reaches down to pick up a dogslicer? "Woah guys! Look what I found! I love these toads man!"
He slides the sword into his belt and licks the toad again for good measure. Its all coming to plan King! Weeeee!
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Chuffy puts his toad back into his pocket as his brain floods with all those funny bright lights and swirls of awesome. He picks up a bottle with the woman on it and stands looking at the picture, alternating one eye open and the other closed for a minute seeing her head dance and talk, hearing the jingling of bells as she does. "King Bubble claim himself a bottle of this funny stuff, and this... thing too!" He pronounces as he picks up the salt shaker, looking at it the same as he did the bottle.
He looks up and down the path, doing his best to figure out which direction they need to go, but mostly choosing based on the coolest looking flashy lights. "Onward to the scary place!" He says as he steps on Kettlehead's kettle with a crunch moving down the path.
In the shade of gray cypress trunks, a sagging human-made cave squats on the muddy ground, overgrown with swamp brambles and leaning precariously to one side.
This is the Cave of DarkFear. What are you doing?
Mogmurch declares, "Me want Miracle drink!"
Mogmurch clutches his dogslicer and enters the Cave. "Me big brave goblin!"
The interior is dark, but goblin darkvision pierces the gloom, revealing leaning and partially collapsed shelves, heaps of shattered pottery, a junk-strewn table, and rusting animal traps. A partially mummified but mostly skeletal human body slumps against one wall, a broken horsechopper impaled in the chest!
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Chuffy watches from behind the tree and doesn't see any blood nor any screams of pain followed by thuds in the mud, instead he hears singing. Not good singing, but singing none the less "HEY! Wait for me, Chuffy great great singer!" He rushes in to join in with his own chorus waving around his toad.
"Chuffy’s face might make you sick,
But Chuffy’s knife is awful quick.
And if you are his stabby pick—
The knife goes in you, STICK STICK STICK!"
Mogmurch holds up his toad and sings over the others:
"Mogmurch best goblin!
Mogmurch handsomest smartest goblin
Ever."
His song is neither melodic nor rhyming.
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"Poog say Zarongel is the best,
He help burn things and heal the rest.
Zarongel’s favor makes Poog blessed.
And Poog also stab you with knife if
you make fun of how he isn’t good at
riding animals."
Pooh lifts his toad off of his head and holds it up with beaming pride
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All four of you raise your toads and sing your sonds, but as Poog finishes, there is a sudden angry chattering from the corner and out leaps two massive raccoons, who look peeved at being disturbed from their slumber!
Round 1:
Mogmurch, Poog, Reta
Angry Raccoons!
Chuffy
With a snicker-snack! the raccoon is dispatched! The other one, looking to be in shock, hisses!
Mogmurch throws a stone at the racoon. "Go away stupid ugly bunny!"
The stone hits and bounces off the raccoon's nose, startling it, but not injuring it.
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Pooh produces his dogslicer and snarls bravely at the skeleton like Zarongel would.
-Posted with Wayfinder
Poog growls back at the raccoon, which looks increasingly disturbed by your inability to understand basic Raccooneese for GO AWAY. It gamely lunges at Chuffy!
for damage! However, the elusive Chuffy is having none of this and dances away!