We Be All Four Goblins! A PFS Goblining Adventure (Inactive)

Game Master James Martin

I propose the following adventure: Start with a PFS character with exactly 3 XP and play all 4 We Be Goblins straight through, beginning with We B4 Goblins, then We Be Goblins 1, 2 and 3. At the end the PFS character receiving the credit should have 7 XP and a lot of Goblin-chutzpah!

dotting

"You no take my rock! That's MY rock! Find your own rock to chew on booger face!" Chuffy goes back to chewing on the rock, either to sharpen the rock or his teeth... or neither?

dotting in...

Poog takes advantage of the distraction and hops aboard Chuffy's shoulders High ho whelp - to battle we ride!

"You too FAT, get OFF! You smoosh my zits all over you! AHAHAA!"

Once upon a time, in a very different place, there lived four goblins whose exploits were destined to become legend. Or perhaps cautionary tales...

You are goblins of the Licktoad Tribe. Or at least you will be someday. For now, though, you’re whelps—ravenous, amoral, grumpy goblin children who learned to stop eating rocks only a few months ago. But with every day that passes, your whelping cage seems smaller and smaller. The outside world increasingly beckons to your goblin curiosity (and appetite), but the hateful cage bars holds you at bay.

A few other whelps flourish in the cage, even as the smaller and weaker ones are thinned out. Kettlehead stands literally head and shoulders above the competition, being a goblin of impeccable flatulence and having already fashioned himself an impressive hat from a teapot left lying too close to the cages. Even adult goblins—legendary Chief Rendwattle Gutwad among them—have taken note of Kettlehead and his advanced skills of poking the rest of you with sticks and delivering bruise-inducing noogies.

But today is special. Today, instead of a bucket of fish heads, whelp-wrangler Loptop brought a key and unlocked the door to your cage, spilling you sorry lot into the world for the first time. Other Licktoads gather around, eyeballing you and chewing on the fish heads that should have been yours. “You all are too big for cages,” Loptop snorts. “But you’re not Licktoads yet. Licktoads gotta be useful. Licktoads gotta be tough! Licktoads gotta earn their places in the tribe. And that’s what you’re gonna do now! Show us where you belong, even if that ends being the boneyard!”

Reta looks around the other goblin whelps, looking for any promising allies. She rejects Kettlehead since he probably thinks he's too important. She turns to Poog and looks him over. "What you think we need to do to 'earn our place'?"

"Nuff talk! Line 'em up!" Loptop wades among the whelps, knocking you lot into a rough line. She walks along the line, sizing you up like a drill sergeant, while the rest of the tribe forms a spectator circle around you.

"You is all small and weak! Too weak to be Licktoads! But we is gonna see if maybe there is some goblins among you.... LONGSHANKS!" She sneers as she says the word of a hated and ridiculed foe. "First task you gotta go is Tie the Leash on the Lotsa-Legs!" She nods and at the far end of the open circle a goblin steps forward with a large basket, which he dumps unceremoniously on the ground. Out tumbles a spider the size of a goblin's head, all hairy legs and skitter. The crowd lets out a low gasp of awe.

Loptop grins evilly. She holds up a length of rope. "All you gotta do is tie this leash on that Lotsa-Legs. Who is gonna be brave enough to try?"

Chuffy saunters into line with the other whelps muttering to himself as Loptop gives her orders blah blah blah I wish I had some of them fish heads! "Well well King Bubble, thinks we can get it done? Maybe we can get us some fish heads if we do!"

Chuffy uses the opportunity of the game to 'accidentally' knock over that annoying whelpling that so rudely sat on him as he steps forward to volunteer Sleight of Hand (Scoozi!): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13 Trip (untrained)CMB Check: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (17) - 2 = 15 "Oops! Careful there Poog!" He smiles, stepping over Poor and waves his hand at Loptop "WE! errr I mean ME! Will tie up Legs, real gud!"

"Step up!" Loptop barks.

I need a CMB check, followed by a Dexterity roll!

Chuffy grins as King Bubble His large sore on his forehead drips yellowish puss down into his eye, as a reminder of who's really in charge. "Sorry King, owie it stings!"

Chuffy takes the short length of old yarn from Loptop and wipes his hands across King Bubble for some extra 'stickum' as he begins to circle the hairy beast. "EEEAAHHHH!" He cries as he leaps on top of the spider, trying to get a good grip CMB: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0 Is this the challenge where Chuffy gets the +2 CMB bonus? Dex Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21

A cloud of dust erupts and when it clears there's Chuffy, standing proudly with one leg up on top of the basket with a nice yellow yarn bow tied to it. Smiling and trying to wipe King Bubble ooze out of his eye. "I WIN I WIN!"

I hope it's ok I'm reusing this alias to limit bloat.

@Chuffy lol I'm guessing that was not a successful roll.

Mogmurch watches Chuffy attempt to catch the spider. "Hahaha you too stupid! Watch out! Mogmurch catch the spider."

CMB: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (1) - 3 = -2

Somehow Mogmurch manages to embarrass himself even worse than Chuffy! "You still stupider!"

"Stupid boys. Let me try."

Reta asks Loptop for a fresh piece of rope. She doesn't want to touch the rope that Chuffy got his goop on.

CMB: 1d20 ⇒ 4

dex check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Wow, we're having quite the string of CMB rolls! I must have used my good one up pushing Poog into the Muud.

Poog snarls at Chuffy but then laughs uproariously at his failed attempt to do this. "of course I Poog the great, will show you how to do this. After all a Lotsa-legs is NOTHING compared to a DOG and I fear no dog!"

Poogs spreads the mud on his whelp-face and grabs the lash.

CMB: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (3) - 3 = 0

Dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

There is a sudden pile of goblin limbs, bodies and flatulence, which resolves into a circle of goblin whelps, all arranged comically around the un-touched spider, who clacks his fangs a couple times to make sure they still work.

"You miss the Many-Legs! You might be goblin after all..." Loptop adds in an awed voice.

Try again?

Reta bites her lip hard enough that a drop of blood stands out on it. She is _not_ going to be shown up by a bunch of boys! She throws the rope at the spider again.

CMB: 1d20 ⇒ 12
dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

I don't know if that succeeded, but at least it's a 'respectable' failure.

Chuffy thinking he'd won the game already is pretty stunned when Loptop confirms he hasn't. "What? Really? Great knot though!" "King we needs help, big fat girl whelp look strong, we help her and win prize!"

Seeing Reta make another try, and one that may just work, Chuffy jumps in to help in hopes to claim part of the prize. "EEEAAAH!" As he leaps onto Many Legs CMB Assist: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (6) - 2 = 4 and Dex Assist: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

Reta manages to grab the spider, but her leashing skills leave something to be desired as it wriggles free! Chuffy tries to "help" but all he succeeds in doing is leaping upon Reta's large head and riding it like a rodeo bull.

"Reta you lost it! Even after we helped! No fish heads for YOU!" He kicks at the dirt and heads back to the line of whelps throwing a devious stare at any who are smaller and weaker than he (its a short list..) I should stab someone with my rock, that be good...

Reta glares back at Chuffy. "Stupid-head! I would have had it if you hadn't jumped on me!"

"Zarongel would have not missed like yoo, dum Reta. You have rocks for fingers! "

Poog gets his self back and aims to leash once more, this time with feeling!

CMB; then dex: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (6) - 3 = 31d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18

-Posted with Wayfinder

Mogmurch laughs at all the others stuggling. "Mogmurch just pretending to stupid. You all stupid for real."

cmb: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (3) - 3 = 0

"Stupid spider! Burn!" He pulls out one of his bombs, getting ready to throw it.

Once again there is a pile of goblin whelps and once again, the spider sits alone in the mess, looking increasingly embarrassed for the whelps!

Last chance to redeem!

Don't know if you saw my extra bit added on above. Too slow with the edit. :D

Mogmurch launches his swamp gourd at the spider. "BURN BURN BURN!"

This functions as alchemist's fire.

ranged: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
damage: 1d6 ⇒ 4

"Mogmurch too stupid to follow rules!"

Reta grabs for the spider again.
CMB: 1d20 ⇒ 6

The bomb explodes just beside the spider, burning it with a splash of fire. It shrieks and hunkers down to make one great escape leap!

Last chance to grab!

Chuffy's face gets all tense as he slowly puts down his stabby rock that was headed for another whelp with a big nose and small ears. "FINE! I catch dem Legs show rest of you how great we are!" He runs and leaps for Many Legs with rope in his teeth. CMB and Dex: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (19) - 2 = 171d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

"We WINS We WINS King!"

Poog rubs his hands together.

The great hero god he so admired would have waited until the most dramatic moment to succeed too....

Poog got ready to pounce.

And INSANELY jealous of Chuffy actually suceeding, lashes at Chuffy instead, hoping to tie him up!

CMB and Dex: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (16) - 3 = 131d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Mogmurch gloats. "I caught him with my bomb!"

Heh finally someone passed! lol

This round is a mess, as Mogmurch's fire explodes and goblin whelps fly every which way as spectators hoot and cheer. In the end, Chuffy stands beside the trussed spider, holding its leash and looking proud.

Loptop lets out a dramatic sigh and steps toward Chuffy. "You is goblin. Maybe you is slooooow goblin, but you is goblin. You winna prize!" She holds out a torn and faded badge upon which is embroidered a boar. Benefit: Following a successful attack roll against a creature of the animal type, the user of this Licktoad badge increases her damage from that attack by +1d6 points. This extra damage is not doubled on a critical hit. The user can decide to activate this badge after rolling the regular damage for the attack.

Seeing the crowd getting restless, Loptop lets out a bloodcurdling whoop that silences everyone! "No, next test! You am good goblins for tying up Many-Legs, but good goblins am also good at making tribe happy with pain! This is test of Happy Beat! You gotta hurt yourself in creative way to make tribe laugh!" You can roll a DC 15 Bluff or Charisma check to hurt yourself in a really spectacular fashion, dealing 1d3 points of non-lethal damage to yourselves for the amusement of the tribe. Best injury-performance wins and you can add the amount of damage you do to yourself as a bonus on your Bluff or Charisma roll!

Mogmurch jumps up high and lands hard onto the patch of alchemical fire still smouldering from his bomb, rolling around in it.

nonlethal: 1d3 ⇒ 1

Cha+self damage+Special Challenge talent: 1d20 - 1 + 1 + 2 ⇒ (10) - 1 + 1 + 2 = 12

Chuffy accepts his badge with a smile and steps back away from others to admire it while the other whelps go about hurting themselves. "That kinda funny, be more funny if you eat sum fire too." We dun good King, lets rest up and let them dum ones get hurt.

Poog takes a handful of dirt out of his bag, and Tosses it into his own eyes and scrambles around like a mad gob!

Nonlethal: 1d3 ⇒ 1

Cha+selfdamage: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 1 = 13

Reta walks over to Chuffy, grabs him by the ears, throws him in the air, and sits under where he will land.

nonlethal damage: 1d3 ⇒ 2

cha check: 1d20 - 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (10) - 2 + 2 + 2 = 12 applying circumstance bonus for the second +2

Chuffy never sees her coming, too busy admiring his new badge, and trying to figure out how to attach it. "Hey them's MY ears! EEAAAAHHH!" After he lands he does his best to dismount gracefully off of Reta's fat self Acrobatics: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16

"You guys real bad, so bad. Want King Bubble to be your manager?"

Despite Reta's Chuffy-batics and Mogmurch's attempts to burn himself for humor, it's Poog's mad scramble that wows the crowd, leaving them laughing and slapping the ground in appreciation!

"You might be a goblin, too. You wins the Hurtin' Badge!" Loptop holds aloft a broken rusty caltrop, which she stabs into Poog's chest!

Benefit: The user of this Licktoad badge gains DR 5/− against a single attack, and is hurled 5 feet away from his attacker in a direction he chooses, landing on his feet. The user can activate this badge after he is hit, but before damage is rolled.

Loptop turns to the crowd. "Next up is Hurtingful Words! Bring out the bucket of hotten stones!" Another goblin hauls out a metal bucket in which rests four glowing stones, steam rising off them. "You gotta out a stone in your mouth and make bad words at each other! Best words without spitting out the stone wins!"

Make a DC 8 Fort Save to keep the stone in and an DC 14 Intelligence check to make some pretty nasty words! You can try multiple times, but the Fort save rises by 1 each round. If you fail, you automatically spit out the stone before it can deal lethal damage to you!

Chuffy whispers to himself "King we should do this, we great at calling people dum!" He heads over to the bucket and grabs a rock and stuffs it into his mouth. Fort Save: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

His eyes immediately go cross ways and his lip curls and the stone falls out, back into the bucket. "I so sorry King! Soo HOT! He then proceeds to stuff dirt in his mouth to quench the burning.

"Mogmurch love tasty hot rocks! Tastes like horse!"

fort: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11

"Thee?" he says around the rock. Then he starts cursing the other goblins out ferociously but those words are less intelligible.

int: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15

Reta grabs a hot stone and puts in into her mouth.

fort save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Reta spits out her stone, which lands near Chuffy's feet.

Poog sticks the hot rock in his mouth

fort save: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (16) + 0 = 16

"You is the son of a dog and a horse Mogmurch, you so ugly even mother tried to bury whelp"

Int +2 for challenge bonus: 1d20 - 1 + 2 ⇒ (7) - 1 + 2 = 8

Reta spits out her stone, which lands near Chuffy's feet.

Chuffy looks up from his dirt pile, mouth half open with dirt falling out, he nods "Very hot huh. Want some dirt Reta? Kinda taste like feet..."

There is much disappointed noises as Reta and Chuffy spit out the stones, and while Poog's insults sound good, Mogmurch's insults are positively educating!

Loptop slaps him on the back, knocking out the hot rock and holds up his arm. "You is full of fire and nasty! We make a goblin of you yet!" She awards Mogmurch a half exploded firework, which she sticks to his head with a piece of sap.

Benefit: The user of this Licktoad badge can call forth a stream of blistering invectives against a single creature with an Intelligence score of 3 or higher within 30 feet. This allows the user to attempt an Intimidate check to demoralize that creature with a +5 circumstance bonus on the roll. If the user’s check exceeds the target DC by 5 or more, her target is staggered for 1 round instead of shaken. This is a mind-affecting effect.

"Last test! Goblins need good teeth for chomping and crunching pickleses and bones! Let the test of Squirmtongue begin!" Loptop leads you to a patch of wet earth where worms squirm just below the surface. Using only your teeth, you are to bite a bunch of mud, use your teeth to filter out the worms and spit out the muck! The one who finds the most worms while eating the least dirt wins! You need a DC 12 Perception check to find a worm, followed by a DC 14 Reflex save to keep the worm and spit out the muck. Three fails on the Reflex means you ate too much muck and you're out. Winner is the one who finds the most worms before 3 failed Reflex saves!

Chuffy's mouth hangs open and the rest of the dirt falls out "Me LOVE eating wurms AND dirt! We gonna get so many King, you be full of wurms!" Chuffy heads to the wet dirt pile and stuffs his face into the mud, coming up with a giant mouthful. His tongue wiggles and wriggles as he hunts for the wurms.

Perception/Reflex: 1d20 ⇒ 101d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9 "Where they at King?"

Perception/Reflex: 1d20 ⇒ 11d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12 "Dis mud taste like booger"

Perception/Reflex: 1d20 ⇒ 131d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9 "OOO! Ack! Mud."

Perception/Reflex: 1d20 ⇒ 141d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4 "OOO! Blurg! Mud."

Perception/Reflex: 1d20 ⇒ 151d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10 "OOO! Crap! Mud. Me gonna be sick, gotta stop."

Wow, really crapped out on those reflex saves, not even 1 worm!

Mogmurch is eager to gobble up some tasty worms to wash down his hot rock which of course he swallowed.

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15

UHHH do i need to go on? I just used every good roll for the next month here.

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

So far I'm at 6 worms and only one fail. If anyone else can match that I will continue rolling at that point. :D

Reta walks over to the pile of mud and starts looking for worms.

perc 1: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21
ref 1: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16 worm 1
perc 2: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
ref 2: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20 worm 2
perc 3: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
ref 3: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9 failed save
perc 4: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
ref 4: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22 worm 3
perc 5: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24
ref 5: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21 worm 4
perc 6: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25
ref 6: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8 failed save
perc 7: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
ref 7: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13 failed save

So Reta finds 4 worms. If she still gets credit for the worm if she misses the save, then she found 7 worms.

Zarongel refused to eat mudworms and so does Poog Poog says sitting down and admiring his badge wound.

Goblins faces dive into the mud, coming up with mouthfuls of muck while the spectators howl with laughter and jeers. Poog refuses to join in, leading some of the goblins watching to boo and hiss as he admires his badge wound.

However, in a matter of moments it becomes readily apparent that Mogmurch is heads and tails above the rest! Loptop hauls him up from a mouthful of mud, only to watch worms wriggle frantically in his mouth. She slaps him on the back, making him splutter out the worms and cough a few times. "You are winner!" She pulls a desiccated snake's head from her pocket and thrusts it at Mogmurch.

Benefit: The user of this Licktoad badge can reroll a single saving throw he just failed, but he immediately falls prone.

"Maybe you is goblins, after all! But there am one final test you am gonna be taking: the Test of Being Useful Goblins Who Are Not Bad Luck For The Tribe! You is to go to the Cave of DarkDarkFear and take a toad with you. There you is to lay your toad at the feet of the Skelly-ton of Dark Dark Fear! If you lives, you might be goblins. If you dies, you definitely isn't goblin!" Loptop slaps you each on the back and nods. "You leave tomorrow when light is up. Now we eat!"

A goblin's feast will take place tonight, but in the meantime you have a night to heal and an opportunity to scrounge around for weapons. If you're searching, roll a Perception check!

Seeing who the accomplished whelps are in the group now, Chuffy heads out eager to explore the camp sounds and smells he's heard for so long in his cage. "Lots of neat things to find King, maybe something yummy! And maybe something sharp to poke people with! And maybe something pretty to wear on our heads!"

He proceeds to search around camp, doing his best to stay hidden from the mean adult goblins. Perception: 1d20 ⇒ 18Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (2) + 15 = 17