Rather more bluntly, Shadlah asks, "What is going on here?" her brow furrowed and craggy.
Glancing down at the corpse which remains Ziomarra, Teldon flatly offers, ”most likely an illusion of some sort.”
After considering Zee’s suggestion for a moment he continues, ”leaving it here is completely impractical. We would have to journey all the way back here to retrieve it when we were ready to get you back into it; and, who knows who or what may move in here in the meanwhile, or what they might do to your body... No, we should definitely bring it with us now.”
Zee’s acting unusual... I wonder how much influence Sorshen’s body has on her... a clone is an empty vessel for its creator’s soul, but it’s made of its creator’s flesh, there must be some imprint left on it... and, now Zee’s soul is sitting uncomfortably in that imprint... the two must be waring away at each other until they fit, but how much will she change before that comes to pass... she certainly shouldn’t be anywhere near Sorshen’s shard while she’s in that body, it will only serve to swing the balance of change against her...”
Joanna looks up into the gloom, then back down at the others before making up her mind.
"Halli, keep an eye on Zee for me, will you?"
Rowr.
"Just nudge Teldon if you think she's being odd."
Ruff.
"Whaddya mean we all act odd to you?! Never mind. Stupid question. Just get Teldon if she starts acting like a dog in heat."
Ruruff.
Shaking her head, she continues up the rope as Halli watches Zee, wondering what her human thought she could do if things got weird.
At Bri's comnents, Zee suddenly looks at herself, and traces the tattoos that re-appeared on her hands. "How did..." and then her apoearance shifts back to that of Sorshen. "Wait..." She shifts back to her former appearance. She then examines herself through her Harrow-lens and nods knowingly.
"Yes, Teldon, it is an illusion, and I can control it. My grandmother could take on the appearance of others. I didn't know I had inherited that gift, too."
After a pause, she adds, "And I do wish to return to my true self, if possible." Sorshen's voice echoes in her mind, You do not!! My body is perfect!
Zee's fingers stroke the shard of lust that hangs around her neck. "And you are right about practicality, too. After we lost Nalathi, I learned a spell to keep her body from rotting. I can use it again. When we get back to the ship, I will hire the carpenter to build a casket."
Zee looks away from her own corpse, inhales sharply and asks, "So... with what shall we build a litter?"
Jo stops part of the way up the rope and looks back to the others.
"Is there anything down here to use? We could probably scrounge some stuff, but I'm willing to bet that we'd be better off getting what we need from outside and coming back."
Teldon holds up a pile of neatly folded sheets and the pieces of bedframe he had strangely been carrying since backtracking through the (other) impostor Sorshen's chamber. "I have supplies for a stretcher here," he calls up to Jo, "I thought it best to wait to assemble it until we were done with this manner of climbing."
Or Teldon could prove that he's smarter than me again, Joanna chuckles.
With a decision reached on how to proceed, Jo finishes scurrying back up the rope while the rest of the group prepare to follow behind her. She emerges back into the chamber of worked stone, with walls made of blue-veined white marble...and the ceiling supported by columns masterfully sculpted to depict voluptuous warrior women wielding two-headed guisarmes. As soon as Jo pulls herself up through the hole, the statues begin to move just as they had done when the group passed through all those days ago...
...
....
.....
...but luckily Jo and everyone else remembers that Teldon pulled a little trick when this happened before. Even better(?), the group now has their very own Sorshen clone in the flesh and so it's not too difficult to get the caryatid columns to back off again - though it's a tense few moments for Jo until Zee and the rest of the group can ascend the rope!
Once everyone has safely ascended back into the chamber above it's a simple enough matter for Teldon to rig up a proper litter using the supplies he'd scavenged. It isn't long at all before the group is able to set off back through the tunnels towards the east, Zee's body borne along almost as though the group is conducting a funeral procession. The journey back through the tunnels is by no means a short one but it is blessedly uneventful - this time, nothing comes scuttling out to hamper the group's progress.
After trekking back towards the east for about two miles or more, you finally emerge back into the section of caverns and tunnels that the troglodytes call home. Two of them happen to be standing guard as the group comes stumbling out and their eyes widen with surprise and excitement.
"你回來了! 發生了什麼？ 你殺了鐵女人了嗎?" one of them asks.
"You back! What happened? Did you kill the Iron Women?"
______________
Zee nods at the troglodytes, and replies,
"我們殺死了許多鐵女。少數人仍然存在，我們與他們和平相處。他們可能會在幾天后跟進，但如果你給他們安全通行，他們就不會對你發動戰爭。"
Joanna can't help but feel a little uneasy at not knowing anything being said, but seeing as the two guards were not attacking, she decided to focus on calming herself.
Whatever happened to Mr. Kandamerus? We haven't seen any sign of him since we left.
...At least until she begins wondering about where their guide had gotten off to.
Halli, though, eyes the two troglodytes with naked wariness as she stays close to Joanna.
Arsith just wait and see, her body still tired and aching, her heart sad and heavy with all the expériences Inside the realms of Lust Sorceress.
She listens to the Strange sounds of the Draconic tongue, wondering what new challenges they will have to face, what unusual creatures they will have to fight or talk to.
Not understanding the conversation, Shadlah simply watches, impassive yet alert for any sign of trouble.
Turning back to her friends, Zee says, "They were surprised to see us again, and asked if we'd slain the Gray Maidens. I said we'd killed most of them, and accepted the surrender of the rest. I also told them that the reamininag Maidens would probably be following us in a few days, and asked if they would give the Maidens safe passage if they ask for it."
Zee switches back into Draconic and asks the Troglodytes permission to pass through their caves and back to the surface world.
"Hey Zee! Can you ask them if they've seen Mr. Kandamerus? We didn't see him on the way here and I'm worried about him."
"Oh! With all we'd seen beneath my... um... the Lady's Light, I'd nearly forgotten about him!"
Switching back to Draconic, she asks the troglodytes whether they had seen or heard of their semi-lucid guide.
Joanna manages not to frown at Zee's slip of the tongue, but as soon as the Harrower's attention is back on the door guards, she gives the others a worried look.
Shadlah only offers Joanna two slightly raised eyebrows and a shrug, not certain of whatever magic might be at play.
When Zee steps forward to address the two troglodyte guards their eyes grow wide and they quickly drop into kneeling positions in front of her, gazing up with expressions of awe. They both immediately begin jabbering away in reply.
"石头的女人！你救了我们铁娘子!"
"救了我们所有人，是的！你和水上的光滑皮肤!"
"是的，对你来说，我们会让最后的铁女通过!"
"但他们不能留下来，他们必须离开！没有更多的帮助青蛙!"
After a moment or two they begin to calm down and when Zee inquires as to whether they've seen Jasper or not, they nod.
"奇怪的是，那个笨蛋，他回来了......两个，三个月前？我们让他通过，因为他与水面上的其他光滑皮肤一起来了," one of the trogs explains. Then, he - or is it she? - shivers. "也许他去了旧的小屋？"
"Woman of Stone! You saved us from the Iron Women!"
"Saved us all, yes! You and the smoothskins that came on the water!"
"Yes, for you, we'll let the last of the Iron Women pass!"
"But they can't stay, they have to leave! No more helping the frogs!"
"The strange one, the mumbler, he came back through...two, three moons ago? We let him pass because he came with the other smoothskins from across the water."
"Maybe he went to the old one's hut?"
______________
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Zee seems taken aback at the troglodytes' sudden shows of obiescence.
Looking back at her friends, she translates, "They are thanking us for defeating the Gray Maidens, and said that they will let Oriana and her few remaining allies to pass through, as long as they promise not to help their enemies the boggards any more. And they also said that Kandamerus wandered by a few days ago with oother humans. They think he went to Maroux' house."
After a pause, she adds, "I think we should go there first. And if she offers... perhaps let's not try the stew."
"Oh no, I'm cooking this time," Joanna says with a look that speaks volumes about how she would react if someone suggested that they should let Maroux cook for them.
Then her expression turns into one of worry as she realizes what Zee had said.
"There were others?"
With the remaining trogs all too happy to let you pass, it's an easy enough matter to maneuver your way back through the tunnels they call their home and out into the open at long last. After so much time spent underground and within the Lady's Light the midday sun seems positively dazzling and it takes everyone a few moments for their eyes to readjust to the light. When they do, you're able to take a look around; everything seems just as you left it and it seems hard to believe that you were ever inside the Lady's Light for as long as you were.
The group trudges along, making their way back toward Maroux's shack. As before, a plume of smoke wafts from the chimney and a deeply unpleasant smell pervades the area - likely more of her 'delicious' stew. On a slightly more cheery note, you see Jasper Kandamerus sitting rather forlornly on the small bridge that leads out to the islet where Maroux makes her home. He looks up at the sound of your approaching footsteps; his eyes widen with surprise and shock at the sight of 'Sorshen' striding towards him with the rest of the group in tow.
"The Lady herself!" he exclaims, a wild look in his eyes. "O unwise generation, ye labor for naught! Abandon thy plow and heed the tolling of Oblivion’s bell!"
Perhaps you've caught Jasper during one of his 'moments' or maybe the sight of Zee's new form has sent his mind spiraling out of control again. Either way, it looks like you might want to try calming him down before-
"Would you quit that 'the end is nigh' nonsense!?" calls the shrill voice of Maroux from within her hut. "I've half a mind to put that tongue of yours into my stew!"
_____________
"Mr. Kandamerus, please do not antagonize our host," Joanna asks while Halli shies away from the wild man. "Despite appearances, this is Ziomarra. There were, ah, some rather fantastic events that lead to her winding up looking like Sorshen. I think we have a little longer before Oblivion's bell starts tolling."
Taking charge of the situation, Joanna squeezes past Jasper with Halli not far behind. She walks up to the door of Maroux's hut and knocks on the frame.
"Hello, Maroux. I hope we haven't caused too much trouble for you."
"Aaaand I believe I owe you a meal," Joanna adds as the silence stretches uncomfortably long.
"Indeed... It may be hard to understand, but I am Ziomarra in Sorshen's form. It is good to see the both of you again. How have you been faring these past few days?"
Teldon sets down his end of the litter and breaks his thoughtful silence. ”The end may still be near, Jasper, but no nearer than it was before you saw us... She speaks the truth, this is not the lady of Lust but our friend Ziomara trapped in another body.”
at least, she is for now... we really need to figure out how to get the Lust shard from her before she gets worse...
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We hope to find a way to give Miss Z her own body back, of course, as soon as possible. Even if that one isn't too bad looking...ooops. Sorry Miss Z. Your own, old..errr... I mean your habitual body has nothing wrong. You're a beautiful woman. Whatever body you are in.
How could it be worse? Silly girl! And don't oogle at her like that. What's next, drooling?
Arsith fights a lost cause trying to regain her composure.
Jasper continues to stare at 'Sorshen', wild-eyed, but Teldon's calm and reasoned words finally seem to get through to him and the vague, clouded look in his eyes disappears...for now.
"One of...one of you, wearing Sorshen's face..." Jasper repeats, shaking his head. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised given the stories of what the Runelords were able to accomplish, but...how?" he asks, staring at Zee with a mixture of wonder and maybe even a little pity.
Meanwhile, the door to Maroux's hut rattles and opens, revealing the aged half-orc woman looking just as ill-tempered as ever. "So, you made it back did you? And with quite the tale to tell from the sounds of it," she says, jerking her head at Zee. She pauses, then adds in a slightly grudging tone, "I s'pose it's a tale I wouldn't mind hearing...while you work on that meal you were talking about."
"But Kandamerus stays outside! I don't care if he's lucid now, I'm not gonna have another meal ruined by his ranting and raving," Maroux continues with a scowl at the addled Jasper.
"S'fine, you'd probably try to poison me with that stew of yours anyway..." Jasper grumbles to himself.
Joanna gets to work fixing supper while the others relay their tale. It only takes a few minutes for Joanna to realize one of the reasons Maroux's cooking was so terrible.
"No salt? How can she not have salt," she mutters as she rummages around the kitchen, "She lives right next to a bloody ocean!"
Nor does she have much luck finding anything else she could use in or around the hut. Without many options, she fixes a tasteless porridge of oats and barley from her trail rations and tries to give it some flavor with some of the dried meat. She gives the others an apologetic look before taking a bowl outside to Jasper.
"Here," she says as she hands him the bowl after finding him grumbling about poisoned soup and how it presaged the coming of some unspeakable horror from beyond the veil. "Figured it wasn't fair for you to not get something to eat too."
Teldon sits down rather optimistically, knowing that Jo was cooking instead of their host. Looking forward to eating something other than dried rations, he scoops up a big spoonful of the porridge and shovels it into his mouth. When the tasteless gloop sticks to the inside of his mouth he grimaces with disappointment.
Remembering his manners, the erudite adventurer quickly affects a small smile and offers, ”Thank you, Jo.”
Joanna raises an eyebrow at Teldon's reaction to her cooking after she returns from giving Jasper his share. Thinking it couldn't be that bad, she takes a bite herself and stiffens in the chair as the utter blandness hits her tongue. The color drains from her face as she realizes that she'd almost rather have Maroux's stew. She swallows the gloop and gives Teldon a weak smile.
"D-don't mention it," she replies softly.
If there is a god of cooking, I'm sure he is cursing my very name right now.
It is quite a long story. We faced many dangers, made strange encounters, fought many foes, nearly died sometimes-and Miss Zee wasn't so lucky-made some unlikely alliances... A tale better told by a bard after a few drinks, because you won't believe me if I tried. There were troglodytes, Hellknights, devils, traps, both mechanical and magical..
Zee politely tries a bite of Jo's porridge and manages her best not to make an expression of distaste. "Well... I've had worse!"
Zee nods at Arsith's mention of an unlucky alliance.
"As for why I now walking around in Sorshen's form... After we found passage to the Thassilonian crypts beneath the Lady's Light, we came across a sarcophagus containing this body," she gestures toward herself, "still warm, but inanimate. I believe that Sorshen herself crafted this body as a clone— a second body for her soul to inhabit if something happened to her. That is powerful magic, reserved only for the most mighty of wizards. While we were examining the sarcophagus, I tripped one of its magical safeguards, and it cursed me with a phantasmagoria intended to frighten a graverobber to death. And it almost worked. I recovered. We decided to leave the body alone lest another curse befall us, so we put the lid back on the sarcophagus and continued to explore.
"Later, we encountered another traveler in the crypts: One who was ensorcelled by the 'Sorshen' you had seen wandering the grounds of this isle. We broke his enchantment, and he allied with us for a time. Alas, the enchantment was stronger that we'd bargained: We hadnt' actually broken it, but merely supressed it for a while. While we fought a group of demons, our erstwhile ally turned on us, and stabbed me in the back. I fell for real that time.
"And the next thing I knew, I was laid in a tomb, sealed in a stone coffin. Yet, the coffin suddenly stood on its end and the lid fell away, and I stepped out. I realized that I was back in the crypt that housed the sarcophagus that held Sorshen's clone... and that I was in that clone body! I think that, somehow, over the aeons, the magic of the curse somehow melded with the magic of the clone, and that when I... died... my sould went into this clone. And here I am now, walking around in Sorshen's body.
"I must say, I am still getting used to it..." She looks at the floor, and her voice lowers. "... yet some shard of Sorshen's soul is still with me. She whispers to me..."
But she then looks up, her composure returning. "As for that 'Sorshen' you have seen: She will not be returning. It seems that she was in reality another demon who had taken Sorshen's form, who had gone a bit mad. I think she had come to believe that she was Sorshen. In any event... the demon is dead now. The Lady's Light should contiue to shine, but its crypts are, for now, empty of inhabitants."
Zee politely tries a bite of Jo's porridge and manages her best not to make an expression of distaste. "Well... I've had worse!"
Yeah, Maroux's cooking, Joanna keeps to herself while muttering a polite thank you for the faint praise.
Shadlah stares at the gluey substance clinging to her upside-down spoon and slowly puts it in her mouth. It's not the worst meal she's had, but it's close.
"It has been harrowing," is all she says.
Ziomarra's observation that the demon who had taken Sorshen's form is slain and her explanation as to why she now inhabits the body is hardly questioned by the witch, "There are stranger things beneath the sun and the stars than you standing here before me in this guise... I have no cause to doubt what you say is true and, if it troubles you not, then I say go forth into the world as you now are..."
The smell from Jo's porridge, if it can truly be called that, fills Maroux's hut... it is cloying, strangely acrid and showing no sign of dispersing. Yet, for all that, Maroux tucks into the gloop with some enthusiasm, "Oats!!! Oats!!! It has been an age since I tasted these", wistfully she continues, "...it must be many seasons ago that such a thing washed up on the rocks here. The sea occasionally offers up cargos and goods intended for the cities... speaking of which, what are your plans now? You will return to your homes... and leave us alone to find a new balance without the Lady of the Light tipping the scales to her needs?" The question isn't forceful nor would it seem to imply that Maroux wants the group gone - it's more that she sees little reason for the adventurers to be here anymore...
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Joanna lets out a quiet breath she hadn't realized she was holding when Maroux all but confirmed her sense of taste was as good as gone. The question catches the young paladin off guard, but her surprise soon changes into a melancholic listlessness.
"Maybe," she says quietly after Briana smiles at her. She returns the grin with a wan smile of her own, "I guess we should also secure a safe passage for any follow-up expeditions, probably with the xulgath, and then leave when the Wanton Ways comes back to pick us up. After we arrive in Magnimar, I hope we'll have some time to recover from our delve into the Lady's Light, but..."
She gives a shrug, unsure of what, if anything, she should say.
Joanna leaves Maroux's hut not long after finishing her bowl of "porridge" with another bowl for Jasper. She hands it to him with an apology before going off to a flat place free of roots and divets in the ground, but still close enough to be in the protective light from the windows. She sits on her heels to scratch behind Halli's ears as the wolf lays on the short, scrubby grass that grew in the sandy soil here at the coast.
"We made it," Joanna softly told her friend. "We're battered and bruised, but we made it."
Halli lifted her head up to look at Joanna as the young woman's voice cracks. She sits up and nuzzles the paladin's neck as the tension from the past several days is finally released. Time passes without measure in that moment. Joanna sobs and weeps as it finally sinks in that their small battered and harrowed group is free from the Lady's Light, that they'd made it out without anyone dying.
The sun has fully set by the time Joanna's emotions are spent and the tension relieved. As the stars come out one by one, she finds her eyes drawn skyward. Halli lays back down and watches as Joanna begins to dance. The steps were not of the high society waltzes, but those that she'd seen Zee dance that morning after she'd been killed to come back in Sorshen's body. She followed the stars, going from one to the next in a spiraling turn that flowed like wind and water.
Her breathing is hard as she finishes. Her arms are held out as she stands in the center of the pattern her feet have unknowingly traced. She closes her eyes and feels at peace. There is still much to do. She has to get help for Halli to cure whatever has infected the young pup's mind. Four of the shards are still out there. Her stepmother still searches for her. Her sisters are still captive, prisoners in all but name.
"The road is not easy," Joanna says as she remembers the dream from what feels like so long ago, "but my goddess is there to help me. We'll be alright, Halli. We'll be alright."
During the wait for the Wanton Ways, Joanna pulls both of you aside one morning and finds someplace private to talk not too far from where they were camping.
"Briana, Arsith," she begins, looking even younger than she usually does as she rubs one arm just above her elbow, "I know that that I really shouldn't involve you in my problems, but... but could you help me with something when we get back to Magnimar?"
The silence lingers for a moment as Joanna forces herself to look both of you in the eyes. It's clear this is hard for her, that she's scared despite all she's gone through and survived.
"I want to rescue my sisters, get them out from under Mother Dearest's thumb. I have an idea, but I need help to pull it off. I... I can't do it on my own," she admits as she looks away, bowing her head.
"Please, help me with this. I know it's a selfish thing to ask, but..." she begs as her voice trails off. She stands there waiting for your reply.
After helping herself, Maroux doesn't ask whether anyone else wants the dregs of the pot, to more porridge, the hermit starts fussing, "Well, you can't stay here in my hut... there's no room... no room... a whole week???!! And you can keep your madman away from my island whilst you are here as well... all that doom and gloom, why can't he simply enjoy the sun on his face without endlessly preaching that these are the last days???"
...and then she says something that seems to make little sense, "The others, the cloaked folk, they left as soon as they were done... no need to linger, no need to linger... I won't cook for you anymore!!! The sea and marsh offers little food... you must look out for yourselves". Huffing slightly, she returns to scraping the last of the oats from the blackened pot.
I'm really shocked, Jo.
says the white haired woman with a big grin on her face
How do you dare doubting I'll help you? You ought to be spanked...
She blushes, but not that much
Sorry (but not too much), I still have this fresco in mind in the Lady's light.. those paintings were quite kinky, and put back some fire my imagination. I really could do with a cold bath.
Shortly after supper...
Zee remained uncharactistically quiet during supper, fiddling with her Harrow cards rather than engaging in conversation.
After supper, she helped Maroux clean up, and mostly ignored the other witch's muttered insults.
With that done, Zee notices Joanna's absence. She slips out, looking for her friend by moonlight. It does not take her long. Concealed in the shadows, she watches her friend dance silently under the stars for several long minutes until Jo snaps out of her reverie and whispers what seems to be a prayeer.
Zee then steps out of the shadows and walks toward Jo, clapping lightly. With her bewitching smile, she says, "Joanna—that was beautiful. I could watch you dance all night." She stops less than an arm's breadth from her friend, and places a hand on her shoulder.
Looking up she says, "It's wonderful to be under the stars again." She lowers her eyes and locks her gaze with Joanna. "Few things match their beauty... yet some surpass them." She brushes Jo's hair with her other hand.
Around Zee's neck, the shard of lust glitters brilliantly in the moonlight.
"Briana's right. We don't wish to impose more than we have," Joanna says, hoping to calm the old witch before her temper got away from her. "We'll just be here on the cape for a little while longer is all. We won't be crowding you in your home."
But you told us that those cloaked people had chopped up their boats.
Joanna turns as Zee makes her presence known and gives a shy laugh and smile while Halli moves a little further away from the Harrower.
"There's no reason to flatter me like that, Zee. I'm nowhere near as graceful as you are," she says as she grins. Her gaze follows Zee's up to the sky and her own eyes sparkle in wonder as she takes in the shining lights of the stars. She is about to agree with the Desnan when her eyes look into Zee's own and feels Zee's hand brush a few loose strands behind her ear.
"Uh? Zee," she asks in confusion as she remembers the last time they were alone together and fears the other woman had expressed, "what's going on?"
The next day near noon, Joanna knocks on Maroux's door and waits for the half-orc woman to answer.
"I think you and I need to talk, Maroux," Joanna says with little of the softness and being far blunter than was her wont. "You told us that two figures came, hacked their boats apart and used them for firewood before heading off somewhere and then last night you said that some cloaked figures came and went as soon as they were finished. For me and my friends' safety, I need you to tell me the truth about these figures as much as you know."
Joanna's head snaps back up, her face already turning scarlet at Arsith's assertion that she should be spanked.
"Oh c'mon Arsith!" She squeaks in embarrassment. "What's next? Threatening to drag me and Bri into the Silken Touch?!"
As soon as the words are said, Joanna claps her hands over her mouth and looks wide-eyed from Briana to Arsith, then back as her face almost glows red hot.
Why did I have to go and say that? Now I'm giving her ideas!
"A-anyway, I-I-I wanted to ask for your help first since the three of us are going to need to teach Shel all of the stuff we learned as girls. If you don't think it'll work, then I'll have to think of something else."
As the time wears on, Shadlah keeps her usual stoic silence. She spends much of her time working with the few pieces of stone she still has, carving rough figures into them - imitations of the sculptures and frescoes from the Lady's Light, various crude approximations of wildlife, rough facsimiles of Halli. She continues to refine the stones forming the borrowed body of her small companion, watching it swirl and scurry. When asked if she has any plans after returning to Magnimar, she only shrugs. "There is little waiting for me."
During one of the days during their wait, Joanna grows curious and watches Shadlah carve Halli's likeness. Halli snoozes, curled up in a ball, next to her in the cool fall air as Shadlah works.
"I don't think I ever thanked you for trying to help me after that fight with the Gray Maidens," she says after a long while. "Three months ago I'd never been in a fight for my life. I killed wererats in the Crow, but... I dunno. It was easier to justify to myself. They were monsters trying to kill us, so it made it easier, though I don't like what that says about me."
"It wasn't until we went to Ravenmoor that I fought something that wasn't a monster. You know Shel? The girl a couple of years younger than I am? Her and her parents tried to take one of us and have the mayor sacrifice us instead of Shel. We... We took them back to the Korzhas, the only ones in town we really knew and trusted. They were supposed to be safe, but then..."
Joanna hangs her head, looking down at her toes as she pulled her knees up to her chest.
"They'd killed Nalathi by then. She'd wandered off and they'd killed her in the room they'd given her. They replaced her with a shapechanger that could mimic her form and act like her so well that even Teldon didn't notice until it was too late. Shel's parents were killed and both Shel and Mr. Korzha almost joined them. We killed the mayor, the leader of the cult that was ruling Ravenmoor and the monster that was posing as the town's weaver, but we still lost Nalathi and I blamed myself."
She gives a mirthless chuckle as she glances up at Shadlah.
"If you think my breakdown by the lake or in that chamber with that spell was bad, you should see the mess I turned into on the trip back." She chuckled again as she returned her gaze to her feet and took in a deep breath. "I didn't eat and barely slept for two weeks. Nightmares waited for me in my sleep and even during the day I would hallucinate and imagine my stepmother and the dead mayor riding with me. I was going mad from grief and guilt. Teldon tried to help me, but... I couldn't accept it. I was scared of my own dreams and some part of me felt I didn't deserve his help or anyone else's. I collapsed only a little ways from Sandpoint, too weak to even move or even fight back as Teldon made me take the tonic he had prepared for me."
"That was only a little while before we met you. I lived and I learned from that, but it didn't make fighting the Gray Maidens any easier. I wanted to show them what that horrible hag had done. I wanted to talk to them to make them see what had happened, and then I had to fight them. I had to kill them. I wanted to reason with them and get them to see..."
She sighs, letting out the building tension in her shoulders.
"Sorry. I felt like you deserved to know why I was acting that way, and why it hurts to see you suffering from the guilt and the grief that you carry. You and Bri and Zee and Arsith and even Teldon, you're all like family to me, and I can't just sit by while a member of my family hurts."
Without warning, Joanna wraps Shadlah in a tight hug that pins her arms to her sides.
"You don't have to carry the grief alone. We'll help you mourn, then we'll help you smile again."