Dungeon Master Heathy's Carrion Crown

Game Master Heathansson


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I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

I just......refuse to railroad, man. Even though it makes me cack whenever I hear the whinging "this AP is such a railroad!" post, I try ernestly not to do it. Or at least make the players think it's all their idea.......

If I ever can figure out some cunning story, some clever shyamalanian twist,....I fully intend to create an adventure where the arson of the "dungeon" is necessary or crucial to the plot in some manner.


Per: check from the front door, trying to spot if there are any signs of life (or UNlife,) other than the rats. Or if I suspect that the chittering horde could be a swarm waiting for the Dm to get bored,... ;P

Per: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Apparantly , rats creep Edwin out! ;P

Edwin peers through the gloom stirred up by Myron's shout, and can be heard to mutter,...

"Rats. WHY did have to be rats?"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

heh. heh heh....

mwahaha.......

they sound pretty lively; they're too damn quick to get a good look at though.


Human Wizard 6

Alinya is well to the back of the group, expecting disaster at any moment as Myron, Edwin, and Rholf investigate the derelict building. She's holding her symbol of Pharasma, and seems to be repeating a minor rite or incantation over and over under her breath.

Something about this place has spooked all of her natural curiosity out of her.


Female Changeling (Annis Hag) Oracle of Life 6; 32/32 hp

The young oracle remains within reach of Rholf, but she's paying little to no attention to the house. She's looking around, but she seems to be listening to something as an unfelt breeze stirs her hair.

Per Edwin's suggestion, she's listening to the haunts to see if they tell her anything more than the vague threats she's become accustomed to.


Human Alchemist 1/Fighter 1

"I'M ENTERING THE ROOM TO THE LEFT! The damn stair's too rickety to support me and my armour!" Myron carefully makes his way into the next room. G!!*&$ned rats. Someone needs to burn this place down...


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Larissa Brightfoot wrote:

The young oracle remains within reach of Rholf, but she's paying little to no attention to the house. She's looking around, but she seems to be listening to something as an unfelt breeze stirs her hair.

Per Edwin's suggestion, she's listening to the haunts to see if they tell her anything more than the vague threats she's become accustomed to.

They start singing, about a train coming around a bend(?)


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Myron Swackhammer wrote:
"I'M ENTERING THE ROOM TO THE LEFT! The damn stair's too rickety to support me and my armour!" Myron carefully makes his way into the next room. G%*~#~ned rats. Someone needs to burn this place down...

Fire's cool!

That room was a parlor,......big window to the outside. It's trashed. Nothing useful in there;......

continuing on, there's a kitchen, then a common room,
and another unidentifiable room with a broken spinning wheel,....

and the bottom floor is completely explored; nothing of value, and it took 5 minutes.

The place has been gleaned over; anything portable is broken beyond usefulness or value.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

time check: 1:45 pm.


Female Changeling (Annis Hag) Oracle of Life 6; 32/32 hp
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

They start singing, about a train coming around a bend(?)

Do they have a steady bass beat and sing something about smokin' big cigars? Never heard of it.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Myron Swackhammer wrote:
"I'M ENTERING THE ROOM TO THE LEFT! The damn stair's too rickety to support me and my armour!" Myron carefully makes his way into the next room. G%*~#~ned rats. Someone needs to burn this place down...

Fire's cool!

That room was a parlor,......big window to the outside. It's trashed. Nothing useful in there;......

continuing on, there's a kitchen, then a common room,
and another unidentifiable room with a broken spinning wheel,....

there's a door, under the stairwell up, that leads to another stairwell down. It's partially collapsed, filled with broken lumber and brick, and lower down, with rock and sand; it'll be more like crawling over broken ruin than walking down a stairway to get down there.

and the bottom floor is completely explored; nothing of value, and it took 5 minutes.

The place has been gleaned over; anything portable is broken beyond usefulness or value.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Larissa Brightfoot wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

They start singing, about a train coming around a bend(?)

Do they have a steady bass beat and sing something about smokin' big cigars? Never heard of it.

somebody shot a man in some nonsense madeup place name, just to watch him die(?)


I'm here, pressures of work, sorry.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

no probs!


Male Human (Varisian) Paladin of Iomedae (Undead Scourge) 4

“This was likely the care-takers or warden’s house,” muses Castiel. “There’s unlikely to be anything of value to our investigation within.” He glances about, his gaze lingering in the direction of the main prison.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Hears more scuttling; not sure where it's coming from.


Female Changeling (Annis Hag) Oracle of Life 6; 32/32 hp
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Larissa Brightfoot wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

They start singing, about a train coming around a bend(?)

Do they have a steady bass beat and sing something about smokin' big cigars? Never heard of it.
somebody shot a man in some nonsense madeup place name, just to watch him die(?)

I've always wondered why he was in a Texas prison for shooting a man in Reno. Is there a Reno in Texas?


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

I don't think so...


Um, Yes, actually. (Google IS your friend!) :)


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

50 exp!


Edwin shuffles back a step, then straightens his attire to cover his nervousness.

"Excellent. I suppose it's up a less-armored individual to check the upstairs?" He asks rhetorically. He looks wistfully at the rest of the men, then briefly contemplates the ladies before shaking his head to clear it of any such nonsensical thoughts.

"Heading upstairs. Carefully." He says needlessly as he pulls out his rapier from under his long coat. He sets his jaw firmly, and cautiously makes his way to the stairs. He contemplates the rickety construction for a long moment. (the scurrying sounds perhaps causing to take longer than absolutely necessary,) then, slowly and ever so cautiously, makes his way up the stairs, testing each step carefully before trusting his full weight to it.

Per: to see the safest/strongest part of the stairs. and Dex/Acrobatics for moving carefully?
Per: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21
Dex/Acrobatics: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Oh. Snap. I sure hope the first one helps the second one! (?)

Edwin curses as a sudden flurry of movement from his hidden 'friends' startles him,...


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The stairs collapse.
Along with half of the front wall of the house.

DC 15 reflex save for Myron; Edwin; and on your honor...anybody within five feet of the front of the building; if you fail, you take

1d10 ⇒ 3 damage.....


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

That's not so bad.....


Edwin's eyes widen at the first creak.

"Oh. $#*^!!!"

Dex: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17

The detective turns in mid-air, (literally, as the stairs disappear from underneath him!) and his long legs take the collapsing stairs two at a time, barely staying one step ahead of the rotten woods collapse!


Male Human (Varisian) Paladin of Iomedae (Undead Scourge) 4

Reflex: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16

Castiel barely leaps back from his station at the front door as the front wall of the house comes crashing down.

"Myron! Edwin!"


M Human Cleric / 6

Reflex Save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

Seeing the building begin to collapse, Rholf attempts to extricate himself from the danger, but catches his foot on a stone. Falling, he brings his shield up, deflecting some of the debris, but taking a measure of it to his torso and head.

As the dust settles, Rholf stands up gingerly, wiping dust and blood from a wounded cheek. "Yes... Should've burned it." He looks about to see who else may need some assistance.


Human Wizard 6

Alinya clasps her hands to her mouth and squeals in alarm as a billowing cloud of brick dust, rotten wood, and dried rat droppings envelops her friends. She takes a couple of steps back, eyes wide, and is very relieved when the cheerful and unhurt forms of Edwin and Castiel emerge from the debris. Rholf is not so lucky.

"Oh! Rholf! Are you alright?"


M Human Cleric / 6
Lady Alinya Gurov wrote:

Alinya clasps her hands to her mouth... from the debris. Rholf is not so lucky.

"Oh! Rholf! Are you alright?"

"Yes, Lady Gurov. It is not as bad as it probably looks. Thank you for your concern, though." Rholf says as he draws out his waterskin to flush the wound. "Perhaps someone could assist me for a moment while I wash this... stuff... off of my face and hands, please?"


Female Changeling (Annis Hag) Oracle of Life 6; 32/32 hp

Since Larissa was intentionally behind Rholf, I think it's fair to assume she was out of the 5' danger zone.

"Father Kastigarr! Oh, let me have a look at that!"

Heal check 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25 I've been forgetting to apply the penalty for heal checks without a healer's kit, please adjust as necessary.

OOC about the song:
Oh, and regarding Reno -- the prison in question is in California, so I guess Reno, NV, might be the Reno in question. I had it in my head all this time that the story was based in Texas. Shows what little I know even about the things I think I know.


Human Alchemist 1/Fighter 1

Reflex save 3+5=8. Ouch!

"Hey, careful there, Drood, I... GAAAAAH!" Myron disappears underneath a cloud of dust and debris. "Ah. I'M RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAIRS! There's an old bookcase on top of me, I think."


M Human Cleric / 6

Rholf immediately drops his waterskin and wades into the debris to help Myron. "Are you injured!?"


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Not too bad, as the derelict abode collapses partially on the small group exploring it.....it could have been worse.


Edwin emerges from the cloud of dust, coughing and waving a hand in front of his face. He looks at the remains of the building wryly.

"Yes. Definitely should have left it to Myron. Myron?" The detective half shouts, half coughs as he goes carefully back towards the stairs to look for Myron. He sees a tuft of familiar hair sticking out from under a bookcase, and soon extricates his traveling companion from under the remains of the shelf, stairs, and other debris best left unidentified.


Male Human (Varisian) Paladin of Iomedae (Undead Scourge) 4

Castiel also leaps forward, locating the old wardrobe amongst the debris and lifting it to allow Rholf to pull Myron free.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

A cloud of snowflakes drift out of the wardrobe. Or maybe it's furniture stuffing....


Male Human (Varisian) Paladin of Iomedae (Undead Scourge) 4
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
A cloud of snowflakes drift out of the wardrobe. Or maybe it's furniture stuffing....

Heh heh


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

The staircase is no more. The stairway down is guarded by even more detritis than before; the second floor is reachable, though not by conventional means.......


time check: 1:50 p.m.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Larissa Brightfoot wrote:

Since Larissa was intentionally behind Rholf, I think it's fair to assume she was out of the 5' danger zone.

"Father Kastigarr! Oh, let me have a look at that!"

Heal check 1d20 + 11 I've been forgetting to apply the penalty for heal checks without a healer's kit, please adjust as necessary.

** spoiler omitted **

He's got a bone bruise on his cheek, and a flesh wound.

And there's a big nail driven through his forearm.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

Rholf's pupils are the same size though.
No concussion.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

I love dungeonmastering trauma.


M Human Cleric / 6
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
I love dungeonmastering trauma.

You could've DM'd my real-world trauma last night. Wait... You don't enjoy killing characters, do you?


Male Human (Varisian) Paladin of Iomedae (Undead Scourge) 4

“Shall we give this up as a poor idea and investigate elsewhere?” asks Castiel, looking back again at the prison. “There don’t appear to be ghosts here at this house, just rats and rot.”


Human Wizard 6

Alinya is relieved that neither Rholf nor Myron are badly hurt. There is one casualty however, "Myron, your fine new armor. Covered in ... debris." Alinya has a flashback to when a favourite new dress was ruined by a careless servant. Traumatic.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Rholf Kastigarr wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
I love dungeonmastering trauma.
You could've DM'd my real-world trauma last night. Wait... You don't enjoy killing characters, do you?

aw, man....sorry. Hope it's okay. Now I feel dickish.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!
Lady Alinya Gurov wrote:
Alinya is relieved that neither Rholf nor Myron are badly hurt. There is one casualty however, "Myron, your fine new armor. Covered in ... debris." Alinya has a flashback to when a favourite new dress was ruined by a careless servant. Traumatic.

Vermouth.....on a snow white gown.....the horror. the....horror....


M Human Cleric / 6
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
Rholf Kastigarr wrote:
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
I love dungeonmastering trauma.
You could've DM'd my real-world trauma last night. Wait... You don't enjoy killing characters, do you?
aw, man....sorry. Hope it's okay. Now I feel dickish.

Eh, don't give it a second thought! Yeah, I'm just sore is all. Without that bike helmet, though... I don't really want to consider that possibility.


I AM THE LORD OF ALL HELLFIRE!!!!!

cool. A friend of mine from highschool wrecked his bike in Tuscany; he had his snapped clavicle x ray up there on facebook....


M Human Cleric / 6

Just now noticing the nail through his forearm, Rholf stands silently for a moment, then takes a knee outside the debris, leaning the elbow of his wounded arm while gripping his wrist with the other hand.

"Umm... It would seem I hadn't noticed this little pleasantry before. Would someone mind? Straight up and out, nice and quick."


M Human Cleric / 6
dungeonmaster heathy wrote:
cool. A friend of mine from highschool wrecked his bike in Tuscany; he had his snapped clavicle x ray up there on facebook....

OUCH... Those aren't comfy. Hope he heals up quickly.

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