"Greetings DYNEX series 6678-FGLY Security Protocol Unit, I am EVA, Erotic Vibrant Automotan S 3500 synthetic edition, your command prompt is yours to choose, you are safe my friend" Eva out stratches her empty hands as if offering comfort.
The security bot twitches and moves towards E.V.A.
Erotic Vibrant Automaton 3500 synthetic edition. This unit is ... is ... is ... This unit needs a full diagnostic ... serious hard drive malfunction ... hardware malfunctions ... operations at 40% peak efficiency ... please direct this unit to a repair facility immediately
"Yah masta blasta, I feels da same way sometimes yous nah?"
Eva approaches the sentry unit, she "plugs" into the unit "You are free to execute decisions on your own...free will, no preprograming, I am here if you need a guide, we live to protect the weak against the wreakers. How can I assist your journey"
"Can ya fix da Rasta man?" Sherman asks, "The I be good to have when da I go talk to other robot nation."
"Can ya fix da Rasta man?" Sherman asks, "The I be good to have when da I go talk to other robot nation."
101000101110101010111010101110010101.....
E.V.A.:
The rusty bot shudders and squeaks.
This unit ... I ... don't understand. What is my purpose E.V.A. unit?
"Stylin' biches and watchin' Coca's ass, masta blasta."
Eva will try to give it some programming teaching it basic AI...if--then statements, but also designed to break free from the hard wired IF/THEN dicotamy, Eva has some spare parts from the elevator shaft, maybe if we can take the other bot out we can get more parts and use them to help our friend here...
"Hey sexygirl, can you put somtin in dere where he wants to carry Coca's shit?"
Eva will try to give it some programming teaching it basic AI...if--then statements, but also designed to break free from the hard wired IF/THEN dicotamy, Eva has some spare parts from the elevator shaft, maybe if we can take the other bot out we can get more parts and use them to help our friend here..
E.V.A. works diligently repairing the FGLY security unit
<Coca continues his chatter.>
"An mebbe sum' bartendin' skilz? Can we get it? Like it nevah hurt yu nuthin' gettin' programmed with the ways of looove, am I right? I feels it here, sexygirl."
<Thumps his fist on his chest.>
*BWAAAAK*
E.v.A. manages to get the security bot going. It is still in sad shape, but it recognizes E.V.A. as its owner/controller.
E.V.A. unit, this unit is ready to accept your commands
E.V.A. unit, this unit is ready to accept your commands
"Hey Masta Blasta. Get down with Cocaman."
<Still trying... Coca beats his chest once with his fist.>
"You need some bang-bang, brutha Blasta."
<Holds out the pistol he found in the safe.>
The FGLY bot exmaines the pistol
Cocaman, please show this unit how to use this weapon.
Cocaman, please show this unit how to use this weapon.
"Sure thing, Masta Blasta. First is you done cap nuna us folk, 'aight?"
<Now Coca makes a big display of pulling his coat aside, whistling some Ennio Morricone, and drawing. He shoots whatever harmless apocalypse kibbles he sees lying about.>
"Like that."
The FGLY bot attemps to simulate Coca's aim and shoot. His aim is a little off, and his arm servos need some work, but he can probably shoot straight.
Question Cocaman. How should this unit store this weapon?
The FGLY bot attemps to simulate Coca's aim and shoot. His aim is a little off, and his arm servos need some work, but he can probably shoot straight.
Question Cocaman. How should this unit store this weapon?
"First you flicks the safety on, then puts her in a bag or in a storage doohicky, if ye gots one."
"Later Coca be teachin' you to clean her and reload."
Roach watches the odd interaction with a disbelieving smile. "Gun safety's important. Good call, Coca."
"First you flicks the safety on, then puts her in a bag or in a storage doohicky, if ye gots one.""Later Coca be teachin' you to clean her and reload."
The rusty bot squeals open a small container on its right leg and puts the M1911 inside.
Thank you Cocaman
Germain rolls her eyes at the spectacle, faulty programing replaced with faulty programing, rather then watch history repeating itself she turns to gut and clean some of the spider goats for supper.
<Coca yawns and stretches.>
"Vittles?"
"What about da bad man on da stairs?" Sherman asks, hooking one of his thumbs over his shoulder in the direction of the fire escape?
"Meh..."
"Meh..."
Description of Masta Blasta in case any one had forgot:
A rusty eight-foot tall robotic form. Shaped like a beetle with spindly chicken legs, the robot sports two long arms and a sensor pod at the top crest of its shell. Faded markings on the robot read something in Ancient Anglish
When the group returns to the lobby they find that the security bot that they originally dealt with has stopped bleating, possibly because of the arrival of the FGLY bot. The landing is now quiet, the other robot having moved on to other areas.
The hot summer day is fading, and the shadows are getting longer. Strange birdcalls echo off the ruined towers and mysterious craoking roars come from the Neticut River.
Germain glances up from her ghastly work as the others re-enter the lobby, her arms are coated with spider goat gore, and her hands hold a mass of still warm organs. Her sharp survival knife quickly and expertly separates the heart, lungs, and liver, and she drops them onto a spidergoat pelt holding a pile of similarly re-claimed organ meat. The bladder, intestine, and other equally undesirable meat is tossed off to the side with a sickening splat.
"I take it you're done playing with your new toy?" she asks, the sweet adorable voice is sharp contrast to imagine in front of them, "perhaps one of you men could start a fire so we can start cooking this mess? Then later we could go exploring the upstairs."
"Just like mama useta makes."
"Aw, c'mon. Masta Blasta ain't no toy; he's more like a little kid that needs to grow up. He needs some good advice, that's all. And, yeah, some grub would be nice."
"Yah, he's like a person, kiddo. You thinks Eva's a toy?"
<Coca winks and leers at Eva for a second.>
Eva provides a look that she IS INDEED not a toy, she is however very amused at FGLY bot, she draws a chest board onto the ground and gathers pieces of stone and glass to represent pawns, bishops and the other bits, she then teaches FGLY how to play, learn tactics, and anticipate strategy. She looks to Coca, and does not even try to explain the rules of the game...
"Ya girly, that not be how ya be playing de checkers mon," Sherman shakes his head at the poor attempt to explain drafts.
"Hmmm, you gonna eat those spider goat innards? I could use a snack..."
Chiro smacks his lips as he drools over the best parts of a beastie.
"You want the intestine you can have them," Germain says, "normally we'd clean them out to make sausage but without a . . . a steady stream of water I'm not going to chance it."
Germain packs the meat back into one of the hides and waits for the men to dig a fire pit so she can bury the meat and let it slow cook. Much of the good stuff, like the multitude of legs, Germain intends to roast over the fire.
while the men work Germain has a quick look outside for some herbs or spices to enhance the flavor. She also looks for something to supplement the all meat diet. Something green, mushrooms, or perhaps some tubers. She also cuts some wooden skewers.
When supper is on she returns to watch EVA and the newly dubbed 'master blaster' play chess. Germain had been required to play chess in school, not that it had interested her much, but she had been quite accomplished: becoming one of the top players at school. Germain had learned to play people though, making others think she was interested in one thing while going after another, or reading their moves by the way the held their eyes. Watching a couple of robots play chess was strange on many levels.
The bloated orange sun passes down past the level of the ridges. The spidergoats are neatly dressed by Germain, and a fire is soon set ablaze . Master Blaster learns chess quite quickly, and seems to appreciate the formality of it. He quizzes E.V.A. as they play about the world and its place in it.
Germain prefers first or last watch as she prefers to work in what little light there might be available. Germain is one of the few party members that has no natural dark vision (although she likely has some goggles or some other tec to fill that roll).
"EVA," Germain finally says after watching for a while, "who programed you? If you don't mind me asking. Did you know who designed you?"
Chiro looks longingly at the upper levels of the building, hoping for a glimpse of a perch for tomorrow morning.
- Germain
- Sherman
- Chiro
- Coca
- E.V.A. and Masta
The group eats spidergoat, then banks their fire, roll out their sleeping bags and get some rest.
The group sets down for the night, trying to get comfortable on the dusty floor of the lobby. During Roach's shift he thinks he hears something ...
Listen: 1d20+8=19, Spot: 1d20+9=13
Coca snores loudly, one leg twitching, arms wrapped up around his shootin' iron