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Deep beneath the surface of Terminus, drug-using cultists prophesy the appearance of a robot messiah who will restore humanity to a golden age...
The Kwisatz Radioshack.
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I remember RadioShack. I loved that place.
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Having killed Santa, Tim Allen becomes the new Lord Marshal of the Necromongers because you keep what you kill.
Leia's Force ghost and Anakin's Force ghost meet in the most awkward estranged family afterlife reunion ever.
"So... how was your childhood?"
"It was fine. Until you blew up the entire planet I grew up on and everyone on it I cared about."
"..."
"Are those kid ghosts following you around yours? Like from a second marriage or something?"
"No. I kind of... slaughtered... them. When I thought your mom was cheating on me with my Jedi master."
"He ended up serving my father in the Clone Wars."
"And they never mentioned an apprentice? Typical."
"Oh, you have NO right!"
"Don't you take that tone with me, missy!"
"RRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRWWWW"
"Great. Now you've upset the Wookiee. Happy F#$~ing Light Day, *air quote gesture* Dad."
Harry Potter defeats Voldemort, then wakes up in a diner across from Cypher, who slides him a steak and reveals the entire wizarding world was just a particularly tasty simulation in the Matrix.
in an update to a quilting circles' main frames we now have scrapbooking in an integrated cricut.