I shaeshift into a heavy wooden club. So long, Rust Monster.
I shapeshift into a heavier wooden club.
I shapeshift into Visible LOG, then into INvisible LOG.
I shapeshift into a Wizardly Lumberjack, and cut the INvisible LOG down.
I shapeshift into buttered scones for tea.
I shapeshift into a proper English Gentleman. Scones you say, old boy?
I shapeshift into a nubile young Indian girl (not much of a stretch, really) and reveal the creepier side behind Ghandi's public image.
I shapeshift into the Moral Majority and censor the whole thing.
I shapeshift into satirical entertainment and shame the Moral Majority into silence/
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I shapeshift into the gullible public who takes your satire at face value and has you arrested for advocating eating the babies of poor people.
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I shapeshift into taste buds and show the people how delicious babies really are.
I shapeshift into one out of every four hentai films, causing very bad things indeed to happen to the catgirl.
I shapeshift into a terrible internet connection. No films, hentai or otherwise, can be downloaded now.
I shapeshift into a pathologically high suicide rate, and that's it for the Finns.
I shapeshift into dopamine. Wonderful, happiness-bringing dopamine.
I shapeshift into a thread necromancer, and control the dopamine with foul internet magic.
I shapeshift into an actual necromancer, and turn the thread necromancer into my undead servant.
I shape shift into an overly ambitious GM and homebrew/rewrite the whole setting.
I shapeshift into the meta-GM, and write you out of reality.
I shapeshift into a rules lawyer party, and grind the meta GM in reality.
I shapeshift into actual lawyers and sue you.
I shapeshift into a judge and have the case thrown out of court for being frivolous.
I shapeshift into Vin Diesel... Nuff' said.
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I shapeshift into a person who doesn't watch movies. You have not said enough.
I shapeshift into a 42-year old man who doesn't know who Clayton Forrester is. CF becomes nothing more than one of many possible pop-culture / geek references, and fades from the realms of potential danger in the 42-year old man's universe.
I shapeshift into a 20-year-old man, whose very existence reminds the 42-year-old man that he is not 20 anymore.
I shapeshift into a police officer to enforce the drinking age laws. That's what you get for flaunting your youth in front of a 42 year old man.
I shapeshift into a donut.
I shapeshift into TV show entropy, causing a decay of creativity and general goodness in the later seasons of the Simpsons. You are no longer as relevant as you were!
I shapeshift into a monkey with a wrench, and bash the supercomputer to pieces.
I shapeshift into a bottle of barbecue sauce, making the monkey's flavor irresistible to the locals.
I shapeshift as a disaster movie to destroy New York City.
I shapeshift into a generic action movie protagonist, and manage to survive the disaster with a combination of grit, training, and implausibly lucky timing.
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I shapeshift into one ounce of plausible realism, killing the hero as he attempted to jump from an exploding rooftop to grab the skid of a fleeing helicopter.
I shapeshift into Goofus from the «Goofus and Gallant» thread and start a campaign where anvils fall on the PCs everytime they go off the rails, killing every ounce of plausible realism.
I shapeshift into the Patriarchy, and negate your mother's problems with a screed beginning with "Actually..."
I shapeshift into The Future, and smash The Patriarchy!