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In pathfinder we, as experienced players and GMs, often get so caught up in numbers, and stats, and rules that we forget the RP and thematic elements of the game, so let me paint you a word picture:
The scene: An alchemist (with no ranks in diplomacy and using charisma as a dump stat) is introducing his new tumor familiar to the rest of his party.
The familiar: Uses the stats of a compsognathus, with the Valet archetype, Extra Item Slot feat, and poisoner's gloves.
Alchemist "Ok, there have been rumors that I've acquired some kind of horrible, otherworldly, parasite, and I want to clear the air.
(The familiar emerges from a hole in the alchemist's belly where his navel used to be. It looks like a Queen chestburster. Go Google it, I'll wait.)
"First; its an alchemical symbiote, not a parasite. And yes, it will climb around on you and inject you with its stinger, and I admit it is venomous. But I've ordered it to only inject you with various performance enhancing solutions, nothing dangerous. And even if it did inject you with its toxins, and it totally, probably, wont do that, it can't do any long term damage, just cause temporary muscle paralysis. And its completely sterile, so there's absolutely no way it could lay eggs in your throat while your unconscious.
So in short, while its presence and injections mid-combat may be mildly uncomfortable at first, I'm sure, with time, you'll grow it enjoy it and see that its all for the best."
And yes, I know that the injections technically come from the bite and claws, but does that really make it much better.
Let's not forget the Alchemist's third arm.
This is the most awesome post in the history of awesome posts.
In pathfinder we, as experienced players and GMs, often get so caught up in numbers, and stats, and rules that we forget the RP and thematic elements of the game, so let me paint you a word picture:
The scene: An alchemist (with no ranks in diplomacy and using charisma as a dump stat) is introducing his new tumor familiar to the rest of his party.
The familiar: Uses the stats of a compsognathus, with the Valet archetype, Extra Item Slot feat, and poisoner's gloves.Alchemist "Ok, there have been rumors that I've acquired some kind of horrible, otherworldly, parasite, and I want to clear the air.
(The familiar emerges from a hole in the alchemist's belly where his navel used to be. It looks like a Queen chestburster. Go Google it, I'll wait.)
"First; its an alchemical symbiote, not a parasite. And yes, it will climb around on you and inject you with its stinger, and I admit it is venomous. But I've ordered it to only inject you with various performance enhancing solutions, nothing dangerous. And even if it did inject you with its toxins, and it totally, probably, wont do that, it can't do any long term damage, just cause temporary muscle paralysis. And its completely sterile, so there's absolutely no way it could lay eggs in your throat while your unconscious.
So in short, while its presence and injections mid-combat may be mildly uncomfortable at first, I'm sure, with time, you'll grow it enjoy it and see that its all for the best."
Fighter: Welcome to the party. I want the first injection!
Let's not forget the Alchemist's third arm.
And the tentacle?
Now, real talk- which is worse, a tentacle, or a mummified tentacle (which would happen if they also took the mummification discovery)
Imagine an alchemist with Feral Mutagen, looming over you and grinning broadly with it's shark-like teeth, preparing to rip you open and devour your innards...
This is hilarious. I've played characters that still would've taken it, but your typical knight in shining armor would probably burn him at the stake if you really committed to the character.
I was coming in to throw in a "Well, they're only creepy if you PLAY them creepy" - which is true - but your description was so FLAWLESS that it made me smile. :D
Bah, someone spends years in a lab drinking whatever strange chemical cocktail they created at 4AM after being up for 6 days and people have to expect that it might have the odd side-effect like the rubbery bones. If people thing the occasional tentacle growing out of someone's forehead is "creepy" then I shudder to imagine what they think of an alchemist who grows claws and fangs while suppressing their intelligence. Just because an alchemist spends his time talking to alternate personae is no reason to call him "creepy". An alchemist is just another character trying to survive as a murderhobo, if you cut him does he not bleed (warning the blood of some alchemists has been known to induce nausea)?
Maybe? Sometimes?
It depends on what he has been researching. I think spontaneous healing might solve that problem.
But might still bleed momentarily. But don't worry, an extract of Persistent Vigor can solve that by making you immune to bleed.
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In pathfinder we, as experienced players and GMs, often get so caught up in numbers, and stats, and rules that we forget the RP and thematic elements of the game....
Speak for yourself - experienced players and GMs, in particular, should not do that. They're more than "elements of the game," they're it's raison d'etre.
Well-presented, though - my Alchemist has nearly sorted out his working reanimation solution, and is looking forward to his self-mummification.
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Bah, someone spends years in a lab drinking whatever strange chemical cocktail they created at 4AM after being up for 6 days and people have to expect that it might have the odd side-effect like the rubbery bones. If people thing the occasional tentacle growing out of someone's forehead is "creepy" then I shudder to imagine what they think of an alchemist who grows claws and fangs while suppressing their intelligence. Just because an alchemist spends his time talking to alternate personae is no reason to call him "creepy". An alchemist is just another character trying to survive as a murderhobo, if you cut him does he not bleed (warning the blood of some alchemists has been known to induce nausea)?
I have no problem with an animilistic alchemist as long as their housebroken but I want nothing to do with tentacles or injections thank you.
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Amy the Alchemist: What?! Just because I've spent the last six years developing all kinds of potions, and testing six different varieties of potential mutagens and cognatogens on myself... and others... doesn't make me creepy! It's all for science!!
Rita the Rogue: What about the bombs?
Amy: Just because I can combine ordinary water and powdered copper and turn them into an explosive doesn't make me creepy either. >_<
Freddy the Fighter: Look, we're only asking because some of us think you might be taking the whole "SCIENCE~!!" thing a bit too far. Like... well... Erik thought you were really hot and probably wouldn't want to see some kind of vestigial mini-Amy growing out of your neck, or a tail, or a third arm, or something.
Amy: Well, I was thinking about working on growing wings, and they totally would have worked if you guys hadn't stopped me.