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Your player just rolled a 1 on an attack. What happens next?
How about some fun descriptions of what happened when your player fumbled. I'll start it off.
1. You see a flock of rabbits fly by. Rabbits. With wings. Fly in the air past you.
2. Being self-confident is one thing. Being so confident that you yell "I AM INVINCIBLE" as you attack, giving your opponent plenty of time to dodge is another. You miss.
3. A fly just flew up your nose. Your opponent must make a will save <insert appropriate DC> or lose 1d4 rounds while laughing at you.
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4. Prepare to meet your mak.... AAAAARRGGGGHHHHH, CRAAMP!
5. Your attack knocks over a bookshelf. Librarians now hate you and will attack you on sight.
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6. You stab your opponent, yet he seems uneffected. His eyes meet yours as he says, "my name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father, prepare to die!"
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7. You accidentally step into an alternate dimension and pretty soon you get abducted by some aliens who's faces kinda look like Jaime Farr!
8. You scream your name drawing out the vowels while charging directly into the point of the enemies sword much to the consternation of your allies.
9. in an attempt to feint you put your left foot in then take your left foot out, then put your left foot back in and shake it all about. This fails.
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10. Evil Lincoln is your GM. He asks "Was that your first attack of the round?" and you say "Nope." and he says "Your attack misses. No other effect."
Real suggestion: You left your sword in the scabbard. Miss, and spend a move action drawing the weapon.
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Or, for the gunslingers missing their first attack in the fight:
11. Ker-click! Looks like you forgot to load powder into your weapon!
12. You are distracted by a parade of clowns.
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13. You attempt to Quick Draw your Greatsword, but the blade sticks in the scabbard. You wind up flipping yourself forward and are now prone on your back.
14) Your opponent moves against the setting sun. You are momentarily blinded and miss an otherwise easy mark. Nasty DM version: you are also dazzled until your next turn.
15) Nothing happens. You hit if your total equal or exceeds your opponent's AC. This roll triggers an environmental effect. Your GM rules that rain starts to pour. Terrain becomes slippery on the following round
16) Bugger keeps moving. Rather than swinging wildly, you consolidate your position and thus end your round. All your attacks gain a +2 bonus on the following turn.
17) Loose rubble makes you lose footing. All further attacks this round are made with a -2 penalty.
18) Your quiver topples and empties its content on the spot and your attack misses as you curse the merchant who sold you the stuff. Further attacks are unaffected as long as you stay on the spot. Otherwise, picking up your arrows is a full round action.
19. You ready your attack and right as you make it you sneeze causing your <spell, sword, arrow, etc> to miss its mark.
20. You take a stance and ready your attack. Right as you are about to attack you break wind, loudly. Everyone makes a <insert appropriate dc> will save or spend the next round laughing.
21. You take a step and hear a riiiip. You tore your pants. Who knew you wore underwear with pink hearts on them!
22. As you draw back your sword for a devastating slice, the blade suddenly comes free from the hilt, and flies back behind you in a straight path, lodging itself in the nearest surface. Meanwhile, as you bring your sword arm forward, you meet your enemies eyes, and without missing a beat you shout, "HA HA! Slash! Stabby! Stabby!" as you poke him with your sword hilt.
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23. Your attack connects, but you become distracted as your opponent looks at you with goo-goo eyes. Your opponent then claims "Aw, you must like me, you took it easy on me. You're kinda cute yourself big boy".
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24. As you stare down your adversary, you are blindsided by a sudden thought: How many people have I killed in the past month alone? What am I becoming? Make a Will save or suffer the effects of a terrible remorse spell with a CL equal to your character level.
25. You accidentally fire your gun BEFORE drawing it from its holster - make a REALLY HIGH Reflex save; if you make it, you won't have just scored a critical threat on yourself, nor will you have been spayed/neutered.
26. You decide to experiment with a new and different battle-cry, but as soon as you say the first word of it, a strange duck statuette abruptly drops from the ceiling on the end of a string, with the word you just uttered on a placard around its neck. Everyone else in the room - bystanders, your enemies, and fellow party members alike - erupts into spontaneous applause.
27. You nock your arrow and let fly - you can't imagine how or why, but it flies in the direct opposite of the direction you were aiming. If there's a creature behind you, it is the target of the attack, but due to being hit by the arrow's shaft, will suffer 2 fewer points of damage if hit, as well as that damage being bludgeoning.
28. Rather than withdrawing and hurling an entire fan of shuriken from your pouch as expected, you withdraw your hand only to discover a single shuriken that you've somehow managed to fold into a perfect origami goose. It's worthless as a weapon, but is worth at least 25 gp as an art object.
29. You reach down for your weapon, and wind up exposing yourself instead. Roll 1d6 on the following table:
1: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be overcome with laughter for 1d3 rounds.
2: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d3 rounds.
3: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be shaken for 1d3 rounds.
4: All sentient creatures of a different type than you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d6-1 (minimum 0) rounds as they try to figure out what they're looking at and why.
5: One creature who can see you and might be capable of sexual attraction to you must make a Will Save or suffer the effect of a charm person spell.
6: All attacks against you within the next round have their critical threat ranges tripled.
30. Instead of a normal acid arrow, you spray your enemy with a powerful, epiphany-inducing psychedelic; in the apparent blink of an eye, they embark on and return from a mind-expanding dream quest, permanently raising their Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores by 1 each.
31. The weapon that you are holding suddenly falls apart, leaving you holding a red cylinder with a wick burning in one end, which quickly burns down as the cylinder explodes. Make a Reflex save... evasion does NOT apply.
23. Your attack connects, but you become distracted as your opponent looks at you with goo-goo eyes. Your opponent then claims "Aw, you must like me, you took it easy on me. You're kinda cute yourself big boy".
Heehee. I have one that says something to the effect of Your opponent wiggles his hips at you and says, "<insert random pickup line here>". Make a DC 20 will save to avoid becoming nauseated for one round.
29. You reach down for your weapon, and wind up exposing yourself instead. Roll 1d6 on the following table:
1: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be overcome with laughter for 1d3 rounds.
2: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d3 rounds.
3: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be shaken for 1d3 rounds....
I am so stealing 29 for my random list. This is awesome!
32. You step onto a wet bar of soap and slide 10 feet in a random direction, arms flailing all the while (roll 1d8 to determine direction, roll Reflex save DC 20 to NOT fall).
32. You step onto a wet bar of soap and slide 10 feet in a random direction, arms flailing all the while (roll 1d8 to determine direction, roll Reflex save DC 20 to NOT fall).
33. Okay, who dropped the soap? That stuff's worse than banana peels! Make a DC 25 reflex save or end up prone, but very clean.
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34. You slip on a bar of soap. It flies across the room, catching air, ricochets off a few walls and then hits <determine person randomly> in the face stunning them for 1d4 rounds.
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35. Uncontrollable Muscle Spasm: Make three separate attack rolls and then roll a d10 for direction. 1-8 are normal direction results, while a result of 9 or 0 means you hit yourself with your own weapon.
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36. Somehow, a bit of the essence of the last creature you slew with your weapon yet lingers within it, and has chosen this moment to flare up before passing on - for the next 1d10 minutes, your weapon acquires one of the following special properties: holy (if the last creature you slew was Good), unholy (if the last creature you slew was Evil), axiomatic (if the last creature you slew was Lawful), anarchic (if the last creature you slew was Chaotic), or vicious (if the last creature you slew was Neutral Neutral); if the last creature you slew was LG, LE, CG, or CE, determine which of the two properties the weapon takes on randomly.
36. The universe explodes. Just goes boom. And it's all your fault. Nice job idiot.
37. Your sword flies from your hands and goes missing. No you can't find it by rolling perception. I don't care if it's got Returning. No, using Locate Object won't work.
Just go along with it and stop metagaming!!!
38. Brain decides to remind you of every mistake nd stupid thing you ever made, distracting you while also destroying your self-esteem.
39. Your compatriot decides this is the right time to tell you that he slept with your Significant Other. Twice. On your birthday.
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40. Your weapon freezes in your hands, demanding a share of the loot and refusing to strike another enemy until it gets it. Meanwhile, the potions you keep on hand are chanting "Union! Union! Union!..."
Staff of Striking, right?
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DM: Frank the Fighter swings his mighty +5 sword of lung-ripping... oh! Natural 1! Confirm that for me...
Frank's Player: Ugh... (d20 rolling) 7, plus another 6 for my attack mod gives me... unlucky-assed 13?!
DM: Well, you fumbled. Sucks.
Rita the Rogue's Player: Oooh! Let me draw the fumble card! XD
DM: All righty.
Rita's Player: (draws a card) ^_^
DM: (reading) "The attack hits you and is a critical hit. Roll to confirm this."
Frank's Player: I hate you so much right now. (d20 rolling) WHAT THE CHRIST, natural 20?!?!
DM: Well, that sucks so much.
Amy the Alchemist's Player: Can I draw this one?
DM: Sure.
Frank's Player: (at the same time) No!!
Amy's Player: Oh, shush, you. (draws a critical card)
DM: (reading) "Decapitation: Fortitude save 35 or die."
Frank's Player: (something inarticulate under his breath about needing a 27 on a twenty-sided die) (d20 rolling) Ugh. That's an eight.
DM: (thinks for a second) All righty. After the mighty barbarian declares himself to be more manly than the group's fighter, Frank challenges that assumption. With gusto, Frank draws his sword and promptly beheads himself with it. As viscera sprays everywhere, the barbarian is impressed that you did it in one go.
10. Evil Lincoln is your GM. He asks "Was that your first attack of the round?" and you say "Nope." and he says "Your attack misses. No other effect."
Real suggestion: You left your sword in the scabbard. Miss, and spend a move action drawing the weapon.
That normal Lincoln guy sure sounds boring. Thank goodness for the far more interesting epic Lincoln. Despite his apparent evil.
That normal Lincoln guy sure sounds boring. Thank goodness for the far more interesting epic Lincoln. Despite his apparent evil.10. Evil Lincoln is your GM. He asks "Was that your first attack of the round?" and you say "Nope." and he says "Your attack misses. No other effect."
Real suggestion: You left your sword in the scabbard. Miss, and spend a move action drawing the weapon.
And this was coming from the MYTHIC Evil Lincoln! Wait until you hear from the even-more-normal, not-mythic Evil Lincoln :)
DM: (thinks for a second) All righty. After the mighty barbarian declares himself to be more manly than the group's fighter, Frank challenges that assumption. With gusto, Frank draws his sword and promptly beheads himself with it. As viscera sprays everywhere, the barbarian is impressed that you did it in one go.
That's really funny. I don't like fumbles to kill players though, so I tend to avoid the truly damaging ones. I think my fumble list has one out of 100 with a damage of 2d6. Everything else is lower.
42? You flail around so embarrassingly, your allies witnessing this receive a -1 morale penalty next round on all attack and save rolls.
42? You flail around so embarrassingly, your allies witnessing this receive a -1 morale penalty next round on all attack and save rolls.
But 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything. It can't be something bad! (mine says you Fail so hard you make a critical hit. Roll damage)
And I think we were on 41. :)
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I was counting Snorb's story as one. If you prefer -
42. You utter "Oh no, not again" as you leave yourself open to a free attack of opportunity from your opponent.
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43. There once was the sword of a knight
that traveled much faster than light
it lashed out one day
in a relative way
and came back on the previous night.
You swing your sword at FTL speed, causing you to have stabbed yourself in the back with it last night. In addition to normal damage from the attack, you suffer Sneak Attack damage as a Rogue of half your level (minimum 1st), minus however many hit points you heal by way of normal rest.
43. There once was the sword of a knight
that traveled much faster than light
it lashed out one day
in a relative way
and came back on the previous night.You swing your sword at FTL speed, causing you to have stabbed yourself in the back with it last night. In addition to normal damage from the attack, you suffer Sneak Attack damage as a Rogue of half your level (minimum 1st), minus however many hit points you heal by way of normal rest.
Nope, you're back on the right number now :)
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45. Not only do you drop your weapon, your hand gets scared and jumps off your wrist!
Roll 1d20:
1 - It goes berserk from panic and tries to throttle you until someone "puts it down".
2-19 - It skitters into the unknown, never to return.
20 - It skitters into the unknown, never to return - or so you think, until it comes back several levels later in the adventure, with class levels and loot of its own, as the greatest GMPC your players have ever seen!
46. Your weapon begins to sob uncontrollably, interladen with exclamations of, "I can't believe I'm stuck with this loser!" for the next 1d6 rounds, as you also gain a -2 to hit and damage as the sobbing as rather distracting and throws off aim.
47. You suddenly fall into fits of uncontrollable sneezing, so disruptive that all combat stops as your compatriots, and even your foes stop their activities as they look at you with either concern for your well-being, or worry that whatever you've got is contagious.
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I'll go with a rolemaster classic.
48. Stumble over an unseen imaginary deceased turtle. You loose 2 rounds of offensive action but can parry.
I'll go with a rolemaster classic.
48. Stumble over an unseen imaginary deceased turtle. You loose 2 rounds of offensive action but can parry.
Invisible dead turtle works too. :D
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Modification:
49. You stumble over an invisible, LIVE, irritable turtle, which in turn bites your foot for 1d4 points of damage. Your next attack is at -2 due to distraction.
Our table still uses the rolemaster charts for all our RPG's. They remain the best crit/fumble charts in existence.
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50.You and your oppenent are hit with an invisible wizards baleful polymorph spell, no save. This only targets your weapons. Your weapons are now fluffy bunny rabbits, spend four move actions to pet the bunny or take a -1 penalty on everything due to bunny cuteness. Attacking the bunny results in your weapon returning, with the broken condition.
51.You have angered the invisible weregoat! Now you have another combatant to fight.
Our table still uses the rolemaster charts for all our RPG's. They remain the best crit/fumble charts in existence.
I like my fumble chart better but then I also usually run goofy games. :)
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Invisible dead turtle works too. :DI'll go with a rolemaster classic.
48. Stumble over an unseen imaginary deceased turtle. You loose 2 rounds of offensive action but can parry.
52. You stumble over a Crunchy Raw Unboned Real Dead Frog - make a successful Craft (Confectioner) check if you want to avoid prosecution.
52. You stumble over a Crunchy Raw Unboned Real Dead Frog - make a successful Craft (Confectioner) check if you want to avoid prosecution.
LOL Although I think I'd make it Craft (Cooking) check or Profession (Chef) check. :D
The idea of prosecution is funny though.53. You get so mad you forget what you were doing and bite your opponent instead. Roll 1d4 for damage unless you actually have a bite attack.