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S&%~ happens.
Once upon a time, there was a busy beekeeper. He was so busy, in fact, that he realized he needed help to manage his apiary, and so he put out the call for an able-bodied and competent assistant. No more than three days passed after that before there was a knock on his door. He opened it, and standing there was someone in a large beekeeper's suit.
"How do you do?" The person asked in a funny-sounding voice. "I heard you needed help with your hives. I think you'll find I'm the best there is." The person reached out a gloved hand to shake on it. The beekeeper asked what their credentials were, to which the applicant merely motored their way back to the apiaries and proceeded to tend the hives and extract the honey...more quickly and efficiently than the beekeeper himself ever had, in fact.
"We do need to talk terms, though," the stunned beekeeper said. "I can only pay so much."
"Oh," the new assistant waved their hand dismissively. "I ask only for a 10% share of the honey."
"That's...actually a great deal of honey. But I suppose you're worth it!" And so they shook on it.
Months passed, and the beekeeper and his apiaries flourished. His assistant was working out like a dream. One thing was strange, though: The beekeeper'd NEVER seen his assistant without their beekeeping outfit. He could never even tell if they were a man or a woman. One day, he approached his assistant on the matter after work.
"You know," he said. "I can't tell you how much your help has meant to me - but after all this time, I would like to know who you are. It's a matter of trust, after all. Could you please take off your veil, just once?"
"You'd rather I didn't." Replied his assistant stiffly.
"Oh, come now, I would never judge you on your looks - and you mean you'd rather you didn't. I MUST know who you are. Most employers would NEVER have gone this long without even asking. How do I know you aren't a criminal on the run from the law, or a spy from one of my rivals, or something worse? I'm sorry, but as a matter of ethical business, I feel I have no choice but to demand that you show me your face if you wish to continue working with me."
"So bee it." Said his assistant flatly. They took off their veil, and beneath it was neither a man nor a woman...but an enormous swarm of bees in human shape. The beekeeper died of shock on the spot. His assistant(s), not knowing what else to do, took up his veil and donned it, and became the new beekeeper.
Never before had the apiaries generated so much honey of such quality.
And the moral of the story is?
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Emma was a junior in high-school. She was a very intelligent student who always took the most difficult classes available to her, and who not only participated in band, choir, and drama club, but who took it upon herself to help save the fine arts programs when the school was facing budget cuts.
Throughout the year, she worked and worked, studied and studied, pulling all-nighters to make sure all of her work was done to it's best.
Now, she was never the most popular girl, and her constant devotion to school made maintaining what social live she did have nearly impossible.
Despite her constant devotion and diligence, her classes kept getting harder and her nights kept getting longer. Her Christmas break, which one might think of as a time to rest and recuperate, ended up being spent completing a massive group project that her partners chose to ignore.
She grew weary, and concentrating in classes became very difficult; she would sometimes even fall asleep. Her grades began slipping, and she quit band. Her parents, who had always expected her to preform at the highest possible level, became frustrated at her lessened performance, and would often yell at her when she brought back a poor report card.
She became angry and irritable, lashing out at her teachers and parents, and one day, refused to go to school at all. Her father, furious, hit her, knocking her to the ground. She quickly scrambled to her room, locked the door, and did not speak to her family for the rest of the evening.
That night, the entire neighborhood woke to the sound of a gunshot. Emma was found dead on her bathroom floor, her father's Colt in her right hand, and a bullet in her head.
And the moral is?
(Sorry about how morbid this one is. It is the rough transcript, pulled from my memory, of a story I wrote a couple years ago for a professor that I thought was just a bit too upbeat, and I was wondering what kind of moral you guys could pull out of it.)
Some people aren't cut out to be parents.
Once upon a time, there was a fair kingdom with a beautiful princess. One day, a dragon descended upon the kingdom and kidnapped her. The King called together his most noble and skillful knights, and entreated them to slay the dragon and rescue his daughter.
It took them many months to cross the uncivilized lands to the dragon's realm. They faced hordes of orc, packs of vicious wolves, and demons from the Abyss. Many of the knights died while fighting these various threats. Always their comrades would bury them at the end of a fight, with all the honor that they could afford to them.
At last, however, the last 3 knights remaining approached the volcano where the dragon had made its lair. Right before they entered the mountain itself, the dragon fell out of the sky on the ground before them, dead. A few moments later, the Princess walked out of the volcano, a bloody dagger in her hand. She asked, "What took you guys so long?"
And the moral is?
As a general rule of thumb, the hotter the chick, the more badass she is. (At least in fantasy/sci-fi settings)
A group of goblin thieves were attempting to steal from a wealthy aristocrat's vault, guarded by Tim, the young, new recruit; Ashley, the attractive, skilled half-elf; and Jerry, the kind, old ex-merc who was a week from retirement. The guards quickly put down the attacking goblins, but not before Jerry takes an exploding ball of fire to the face.
And the moral is?
If you have the last anus on Earth, you are going to have a hard time with aliens.
A veteran waste management technician in a major metropolitan center is one week from retirement when his team encounters a clog that threatens to pollute millions of homes with raw sewage. He is able to remove the clog due to his experience, but the victory comes at great personal cost due to his declining physical abilities.
And the moral of the story is?
Whaddya think ya got an IMMUNE SYSTEM for???
One morning, a handsome young gunslinger walked into a dusty little town wearing NOTHING but his hat, holster, and boots. The local sheriff saw him almost immediately and arrested him for indecent exposure. As he did, the sheriff asked the gunslinger what the hell he was doing wandering into town like that.
"It's a long story," the gunslinger explained. "I was ridin' along the trail when I passed by a nice little shack with this pretty young lady standing out front. She waved at me. I waved back."
"She called out to me and said, 'Morning, gunslinger, why don't you come inside?' So I did."
"After breakfast, she said, 'why don't you take off your vest?' So I did."
"Once I did, she took off her own vest, and said, 'why don't you take off your shirt?' So I did."
"Then she took over her own shirt, and said, 'why don't you take off your britches?' So I did."
"Then she took off her own britches, and said, 'why don't you take off your pantaloons?' So I did."
"Then she took off her own pantaloons, and her garters, and her brassiere, and jumped onto her bed and said, 'go to town, gunslinger!'"
"So I did."
And the moral of the story is?