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Ok tonight I am recommending a fantasy movie with a female lead (Brigitte Nielson) in a cool movie from the 1980's. A good fantasy warrior film with great fun characters, action, and magical musical score that sets the tone.
SYNOPSIS:
After having her family murdered and beaten by savage barbarians, a vengeful Sonja sets out on a journey to retrieve a magical orb from the twisted evil queen whom she vows vengeance upon.
With the help of Kalidor the Barbarian(Schwarzenegger), Prince Tarn the fighter(Ernie Reyes Jr), and Falkon the Barbarian, the heroes must team up and find a way into the queen's palace to destroy her evil kingdom once and for all.
"A must have for any film collector of fantasy filmfare."
It's dreadful. Right down there with Supergirl. Shocking. Just watch 10 minutes for an ironic chuckle then turn it off and do something else. Really. Life's too short for this rubbish. ;)
Uh? Flash Gordon was great movie. Red Sonja, while not as good as first Conan was much better than second one...
Possibly the one movie in Arnie's career where his impressive chest measurements may have been eclipsed by his co-star's.
Arnold Schwarzenegger having a successful acting career is one of the great mysteries of our time.
"Oh, yeah, this movie!"
or
"Hey, the movie that taught me that bad acting, and little dialogue could still be awesome! Also, taught me that girls could be action-stars too!"
(Give me a break, I was, like, three, when it came out.)
I love this film. (And Flash Gordon.)
Supergirl was pretty flat, though, and made no sense.
Just to be clear, Red SONYA is the character that appears in original Robert E Howard, Conan stories (only once). That version is more like a Pirate and has pistols and a rapier and fights a Sultan with Conan in the story "Shadow of the Vulture".
Red SONJA is a creation of some other authors and is the chain mail bikini wearing Barbarian most of you are familiar with and gets put into Howard's Hyborian universe even though they are two different characters and one has nothing to do with the other. The chain bikini version is simply a construct of authors who were building on Howard's work.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger having a successful acting career is one of the great mysteries of our time.
he's one of those actors that you either love or hate. personally, i love him, not because he is a great actor, but because he is not. i honestly think the original conan the barbarian is one of the greatest movies ever made. everything just comes together in that movie, the actors, the sets, the score (love love love the soundtrack!)... i understand how it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but i think it (and most arnold movies) are enjoyable.
Actually, to be completely clear, Red Sonya didn't appear in a Conan story. Shadow of the Vulture was a historical. Not in Hyboria. No Conan.
My bad.
It's been forever since I read it. Just mashed it all together in my head and assumed it was in Howard's universe because it was his story.
I just remember she had guns and there was a Sultan and a harem.
Actually, to be completely clear, Red Sonya didn't appear in a Conan story. Shadow of the Vulture was a historical. Not in Hyboria. No Conan.My bad.
It's been forever since I read it. Just mashed it all together in my head and assumed it was in Howard's universe because it was his story.
I just remember she had guns and there was a Sultan and a harem.
Sort of - REHs Red Sonya is set during the Turkish siege of Vienna. Her sidekick is a drunken German Knight, she does indead use a pistol to blow a mans head off. She also wears armor.
I suspect we would have seen more stories about Red Sonya had REH not killed himself. There are a couple of similar stories set in France about a woman called Dark Agnes. If you have a kindle you can Get Shadow of the Vulture very cheap.
My review of the film...
It's not terrible. Not great either.... I love trashy movies, Red Sonya is not at the top of my list of fun bad movies to watch.
For a movie so very very bad it's good, I recommend Deathstalker II, watch the bloopers at the end.
Warning do not watch any other Deathstalker movies.
Red Sophia?
If I remember right, Arnold was only supposed to appear in the very beginning of the movie for a specific period of time, but they shot extra stuff. When the film came out and he was in it more than the contract allowed, he successfully sued the studio.
For a movie so very very bad it's good, I recommend Deathstalker II, watch the bloopers at the end.
Warning do not watch any other Deathstalker movies.
This is entirely accurate. Go do this right now.
I love this movie and also Flash Gordon and Supergirl. In fact I liked Supergirl more then most of the superman movies so far.
I love the Reeves superman movies (except for number three), but not Supergirl. Still, to each their own!
About anything was better than Conan the Destoyer, but that is not saying much! Red Sonja was an average B movie with little else to watch at the time in the fantasy realm.
I found that once I started thinking of Conan the Destroyer as not being a Conan movie, but instead being a D&D movie, I suddenly could appreciate it much more. It is now one of my favorite movies, after years of absolutely hating it.
My problem with Red Sonja was that weird super-mullet she had. Well that and the ridiculously large sword. And the kid's helper.
My problem with Red Sonja was super-awesome-silly 80s-ish tropes and constants it was dripping with.
I helped! :D
I don't recall how I felt about Conan the Destroyer.
I also liked both of the Conan movies but in different ways.
Conan the Destroyer was the watered down PG sequel to the classic Conan the Barbarian film. The movie did have some cool parts, but it could of been lots better than what it was. You also have to keep in mind these films were made in the 1980's when makeup and stop motion effects ruled the industry. They were not considered B movies because they were decent budget Hollywood releases.
Arnold is currently working on the direct sequel to the first Conan entitles "The Legend of Conan" which is due out in 2014. They are basically canceling out the Destroyer movie, and the other Conan movie with Jason Momoa. It will be about an older Conan and his empire, I guess he comes out of retirement and goes on another quest for his kingdom.
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Possibly the one movie in Arnie's career where his impressive chest measurements may have been eclipsed by his co-star's.
Are you sure that at the time the movie was made that Brigitte Nielsen had a more impressive chest measurement? ;)
I liked the movie anyway. Good fantasy is rare. Great fantasy is the LotR and not much else. So marginal fantasy is more the norm. This movie was at the high end of marginal fantasy. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad.
Since the movie was based more on the comic book, I would have preferred chain mail bikinis and an actress that truly surpassed Arnold's chest measurements. ;)
red sonja. shes one of my favorite characters because i kind of see her as the first barbaric paladin. no. really.
she was a simple farm girl from a no where village. raiders came and murdered her family. she was raped and nearly beaten to death. on deaths door, a forgotten goddess arrived to her, and asked her to become a holy warrior for her. she agreed and the goddess brought her back from deaths door with a blessing and a "paladin" code. she could not bed a man who hasn't beaten her in combat is the main part of that code, protecting other females from a similar fate as the one she endured is a seldom shown second part of that code.
she used the "chain mail" bikini not for protection, but for bluff. its not supposed to protect her from anything, her powers brought on by the goddess actually protects her. barry and roy wrote it in that most men underestimate her. she doesn't stand as is she knows how to fight, she just simply fights. her injuries are always minor.
she doesn't wield a sword with any skill, its again... brought on by her goddess given powers. if her goddess took away her powers from sonja, she would not know how to use a sword.
i always pictured her as aconduit to her goddess and whatever weapon she pics up moves itself more then she actually moves it, as if the weapon was possessed and moves itself in her hands.
she isn't supposed to be strong or muscular, she actually starts a a waif then turns curvy in her middle years.
shes tough because shes similar in many ways to solomon kane. his will and resolve gave him the great powers to do many of the things he did.
i don't think the movie cast the right girl, or made the costume correct. i don't know why hollywood at the time felt it needed arnold in the movie to carry it.
tbh, i am very pro chain mail bikini, frazetta, boris & julie bell art. and i want that look in my rpgs.
i also am aware i am in the minority.
red sonja. shes one of my favorite characters because i kind of see her as the first barbaric paladin. no. really.
she was a simple farm girl from a no where village. raiders came and murdered her family. she was raped and nearly beaten to death. on deaths door, a forgotten goddess arrived to her, and asked her to become a holy warrior for her. she agreed and the goddess brought her back from deaths door with a blessing and a "paladin" code. she could not bed a man who hasn't beaten her in combat is the main part of that code, protecting other females from a similar fate as the one she endured is a seldom shown second part of that code.
she used the "chain mail" bikini not for protection, but for bluff. its not supposed to protect her from anything, her powers brought on by the goddess actually protects her. barry and roy wrote it in that most men underestimate her. she doesn't stand as is she knows how to fight, she just simply fights. her injuries are always minor.
she doesn't wield a sword with any skill, its again... brought on by her goddess given powers. if her goddess took away her powers from sonja, she would not know how to use a sword.
i always pictured her as aconduit to her goddess and whatever weapon she pics up moves itself more then she actually moves it, as if the weapon was possessed and moves itself in her hands.
she isn't supposed to be strong or muscular, she actually starts a a waif then turns curvy in her middle years.
shes tough because shes similar in many ways to solomon kane. his will and resolve gave him the great powers to do many of the things he did.
i don't think the movie cast the right girl, or made the costume correct. i don't know why hollywood at the time felt it needed arnold in the movie to carry it.
tbh, i am very pro chain mail bikini, frazetta, boris & julie bell art. and i want that look in my rpgs.
i also am aware i am in the minority.
That character has nothing to do with REH's Red Sonya, Some talentless hacks perverted the original concept and situated the stories in Hyborea rather than Europe at the time of the Turkish conquests.
REH's fighting women were properly armored.
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I'm not all that fond of Red Sonja (and less of all the tropes based on her), but I'm not going to call Roy Thomas a talentless hack. Even less Barry Smith.That character has nothing to do with REH's Red Sonya, Some talentless hacks perverted the original conceptThat would be the folks at Marvel Comics, I think Who were shopping around for a "She-Conan" after the original Conan comic line proved to be a big seller.. Kind of like the same way they came out with a She-Tarzan, and a She-Hulk.
Hacks, maybe. Talentless, not at all. I still have a soft spot in my head for Thomas' Squadron Supreme limited series, and though I didn't think much of his later run on Dr. Strange I'm not going to pretend that's an objective judgment.
That character has nothing to do with REH's Red Sonya, Some talentless...red sonja. shes one of my favorite characters because i kind of see her as the first barbaric paladin. no. really.
she was a simple farm girl from a no where village. raiders came and murdered her family. she was raped and nearly beaten to death. on deaths door, a forgotten goddess arrived to her, and asked her to become a holy warrior for her. she agreed and the goddess brought her back from deaths door with a blessing and a "paladin" code. she could not bed a man who hasn't beaten her in combat is the main part of that code, protecting other females from a similar fate as the one she endured is a seldom shown second part of that code.
she used the "chain mail" bikini not for protection, but for bluff. its not supposed to protect her from anything, her powers brought on by the goddess actually protects her. barry and roy wrote it in that most men underestimate her. she doesn't stand as is she knows how to fight, she just simply fights. her injuries are always minor.
she doesn't wield a sword with any skill, its again... brought on by her goddess given powers. if her goddess took away her powers from sonja, she would not know how to use a sword.
i always pictured her as aconduit to her goddess and whatever weapon she pics up moves itself more then she actually moves it, as if the weapon was possessed and moves itself in her hands.
she isn't supposed to be strong or muscular, she actually starts a a waif then turns curvy in her middle years.
shes tough because shes similar in many ways to solomon kane. his will and resolve gave him the great powers to do many of the things he did.
i don't think the movie cast the right girl, or made the costume correct. i don't know why hollywood at the time felt it needed arnold in the movie to carry it.
tbh, i am very pro chain mail bikini, frazetta, boris & julie bell art. and i want that look in my rpgs.
i also am aware i am in the minority.
your observation doesn't change my opinion that i like "that" one, as much as the "original"
I'm going to disagree with your observation regarding the majority of "reh fighting women as armored"
not in conan, not in solomon kane, not in kull, not in bran mak morn.
Most of the characters went about unarmored. men and women alike.
conan famously wore whatever clothing was common to the region he was in at the time and picked up whatever weapon he found on the battlefield at the time.
yep i had to look back on my collection, and most of the leading ladies regarding conan are infact half naked. none of them are wearing armor.
belit: a shash and belt, and topless. pirates queen. her skill is leadership.
valaria: a shirt, shorts, blet, and shash. she gets naked later in the story red nails. the art from pre-frazetta has her naked on a sacrificial alter. pirate and mercenary. she is faster with a blade then conan and nearly a match.
my guess is since both women have some sort of nautical background, it would have been silly to put them in armor. but what about land?
zenobia: slave turned queen of aquilonia. mostly naked except for silks and chains until she becomes queen of aquilonia.
jenna: mostly naked, armed with a dagger. her skill was bluff, diplomacy and the occasional stabby stab.
conan himself only wears amor when he preps for combat. and most of his "adventure" combat comes on the fly.
the only person that wore armor constantly is paladinus, the leader of king conans elite guard the black dragons.
so there is reason for she devil with a sword to dress in the chain mail bikini, its just very fashionable to trash on it.
back to the red sonja movie. its campy but i like it. i got a few issues with it naturally, namely the actress. but its entertaining.
so there is reason for she devil with a sword to dress in the chain mail bikini, its just very fashionable to trash on it.No, there's still no reason for the chain mail bikini, other than the obvious. The others you mention are reasonable. They are clothing. Minimal sexy clothing perhaps. The chain mail bikini pretends to be armor, but isn't.
The complaint isn't that Red Sonja doesn't wear armor, it's that she wears stupid armor.
for red sonja, that particular set of armor has an exact purpose.
its not going to stop a weapon from causing damage. it would be stupid to think that. but it wound't be unreasonable that other women who are not protected by a goddesses influence would wear it for the same reason.that being said, bringing a dagger to a long sword duel would be stupid, unless of course the proper circumstance allowed the dagger to be used as it should, a killing blow when one least expects it.
the chain mail bikini is not a stupid armor, but an armor of circumstance. by pretending to be armor, it serves its exact purpose.
The chain mail bikini is stupid. It is also sexy. And that in the end is what sold comic books to teenage boys including me. Enough said!
i give up. =/
The chain mail bikini is stupid. It is also sexy. And that in the end is what sold comic books to teenage boys including me. Enough said!
And then there's the fact that in the first appearance of Red Sonja she wore a chainmail shirt with full-length sleeves. And hotpants, admittedly.
The chain mail bikini is stupid. It is also sexy. And that in the end is what sold comic books to teenage boys including me. Enough said!And then there's the fact that in the first appearance of Red Sonja she wore a chainmail shirt with full-length sleeves. And hotpants, admittedly.
That's a hard look to pull off, but Sonja has the legs for it.
I was wondering whether Christina Hendricks would fit the role if they ever decided to remake Red Sonja, and I've come to the conclusion that she would.
In fact, this is the best idea I'm ever, EVER likely to have. Definitely.
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Christina Hendricks would have been perfect 10 years ago in her full kick butt Saffron-like role. And don't get me wrong there is no one out there that I would want to see in a chain mail bikini more than Christina Hendricks. But at this point we may need to go with someone younger. It is true you will not find anyone hotter. But she will be 38 on May 3rd. You need someone younger that could do a few sequels.