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It's over word count. It's a meme. It's a real world item.
It is the ultimate camping item that makes adventuring safe.
It breaks many other wondrous item rules and probably invents a few new ones, BUT this WILL classify as Rule 27
Thanks Mum...
Mum
Aura strong abjuration, conjuration, divination, enchantment, evocation and necromancy; CL 20th
Slot none; Price priceless, you can never buy one; Weight varies.
Description
A magnificent life size statue of a beautiful lady is imbued with the ability to become as gentle as a butterfly or as fierce as a tiger in one segment and can self replicate once every twenty years.
When active, it can call your name in full, causing you to cease immediately any actions, drop anything you are holding and be frozen in fear for 1 round. This bypasses all fear immunity. Should the target of the shout try to hide, it will find them unerringly and imprison them in a chamber with just a bed and wardrobe for their comfort.
Should the target escape initial capture, they find they always unerringly are drawn to the lady whereupon they are set upon by savage point and finger wagging causing them to seek out injustice and right it in atonement for their sins.
They always know when you have committed an alignment infraction and will use the previously mentioned powers to call you to task.
When found in a pack, they are immune to all forms of attack and will instantly destroy any attackers. Even a king will quail before their demands for “a girl’s night out”.
Their secondary power “Hand it over” combined with “Now” is irresistible, bypassing all spell resistance and all immunity. You must hand over what they demand to be given.
But their greatest capacity is an aura of love that envelops you, cradling you to sleep and helping you forget the trials and monsters you face every day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, clone, demand, dimensional lock, discern location, dominate monster, finger of death, foresight, grasping hand, greater planar binding, greater prying eyes, imprisonment, mass hold monster, refuge; Cost not applicable, you can’t make one
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
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Cost not applicable, you can’t make one
Not entirely true. Using a magical process, I transformed a masterwork wife into one of these a long time ago. Also, the resulting byproduct has a chance to eventually develop these properties as well.
He he, the only rule I was aiming for was #27 :P
Anything else is fair game for wrongness.
p.s. I showed the wife, I was fine until the Hand it Over Now and promptly got slapped for my trouble. :D
From his wife!
Cost not applicable, you can’t make oneNot entirely true. Using a magical process, I transformed a masterwork wife into one of these a long time ago. Also, the resulting byproduct has a chance to eventually develop these properties as well.
That's the clone spell effect - the 20 year self replication function - nice to know it works in the real world too.
Funnily enough, if you knock the aura down to one and choose a single spell - it gets very close to being at the word limit!
But yes, chuckle away, that's what it's for, relieve that stress before voting day :)
... and can self replicate once every twenty years.
MTV would dispute this statement. ;p
Try watching your 20 year old daughter sat next to your wife watching a chick flick - it's uncannily scary at times >.<