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Coming from here, I figured: We need a thread for this crazyness (if there already isn't one.) Consider it sister to the Comically Misspelled spells thread.
For starters from mentioned thread:
+1 Shovel of Zombie Bane
+2 mug of dwarf bane (it said dwarven slayer, I found this a bit better)
And from me:
+1 Shovel of Dirt Bane
Bag of Molding
Bag of Folding
Battleaxe as an Instrument
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Pinapple, Apple, and Peach listed under the Fruit weapon group.
What? No Bananas, no Raspberries? Those are the real killers!
Also:
Ring of Thacko: This cursed ring reconfigures the method by which the wearer's attack rolls are calculated. Have fun!
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Dibs on the magic shovel.
What can I say? I'm a collector!
So is a Box of Cooking and a Mattress of hiding, but *shrug*
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Buttock of the titans?
-1 cursed spear - BackScratcher
Staff of Powder
Wand of Magic Mistletoe
"Tiny Coffee Golem" sounds like a pretty ridiculous item.
its true
Rod of Seven Pants
Muddrinker sword.
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Cloak of Goblinkind
Rug of Mothering
Carpet of Flies
Rod of Blunder
Broken iwin button.
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Feather Token: Ham Sandwich
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Figurine of Wondrous Power: Amber Cat-- when this small amber statuette of a housecoat is activated, it becomes a large, friendly tabby cat. Roll % to determine its actions: 01-25: curls up and takes a nap; 26-50: mews incessantly until fed; 51-75: paws at a random PC, purring loudly, does not stop until picked up; 76-00: Ignores party completely and wanders off.
The figurine can be used three times per day.
+3 turkey leg
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Bill of water (159 GP)
Bill of Electricity (135 GP)
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Tome of Painful Exercise
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Feather Token: Ham Sandwich
Deadly to aging musicians
Manual of Stealthy Dithering.
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Firebawl scroll: Summons a depressed fire elemental which rains down fire over everything in a 20ft radius (approximately the same as a Fireball spell, but targeted on the caster). Everybody in the radius can make a reflex save for half damage.
Fire Ball scroll: Teleports targets within a 20 ft radius to the Fire elemental plane, where they must succeed on Perform (dance) checks or take full Fireball damage. If they succeed they take half damage. No traditional Reflex save.
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Scroll of Read Scroll: This scroll once read, teaches it's user how to read this scroll. Self cast only.
Feather Fowl - Gain the flight speed of a chicken for 1 hour per level.
Bad of Vomiting
Necklace of choking
Headband of Journey. You must speak in lines from songs by Journey.
Amulet of natural Musk
I once misread the Axe of Forced Life as the Axe of Forced Wife. Does that count?
Amulet of soap - A bar of soap that does not diminish in size when used by its wielder. Wielder must wear it when not in use, though does not count as taking a spell item slot on the wielder.
Wand of Buttering
Scab of Protection
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Belt of Tumblr