"I thought we were burning the body..." Pipp whimpers, as he turns green watching Jyg'g brutalize the corpse.
Aevelyn shudders at the thought of that...thing that she gave 'birth' to. She decides to check the belt for magical auras.
Jyg'g calz diss burmmelling! Pummel and burrrrrnnnn! Moar fun dat way! MUAHAHAHAHA! Now youse playz some burmmelling musik, Pippee!
*thwack* *thwack* ...
Creeping up from from somewhere hidden in the forest that he doesn't even know how he got there, must have been the nymphs. Maulfeuer looks at what the tiny one is burning and with the stench creeping closer states "Even to me that refuse seems not be getting its just deserved rewards."
Aevelyn rushes over to her ‘boyfriend’ and gives him a big hug, all the while trying not to glance guiltily over at Heiron. ”Where have you been?”
"I musta took a wrong step back there, wondered around looking at all the possibilities, licking his lips at all the wonderful fire starting materials around "got tired and took a nap, and wound up lost. by the looks of things I missed the real fun"
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAZZZSSSHHH! BURNINATIN' DA COUNTRAYSIDE BEGINZ NOW! Now if youse cuse Jyg'g...
*thwack* *thwack* ...
goes hump dose hillz now. Hoo-Rah, biatch!
*thwack* *thwack* ...
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAZZZSSSHHH! BURNINATIN' DA COUNTRAYSIDE BEGINZ NOW! Now if youse cuse Jyg'g...
*thwack* *thwack* ...
goes hump dose hillz now. Hoo-Rah, biatch!
*thwack* *thwack* ...
I'd translate except that he's just giving us an orcling rendition of "This Little Piggy".
I think that we're ready to continue on. Shall we?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAZZZSSSHHH! BURNINATIN' DA COUNTRAYSIDE BEGINZ NOW! Now if youse cuse Jyg'g...
*thwack* *thwack* ...
goes hump dose hillz now. Hoo-Rah, biatch!
*thwack* *thwack* ...
I'd translate except that he's just giving us an orcling rendition of "This Little Piggy".
I think that we're ready to continue on. Shall we?
"We shall. now lets just let the little one lead. I don't want to feel little pricks in my backside"
"I don't want to feel little pricks in my backside"
HAY WASSIT PIPPEE? inquired the inquisitive orcling as he shoved his hand into the bard's pocket.
HAY WASSIT PIPPEE? inquired the inquisitive orcling as he shoved his hand into the bard's pocket.
"Is this some sort of orcling greeting? Well, likewise, my small friend!" Pipp says, attempting to shove his hand into Jyg'g's pocket.
Maulf stares at the orcling and Pipp with a look of bewilderment. "How does that little one swing? I shall sleep with my back to a tree from now on."
The orcling contemplates setting up a wave of mass arson across the kingdom out of sheer boredom. In the meantime, he continues to wiggle his little grubby hands through the aloof bard's pocketsssss....
Aevelyn shudders at the thought of that...thing that she gave 'birth' to. She decides to check the belt for magical auras.
With Mclovin the Omelette loving webtroll now but ashes, the heroes(?) now turn their short attention spans back to the quest at hand.
It is not hard to re-acquire the trail to the stone house of the Three Little Pigs, and after only a few short hours hike through a forest of giant Henna you find yourself coming to a clearing the center of which is dominated by a squat stone structure with a thatch roof. The door of this structure is solid oak and a chimney climbs up the west side of the home. There is a garden of bones, some humanoid, on the opposite side of the home..... you now stand only a dozen yards from the home of the infamous Three Little Pigs.
Jyg'g thursty. Can Jyg'g drank one ah does?
*someone swings at the orcling to slap his hand away. he never saw whom.*
Blergh! Jyg'g goes ah'stniffn the trail. If dere anyee bread crumms, dey're Jyg'gs!
The orcling blissfully leads the way...
Aevelyn whispers into Malfleurs ear, "I wonder if those nasty pigs are home right now?" She stares over at the clearing, looking for any signs of life or movement.
Perception:
Blergh! Jyg'g goes ah'stniffn the trail. If dere anyee bread crumms, dey're Jyg'gs!
Translation: "My hands are dirty. Anyone have some lotion?"
following Aevelyn's guidance Maulfeuer looks to see if there is anything special up ahead
perception:
"Why the little one needs lotion, I do not want to know"
Aevelyn whispers into Malfleurs ear, "I wonder if those nasty pigs are home right now?" She stares over at the clearing, looking for any signs of life or movement.
As you scan the surrounding area, you notice nothing noteworthy.
Perception: 1d20+5
Blergh! Jyg'g goes ah'stniffn the trail. If dere anyee bread crumms, dey're Jyg'gs!Translation: "My hands are dirty. Anyone have some lotion?"
Baz intently looks from one area of the clearing to the next.
"Righty ho. Do we knock on the door?"
following Aevelyn's guidance Maulfeuer looks to see if there is anything special up ahead
perception:1d20+2"Why the little one needs lotion, I do not want to know"
Maulfeuer stares bug-eyed at his surroundings.
"Righty ho. Do we knock on the door?"
Let's not be too hasty. I'd like to find out what they are trying to "cultivate" in their garden. Oh and Jyg'g -- could you please fetch that jug over by that tree please?
BttH
"Why the little one needs lotion, I do not want to know"
Aevelyn shudders, "You have NO idea how much that one needs lotion"
"Righty ho. Do we knock on the door?"Let's not be too hasty. I'd like to find out what they are trying to "cultivate" in their garden. Oh and Jyg'g -- could you please fetch that jug over by that tree please?
** spoiler omitted **
The orcling scratches his head in puzzlement.
Youse wahnts meh tah break open doorah wit dah jugg? Cans we mak its ah flamey jugg? Palueeeeeze?
He flutters what three wisps of eyelashes he has remaining. He trundles off to collect the broken earthware and returns to Baz's side with it in hand.
Youse wahnts meh tah break open doorah wit dah jugg? Cans we mak its ah flamey jugg? Palueeeeeze?
Maybe, but we'll have to deal with your turtle later.
I'm giving the DM a chance to catch up. Assuming Jyg'g makes it there and back -- is there anything interesting/special about the jug. And assuming that we didn't just stir up the proverbial "hornet's nest", I think we should make our way over to the garden to get a better look at what's going on over there.
The orcling scratches his head in puzzlement.
Youse wahnts meh tah break open doorah wit dah jugg? Cans we mak its ah flamey jugg? Palueeeeeze?
He flutters what three wisps of eyelashes he has remaining. He trundles off to collect the broken earthware and returns to Baz's side with it in hand.
[b]"how about we light you on fire and i throw you at the door?"or I lift you, you throw the jug then I throw to follow up?"
JYG'Gs AH *&^$&$&^^$$^&^$ &%$&$$ &*$&^$&%$ING ORCLING YA *&%*&$*& &*%&%% $&%&DOOSH%%%% &*&&^(*^(*^HOLE!
As he calms down...
But tah anshur yer awfer? Coitainly!
The Holy warrior examines the empty jug, and other than the smell of mushroom based spirits it is unremarkable. Whatever was in that jug was incredibly potent... you sure wouldn't want to drink that stuff anywhere near an open flame.
Pipp looks at the garden. "Pah. Look at it! Their bones grow all crooked!"
Naturally, oblivious to the double-entendre.
<skitter>
Pipp looks at the garden. "Pah. Look at it! Their bones grow all crooked!"
Naturally, oblivious to the double-entendre.
"Uhmm....Pipp.....those aren't...Oh nevermind
With a rushing boom and the smell of turkey, booze, and anti-depressants the time warp ends sending shivers down the spines of the stalwart heroes...
The bone garden is much like any other small country garden, only with broken gnawed upon bones jutting from the ground, almost as if the sadistic pigs expect to grow fresh victims from the bleached trophies. Still nothing rushes from the stone cottage to challenge you, but certainly your luck will no be eternal.
Aevelyn looks over the bone garden, and thinks, Gods, what a dump! while approaching cautiously.
"Achai! What a smell! By Hermes' heels, this bone garden is sure to be a nest of corruption waiting to send its fledglings forth to do evil." Hieron holds the caduceus before him in grim anticipation.
"Should we knock?"
"If you want those filthy pigs to have you for dinner, then by all means knock!"
"If someone is going to start dinner, I'm gonna join in!"
Mal tears a ribbon of cloth form somewhere, as well as grabs a flask of oil and a tindertwig. Just to get ready if a party needs started