The Haiku Game

[Hannibal Lecter]

Meat-lover's pizza,
Liver with some fava beans,
A nice chianti.

[TheChozyn]

A nice chianti
Some lotion in a basket
Life can be the pits

[Cuchulainn]

Life can be the pits
And it's seldom peachy keen
It cuts like a knife

[Celestial Healer]

It cuts like a knife.
No wait, it really is one.
Call an ambulance.

[Cuchulainn]

Call an ambulance
I'm not ambulatory
Gotta roll with it

[Charlie Bell]

Gotta roll with it
Two sides, ham, a glass of tea
Just $4.99

[Cuchulainn]

Just $4.99?
For an appendectomy?!
Who is the doctor?

[Charlie Bell]

Who is the Doctor
Who travels in the Tardis
Who is a Time Lord

[Cuchulainn]

Who is a Time Lord?
He invented time travel
When he bumped his head

[TheChozyn]

When he bumped his hed
I believe he went to bed
But did he wake up?

[Cuchulainn]

But did he wake up?
Not until morning, my friend
What a hangover!

[TheChozyn]

What a hangover!
Though last night I was super
Jagermeister! YUM!

[Cuchulainn]

Jagermeister! YUM!
But seven shots? Man, that's dumb!
Roll a Fort Save, dude

[Chris Mortika]

Roll a fort. Save dude
ranch yokels from seeing it
pushed onto its side.

[Cuchulainn]

interesting word play!

Pushed onto its side
The Gelatinous Cube was
Exactly the same

[Chris Mortika]

Exactly the same.
Reincarnate: human; I'm
a Chelish woman?

[The Jade]

A chelish woman
Thath what I called her an den
Da bish broke my mouf!

[Charlie Bell]

commentary:

I think The Jade broke the thread.

[The Jade]

Last Haiku: Guy with a busted mouth called his crazy girlfriend jealous. Just in case that wasn't gettable.

Da bish broke my mouf!
Shoving bible down my throat
He'll never make Pope

[Heathansson]

I was thinkin bout the broke mouf for a whilez

[Heathansson]

He'll never make Pope
That ole Cesare Borgia
He just too craaaazy.

[Heathansson]

aww yeeeeeeeeeah.

[The Jade]

He just too craaaazy
This one poster on Paizo
Y'all know who I mean

[Chris Mortika]

Y'all know who I mean
when I offer sacrifice
to the Nameless One.

[Heathansson]

To the Nameless One
who stole my lunch out the fridge......
Butt sweat on the bread.

[therealthom]

Butt sweat on the bread.
What kind of first line is that
Writer's block ensues

[Heathansson]

Writer's block ensues
then five vodka and tonics
pass out fitfully

[Cuchulainn]

Pass out fitfully
Inevitable result
Way too much yoga

[TheChozyn]

Way to much yoga
I thought it would regulate
Oh wait, that's yogurt.

[Cuchulainn]

Oh wait, that's Yogurt
He'll teach me to use my Schwartz
It's as big as his

[TheChozyn]

It's as big as his
But I don't think we should brag
Some people hate shrimp

[Cuchulainn]

Some people hate shrimp
But not Forrest's friend, Bubba
Of course, he's dead now

[Chris Mortika]

Of course, he's dead now.
When we raise him, we'll say, "Don't
zap the shambling mounds."

[Cuchulainn]

Zap the shambling mounds
Is that a euphemism?
It sounds so naughty

[Celestial Healer]

It sounds so naughty
Whenever I talk about
My Rod of Wonder

[The Jade]

My Rod of Wonder
Jellied those gnolls... then froze them!
We skate on blood pools

[Cuchulainn]

We skate on blood pools
Down in the eighth plane of Hell
You'll need a sweater

[TheChozyn]

You'll need a sweater
Unless you're a hairy guy
Can I get that shade?

[Cuchulainn]

Can I get that shade?
There wasn't a swatch for it
Can you whip it up?

[Charlie Bell]

Can you whip it up?
Whip it good, whip it real good
Just like Doctor Jones

[The Jade]

Just like Doctor Jones
I got a thing goin' on
With missus Jones... hot!

[Cuchulainn]

With missus Jones...hot!
She's an elementalist
She lights my fire

[TheChozyn]

She lights my Fire
I'm filled with a Purple Have
Along Watchtowers

[Cuchulainn]

Along watchtowers
Bowmen stand at the ready
Here comes the first wave

[therealthom]

Here comes the first wave

Jade's was better

Spoiler:

Ocean across USA
Yeah! Cowabunga

[The Jade]

All hail therealthom... untangler of threads!

Here comes the first wave
I'm one stoked big Kahuna
Paddle out with me

[Cuchulainn]

Paddle out with me
Masochistic aerobics
Now your cheeks are flushed

[The Jade]

Now your cheeks are flushed?!
That's a really strong toilet
We'll dredge the septic

[The Jade]

therealthom wrote:

Here comes the first wave

Great minds hang ten together.

[Chris Mortika]

We'll dredge the septic
sewers in this old-style dungeon.
Turn to page thirteen.

For whatever reason, Gary Gygax decided that Aging and Disease (including the subtable for parasitic infection) needed to be at the forefront of the 1st Edition DMG...