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Emily: Mom said the school is closed today because it's flooded, and there's feces everywhere!
Susie: What are feces?
Emily: Baby mice.
Susie: Awwwww.
Heh. I've heard that one before.
And just for the record...
True Story :)
Ever since College (Occidental in Los Angeles) I have seen a company vehicle in that are that delivers meat. The name on the vehicle?
D&D Meats ...
Now we know where all those kills from all those dungeons goes to :)
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True Story :)
Ever since College (Occidental in Los Angeles) I have seen a company vehicle in that are that delivers meat. The name on the vehicle?
D&D Meats ...
Now we know where all those kills from all those dungeons goes to :)
I know I'd never order from them. ... Or maybe I'd ONLY order from them.
Tough call.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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When I started working my current job, I was disappointed when I found out what my AD&D insurance really was.
The large fields granting bonuses to AC, formerly, one of my cogamers would get very flustered when 'large tracts of land' was mentioned. Thus we frequently would mention it.
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When I started working my current job, I was disappointed when I found out what my AD&D insurance really was.
The large fields granting bonuses to AC, formerly, one of my cogamers would get very flustered when 'large tracts of land' was mentioned. Thus we frequently would mention it.
Heh, I thought the exact same thing about my AD&D insurance. What a let-down.
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Gamerism: This past weekend, I pulled into the gas station and the only open pump was on the wrong side for my car's gas cap. So I had to turn around and back in. Of course, I ended up scraping along the safety barrier before getting in place. After I got out and was pumping, I noticed it was just the barrier, and not the pump, and found thinking to myself that hitting the pump would have been "a disaster of epic challenge ratings".
...I think I've found a new catchphrase. 8^)
I recall the player of the female half-elven fighter declaring that she can do 60 in a round...
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I was running a game of Agone (awesome system/setting btw) my players were a French girl and a Brazilian girl (never RP before). I'm a native English speaker. I describe a "demon horse" with a big bad knight on it. The Knight dismounts and heads off to look at something. The French player says she is going to have a look at the saddle bags on the horse. The Brazilian player then shouts "NO! Wait. That horse isn't human".
Ah, language.
S.
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I was running a game of Agone (awesome system/setting btw) my players were a French girl and a Brazilian girl (never RP before). I'm a native English speaker. I describe a "demon horse" with a big bad knight on it. The Knight dismounts and heads off to look at something. The French player says she is going to have a look at the saddle bags on the horse. The Brazilian player then shouts "NO! Wait. That horse isn't human".
Ah, language.
S.
That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
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I was running a game of Agone (awesome system/setting btw) my players were a French girl and a Brazilian girl (never RP before). I'm a native English speaker. I describe a "demon horse" with a big bad knight on it. The Knight dismounts and heads off to look at something. The French player says she is going to have a look at the saddle bags on the horse. The Brazilian player then shouts "NO! Wait. That horse isn't human".
Ah, language.
S.
Just remember to determine what a Gazebo is before facing it alone.
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Just remember to determine what a Gazebo is before facing it alone.HA!!!
This made me spit out the cookie I was eating! Too funny.
Please, SOMEBODY, find that old Thread and post a linkie for olde time's sake; it belongs in this Thread.
Oh, and while we're making requests, can someone also link the Head of Vecna thread?
Gorram work web filtering program...
I leave a d20 on my office windowsill with the 20 face up. I check it each time I go to my office to see if anyone has entered through the window.
When I broke into Tarren's office, I knocked over the d20, but I figured he probably kept it showing 20 like any gamer would. A word of advice Tarren, leave it on "4" from now on.
In one of the games I played in I had played a wizard named Jeremiah. Every time his name was mentioned, the whole group would break into song singing ...., yes, you guessed it, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog ..."
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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I leave a d20 on my office windowsill with the 20 face up. I check it each time I go to my office to see if anyone has entered through the window.When I broke into Tarren's office, I knocked over the d20, but I figured he probably kept it showing 20 like any gamer would. A word of advice Tarren, leave it on "4" from now on.
That explains why the apex of the 20 was facing the wrong direction!
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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One time back in high school one of my friends misread a magic card it was call exotic disease , well he called it erotic disease.
Oh gods I forgot that. Middle of a battle, the wizard player yells, "I cast Explosive Runs on him!"
Yes, the wizard misread his spellbook that morning and thought his new spell was hot to trot...
I prepared explosive runes today.
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Yes, this reminds me, in 6th grade I started making my own world. At the southern end of main continent was a peninsula the size of FL that was all unexplored jungle. It was, of course, innocently labeled "The Nether Regions."
In 8th grade, showing the map to a new gaming buddy, I was horribly embarassed to finally realize what I had inadvertantly designed. It seems sometime twixt 6th and 8th grade I learned what it meant. And laughs were had by all. Well, except me.
We were split up in a city, our Ranger had been arrested and was suffering in the city jail in the basements of the local castle. Our mage was able to locate and free him, but didn't know how to get back out with the ranger on his shoulders. He came upon a sewer grate that was stuck and locked. Not able to come up with anything better he set off a fireball which did remove the grate. Unfortunately, there were some other repercussions. The town suffered a specialized earthquake that seemed to be localized on the sewer system. For the rest of the night there were explosive whoomps going off throughout the city. At least the mage and the Ranger escaped.
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Back in high school, my uncle was running a game for me, my brother, and a few of our friends. One of our friends had joined the game a little late, and entered with the apparent intent to be disruptive. I'll call him Steve.
Steve's first character was intent on killing one of the other characters for no apparent reason. The character who he wanted to kill was named Abatiel, and was a minor noble who we were supposed to protect. I think he was just angry OOC that this other character got to be a noble and he didn't.
The assassination attempt was incredibly fun, as all the PCs attempted to ambush the killer PC. My character actually double-crossed the killer PC. I've never seen such furious note-passing and die-rolling. When it was all said and done, Abatiel was saved, and Steve's PC was dead at the end of my blade.
Things got worse from here. Steve created two more characters in succession; both of them attempted to betray the party and murder Abatiel, and both were killed by the party. The first one, I killed again. The second one was another great encounter.
We were traveling through dangerous mountains on our way to an enemy country. We were moving along a perilous ledge next to a drop of at least a mile down, when all of a sudden, Steve's PC bull rushes Abatiel off the edge. My PC immediately dove off the edge after him. I was able to catch Abatiel with a grapple-firing crossbow, while another PC with wings of flying flew down and caught me. It was awesome.
When we got back to the top, Abatiel immediately challenged Steve's PC to one-on-one combat to the death (Abatiel had taken the high road through all these assassination attempts, but by this point, both he and the player controlling him were fed up). Steve's PC was some kind of physically weak psion type, and Abatiel won initiative and decapitated him with a single clean sword stroke.
Now, this is when it gets a little strange. At this point, we've been playing together for several months, and we're currently in the middle of an all-night play session at a house belonging to a friend/coworker of my uncle. It's important to point out that up until this point, we've all been having fun playing. Even though things have become a little antagonistic, we've enjoyed the challenge of figuring out how to deal with the schemes of Steve, and he's enjoyed figuring out how to get away with stuff. We're all getting along, and we see each other at school every day. Everything is okay.
Which is why it was so surprising when Steve jumped up from the table, obviously upset, and declared "You're all out to get me! I can't stand it anymore!"
Apparently, unbeknown to the rest of us, Steve's view of the group dynamic had changed. We thought we were having friendly competition, but he had begun to think that the rest of the play group was purposefully ganging up on him in order to keep him in his place, or something.
We tried to explain to him that we were just playing in-character, that we really were enjoying playing with him, and that if he would just make a single PC that didn't try to kill everyone else things would be a lot easier.
But Steve wouldn't listen to any of it. He kept ranting, until he got to this gem:
"It's not fair that you people are harassing me! I'm the smartest person in this room!"
We all just had to stop while our mouths gaped. We couldn't believe he had just said that. I seem to remember that my uncle had to stand up and walk out of the room to control his reaction. I, along with another friend of mine (the one with wings of flying) were able to talk him down several notches, mainly by just ignoring the offensive remark and pretending it never happened.
He ended up making one more character; a Rakshasa PC who was blatantly upfront about his intention to be a nemesis to the party. The campaign fell apart pretty soon after that, and we didn't really hang out with Steve so much after that...
Edited to add: "I'm the smartest person in the room!" has become a common phrase around our table now.
Oh, and by odd circumstance, I found out this Spring that I was working next door to the place Steve worked (this was of course before I lost my job in the recession). We saw each other a couple times a week, always on pleasant terms. I even entertained the idea of inviting him to play with us again, just for the entertainment value of watching him destroy everything around him again...eventually I decided against it ;)
Wait a minute... they're NOT talking about or addressing you when they say, HD?
If true, then weird.
A few years back, most of my gaming group were recluent to change to Windows XP because it sounded like a 'munchkined' version of Windows (because we all know that munchkins are always after more XPs, of course)
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A few years back, most of my gaming group were recluent to change to Windows XP because it sounded like a 'munchkined' version of Windows (because we all know that munchkins are always after more XPs, of course)
I was reluctant to move over to Vista because my mind kept associating "Vista:XP::4e:3e" for some reason...
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A few years back, most of my gaming group were recluent to change to Windows XP because it sounded like a 'munchkined' version of Windows (because we all know that munchkins are always after more XPs, of course)I was reluctant to move over to Vista because my mind kept associating "Vista:XP::4e:3e" for some reason...
Funny I always saw 3e --> 4e more like WinXP --> Mac OS X
Ok, so a few nights ago my wife and I are driving home from having dinner out, and we get talking about gaming. She's thinking about rolling up a Gnome Bard for my upcoming Ravenloft campaign, and asks me about playing Gnomes and bards in general, since she's played neither.
Me: I haven't played too many Bards, or Gnomes really. My first was a Gnome/Magma half-Dragon Bard(long story). He got eaten by a T-Rex before I really got to do anything.
Her: Oh, ok, Sounds kinda weird.
Me: I had this other Bard I really loved playing. She was the DnD equivalent to Bjork, using cantrips to add light effects and ghost sounds to her performances. It was a lot of fun, the DM loved the character too.
Her: What happened to that character?
Me: She got eaten by a Black Dragon. She ended up living, and wrote a concept album about traveling inside the body of a dragon.
Her: So, you're telling me Gnome Bards have a tendency to get eaten.
Me: Yeah pretty much.
Funny I always saw 3e --> 4e more like WinXP --> Mac OS X
The OS analogy works really well as long as you specify which part of the game you're talking about. For example, I always think about the licensing... so the GSL tends to get painted as Windows and the OGL as Linux. Or more accurately, 3.5 is Unix and Pathfinder is a single linux distribution.
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The OS analogy works really well as long as you specify which part of the game you're talking about. For example, I always think about the licensing... so the GSL tends to get painted as Windows and the OGL as Linux. Or more accurately, 3.5 is Unix and Pathfinder is a single linux distribution.
Funny I always saw 3e --> 4e more like WinXP --> Mac OS X
I'm not so complicated, I was referring only to user friendless... :)
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Ok, so a few nights ago my wife and I are driving home from having dinner out, and we get talking about gaming. She's thinking about rolling up a Gnome Bard for my upcoming Ravenloft campaign, and asks me about playing Gnomes and bards in general, since she's played neither.
Me: I haven't played too many Bards, or Gnomes really. My first was a Gnome/Magma half-Dragon Bard(long story). He got eaten by a T-Rex before I really got to do anything.
Her: Oh, ok, Sounds kinda weird.
Me: I had this other Bard I really loved playing. She was the DnD equivalent to Bjork, using cantrips to add light effects and ghost sounds to her performances. It was a lot of fun, the DM loved the character too.
Her: What happened to that character?
Me: She got eaten by a Black Dragon. She ended up living, and wrote a concept album about traveling inside the body of a dragon.
Her: So, you're telling me Gnome Bards have a tendency to get eaten.
Me: Yeah pretty much.
Wow. That is totally awesome.
Just remember to determine what a Gazebo is before facing it alone.
And beware the whistling zephyr. I hear its song can drive you insane...
I used to game with a DM who always showed the holes in his vocabulary by reading blocks of flavor text. We used to derive great amusement at his expense. Some of my favorites:
A great pair of iron doors, flanked by burning brassieres... (braziers)
The old woman sits by the fire wrapped in a shawl and wearing a crotch-e-ted hat. (crocheted)
As you enter the room, you are immediately aware that something is aww-ree. (awry)
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Funny I always saw 3e --> 4e more like WinXP --> Mac OS XA few years back, most of my gaming group were recluent to change to Windows XP because it sounded like a 'munchkined' version of Windows (because we all know that munchkins are always after more XPs, of course)I was reluctant to move over to Vista because my mind kept associating "Vista:XP::4e:3e" for some reason...
Good things come to those who wait. I'm Mr. PFRPG / Win7 / Firefox.
one of the wierdest things to happen in one of my campaigns is the Were-Tiger Monk in my game using the cleric as an oversized holy weapon for the purposes as damage reduction to fight the evil succubi twin BBEGs.
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one of the wierdest things to happen in one of my campaigns is the Were-Tiger Monk in my game using the cleric as an oversized holy weapon for the purposes as damage reduction to fight the evil succubi twin BBEGs.
In one adventure, we used a paladin as ammunition for a makeshift ballista in order to take down a flying demon.
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I used to game with a DM who always showed the holes in his vocabulary by reading blocks of flavor text. We used to derive great amusement at his expense. Some of my favorites:
A great pair of iron doors, flanked by burning brassieres... (braziers)
The old woman sits by the fire wrapped in a shawl and wearing a crotch-e-ted hat. (crocheted)
As you enter the room, you are immediately aware that something is aww-ree. (awry)
One of our DMs is full of weird turns of phrase and weird word mis-usages. For example:
On one of his campaign maps, an area was labeled "hot magma." As opposed to cool magma, known in most circles as "rock."
He once described an NPC by saying "you see a man dressed all in black, but none of his clothes match." On the same tack, another NPC was a "strange-looking strange man," not to be confused with the "freaky-haired man with freaky hair."
This one speaks for itself. A much shortened version: "You walk into the room. It's about fifteen feet by fifteen feet, with lots of pictures and stuff on the walls... (etc..) Oh, and by the way, there's a hobgoblin attacking you. Sorry."
Finally, he even had a few little holes in his own vocabulary. I remember vividly the time the party was attacked by an "aw-gruh" (ogre), or the D20 Modern game in which our mercenary characters were paid in Russian "rubbles" (rubles). I believe we even encountered some burning brassieres ourselves, as well.
two and a half editions saying mellay instead of melee.
two and a half editions saying mellay instead of melee.
Then declare you speak french and your all set... But then you'd probably join the mêlée (brawl/fight) first and then engage your opponent in corps-à-corps (close-quarter fighting, or melee).
Like when an artist is called for an Encore after a show. It's a french word, but not the one that francophones use...
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This started back in 1983 and happened ever since....
>> Whenever the name of a major devil such as Asmodeus is spoken I ask the PC to drop whatever she is doing and roll the percentile dice. 01% means Asmodeus actually hears his name spoken and arrives to slay the PC. It does not matter whether it is spoken above board, or in-game...the roll is still made and I cannot help myself.
This started back when true names mattered and were ineffable or dangerous to say aloud. It is serious business to speak their names.
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This started back in 1983 and happened ever since....
>> Whenever the name of a major devil such as Asmodeus is spoken I ask the PC to drop whatever she is doing and roll the percentile dice. 01% means Asmodeus actually hears his name spoken and arrives to slay the PC. It does not matter whether it is spoken above board, or in-game...the roll is still made and I cannot help myself.
This started back when true names mattered and were ineffable or dangerous to say aloud. It is serious business to speak their names.
...
I think I have a new house rule.
This started back in 1983 and happened ever since....
>> Whenever the name of a major devil such as Asmodeus is spoken I ask the PC to drop whatever she is doing and roll the percentile dice. 01% means Asmodeus actually hears his name spoken and arrives to slay the PC. It does not matter whether it is spoken above board, or in-game...the roll is still made and I cannot help myself.
This started back when true names mattered and were ineffable or dangerous to say aloud. It is serious business to speak their names.
...
I think I have a new house rule.
Yeah, this one's always been a biggie for me. I do it for Gods too.
In one campaign in FR a group found something with the Lady of Loss's symbol on it, and I asked for Religion/Arcana rolls to identify it. The wizard was the only one who passed, and he blurted out "Oh I know that symbol, it's Shar. OH S*#@." Then the lights went out.
RE: Pronunciation - what is the proper for each? I've always said may-lay and dr-ow (like OW that hurt).
two and a half editions saying mellay instead of melee.I still say it that way. And I'm a linguist. *shrugs* Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree with the 'proper' pronunciation.
I still say Drow as "DrOH"
I say DrOH as well. I think it sounds better then DrOW and since we are talking about a fictitious creature - I don't buy there is a 'correct pronunciation'.
Related to that, I knew a gamer who pronounced Lich as 'Lick'. Made for interesting gaming when the DM warns you "A 20th level LICK attacks you". What is that - A twenty foot razor sharp tongue?
One of my current players has a real gift for stumbling into sexual innuendos.
Recently, the characters joined forces with a Kobold Fighter with a Giant Weasel as his steed. 'Cassi' (female player / female Elf Druid) shouts with glee "I really wanna ride your Weasel!!!"
The whole table lost it, particularly her girlfriend.
Many moons ago I decided to try out Vampire LARPing. So all these people meet at this river/walk shopping area in the middle of the night (very nice area for this kind of thing); anyway for the first 15 min I'm really lost and keep asking people "are we playing,NOW" sometimes you just can't tell with that crowd...So we finaly get into the meat of the game (us new guys meeting the Prince) when all of a sudden a group of Werewolf players show up- and they want to rumble! So now our rather large group of Vampire LARPers are going at it with the Werewolf players. Dozens of people are jumping around throwing 'rock-paper-sissors' at each other (I was brutaly slain BTW). It was probably the strangest gang war of all time. Afterwards we went to Denney's.
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Hmm... let's see. When no one is paying attention in our games I usually start humming and air drumming to the soundtrack that's currently playing. Usually it ends with four very confused stares.
Also we can't help but relapse into fits of juvenile humor whenever someone mentions the wizard's wand or staff -- we didn't get anything done the night when the wizard pulled the barbarian ashore with his staff.
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this isn't my confession, but one for a player in my D&D 3.5 game in prison. We were playing in the prison yard, next to the weight pile, nice day, about 200 inmates milling around, working out, shooting the breeze around us.
One of my players was a pixie rogue (reincarnated human, long story) who kept doing things that made the party wonder about him, like putting platinum pieces in fallen foe's mouths, tapping three times with his bow every time he went underground, all kinds of OCD type stuff. Finally, one of the characters asked Knox what he was doing. Knox replied, "Well, these are things I do." Other character asked why. Knox shouted as loud as he could:
You could hear a pin drop. We just stared at him for a few seconds when one of the players, a shot caller for one of the Crip factions and an all around good dude, looked aroun d and said "Don't get any ideas y'all, he's taken".
Knox's player didn't live that down at our table for quite some time...
this isn't my confession, but one for a player in my D&D 3.5 game in prison. We were playing in the prison yard, next to the weight pile, nice day, about 200 inmates milling around, working out, shooting the breeze around us.
One of my players was a pixie rogue (reincarnated human, long story) who kept doing things that made the party wonder about him, like putting platinum pieces in fallen foe's mouths, tapping three times with his bow every time he went underground, all kinds of OCD type stuff. Finally, one of the characters asked Knox what he was doing. Knox replied, "Well, these are things I do." Other character asked why. Knox shouted as loud as he could:
You could hear a pin drop. We just stared at him for a few seconds when one of the players, a shot caller for one of the Crip factions and an all around good dude, looked aroun d and said "Don't get any ideas y'all, he's taken".
Knox's player didn't live that down at our table for quite some time...
I think it f'ing cool people in prison play D&D too. From all the reality TV and film about prison life you wouldn't think that people would open up and play an RPG.
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this isn't my confession, but one for a player in my D&D 3.5 game in prison. We were playing in the prison yard, next to the weight pile, nice day, about 200 inmates milling around, working out, shooting the breeze around us.
One of my players was a pixie rogue (reincarnated human, long story) who kept doing things that made the party wonder about him, like putting platinum pieces in fallen foe's mouths, tapping three times with his bow every time he went underground, all kinds of OCD type stuff. Finally, one of the characters asked Knox what he was doing. Knox replied, "Well, these are things I do." Other character asked why. Knox shouted as loud as he could:
You could hear a pin drop. We just stared at him for a few seconds when one of the players, a shot caller for one of the Crip factions and an all around good dude, looked aroun d and said "Don't get any ideas y'all, he's taken".
You, dear Sir, are my new hero. *bows down* I'm very happy to hear that even in some very... difficult times, people are still able to game and have a good time.
*tips hat*
two and a half editions saying mellay instead of melee.I still say it that way. And I'm a linguist. *shrugs* Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree with the 'proper' pronunciation.
Well, I still pronounce it that way too, but now I do it ironically.
Could never think of Drow as droh though. It always rhymed with cow for me.
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And this one just happened a few hours ago.
My wife has been running a VERY long term game world. Since 1e AD&D or earlier. The Elves of this world are total a**holes. Racist, superioristic, enslaving and just overall total poncy Sons of...
Well, she's been trying to get someone to play an Elf in this world since it started. No one ever has. Until she proposed a playtest of the four released APG new classes. (Cavalier, Summoner, Oracle, Witch)
The Elves are the only race on the world with an established history of knighthood, though Humans have a few. So, I immediately decide to play an Elf. But... well... I need some inspiration.
Thus and so, I punch up youtube and find Dennis Leary's "A**hole song"...
And I sing along at the top of my lungs, with my wife following along verbatim the whole way. And then we declare that this character is a Cavalier of the Dragon. I read of the description and we have a long laugh at this.
And I STILL have that song stuck in my head.
Strange, but very true.
two and a half editions saying mellay instead of melee.I still say it that way. And I'm a linguist. *shrugs* Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree with the 'proper' pronunciation.
I still say Drow as "DrOH"
I say DrOH as well. I think it sounds better then DrOW and since we are talking about a fictitious creature - I don't buy there is a 'correct pronunciation'.
Related to that, I knew a gamer who pronounced Lich as 'Lick'. Made for interesting gaming when the DM warns you "A 20th level LICK attacks you". What is that - A twenty foot razor sharp tongue?
I say DrOH as well. I had a player that once insisted I say it the other way because he couldn't possibly be scared of a monster with a name he could sing as "Drow, drow, drow your boat..."
I simply replied that it didn't sound any scarier when I said "How now, brown drow?"
His character was later killed by drow.