You go to Turkey and get a club sandwich. When you try to go to Belgium, however, they arrest you on suspicion of terrorism. As your last request, you ask for the beer. Then they hang you.
Ouch. Slaadi have fast healing/regeneration. I don't think hanging would kill me, so that would hurt a lot for a long time.
oh, and...
Make a Wish!
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You go to Turkey and get a club sandwich. When you try to go to Belgium, however, they arrest you on suspicion of terrorism. As your last request, you ask for the beer. Then they hang you.Ouch. Slaadi have fast healing/regeneration. I don't think hanging would kill me, so that would hurt a lot for a long time.
oh, and...
Make a Wish!
Gah! Ninja'd!
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You go to Turkey and get a club sandwich. When you try to go to Belgium, however, they arrest you on suspicion of terrorism. As your last request, you ask for the beer. Then they hang you.Ouch. Slaadi have fast healing/regeneration. I don't think hanging would kill me, so that would hurt a lot for a long time.
oh, and...
Make a Wish!
And you're a bunny. Bunnies are not slaad, though they can be evil.
Gah! Ninja'd!
Oooo, Eekster Buhnay, eXtra seXXah Ninja Slaad has a nice ring to it.
I wish I could survive indefinitely without sleeping.
Wait {peers suspiciously at your avatar} You're already a dracolich, right? Aren't you already immune to Sleep?
And you're a bunny. Bunnies are not slaad, though they can be evil.
You should mouse-over my name. I felt like becoming Eekster Buhnay to distribute colored eggs and chocolate-covered dretchings to the Eeevilll(tm) Pood-dulls, but they weren't having it. Anyway, I'm much more Sylvilagus Hefnerus than, say, Sylvilagus floridanus.
I can't believe no one has pointed out that Belgium doesn't do the death penalty (it's part of the EU). I was all ready to add this: "You are transported back in time, then teleported to Turkey..."
{vapidly:} Forgot that, silly me {giggles} So much for AP World History in high school.
Normally, my word association with Belgium goes: Beer, chocolate, french fries, SOX, waffles, WWII... 'no death penalty' isn't even on my mental radar.
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Gah! Ninja'd!Oooo, Eekster Buhnay, eXtra seXXah Ninja Slaad has a nice ring to it.
I wish I could survive indefinitely without sleeping.Wait {peers suspiciously at your avatar} You're already a dracolich, right? Aren't you already immune to Sleep?
And you're a bunny. Bunnies are not slaad, though they can be evil.You should mouse-over my name. I felt like becoming Eekster Buhnay to distribute colored eggs and chocolate-covered dretchings to the Eeevilll(tm) Pood-dulls, but they weren't having it. Anyway, I'm much more Sylvilagus Hefnerus than, say, Sylvilagus floridanus.
RRG! Everyone always gets me confused with the stupid kobold. I am a
And that is a valid wish.
Valid comes looking for his wish, and sees you.
I wish jump 1 minute into the past.
I wish jump 1 minute into the past.
GRANTED
A smaller-than-normal gnome walks up and shakes your hand. "Welcome, welcome." {glances at your wrist} Ah, I see you forgot to reset your watch when you stepped in. You're on Gnomish Savings Time now, officially one minute previous. OK, glad to be of help, now on your way, on your way. The next You will be here in another 43 seconds and we can't have a Causality Violation."
He ushers you through a strangely warped door (that you are pretty sure wasn't there seconds ago). As you try to figure it what is going on here, you fail your Perception check to notice the gnome on stilts walking up behind you. He swings a huge metal mallet back over his head -- nearly tumbling over backwards himself -- and says "Excuse me, please." You last thing you ever see is the logo stamped on the face of the mallet -- "Skull Holistic Integrity Tester 0.1a"...
I wish: that Poodles always had minty-fresh breath.
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I wish: that Poodles always had minty-fresh breath.
You notice that a strange old man is wandering around your neighborhood, pouring Minty Fresh Listerine on every pile of dog poop he encounters.
I wish that I could do any sort of crazy, dangerous, or illegal act without getting harmed, arrested, killed, or committed to a mental institution.
I wish that I could do any sort of crazy, dangerous, or illegal act without getting harmed, arrested, killed, or committed to a mental institution.
Granted. Unfortunately, now that your term as President of the United Statese is over, no one much cares about you.
I wish I had an easier time finding shoes that fit.
I wish that I could do any sort of crazy, dangerous, or illegal act without getting harmed, arrested, killed, or committed to a mental institution.
GRANTED It's here, it's here... your new copy of Grand Theft Sims 12 is here!!! You quickly don your TouchieFeelie(tm) VR suit, hook up the caffeinated IV drip, perch your butt upon the new porta-pottie, and log in...
Around the world, Am*z*n finishes delivering the 2.1 billion copies of the latest Rockxxis game. Two new records are set that day: "Most Copies Sold of a Video Game" and "Fastest Decline in the World Productivity"...
...
I wish... that Nasty Pajamas had a nice pair of pajamas to wear.
edit: Argh. ninjaed!
I wish I had an easier time finding shoes that fit.
GRANTED
It was tough going there for a bit, but that comes with being the world's first genetically-engineered centaur. Some celebrity was also to be expected, but not anything like the world-wide popularity you'd experienced. With fame, came opportunities... which quickly led to both wealth and power. In a surprising short amount of time, you became the most successful actor/entertainer in history, and then two decades later, the next Executive Monarch -- the President of the United Empire of North America. You 'won' the election on the promise of "the most sweeping changes since 2009."
And now, less than 30 days into office, you prepare to sign your first executive edict... the Imperial Reshoe-ing Act. To bad these idiot Congressional hoo-mans were too busy loading up the pork-barrel addons to actually read the fine print of the bill. Yes, no one will ever again make fun of your unique footwear -- because soon, everyone will soon be wearing the same type and the same size of new shoes (mass produced in steel mills) that are permanently affixed to their feet.
And now, you will always find shoes that fit.
And I still wish... Nasty Pajamas had nice pajamas to wear.
And I still wish... Nasty Pajamas had nice pajamas to wear.
Granted! Nasty Pajamas returns your pajamas back to and goes off to find a nice new pair to wear. It seems he was the reason your couldn't find them for so long. A UV light reveals that you really shouldn't touch them...
I wish... a wish. Twist away.
Nasty Pajamas returns your pajamas back
Yay! (and wearing girl's pjs? Kinky too!)...
...A UV light reveals that you really shouldn't touch them...I've been hanging around Poodles & Slaadi, and been through the digestive tract of Jackskunk, it can't be- {waves UV light} O M G !!! Well, now I have good guess as to where the 'Nasty" part comes from and why they smell strongly like Jubilex & Poodle.
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I wish... a wish. Twist away.
You become a genie, and are constantly receiving other people's wishes.
Unfortunately, you are not the kind of genie that can actually grant wishes, so the people seeking your aid form an angry mob when you are unable to fulfill their requests.
I wish for a nice, delicious, unspoiled piece of milk chocolate.
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I wish... a wish. Twist away.
You become a genie, and are constantly receiving other people's wishes.
Unfortunately, you are not the kind of genie that can actually grant wishes, so the people seeking your aid form an angry mob when you are unable to fulfill their requests.
I wish for a nice, delicious, unspoiled piece of milk chocolate.
Granted! It comes sealed inside a block of adamantine to keep it fresh. (Titanium for the realists. 8^)
I wish I were independently wealthy, from a perfectly legal, moral, and ethical source that doesn't involve harming someone else.
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I wish I were independently wealthy, from a perfectly legal, moral, and ethical source that doesn't involve harming someone else.
Granted! You are far and away the wealthiest person on the planet. So wealthy, in fact, that virtually every country in the world feels that you should pay your "fair share" of taxes. The U.N. convenes, and by international treaty devises a special tax bracket just for you.
Being an honest, ethical person, you pay. By the time all the tax receipts have been paid, your wealth is gone. You have to get a job just to support yourself.
It's really gonna suck when next year's tax season comes around!
I wish the office building where I work would vanish in the middle of the night, only to be replaced with a large, outdoor mosh pit filled with foam bubbles.
I wish for ... nothing.
GRANTED
"Nothing," the former invisible puppy of "Not Me" is all grown up now and wisked away to your side. Unfortunately, he had run away from Not Me and the Keane home several days ago, and then got bitten by a rabid raccoon. Nothing, having seen Old Yeller on tv, decides to take you out before you can get the shotgun...
I wish... for world peas (not peace, peas)!
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I wish for ... nothing.GRANTED
"Nothing," the former invisible puppy of "Not Me" is all grown up now and wisked away to your side. Unfortunately, he had run away from Not Me and the Keane home several days ago, and then got bitten by a rabid raccoon. Nothing, having seen Old Yeller on tv, decides to take you out before you can get the shotgun...
ROTFLMAO!
I wish for ... nothing.GRANTED
"Nothing," the former invisible puppy of "Not Me" is all grown up now and wisked away to your side. Unfortunately, he had run away from Not Me and the Keane home several days ago, and then got bitten by a rabid raccoon. Nothing, having seen Old Yeller on tv, decides to take you out before you can get the shotgun...
I wish... for world peas (not peace, peas)!
Granted, Upon further inspection, it seems as if pluto is not a asteroid or a planet, but a giant flash frozen pea stalking it's moratl enemy, the Eekster Buhnay!
I wish I opened peoples eyes to the magics of the world
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I wish for ... nothing.GRANTED
"Nothing," the former invisible puppy of "Not Me" is all grown up now and wisked away to your side. Unfortunately, he had run away from Not Me and the Keane home several days ago, and then got bitten by a rabid raccoon. Nothing, having seen Old Yeller on tv, decides to take you out before you can get the shotgun...
I wish... for world peas (not peace, peas)!
All water is suddenly turned into peas. Since humans are 70% percent water, everyone explodes into peas.
I wish all peas became freshwater.
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I wish for ... nothing.GRANTED
"Nothing," the former invisible puppy of "Not Me" is all grown up now and wisked away to your side. Unfortunately, he had run away from Not Me and the Keane home several days ago, and then got bitten by a rabid raccoon. Nothing, having seen Old Yeller on tv, decides to take you out before you can get the shotgun...
I wish... for world peas (not peace, peas)!
Granted, Upon further inspection, it seems as if pluto is not a asteroid or a planet, but a giant flash frozen pea stalking it's moratl enemy, the Eekster Buhnay!
I wish I opened peoples eyes to the magics of the world
Gah! Ninja'd and I didn't even notice it!
GrumbleAnyone you see loses their eyelids. Now they will always be able to see the magic of the world, but if they aren't careful their eyes dry out at night and they experience excruciating pain in the morning (or they go blind). Eventually a mob of angry people comes to your house with torches and riding lawn mowers, and kill you in retribution.
I wish all peas became freshwater. (Peas as in the vegetable)
I wish all peas became freshwater. (Peas as in the vegetable)
Granted! Unbeknownst to the world at large, peas have a genetic marker that causes them to become motile engines of destruction when grown in fresh water. The carnage is unbelievable, as everyone is consumed by Killer Peas!
I wish the FaWTL thread would move out of "OTD" and back to "Website Feedback".
I wish the FaWTL thread would move out of "OTD" and back to "Website Feedback".
GRANTED
The Great & Wise Master of the Web's Sight wiggles his fingers somatically and POOF- the "OTD" section is now known as "Website Feedback." With two "Website Feedback" sections, your brain decides that Law and Sanity are highly overrated. As you fight to repress your mad giggles, you feel right at home here.
I wish... Taig was a big, tree-hugging, cuddly-wuddly, loveable ol' hippeh badger. :)
I wish the FaWTL thread would move out of "OTD" and back to "Website Feedback".GRANTED
The Great & Wise Master of the Web's Sight wiggles his fingers somatically and POOF- the "OTD" section is now known as "Website Feedback." With two "Website Feedback" sections, your brain decides that Law and Sanity are highly overrated. As you fight to repress your mad giggles, you feel right at home here.
I wish... Taig was a big, tree-hugging, cuddly-wuddly, loveable ol' hippeh badger. :)
Granted. Taig becomes Richard Simmons
I wish that I coulud actually find motivation to write the contiuation of "Caught by a Succubus"
Granted. Taig becomes Richard Simmons
I wish that I coulud actually find motivation to write the contiuation of "Caught by a Succubus"
Going to prison for a crime you didn't commit gives you plenty of time to pursue your writing career.
I wish the Coca Cola company would apologise for its South American atrocities.
I wish the Coca Cola company would apologise for its South American atrocities.
Fine. Today, Coca-Cola admits the atrocities it has committed in the name of business. In other news, Iran is going through another peaceful election, Germany is mourning the tenth anniversary of the death of that famed supporter of Judaism, Adolf Hitler, and cats and dogs continue to live together in perfect harmony. Tune in for more news at 23.
In other words, they admit it in that crazy opposite dimension, but they continue being soulless here.
I wish there was a better movie in theaters currently, that will continue being shown at a time I can watch it.
I wish the Coca Cola company would apologise for its South American atrocities.Fine. Today, Coca-Cola admits the atrocities it has committed in the name of business. In other news, Iran is going through another peaceful election, Germany is mourning the tenth anniversary of the death of that famed supporter of Judaism, Adolf Hitler, and cats and dogs continue to live together in perfect harmony. Tune in for more news at 23.
In other words, they admit it in that crazy opposite dimension, but they continue being soulless here.
I wish there was a better movie in theaters currently, that will continue being shown at a time I can watch it.
Granted. Pathfinder becomes a movie, it is directed by all of its fans...cept for Vomit Guy...eeek....the movie is a smash hit, grossing 500M it's opening weekend
as a bonus, any moviegoer who can answer correctly this question: what exactly is a d21? gets both their own d21 signed by the ghost of sir Gygax and a creature made in their honor in the next bestiary!
I wish I hand shoulder-length eyebrow dreadlocks!
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I wish the Coca Cola company would apologise for its South American atrocities.Fine. Today, Coca-Cola admits the atrocities it has committed in the name of business. In other news, Iran is going through another peaceful election, Germany is mourning the tenth anniversary of the death of that famed supporter of Judaism, Adolf Hitler, and cats and dogs continue to live together in perfect harmony. Tune in for more news at 23.
In other words, they admit it in that crazy opposite dimension, but they continue being soulless here.
I wish there was a better movie in theaters currently, that will continue being shown at a time I can watch it.
Granted. Pathfinder becomes a movie, it is directed by all of its fans...cept for Vomit Guy...eeek....the movie is a smash hit, grossing 500M it's opening weekend
as a bonus, any moviegoer who can answer correctly this question: what exactly is a d21? gets both their own d21 signed by the ghost of sir Gygax and a creature made in their honor in the next bestiary!
I wish I hand shoulder-length eyebrow dreadlocks!
ZOT! Your name is now Biff, and you live in a wildly bizarre world watched each weekday by avid webgeeks. You never have a moment's peace again, spending your time fighting with giant squid in your breakfast cereal and hunting down your rocket fists.
I wish I didn't wish this wish.
I wish I didn't wish this wish.Granted. You have responded to the previous poster's wish, but your wish has been revoked. This thread grinds to a halt because you have broken the chain of wishes, and no one has anything to respond to.
I wish I hadn't forgotten to take my iPod with me this morning.
Yay!
Anyways, granted. A magical spirit comes and goes back in time for you and reminds you about the iPod. However, it 'accidentally' takes your credit card, and loses it in an alley not long after.
Anyways, granted. A magical spirit comes and goes back in time for you and reminds you about the iPod. However, it 'accidentally' takes your credit card, and loses it in an alley not long after.
{whispers} Pssst, make a wish.
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Granted. Pathfinder becomes a movie, it is directed by all of its fans...cept for Vomit Guy...eeek....the movie is a smash hit, grossing 500M it's opening weekend
as a bonus, any moviegoer who can answer correctly this question: what exactly is a d21? gets both their own d21 signed by the ghost of sir Gygax and a creature made in their honor in the next bestiary!
That's not very twisted.
That's not very twisted.
Sure it is. The movie studio decides that because of the success, they want even more money. So they bring in Michael Bay to direct the next two sequals...
I wish... I could fit better into this waitress outfit (had too much to eat for lunch).
That's not very twisted.Sure it is. The movie studio decides that because of the success, they want even more money. So they bring in Michael Bay to direct the next two sequals...
I wish... I could fit better into this waitress outfit (had too much to eat for lunch).
Hey, that could still be pretty good, if Bay is properly tempered with a decent writer. Besides, who doesn't want to see Shia-as-Heathansson and Generic-Hot-Chick-As-Lilith running away from an enormous explosion?
EDIT: Oh yeah. the wish. Via some bizzare magic, your clothing automatically resizes itself to your current size. Without this warning sign for weight gain, within a few months you have become one of those people on TLC that can't move under the weight of their flab. At least your clothes still fit.
I wish Lucio Parrillo would have a piece of work published that isn't an unnaturally-busty lady or a guy in entirely-too-much shadow.
Anyways, granted. A magical spirit comes and goes back in time for you and reminds you about the iPod. However, it 'accidentally' takes your credit card, and loses it in an alley not long after.{whispers} Pssst, make a wish.
Do I look like a moron? I'm not making a wish here, this thread is voted #2 most likely thread on the internet to accidentally summon malign genies.
Granted. You do not make a wish, despite having the only brief window in which your wish would have come to fruition. You later learn of your loss, and are tormented by what could have been.
I wish that Paizo would make miniatures scale maps of AP maps.
Granted. The verbal onslaught of crosswiredmind and scott betts convinces Paizo that they should switch to 4E. They do - releasing all their APs with miniature scale battlemaps.
I wish I'd seen this thread earlier.
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I wish I'd seen this thread earlier.
Granted. You are taken back in time where you post a poorly worded wish. The act of travelling back in time has attracted the attention of mysterious cosmic entities, who observe the post that you have travelled back in time to write. They take it as a serious wish and twist it, and calamity ensues.
I wish the cheeseburger and fries that I am going to eat today were not going to make me fatter.
Granted, you are overcome by horrible, near instantaneous diarrhea that prevents you from absorbing ANY nutrients in the food you eat. You spend the rest of the day on the toilet.
I wish that a sick wish master would twist the words of my wish so that some horrid fate would befall me, others, or even the whole world.
I wish that a sick wish master would twist the words of my wish so that some horrid fate would befall me, others, or even the whole world.
Alright. You're wish is granted and nothing happens, leaving this bizzare fetish of yours unfulfilled you sick, sick man.
You see that wish I wished for in my last post on this thread? I still wish for that.
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I wish that a sick wish master would twist the words of my wish so that some horrid fate would befall me, others, or even the whole world.Alright. You're wish is granted and nothing happens, leaving this bizzare fetish of yours unfulfilled you sick, sick man.
You see that wish I wished for in my last post on this thread? I still wish for that.
Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to see those links...
Oh, don't worry, both pictures are entirely work-safe. Besides, it's not even the most unnaturally-physiqued female drawing I've seen of his. (I'm looking at you, Sea Tyrant Oracle!) Really, he does do good fantasy art, just not enough range for my taste.
EDIT: Work-Safe in the only-vaguely-pornographic sense, like most females in fantasy art. Still, don't want people looking over your shoulder while you're looking at it.
I wish Lucio Parrillo would have a piece of work published that isn't an unnaturally-busty lady or a guy in entirely-too-much shadow.
Lucio's outstanding paintings of cigarette butts stimulate him professionally, but he lapses into obscurity, except for you, his only fan. He ends up dying of emphesema from the process of manufacturing subjects for his carcinogenic still-lifes. His studio is so full of butts that the building is cleared by hazmat disposal experts. You then decide to continue his life work, and develop a nicotine and art habit that consumes you in turn.
I wish that HP printer ink were as cheap as oil (as of this post), and not more expensive than gold, as it currently is.