I've been called away to trim hedges at my shop, When I get back I'll finish by using the hedge trimmer to give mokmurian a shave, we'll resume this at 3:00pm.
Oooh, there are so many openings here.....must refrain....think of the young ones that may read....
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If I have to explain the difference between me and a dirty little lizard-dog to you, then we're going to have to give you an honorary "special" win ribbon and leave it at that. I don't fight with the disadvantaged.
Oh I can tell the difference between you and kobolds. I just deny their culpability in the fungus' genesis. It's like saying "the tractor gave me ghonnoreah". I just don't buy it.
What? You're back? And able to walk? OK, my name is older than Rise of the Rune Lords, so no relation, Last of the Knights (in his own head). And enjoy that trimmin', cuz those are the only branches you'll run into today that don't slap the beegip outta ya before you can get anywhere near them. Finally, if the Cleaver isn't enough entertainment for you:
Jyu1ch1, I hate to say this, but he was tryin' to call yr momma a kobold.
I gotta get back to work now, so I hope that'll tide you over. If not, just go back and reread my previous posts to relive your earlier smackdown, courtesy of M.
PS The Norwegians called. They said thanks for making them look good.
PPS Anyone work out the time on that last response?
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I gotta get back to work now, so I hope that'll tide you over. If not, just go back and reread my previous posts to relive your earlier smackdown, courtesy of M.
You considered that a smackdown? hah, your smackdowns are like a bad fart, a lot of noise and nothing to show for it but a lingering stench in the air when you finish. I've seen better smackdowns in candyland games markruinion (yes the misspell is an intentional anagram) I also have to go back, now that I've stunted your cousins' growths I have to remove all the dead limbs lying around.
fight fight fight!
All I hear is talk in this thread. You three need to get to fighting.
My my mama isn't a kolbold. =(
My bets on the Greenman.=3
*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
fight fight fight!
*Turns invisible and is picking the pockets of the spectators*
*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.Bye, all!
*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!
Whaaat? Wait! Cuz, come back! C'mon! This ain't funny! You aren't still mad about that time when you were in 1st grade and I embarrassed you in front of your friends by showing them your geeky shaman spellbooks, are ya? Hey, come back!
*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!
BOOOOOOOOO!
BOOOOOOOOO!*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!
Uh-oh....tough crowd.
Um, a kobold, a knight, and a tree walk into a bar...
BOOOOOOOOO!*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!Uh-oh....tough crowd.
Um, a kobold, a knight, and a tree walk into a bar...
Come on, Joe. What would Aunt Esmeralda say?
Come on, Joe. What would Aunt Esmeralda say?BOOOOOOOOO!*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!Uh-oh....tough crowd.
Um, a kobold, a knight, and a tree walk into a bar...
Ah'd say dat ya need ta stop critissahsin' mah poor darlin' nephew.
Ah'd say dat ya need ta stop critissahsin' mah poor darlin' nephew.Come on, Joe. What would Aunt Esmeralda say?BOOOOOOOOO!*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!Uh-oh....tough crowd.
Um, a kobold, a knight, and a tree walk into a bar...
Aunt Exmerelda, I'm your nephew. He's your son. Remember? Yours and Uncle Meepo's.
Dang kid, why would he be mine? Ya tellin' me you actually believed taht story we told you?
*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!
But you were only in third place in witty reparte because you were off to a late start! And he already changed the name! Don't leave! I'll have to make up entirely new betting odds!
But you were only in third place in witty reparte because you were off to a late start! And he already changed the name! Don't leave! I'll have to make up entirely new betting odds!*Sets up convenietly placed table.*
"Alright folks, there's another brawl in the boards, and you know what that means. Place your bets here. The Knight and Plant are equally matched, with the Kobold in a distant third, for his lack of witty reparte. Place your bets, place your bets!"
Yeesh, I go to the bathroom for a few minutes and when I come back, people are already insulting me.
However, I don't have the time to fight for my stupid cousin. He'll have to fend for himself. At least LastKnight won't have to change the name.
Bye, all!
Look, I have to go 'talk' to my Uncle and Aunt. It's a sad Board where evil depraved liches have to teach their won Aunts and Uncles to 'do the right thing'...
Uh-oh....I was kinda counting on my Aunt bailing me out of this fight.
Hmmm.....something witty....something that will strike fear into the heart of the enemy....
Hey! Tree! Are you aware that your irritation is a sure sign of a mistletoe infestation!
And LastKnightLeft! You know how you're scratching your butt a lot? That's a sure sign of a worm infestation!
No response? Good. I win.
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And LastKnightLeft! You know how you're scratching your butt a lot? That's a sure sign of a worm infestation!
Actually the scratching is because even it is more interesting than your petty jabs
as to my absence well what can I say, some of us have lives outside making 18 aliases of family members to pretend to talk to.
the tractor gave me ghonnoreah
What an unwelcome glimpse this gave me into your personal life...let me help you out here: it would be a mistake to assume that others share your...ah...unique experiences and accompanying misfortunes.
Well, since smackdowns are relative to the smackee and the not the smacker...yeah, you got smacked down. But apparently you, like Britney Spears, are a glutton for punishment.
Now, I feel like someone really should help you with that smell as well (in the Christmas spirit of helping those who can't help themselves). I could tell something (other than the many obvious things about you) was seriously wrong by the look on your face: pinched, uplifted nose and breathing through your mouth. Luckily, the breeze of the greenwood is always about me, keeping foreign fetor from wafting into my personal space. But now that you bring the problem to light, I can advise you on this matter: stop sticking your nose in disgusting places. When you get stuff on your nose, the odor follows. (A little logic and some knowledge of physical properties are wondrous things. Get some of both: your life will improve.)
Ah, someone gave you anagram software for the holidays...isn't that sweet. (You know those are free online, right?) Yes, we can all make anagrams, o Gall Stink Theft, or should I say, Lent Talks Fight? So far, its all been Talk Gent's Filth. Try these linguistic games with naughty halfling children--you'll be their hero.
I've seen better smackdowns in candyland
Is that where you met your tractor? I would never have patronized such an establishment myself, but I will pass your story on to others as a cautionary tale. Now I'm starting to worry that I misunderstood what kind of smackdown you wanted me to give you. Sorry, but I only engage in that kind of "smackdown" with my lady.
I'll grant you this: you seem to have cleared this thread of its kobold infestation, so at least you're not totally useless. Now that I know you are wanting chronic punishment, I'll try to check back in on this thread from time to time.
When you get stuff on your nose, the odor follows.
You know the difference between a brown nose and a butt kisser, right?
Should we offer some of our natural remedies for the vision (and other) problems?
Personally I like kobolds. They decompose more quickly. But they all taste the same. Must be some recurring genetic traits. Happy birthday Uncle Cousin Brother Dad and all that... Silly little things, speed dating isn't supposed to be done at family reunions.
Should we offer some of our natural remedies for the vision (and other) problems?
It's a generous impulse, and surely the greenwood is a bounteous spread of remedies...however, I fear that even its nigh-endless resources would be consumed with the problems of one person, and that would not be right.
Personally I like kobolds. They decompose more quickly. But they all taste the same. Must be some recurring genetic traits. Happy birthday Uncle Cousin Brother Dad and all that... Silly little things, speed dating isn't supposed to be done at family reunions.
I don't dislike kobolds, in theory. But recent experiences have cast them in a negative light. I really do like the decomposition feature, so upon your advice, I'll have some of the fauns spread their corpses around the nymphs' sacred grove as fertilizer.
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the tractor gave me ghonnoreahWhat a glimpse this gave me into your personal life...let me help you out here
Hey, Woah! keep your hands to yourself buddy, I know your game now, your that creepy old man that tells kids, oh come play with me in the woods, we'll dance with fairies and nymphs. I know how it is, that's not your real face it's a mask of leaves you've glued on so when the little children run to the police all they can say is, a big leafy guy did bad things to me. Well now that we know how it is, I think I'll just make sure there's at least 20 ft of personal space between us at any given time you perv.
The worst thing about PROJECTION is: insight into another's interior darkness. Yuck.
My woods are safe for children...but we've put a warning sign up now with your avatar on it, just to keep it that way. I've also sent copies of this thread to all halfling parents out of fear that one of my insults might be used as a strategy for ingratiation.
And FYI, dancing with nymphs takes place in the Adults Only section of the wild wood.
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The worst thing about PROJECTION is: insight into another's interior darkness. Yuck.
My woods are safe for children...but we've put a warning sign up now with your avatar on it, just to keep it that way. I've also sent copies of this thread to all halfling parents out of fear that one of my insults might be used as a strategy for ingratiation.
And FYI, dancing with nymphs takes place in the Adults Only section of the wild wood.
The only reason that it's adults only is because parents learned a long time ago not to bring their kids around your woods.
The worst thing about MAIRKURION {TM} is that he pretends there's an adults only section of the wildwood, when the truth is that like most nerds we know that adults only means it's him in front of his computer with a bottle of lotion.
Really? I mean, really?
That's the worst thing about me? You've given up on making up worse things about me to settle on this, the thing that really is "the worst thing about MAIRKURION" (Yes, I sense the awe and respect behind the all-caps.) I have never heard defeat come so clearly from the mouth of my opponent. It couldn't have been clearer if you had said, "I'm a gninny gnome gnight and my name is Fail E. McFailure." Truly, what you caught from the tractor must have resulted in some sort of degenerative neural syndrome. I won't even draw attention to the ongoing revelations behind your statements.PS Caught before you edited it. A further admission.
The only reason that it's adults only is because parents learned a long time ago not to bring their kids around your woods.
I think what's confusing you is the sign at the entrance that says, "No humanoids under this height." Sorry, the nymphs like their men tall. Try the faerie park.
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The worst thing about MAIRKURION {TM} is that he pretends there's an adults only section of the wildwood, when the truth is that like most nerds we know that adults only means it's him in front of his computer with a bottle of lotion.Really? I mean, really?
That's the worst thing about me? You've given up on making up worse things about me to settle on this, the thing that really is "the worst thing about MAIRKURION" (Yes, I sense the awe and respect behind the all-caps.) I have never heard defeat come so clearly from the mouth of my opponent. It couldn't have been clearer if you had said, "I'm a gninny gnome gnight and my name is Fail E. McFailure." Truly, what you caught from the tractor must have resulted in some sort of degenerative neural syndrome. I won't even draw attention to the ongoing revelations behind your statements.PS Caught before you edited it. A further admission.
actually I posted it and decided it was too adult and honestly a wee bit immature, nice of you not to let it go though since it was deleted before you even responded to it. What is sad is that your reading comprehension seems to have gone to the wayside as well, since I never said I caught ghonnorea from a tractor, but rather that the statement I got fungus from kobolds was in a similar vein and that I don't buy such a statement. Honestly I shouldn't expect much in the way of scholarly pursuits from someone who's face is comprised of iceberg lettuce.
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The only reason that it's adults only is because parents learned a long time ago not to bring their kids around your woods.I think what's confusing you is the sign at the entrance that says, "No humanoids under this height." Sorry, the nymphs like their men tall. Try the faerie park.
No what's confusing me is why the salad faced man is trying to hide behind the tree and offer candy to any rosey cheeked young lads who walk by.
actually I posted it and decided it was too adult and honestly a wee bit immature, nice of you not to let it go though since it was deleted before you even responded to it. What is sad is that your reading comprehension seems to have gone to the wayside as well, since I never said I caught ghonnorea from a tractor, but rather that the statement I got fungus from kobolds was in a similar vein and that I don't buy such a statement. Honestly I shouldn't expect much in the way of scholarly pursuits from someone who's face is comprised of iceberg lettuce.
All I know is that it had been there a good long while when I hit reply, and I didn't know it was gone until after I hit submit. Blaming me for what you wrote...eh, not gonna fly. Naturally, however, I agree with your later characterization of your post, but it is not surprising that you regret such follies with hindsight...no matter how long it took.
As for reading comprehension, the misreading of the kobold incident deserved the supposed misreading of the tractor, if misread read it be...sometimes, by "misreading" misleading statements, we uncover the ugly truth underneath.
And your ongoing attempts to guess the nature of my foliage is charming...maple, iceberg...oh, what is it?!
No what's confusing me is why the [green]man is trying to hide behind the tree and offer candy to any rosey cheeked young lads [and lasses] who walk by.
First, I fixed your post for you. Second, Santa Claus must also confuse you. It's called holiday spirit.
Again, don't confuse very different parts of the woods. Please attend: differences are important.|
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No what's confusing me is why the [green]man is trying to hide behind the tree and offer candy to any rosey cheeked young lads [and lasses] who walk by.First, I fixed your post for you. Second, Santa Claus must also confuse you. It's called holiday spirit.
Again, don't confuse very different parts of the woods. Please attend: differences are important.
Dennis da Ogre is a green man, you are salad faced. my statement needed no correction.
Santa does confuse me, the fact that he is a bastardization of a folklore myth that serves to encourage holiday consumerism instead of celebrating the true meaning of the holidays.
At least when children sit on santa's lap they don't wind up with a mysterious rash from the man made of poison Ivy. granted that's the least of their worries at the time.
Oh my...Bestiary 101. Dennis da Ogre is an O-G-R-E (apparently, at least part-ogre). A greenman is not an ogre...or a salad. It is an @ss-kicking fey creature of mystery and magic. Let me know if you have trouble googling it...there's lots of reading out there for you.
And see, that's the thing with people who are wrong. They often do not know they need correction, even after they have been graciously given it.
Wow. The one note pedophilia (a misnomer if there ever was one) thing is all you've got, huh? I'm not going to say anything more about it, since I don't want to be in the possible position of saying something that would hurt victims of this horrendous crime. In the greenwood, we simply have some of the more active ents fetch such criminals up and rip their heads off for bowling on the green.
Pederasty is nasty. Come back when you've got something else. Maybe it will be semi-believable, though it would be hard to imagine that it wouldn't be funnier.
Mairkurion: Champion of Greenmen and Santa Claus, Protector of Children.
I know nothing about the toothfairy or this gnome with the unfortunate blight. (A relative? An intimate of yours? Both?)
On the other hand, I define myself by my actions. You were saying some pretty harsh things about ol' St Nick, I defend him and his actions. These stands are in no way inconsistent with dancing in the woods.
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I know nothing about the toothfairy or this gnome with the unfortunate blight. (A relative? An intimate of yours? Both?)
On the other hand, I define myself by my actions. You were saying some pretty harsh things about ol' St Nick, I defend him and his actions. These stands are in no way inconsistent with dancing in the woods.
Oh I defend saint Nicholas's actions, slowly becoming soil and fertilizing the earth is a wonderful occupation for the departed. I even defend his actions from his life. Santa Claus on the otherhand is a twisted violation of the saint nicholas story and one that does nothing for the holiday but turn it into a meaningless "what did I get?" day. Not that getting presents is bad, just that that's not what the holiday is supposed to be about and the fact that 3 people were trampled to death during the black friday rush shows how bad it has distorted this holiday and the season.
See...you said "he IS the" etc. So I accept your explanation as a removal of potential smear upon his honor. (Even if your further statements about his current status might be open to meta-physical inquiry.) People are often abused by stories that rise up around them...why, one only has to look at this thread to see examples that this is so.