Ogre song

[Timespike]

So we've got goblin songs, what about an ogre song? If I may, I humbly submit the following tasteless claptrap.

I will kill you
make you dead
I will kill you
smash your head
I will bash you
shiny red
I will kill you
make you dead

I'll beat you in the beating place
the beating place is in the face
I don't care 'bout your creed or race
I'll just beat you in the face

Now which of those is the (single) verse and which is the chorus is up to the reader to decide...

[Cralius the Dark]

I can just see the Ogre Bard (?!?!?) plucking away on his banjo singing this while his buddies do the skull-jig around a bon-fire.

Ogres love a good hootenanny.

That line just cracks me up.

[Gurubabaramalamaswami]

This made me choke on my tea and spew it everywhere.

Which is to say...kudos to the OP. :)

[Majuba]

One of my players came up with this for Part II:...

Whos afraid of the skinsaw man
The skinsaw man
The skinsaw man
Whos afraid of the skinsaw man
Sending mothers to their morning.

Skin your children and cook their heads
Cook their heads
Cook their heads
Skin your children and cook their heads
Oh you'll be dead in the morning

Who's afraid of the skinsaw man
The skinsaw man
The skinsaw man
Who's afraid of the skinsaw man
When no one wakes in the morning..

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Duelling Banjos

[Dennis da Ogre]

Timespike wrote:

So we've got goblin songs, what about an ogre song? If I may, I humbly submit the following tasteless claptrap.

I will kill you
make you dead
I will kill you
smash your head
I will bash you
shiny red
I will kill you
make you dead

I'll beat you in the beating place
the beating place is in the face
I don't care 'bout your creed or race
I'll just beat you in the face

Now which of those is the (single) verse and which is the chorus is up to the reader to decide...

I can't believe I never saw this thread. Should be in the General Forum. Awesome

[Hojas]

My name is Hojas and I approve this song :) My band's rendition of the goblin song will be mixed and mastered soon. I will make sure to post it when it's finished.

edit: A friend of mine wants to spray paint "You never think I write with you bloody head etc..." in a few choice spots around town. Those silly ogres!

[Bagpuss]

Anything by Sepultura would do for Ogres, surely?

[Golarion Goblin]

Hojas wrote:

My name is Hojas and I approve this song :) My band's rendition of the goblin song will be mixed and mastered soon. I will make sure to post it when it's finished.

edit: A friend of mine wants to spray paint "You never think I write with you bloody head etc..." in a few choice spots around town. Those silly ogres!

While I'm sure that no member of Paizo Publishing LLC(R), nor myself, would advocate such activities, there might be a decent chance that someone who may or may not be typing this would laugh his arse off if he saw that somewhere.

[Fraust]

I so thought this song would have more words like "sodomy" and "pain hole"...*shrugs* Not saying I don't like it, just sayin'...

[The Jade]

Timespike wrote:

So we've got goblin songs, what about an ogre song? If I may, I humbly submit the following tasteless claptrap.

I will kill you
make you dead
I will kill you
smash your head
I will bash you
shiny red
I will kill you
make you dead

I'll beat you in the beating place
the beating place is in the face
I don't care 'bout your creed or race
I'll just beat you in the face

Now which of those is the (single) verse and which is the chorus is up to the reader to decide...

That's really good, Timespike! My favorite line? The beating place is in the face. That's just so damn perfect. If you want me to record it and provide it for DL I'd be happy to. I'll even lower my voice to ridiculously deep octaves and use a skin drum.

[Timespike]

Hey, go for it, Jade! Glad you guys like it so much. :)

Upon further review, you might want to take the second part as:

Real ogre song wrote:

I beat you in da beating place

da beating place is in da face
I not care 'bout your creed or race
I just beat you in da face

or something similar when you record it.

If my memory serves (away from books at the moment) Ogres are even stupider than goblins. Proper grammar and enunciation might strain the suspension of disbelief. ;)