Chaine looks blankly at the assembled table, blinks, and then says to Sharinda, "Ale... dark." before sitting down at a spare chair numbly.
"Right, start again. What in Desna's name is a transitive plane?"
Sharinda nods to acknowledge she heard the order. She put a hand up as O.L.L.I preapres to explain the nature of a transitive plane in four-part painful harmony
"I'll field this one ducks. Think of it as a train station, yeh ken trains? No? Alright, think of it as an island that sits between a bunch of other places people are travelling to. Naturally, people tend to stop on their way to these other places, jest to catch their breath, or a bite to eat. Eventually, people build shelters there, then start selling food an' drink. It becomes an important place, not because it makes anything, or has anything, but because people can stop and eat a bit, drink a bit, maybe chat and do a little business as well. That's the best I can tells yeh.."
Pauses
"Yeh said yer from Golarion right? Think on this place as a tiny version of that trading city you cutters have, whaddya calls it, Absalami or summat?"
Witchbrand looks around, understanding.
"Ah, so this is sort of like the Mists, then? I think I understand now."
Lolenthiel's antenna writhe slowly, her equivelent of a thoughtful expression. She waves a spoon vaguely in Sharinda's general direction, "I've always thought of them as more like hallways, where the Heavens, Hell, Mechanus, the Prime are all just rooms. But I suppose people don't usually build waystations or cities inside hallways." That said, she proceeds to attack a bowl of cooled soup.
"... my analogies always break down. Usually when I try to find a similie for infinite space or alien entities no sane mind can describe."
"I, ah, didn't say I was from anywhere..." Chaine says suspiciously, "So... this is a gateway to other realms?"
"Yep," Karrin says, "all sorts of planes, but finding the one you want is real hard and stuff cuz the hallways outside of this room are always shifting. I never did much exploring cuz some of those doors are one way and I don't want ta get stuck somewhere I don't know, but some people do nothing except explore. Me I just come here to eat. I live in Sigil and that's one of the few stable two-way doors. I think it's cuz Sigil is another transitive plane."
Chaine half closes his eyes, "And dare I ask.... 'Sigil'?"
"Greeting Planewalkers and welcome to the World Serpent! Come in and take a load off yer feet. I be Mitchifer your humble hoslter. What can I get for ya? I have a selection of viands and victuals for every taste from Arborean apple pies, Heartwine from Curst, Bytopian barley toast, or even roast Fhorge... that's a crazy wild boar what lives on the 'Land. And drinks from around the multiverse to quench the mightiest thirsts! If ya need a room there's plenty to be had round the back corridors. Careful though even I don't know everything that goes on back there."
A frazzled-looking dwarf wearing soiled tye-dye clerical vestments is hurled through an improvised portal that looks like a zippered pocket opening up from nowhere. As the screaming dwarf crashes over the bar to the chaotic melody of breaking mugs and the roars and protests of irritated, intoxicated patrons, a crotchety, ethereal voice follows from the beyond of the zippered portal: "And stay off my lawn, you ingrate!" The portal then seals quickly with an amplified zipping sound, and zips itself out of existence or into another plane, or something.
After a moment, the dwarf climbs up over the bar and sets himself on a vacant barstool. "One shot of liquid LSD, please," he calls out to the bartender, his voice sonorous and innocent.
Chaine half closes his eyes, "And dare I ask.... 'Sigil'?"
"Hmmm, it's like a really big doughnut in the sky," Karrin muses, "there's all sorts of portals and doorways there as well, but, I guess, you need keys and portal stones to activate them. It's a really big city mostly though, kinda neat, but real dangerous. I like it here best though, they got the best food, and everyone is real friendly."
Chaine nods as if humouring a mad person, "A doughnut in the sky... of course..."
"I, ah, didn't say I was from anywhere..." Chaine says suspiciously, "So... this is a gateway to other realms?"
Sharinda chuckles
"No yeh didn't. I head you taking Desna's name as an oath, an' some cutter jest bored me with this long-winded account of Golarion gods an' I recalled one of the gods bein' named that. Heh. Before I assume things I should remember the Golden Rule of assumption!"
Looks up at the newcomer.
"I'll bring yeh some Tharkadian Ebony Triple Boch sirrrah."
Hurries off
Looks up at the newcomer.
"I'll bring yeh some Tharkadian Ebony Triple Boch sirrrah."
Hurries off
"What? No Orange Sunshine in this establishment? No Wavy Gravy? Where are all the hippies? Where are all the heads?" The dwarf is wide-eyed and suddenly raving. He looks around wildly and tries to spot his server.
"What? No Orange Sunshine in this establishment? No Wavy Gravy? Where are all the hippies? Where are all the heads?" The dwarf is wide-eyed and suddenly raving. He looks around wildly and tries to spot his server.
Sharinda hurries up to the newcomer
"Sorry I didn't see yeh come in cutter, yeh were at the bar an' all I though Mitchifer would get yeh. Where'd ol' Snake Eyes go anyway ..?"
Pauses
"Well, that's neither Spire nor Sigil. What are yeh looking to get fer bub ducks?"
Sharinda hurries up to the newcomer
"Sorry I didn't see yeh come in cutter, yeh were at the bar an' all I though Mitchifer would get yeh. Where'd ol' Snake Eyes go anyway ..?"
Pauses
"Well, that's neither Spire nor Sigil. What are yeh looking to get fer bub ducks?"
Mull squints down at the waitress from the height of his barstool. "What? What's that?" he asks, scrunching up his face obnoxiously. "What dialect are you speaking? I can barely make out any words. What's this about 'bub ducks'?"
Sharinda looks at the scrunched faced stranger
"What ... do ... you ... want ... to ... drink."
The small gnome waitress says it slow and enunciates every word.
Chaine nods as if humouring a mad person, "A doughnut in the sky... of course..."
"Not a real doughnut of course!" Karrin laughs, "But that's the shape of it. The strange part is that you walk along the inside of it so when you look up you see the rest of the city. The light is artificial. I wish I knew more about it but I'm pretty new there myself. It's a pretty cool place though, people from all over the place, but it's a lot more dangerous. This place on the other hand is real safe, it's hard for people use magic, you have to get hit real hard to take damage, and you heal really quick. I love it here!"
Sharinda looks at the scrunched faced stranger
"What ... do ... you ... want ... to ... drink."
The small gnome waitress says it slow and enunciates every word.
Mull boggles at the apparent density of the gnome. "What do I want?" He hops down from the stool so as to be able to look her square in the face. "I want what I wanted when I got thrown in this place in the first place," he cries out, flabbergasted. He then pauses and mutters to one side, "I say, that was a damn confusing sentence there, Mull. Good job!" He looks back to the gnome. "So I take it that liquid LSD is not on the beverage list? You offered me a triple boch of some kind? That will do in a pinch. You'll have to pardon me, though, I am recovering from an extended stay with the Merry Pranksters on the northern California coast on the Earth of AD 1965. They have strange brews there, full of madness!" Mull gibbers, then shouts out, "Such madness! Such intense--MADNESS!!" He closes his eyes tightly, again scrunching up his face. His visage takes on an aura of tortuous ecstasy, full of creases and odd angles. It's really weird, but then goes away as he opens his eyes once more. "Yes, yes, a triple boch will do in a pinch," he says. "Better make it a boilermaker, though, with a shot of whiskey in there."
Mull suddenly focuses his attention on the conversation at the table. He bolts over to the group sitting there talking about donuts. "Did I hear that there are donuts?" he shouts, excited. "What kind? Bear claws? Kruellers? Any apple fritters? I also like the chocolate-iced chocolate cake kind. And the ones that are filled with filling. Full of filling, that's always filling and delicious. I can eat a lot of donuts, mind you! And pastries! Oh, wow! The pastries at Trollmarsh--those were most excellent. Too bad that play-by-post got canceled," he rants, frothing a little bit at the mouth.
... "Yes, yes, a triple boch will do in a pinch," he says. "Better make it a boilermaker, though, with a shot of whiskey in there."
Sharinda calmy listens to the ravings of the newcomer. In the hundred-odd years she's worked this inn, she's gotten a lot of odd ducks
"Tharkadian Ebony Triple boch and a shot of Tir Na Og's own Black Epona Label coming up!"
SHe ducks behind the bar, coming up with a frothing pint glass of a very dark ale and a shot of dark amber alcohol.
"There you are. I'll be round to see how yer faring in a bit."
She hurries off to get Chaine his drink
Traveller Smurf looks up from his apple brandy
"Wow. What the smurf is up with this smurf." He whispers to Hop Toy
... I can eat a lot of donuts, mind you! And pastries! ...
Sharinda, overhearing this rant from where she is pouring Chaine's triple boch, grabs a plate of assorted doughnuts to bring over. It always helped to get the ones in portal shock some food to help them adjust.
"Here's some doughnuts sir,' she says soothingly to Mull. She turns to Chaine.
"Here's your drink sir, enjoy."
Turns to the others.
"Anyone in need of a 'fresher?"
Mull stuffs a handful of assorted donuts into his mouth, which opens surprisingly wide--real wide, wider than seems dwarvenly possible or appropriate. He munches and slathers, and as he devours the doughy treats, stray blobs of soggy, sugary dough fall from his maw and splatter on the table, on the floor, and on the 5murf.
"Mmm, that's so good," mumbles Mull. He smiles blissfully as he drops the shot glass of black label whiskey into the pint glass of triple boch. "Ah. And this ought to follow quite nicely," he says, tipping the foaming beverage back and emptying half of it in quick, greedy gulps.
The stocky barkeep waves the addled dwarf over to the bar. "LSD eh??? Well it's probably not what yer expectin' but I could milk some venom from me beard and mix it with some Curacao to smooth it out and served in chilled. Might give ya the same woozy-doozy feeling yer lookin fer."
The barkeep looks at the smashed glasses and his upturned bar and adds, "But next time ye come in use a door. I ain't keen on unregistered portals and gates opening in me taproom. Now I gotta get some more crockery!"
The stocky barkeep waves the addled dwarf over to the bar. "LSD eh??? Well it's probably not what yer expectin' but I could milk some venom from me beard and mix it with some Curacao to smooth it out and served in chilled. Might give ya the same woozy-doozy feeling yer lookin fer."
The barkeep looks at the smashed glasses and his upturned bar and adds, "But next time ye come in use a door. I ain't keen on unregistered portals and gates opening in me taproom. Now I gotta get some more crockery!"
"Venom, you say?" Mull looks at the barkeep with suspicious interest. "What kind of venom are we talking about here? And when was the last time you washed your beard?"
As for the criticism of his entrance, the mad dwarf waves away the immortal barkeep's concerns. "Nonsense, my good man! I would never dream of entering in such a manner on purpose." He obviously bluffs, his voice a mockery of prideful disdain. "It wasn't my fault. It was that damn Grandfather Thompson of Woody Creek! He assaulted me with some kind of hideously advanced blunderbuss, and then sent me packing through a rip in the space-time continuum. He's got warped senses of both humor and justice, that one!"
Traveller Smurf looks up from his apple brandy
"Wow. What the smurf is up with this smurf." He whispers to Hop Toy
"Croooaaaaaaaak croak Croaaaaaaakkk*," Hop-Toy replies out of the side of his mouth, as he half turns to regard the dwarf. If a toad could shrug you'd assume that the familiar just shrugged.
*In case anyone can understand amphibian:
<It is as my valet says, planer travelers come in all sorts>
Traveller Smurf nods his head
I guess so Hop Toy!
Sharinda comes to the table bearing an assortment of meat pies.
"Mitchifer sent these over, figured you folks were getting a mite hungry. Can I getcher any drinks? Shactal, you ready for a new Bloody Apocalypse?"
Slurps larva out of the big frosty drink he has
"Yah hit me wif anovver Sharindy."
Traveller Smurf nods his head
I guess so Hop Toy!
Hop-Toy gives the smurf a glance out of the corner of his eye,
"Croak Cccrooak?*" Hop-Toy asks.
Traveller Smurf responds in a croaking voice
Amphibian:
"Ya know I once knew a mad old hedge wizard who wanted to bake a bunch of little blue folk into pies or somesuch... Barmy lugged about the most bedraggled cat I've ever seen around too! Heard he got 'et by a warren of Xvarts in Acheron."
Hop-Toy turns, looking rather excited (for a toad).
"Ya know I once knew a mad old hedge wizard who wanted to bake a bunch of little blue folk into pies or somesuch... Barmy lugged about the most bedraggled cat I've ever seen around too! Heard he got 'et by a warren of Xvarts in Acheron."
Traveller Smurf starts
"Gargamel! Oh I hope that rumor is true Mitchifer!"
Traveller Smurf turns to Hop Toy:
Amphibian:
amphibian:
Traveller Smurf answers
Amphibian:
Hop-Toy's eyes bulge at the talk of predators, something seems to ripple under the skin, as if tentacles or worms struggled to break through:
A calming hand suddenly covers the agitated toad:
"Hop-Toy, are you again talking about frogs,
when you do anger cloud your mind like a fog,
you need to eat something and try to relax,
this stress isn't good for you, that's a fact."
Traveller Smurf starts
"Oh I am smurfy if I got you all smurfed up Hop Toy!"
He nods
"But you are right those storks are real smurftards."
Traveller Smurf starts
"Gargamel! Oh I hope that rumor is true Mitchifer!"
"Well I lanned that chant off a Barbazu slaver outta Wrychtmirk who's tongue loosens up after a few flagons of strong Stygian grog... Speaking of Stygian grog I have a cask of it tapped behind the bar fer any o' ye of the fiendish bent, eh?"
"Mitchifer is looking a little blue," Karrin notes, she leans over and whispers to O.l.l.i., "maybe he's lonely? I wonder if Malfaerr could cheer him up . . . I mean he has snakes for a beard and she looks like she has snakes for hair, her name starts with an 'm' and his name starts with an 'm', they're both sort of strange . . ."
O.L.L.I cogitates this odd bit of thought from Karrin.
'Perhaps, friend and fellow adventurer Karrin. However, this unit cannot make a reasonable predictor on their compatability, since this unit, being a construct, doesn't have the reproductive urges flesh beings have."
"He-he... The fun part about us scalyfolk is we're into biting and constriction. Take that however ye will! Now who wants shots?!?!?!"
Traveller Smurf grins
Smurf me up some apple brandy Mitchifer! He squeaks
Joachim nods
"I will take one as well noble publican. Perhaps some Sambucca? I enjoy its flavor. We have nothing like it in my country."
The large devil grunts
"I'm always ready for free liquor. Can yeh get me a shot of Wild Pazuzu?"
The large Scro pirate speaks up
I want Black Lotus Rum, the 151 proof version." He rumbles in an oddly-precise gravelly voice